Chapter 2: Let Me Out
I assume you’ve read at least some stories before in your dull lives, perhaps short stories or novella? Hmm. So you’ve read full–length novels before. Good. Then you’ll be familiar with how, at this point, most ponies will talk about having some form of dream. Some will have nightmares that grip them at the throat as they slumber. Terrifying abominations of Frankenstein–ish monsters stalking in the shadows of ancient castles…demented lovers chasing their once–betrothed through dark dungeons, trying to consume their old flames…living in a war–torn world with death beating down upon ponykind like acid rain… Others may have pleasant dreams from which they wish to never wake. How droll and sappy, those dreams usually are.
As you may have realized, I am not most ponies.
During my unconsciousness, I did not have any dreams. No, that would be too easy, too simple, too merciful for the likes of me. Instead I simply drifted in a black void. No sign of life, no hope of a future.
Was I dead? Had I been sucked into the pits of Tartaurus? I must have been, for my mind, before, had never punished me in such a horrible fashion. Floating alone in a vacuum of nothing, no ponies to know me, to love me, to even hate me. Just me on my own, a form without sentience. As terrifying as my eternity with nopony was, that wasn't what truly horrified me. No, the crux of it would all, the unreachable fruit-laden branches and pool of water that would forever tease my aching stomach and shriveled lips were the thoughts, my mind replaying on my eyes an alternate history of my life. Eternally showing me just what I could’ve had if I’d just gotten it right.
Showing legions of fans that I’d so craved, the cheers of sheer euphoria that every act yielded from my truly amazing feats. Me, myself, performing magic acts so spectacular, so mind–combusting that even I would be moved by them. Money would never be an issue, attendance to my shows would have been assured. I would only focus on making sure my shows were the most amazing forms of entertainment that any pony could ever hope to experience. The crowds would be blissful and content, moved and changed. They would be happy, and they would love me. And my purpose in life would have been fulfilled. The Lulamoon line of magnificent magicians would have been maintained. My father’s legacy, just as his father’s before him, would live on.
And then those falsified ‘memories,’ the life I wish I could adopt as my own, would be ripped from me, replaced with the memories of what had really happened. Unabridged and unrelenting.
Around and around the cycle would go. When it would stop, I’d never soon know…
Celestia must have a twisted sense of mercy. After an eternity too long, I finally heard something, something going into my ears rather than resonating in my head. It was a voice. At first I couldn’t really hear it, thinking maybe it was just a ghost from my memories or something. But soon it got louder. It was calling for me. It was familiar. Not in the comforting sense like it would be if your father were calling for you, but in the sense that your spine suddenly froze over. Soon it was booming through the vacuum of the void, the soundwaves slamming my body, making my bones shudder.
It was Twilight Sparkle’s voice, repeating one, single chant. Trixie… Trixie! TRIXIE! WAKE UP!
And ever sappily, that’s when my mind burst out from the void and my body jolted up, a scream ripping my lips asunder.
The first thing that greeted me was darkness. Then a voice.
"You okay there, Trixie?"
I jumped at the voice and shoved myself up on my hooves. My left leg throbbed as I applied pressure, and I was forced to raise it as I lowered myself, tensing my muscles, ready to pounce on the first threat that met my sight.
“Who’s there? Where am I?”
My eyes were quick to adapt to the low light as I threw my head to the left and right, taking in my surroundings. There wasn't much. Buckets and pails, lots of hay piles, some wrapped in bales, a loft–
"You're in a barn."
My breath hitched at the familiar voice and my eyes followed the sound to a lantern, dimly lit in the otherwise dark barn. Beneath it was that farm pony, coat of a golden delicious and mane as blond as the hay she was laying upon, staring me down with steady, unyielding eyes.
“A barn? Your barn?”
"My barn,” she replied steadily. “Now what’s wrong? You still hurt?”
“What am I doing here?!” I snapped, still tense.
“You were getting mugged by some ponies. Long–short, we got you out of there and brought you to the farm; figured nopony would bother to come all the way here just to tussle with ya.”
There was a strange itch at my side. I squirmed, trying to make it go away as I stayed my gaze, my face hardening. “I see. So you brought me all the way out here to this rundown farm just to dispose of me yourself.” I lowered my head, pointing my horn at her face. “What? Didn’t want to tarnish your precious reputations as the Elements of Harmony by practicing a public execution?”
“We were never gonna execute you, no matter how much of a pest you are to society,” she replied with a cruelly calm honesty, disturbingly unaffected by my curt remark against what I assumed would be her pride and joy. When the entirety of what she said replayed in my mind, I frowned. So now I was a criminal and a pest. My prospects for the future were looking better by the hour.
“Then what? Are you going to turn me into a slave on your farm, forcing me to plow your fields and pluck your rotten apples for the rest of my life? Or are you simply going to starve me to death and use my pellet as a scarecrow?” I was starting to shake again like I’d done in that alley. At least my glowing horn and steady voice showed my valiant defiance. “Or perhaps you would like to–”
“What the hay's going on in–”
The voice of a young filly rang in my ears, followed by a much louder, familiar, and stupid sounding bellow.
“AJ, GET DOWN!”
I didn’t even get a chance to turn my head before I found myself flying into the back of the barn, my body throbbing from the impact of bones slamming into wood paneling. As I crumble on the floor beneath the loft, a pair of hooves smashed into my side, pinning me.
“Don’t you dare lay a hoof on my friends,” the new voice shouted.
I didn’t need to look up to know the rainbow–maned Pegasus had arrived on the scene. My response outclassed her angry burst in every way.
“Get your dirty hooves off of my coat, get your disgusting muzzle out of my face, and chew a peppermint leaf!”
What? It’s cliché, but better than what she’d belted out.
But I have to admit, the farm pony had won this bout of the dialogue joust, as she caught both of us completely off guard.
“Rainbow, get off’a her! Little Ms. Hocus Pocus just got spooked by me is all, she wasn’t gonna hurt me.”
“But her horn–”
–Was still glowing.
“Get Off!”
I reached into my reservoir of magical knowledge and cast an illumination spell, supercharging my horn as I did so to turn what normally would’ve been a small illuminating bulb into a searing bright light. There was a sharp pain pulsing from my horn as I summoned the spell but the pain was well worth it. ‘Rainbow’ yelped as she was in the epicenter of the blast, reeling off of me as I literally leapt forth towards my freedom. A screech slammed my ears as I galloped forward and, recalling the little filly that was at the door, I jumped over her. I smiled, having overcome the hurdle placed before me by the ponies who wished ill towards me most, and galloped with renewed energy for the edge of the farm.
Ugh, that itch was getting worse, now...
It was night out. The moon and stars in the sky provided much needed illumination. The groves of trees offered equally needed cover. Galloping deep into the throngs of fruit–bearing trees, I jumped into one and climbed its branches, poking my head from the leaves to spy in the night sky. I quickly saw why ‘AJ’ hadn’t responded to my insults against her farm. For one, the farm’s fields were much larger than I ever could have anticipated. Even in the dim moonlit night, I could see the hills absolutely saturated with acres on top of acres of trees! What’s more, the apples that weighted the branches all looked healthy and big, gleaming happily in the moonlight. How the hay somepony was supposed to traverse hills that steep and harvest these apples I’d never know!
I quickly realized that I wasn’t going to be able to plot my escape just by sitting at the base of those hills. I’d have to climb up for a birds–eye view. Shouldn’t be a problem; pulling a cart around for the better half of my life had done wonders for my physical endurance. Even with only three hooves to use, I’d make it to the top no problem. I jumped from the tree and galloped full–speed for the incline.
Ten minutes later, my legs were on fire as I trudged for the apex of that stupid, accursed hill on that ugly wretched farm with it’s–
There was a pain in my stomach accompanied by a strong gurgling sound.
–suddenly delicious–looking apples…
Heaving out breaths as heavy as my hooves as I reached the top of the hill, I reached out with my magic and grabbed an apple. I hated to admit it then, but it was the most glorious looking apple I’d ever seen in my life. It was the one artifact on this planet that dared to rival my own face for sheer beauty. Even better, it was edible. Without so much as another thought, I sank my teeth into the deep–red fruit. I chewed in delight, enjoying the crispy crunch of the skin and the hearty ‘meat’ of the fruit that lay underneath. I especially loved the juice that filled my mouth, savoring it’s sugary sweetness as I gulped down the first pieces of sustenance that I’d had in–
I realized something then. This was the first time I’d eaten anything in weeks. The first time I’d drunk anything in weeks. Most ponies could only go about a week without food, and only a few days without water. Yet… Weeks. I’d gone weeks without one drop of food or water… I should’ve been dead by now of malnourishment…of dehydration… How in the wide world of Equestria was I still here?
A loud bellow burst through the chilly night air.
“Trixie!” It was that Rainbow pony again. “Where are you hiding? Get over here and fight like a mare!”
I couldn’t help but scoff. “You don’t want that, Spectrum, trust me…” I whispered back. The Pegasus was flying over the area around the barn. What an idiot. As if I’d run back into the town…
And that is when I met up with my good friend misfortune. For the return trip to Ponyville, I’d acquired a map of the area from a Canterlot atlas shop. I’d studied that map like an aardvark would study the anthills of an ant colony. I grew familiar with a few local landmarks. Of course, the town pavilion, but also local shops like the Carousel Boutique that that Rarity pony owned, an animal sanctuary, and an apple farm which I now recalled to be Sweet Apple Acres, no doubt the farm I was on now.
The misfortune came in the farm’s positioning compared to the Everfree Forest. My survivability was entirely dependent on the notion that I would have perished in that forest. From there, I…I’d have to plan out some things, but the point is I had to reach that forest! And the only way I would be able to get there from the farm was to either cut straight through Ponyville, or work my way around the outskirts. But either way, I couldn’t avoid Ponyville…
I sighed. I then sighed again at how sighing was becoming a habit of mine. “Why does life have to be so ironic?”
I could just wait them out in the groves, hope they’d eventually lose interest and retire for the night… It’d be easy to sneak out, then.
Except there’s no way they’d actually retire. Not after the things I’ve done. That a mob hadn’t busted in that barn and carried my limp, unconscious body away in my sleep is a miracle in itself. But–
“What’s with this itch?!”
To be frank, ‘itch’ was not the proper word to describe how I was feeling at that moment. What had started as a simple itch had turned into a biting– nay, gnawing fire that burned both the surface of my skin and the layers beneath! I bent down onto my haunches and brought up my rear leg to scratch at it like a dog would when I turned my head to look at the offending skin. Where there should’ve been sky–blue fir, there was white with some stained red stripes.
“What is…” Realizing that this white material wrapped all around my torso, I brought my right hoof to my stomach. Feeling the soft, gauzy substance, I frowned, my mind starting to muddle with confusion.
“Bandages?”
It’s funny to say, I hadn’t bothered to inspect my leg until then, but when I did, I found it sitting between two wooden stints, the limb tied so tight that I shouldn’t have been able to bend it at all.
“This doesn’t make any sense. Had a nurse come by or…But…why would…”
Not even awake for half–an–hour and my mind felt like it was melting by just how impossible these prior events were. Three ways I could’ve, no, should’ve died. Three times, my life had been spared. In ways I couldn’t hope to understand. For reasons I just couldn’t comprehend. I’d been saved from the denizens of Ponyville by the very ponies I’d victimized most. I’d been treated by…somepony, of my wounds despite knowing that I was universally hated. My own body somehow had refused to let me leave this earth, staying strong despite receiving no nourishment. None of this made sense. I don’t like it when things don't make sense.
I heaved out a long sigh, clearing my lungs and throwing my thoughts onto the backburner. I needed to keep focus. Whatever was going on could only end in my demise, and I wasn’t going to have it. If I was going to die, it would be on my terms. No exceptions.
Standing on my three good hooves, I decided to just throw the dice and go for broke. I needed to get to the Everfree, and if plowing my way through Ponyville was the way to do it, then so be it. I’d be at an advantage, hopefully, with it being night time. The main street should be completely barren; even if there were a couple of ponies stationed there, if I kept up my momentum, threw a blinding spell in or two if I had to, I should be able to stay well ahead. Once I get past that southern bridge, it should be a straight shot into that accursed forest.
First things first, though. I had to get past the ponies on this farm. Plowing through wouldn’t work, here. All the cart pulling in the world couldn’t condition me to out–perform that farm pony, and the Pegasus pony had a very obvious advantage over me. I wasn’t sure how I’d shake the former, but the latter could be dealt with if I maintained proper timing... Squinting, I could see something positioned by the barn. Perhaps a barrel. If I could lure her to that spot…
“There you are!” I looked up to see that rainbow–maned pony diving down like a poorly camouflaged owl pouncing a wounded mouse. I cursed my lack of attentiveness and dove from the hill just as the Pegasus made impact. The ground quaked and I found myself wobbling as I slid on my hooves between the blessedly neat rows of trees. As soon as my sliding momentum began to slow, I bent my legs low, and the second I hit the base of the hill, I leapt up and pounded the ground again in a frantic sprint. My heart slammed against my bandage–bound ribs as the sound of wings beating the air drew ever closer to me. Desperate to widen the gap, I threw my head back and, ignoring another blast of pain from my horn, shot a branch of lightning at her. The lightning held no different properties, visually, from yesterday. Same pinkish hue, same small, slender rods.
There were two differences, though. Firstly, my aim was off and I didn’t even hit her. I even spied the bemused smirk on her face before I whipped my head back round and tried to increase my speed. Then, there was a hard, ferocious clap that sounded, shattering the cadence of my strides and making me stumble. I rushed to recover, but not before I found a blue blur whirling past me, the Pegasus tumbling forward as if she were falling down an invisible flight of stairs before she plowed her head into the ground. I actually winced when her head slammed into the trunk of a tree, but any sympathy was lost upon remembering my objective. I darted several rows over before I began my sprint for the barn again.
I figured my plan had suffered a modification, which frankly would have been preferable. To be able to knock out Rainbow Pegasus without inflicting any major damage to her (besides a concussion) may dissuade the remainder of the Elements from pursuing me further. Of course, little Ms. Tenacious just couldn’t stay down. Not fifteen gallops from where I’d left her, and she was back in the air again, going for another diving run. Again, my horn was stabbed with pain as I cast another spell, this time taking a page from Twilight’s book. I threw a smokebomb ahead of me into the trees and leapt to close the gap just as the buzzing of pony wings hummed gratingly in my ears. I confess that I smiled when I was tackled; I’d managed to twist my body around and rear back my hind legs. When I hit the ground, visibility lost inside the smoke, I arched my back and bucked my legs, sending the Pegasus back into the air and out of my temporary sanctum. I then endured another throb of pain as I cast another spell.
I smirked when the smoke cleared, feeling the connection I needed to confirm that the spell was a success. The haze faded and I had to fight to keep my smirk from turning into a full–fledged smile. The look of utter shock on that pony’s face was the closest thing I’d had to somepony being truly astonished at my abilities in years. I wanted savor it, drink it in. My hind legs itched to be reared up upon, to proclaim the awesomeness of the Great and Powerful Trixie! But my reality stayed in the forefront of my mind and kept me grounded. So I settled for a simple, curt mock.
“Bet you wish you could split into two you’s, huh?”
Without giving the pony a second to respond, my images and I split off into different lanes. I instructed one to run back toward the hills, and another to book for the far end of the fields. I, of course, would stay the course for the farm’s entrance.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that my plan was working. Rainbow Pegasus was chasing after the me that booked for the hills. I had to stop for a minute, using my connection with the doubles to plot out their routes. Climbing into the trees to track the rainbow trail striking against the night sky, I watched her go into a dive, about to tackle the first double. I was quick to respond and had the ethereal me teleport to the top of the hill. Even with my huffs for breath and the pain in my horn causing my ears to ring, I could still feel the earth rippling beneath my hooves as Rainbow plowed into the ground yet again.
“You need to try harder than that, Rainbow Crash,” I huffed with a laugh, channeling the words to the mouth of the hill-bound clone. I waited to hear the echo, and was satisfied not only to hear that the transfer was successful and exact, but to hear the absolute rage in the pegasus’s shriek! If I was able to fluster the farm pony this much, I my escape would be–
I felt my spine tingle with the touch of ice as I suddenly lost the signal to one of the ethereals.
No, not now, not yet!
My fears were grimly confirmed when I heard a shrill voice shouting, “She’s gone! Where’d she go?!”
“Well, well. She’s definitely livin’ up to her name. Gosh darned thing was a fake.”
No, it was too soon! Already, my ruse had been figured out! What’s worse, I only had a couple more teleportations or five more minutes of being connected to the other me before my reserves completely ran out.
I had no choice and no time. I had to get to the gate now or I’d have no chance!
Without even the comfort of hearing another boom of pony on dirt, I recalled the ethereal in a flash of light to my side. I then ordered it to stay with me as I made my rush for the barn.
Two Trixie’s running in tandem, trekking for a town that treasured the true Trixie's terminatiion. I could afford the risk of depleating the remainder of my reserves if I simply could reach the city streets. From there, I’d reach the middle of town and have us split off. By then I’d sever the connection to the ethereal and it would go up in a puff of smoke; no replacements either, no bunnies or doves like the days of old. The last string tying me to that wretched town would be cut and I would be crossing the bridge, running into the most twisted sense of sanctuary a pony could ever have.
The sounds of the world around me were all briefly lost as the rush of blood barreling through my system hissed beneath my ears. It didn’t take long, though for my senses to gain a foothold again, with quite the vengeance, in fact. All of the pain I felt was gone. I could hear everything now. The thundering of my hooves on the soft soil. The two–pony train steaming in from my left, two rhythms of hooves plowing the ground in a perfect beat like a piano player plunking away at the keys beneath the smooth strokes of violin chords. The furious parting of the winds by two pegasus wings. I could hear it all.
It was strange. I felt like a rabbit being chased down by a giant owl and a lion and its cub, yet, with all of this energy, my mind whirring with the efficiency of the Flim Flam Brothers’ cider machine, and the adrenaline even giving me a much–needed boost to my reserves, I felt like I had a chance.
I really had a chance to pull this off! There was nothing that could stop me! Not even the big red pony that tried to ram me as I passed the rear–side of the barn could stop me as I and my doppelganger simply leaped like gazelles over his galloping form! It felt so much like those glorious escapades of days passed by, it was absolutely euphoric!
We were approaching the gate now. All of the ponies chasing us seemed to be lightyears behind us. In fact, hearing the train lose steam, I allowed myself to steal a left–ward glance to see that ‘AJ’ and the little filly had stopped chasing us. The pegasus was still an issue, though, and I’d missed my opportunity to knock her out, having passed the barrel already. But with the surge of energy coursing through my veins, I could easily afford to teleport me and my brightly–colored shadow all the way through the town and into the Everfree.
Then the Pegasus did something odd that should’ve set off my warning alarms outright. She flew in front of me and landed just a couple yards past the entrance. As she did, I could’ve sworn I saw some sort of...ripple teasing the top of my eyes, but I ignored it. I gave in then, a huge smile bursting on my face, my confidence allowing my signature haughtiness shine through.
“You truly think you can out maneuver the Wise and Adaptable Trixie?! Gaze in awe, as I soar over your pathetic pegasus form and bounce off the top of your spiky–maned’ hea–”
I have to confess, I’d been given two warnings to not try what I was going to at that point. The first was that ripple from when the pegasus passed me. The second was the smug smirk that she wore when she landed, and how it only strengthened as I continued my boasting. When I made the jump, I was met, not with the downy feathers of pegasus wings, or even the rocky surface of a pony spine, but with the hard consistency of thin–air.
Yes, it was as strange to me then as it seems to you now.
When I first slammed into that strange sheet of rock–hard oxygen, I was very properly dazed and confused, and my horn, having also come in contact with the barrier, felt like it’d been dipped in liquid–nitrogen before being dropped in a pit of lava, it hurt so much! I brought a hoof up to inspect it as I lay in a prone position, amazed to find it’d stayed attached after a hit like that. I then brought that same hoof to the air before me, and was disheartened to find that rock–hard consistency was still there. No...no, rock hard wasn’t what I was getting with that second touch. No, it felt more like a smooth cup...no, smoother than that, almost like glass. Like a fish...bowl...
“A shield?”
“Yup,” that Rainbow–maned abomination replied with stolen smugness. “Twilight conjured it up when we brought you here. There’s no way out for you.”
“What?! But how are you able to get through?!”
There was a strange flash of purple on my eyes, only to dissipate and leave the form of a purple unicorn in its wake.
“I see you’re awake,” the unicorn said, voice flat and unfeeling.
The adrenaline that had fueled me for the past minute fell away now like butter from a hot biscuit. My whole body trembled as I saw the face of the pony who I’d spent a year trying to conjure the perfect act of revenge towards. The one pony in the world who I’d truly believed existed only to crush my career beneath her hooves. The one pony I’d wanted so badly to feel the pain that I’d felt after the event with the Ursa Minor.
And now, the one pony I most wanted to get away from. Surely the wrath of a cockatrice would be more merciful than the retribution I’d receive from Celestia’s most prized student.
My mouth was topped up with cement liquid, magically drying between my teeth and asphyxiating my lungs. All I could think to do was back away, my trembling muscles screaming for me to run.
“There’s no point in running, Trixie. I designed this shield especially for unicorns. Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack can come and go from the farm as they wish, but you can’t leave, and you never can until I take down the shield.”
“You can’t keep me here,” I growled, trying so hard to summon the assertive confidence that was far too familiar to me just a few minutes prior.
“I can, and I will. Letting you leave was a mistake I made before that I am not making again. Not until we get to the bottom of some things.”
“You will not keep me here, Twilight Sparkle,” I answered again, more force working its way into my shivering words. “We agreed that if I lost the duel, I would leave Ponyville, and never return. You are reneging on the terms of our agreement, now let me out!”
“Nice try,” she responded, voice as dry and calculative as when she’d first arrived. “First of all, such agreements aren’t even legally binding in Equestria anymore. Nopony has the authority to banish another equine citizen from their home or any city except the executive body of the local government. In other words, only Mayor Mare could actually make that call. Second of all, even if the terms of the duel were valid, they were rendered void when you allowed me to return for that second duel. Furthermore, I don’t recall you making any new terms or reinstating the old ones when you agreed to the second duel. So there is no real reason why you have to leave."
"Your nonchalance is unsettling- why aren't you angrier than this?"
“Because, while I am angry, Trixie, I am not about to let my anger cloud my judgement. Do you know what some of the ponies think back in that town? They think you are as bad as Discord or Nighrmare Moon. They thought you were a thrwat to them. They think you're evil, Trixi e. Despite what everyone in town thinks, I don’t think you’re evil. You’re mean, you’re a jerk, but you’re not evil. I want, no, need to know you Trixie. I need figure out how you came out to be the way you are and see if any of that can change.”
“Why does any of this even matter to you?” I asked, my voice trembling again, but with every emotion under the sun except the ones that could bring me any form of comfort.
“Because even though the things you did after duelling me was ultimately a result of the Alicorn Amulet, I know that you still had a motive for acquiring the amulet in the first place. You targeted me, Trixie, blamed me for the tarnishing of your reputation and career, which judging by your first arrival to my home, wasn’t that bright and sunny to begin with. Long–short, I want to set the record straight on some things between us, because while I don’t necessarily want to ban you from Ponyville or report you to the Princess, I also don’t want you coming back here again trying to maul me with a brainwashed pack of Timberwolves.”
“If you’re so worried about me coming back, why don’t you just take care of the problem yourself?” The tremble refused to leave as my voice lost all hint of force. There was no life left, no vigor. Twilight's voice also seemed to fall into similar circumstances.
“Because unlike you, I am not a vendetta–obsessed pony.” She sighed like she’d suddenly received a ton of lead on her back. Her head hung low and only now did her eyes begin to droop. “Look, it’s late at night, we’re all still tense, and you’re scared out of your gourdes. There’s nothing I can say that could possibly relieve your nerves, and frankly, I’m not in a position to try. Just...Try to get some sleep, alright? I’ll be by in the afternoon and we can get everything straightened out." Twilight spread her weary eyes to everyone by the dome before simply nodding and vanquishing herself back to her home in a purple flash.
And that quickly, the countdown to my life's finale began. By the time that pony was done mining my mind for information of my past, especially the weeks preceding my siege of Ponyville... I know this may seem like a broken record by now but you have to understand. In my circumstance and with that history, there was no hope.
As I was escorted back to the barn by Applejack and Rainbow Dash, I no longer had any will to fight. My escape mission had been a failure from the start. Now I followed my guards back to my holding cell, shackled by the chains of defeat and conformity, yielding to inevitability of my demise. My life was no longer in my hooves. It was in Twilight’s. Tomorrow, I would be tied to the guillotine, the sharp blade that would hang over my head glistening in the punishing heat of the all–revealing sun.
It was only a matter of when she would pull the switch.