Nopony looked up when Twilight Sparkle stepped into the dockside tavern. It was a dark, low-ceilinged place, crowded with figures covering the entire range from “shady” to “disreputable”. Twilight did her best not to let her nervousness show. You can do this, she told herself. You’ve read all about places like this.
Twilight resisted the urge to go through her saddlebags and dig out the note. She found its presence reassuring, even though she had read over and over, enough that she could recreate it entirely from memory.
My dearest, most faithful student, Twilight,
You know that I value your diligence and that I trust you completely, but you simply must stop reading those dusty old books! My dear Twilight, there is more to a young pony’s life than studying, so I’m sending you to join a crew of your choosing. It will do you good to supplement your education with some practical experience. You will need to become familiar with every aspect of running a ship before you are fit to take on my name and lead a crew of your own.
Sincerely,
The Dread Pirate Celestia, Scourge of the Seven Sea Ponies
If there was ever a place to find a pirate crew, this was it. Hisponyola was a haven for rogues and lowlifes of all sorts, and the Dead Mare’s Chest was the most infamous tavern on the island. Twilight scanned the crowd, searching the dingy tables for a likely-looking group of louts. There was no shortage of ponies, but Twilight wasn’t sure how to tell the pirates from the pickpockets, burglars, and vagabonds. Unless that pony—
Surely it couldn’t be—
It was!
Twilight cantered through the tavern to the table in the darkest corner. Half a dozen ponies and stranger creatures were clustered around it, laughing uproariously. Twilight waited for a lull in what passed for their conversation before approaching the unicorn who was unquestionably the group’s leader. The others at the table gave her a wide berth, which was no mean feat considering how crowded the tavern was.
“Um, excuse me?” said Twilight. “Captain Bluemane? My name is Twilight Sparkle. I’ve read all about your exploits, and I have to say I’m extremely impressed with what you’ve done. I’m actually looking to join a crew myself, and I’d be honored if you’d let me serve under you on the Great and Powerful. I have a letter of introduction from the Dread Pirate herself, as a matter of fact.”
Captain Bluemane turned and regarded Twilight coolly. Twilight smiled back.
Bluemane turned back to her crew. “Somepony deal with this fangirl,” she said. “Captain Bluemane has no time for such foals.”
Twilight’s hopes sank as one of Bluemane’s pirates, an enormous griffon, stood up.
And up.
And up.
By the Heavens, that thing was huge.
“Listen, dweeb,” said the griffon, “the captain’s trying to enjoy a quiet drink, so why don’t you buzz off?”
“Um, right,” said Twilight. “Only I really need to join a pirate crew, and yours is the best around, so I’d really like to talk to—”
The griffon reached for Twilight with a single enormous talon. “You’re dorkin’ up the seas, landlubber,” she said as she shoved.
Twilight tumbled backwards and crashed into a table, knocking it askew. A half-full flagon clattered to the ground beside her, spilling its contents everywhere.
“Hey! I’m drinkin’ here!” A hoof grabbed Twilight by the throat and lifted her up. Twilight found herself face-to-face with a blue pegasus pony. Her rainbow-colored mane was gathered into half a dozen long braids, and there was a peg in place of her left rear leg. “What’s the big idea, huh? Do I gotta beat some sense into you?”
Twilight tried to talk, but all that came out was a high-pitched squeak. She frantically pointed over the pegasus’s shoulder.
“Huh?” The pegasus glanced back and saw the griffon approaching with claws unsheathed. “Oh.” She released Twilight, who collapsed to the floor again.
“If it isn’t Dash Three-Legs,” sneered the griffon. “Outta my way. I gotta teach this dweeb here a lesson.”
“I shoulda known this was your fault, G,” said Three-Legs. “You spilled my drink. Nopony spills my drink.”
Nearby patrons began backing up. Some covertly reached for weapons.
“Yeah?” said the griffon. “You gonna do something about it?”
Three-Legs lunged forward. The griffon swiped at her with a giant talon, but Three-Legs beat her wings once and soared clear over the blow. She twisted and bucked, and the peg leg caught the griffon squarely in the chest. She went sprawling back and collapsed in a heap.
“Hah!” cried Three-Legs. “I’ll take you any day of the week, G! I’m the best fighter in the Ponish Main, and don’t you forget it!”
Captain Bluemane gestured. Four of the ponies at her table stood up. Two produced heavy clubs, and one drew a short, broad knife.
“Oh,” said Three-Legs. “Horsefeathers.” Then she said some things that Twilight had never read in a dictionary. She turned and flew away. As Bluemane’s pirates charged, Twilight took off after Three-Legs.
Three-Legs was fast. Faster than anypony Twilight had seen before. Her missing leg didn’t hold her back in the air, and the pirates had no hope of catching her. Twilight summoned her magic and teleported to the exit, reaching it just as Three-Legs did. The two of them spilled out onto the street together. Twilight was about to keep running, but stopped when she saw Three-Legs relax.
“Why are you stopping?” asked Twilight. “They’re right behind us!”
“Nah.” Three-Legs settled to the ground. “Pirate code. Streets of Hisponyola are neutral ground during the day.”
“Oh,” said Twilight. “That wasn’t in the books.”
“Yeah, the pirate code doesn’t really go in books. Who are you, anyway? How’d a lubber like you end up in the Chest?”
“My name is Twilight Sparkle. I’m looking for pirates, and the Dead Mare’s Chest is supposed to be the best place to find pirates.”
“Well yeah, it’s the only place with good booze and no lawponies. Well, good-ish booze. Well, it's alright. But why are you looking for pirates?”
“Right! I need to join a pirate crew.”
“Really?” Three-Legs eyed Twilight’s cutie mark. “Your special talent wouldn’t be navigation, would it? We just lost our navigator.”
“I’ve studied navigation, and that’s just as good. What happened to your last navigator?”
“Yeesh.” Three-Legs winced. “Poor Star Swirl. Wasn’t pretty. Anyway, you’re gonna want to talk to the captain. C’mon, this way.”
The two of them trotted off. “By the way,” said Three-Legs, “my name is—”
“Dash Three-Legs,” said Twilight. “I heard the griffon.”
Three-Legs bristled. “You don’t call me Three-Legs. Nopony calls me Three-Legs. You saw what happened to the last guy who called me Three-Legs.”
“Right,” said Twilight quickly. “Dash, then.”