//------------------------------// // A Shopping We Will Go // Story: Retired to Equestria // by Yet Another Mask //------------------------------// “-and thank you for the meal Ms. Sparkle. My compliments to the chef,” Damien said as he and Gilda left the library. “I’ll let Spike know you liked it,” Twilight responded with a smile. The day had gone rather smoothly after Pinkie and Gilda had made peace, giving Twilight and Damien several hours to discuss Equestrian history, folklore, and superstition. Twilight had been leery of the second and downright opposed to the third but Damien had insisted. She had been skeptical about the practical use of any of these things and Damien couldn’t fault her that. The unicorn magic systems seemed to be much more reliant on fact and procedure than tradition and belief. He smiled wickedly at that. He loved having an advantage that others didn’t understand completely and it seemed his brand of magic was a complete unknown in Equestria. Gilda’s time in the library had been a good deal less productive, a given since she was working with Pinkie of all ponies, but she had gained a good deal as well. As soon as Pinkie had decided that Gilda was sincere in her desire to be friends with Rainbow Dash and had elicited a half-heated promise to apologize to everyone she had been mean to someday she had started treating Gilda like an old friend. Not even Gilda’s angry nature was able to fully withstand the barrage of sheer happiness that was Pinkie on a good day. “You know, I think I almost saw you crack a smile back there in the library,” Damien said conversationally as they headed to the market to pick up groceries. “Yeah right. You were probably just seeing things,” Gilda huffed as she ruffled her wings. “I was seeing things. Namely you almost smiling.” Gilda glared at him. Damien laughed again. “Don’t be so sour my dear girl. It was a good look for you. Almost made ya look cute.” Gilda blinked in confusion at this before managing to gather her wits. “I am not cute,” she growled. “Not right now no but you have it in you. Really really deep down.” Gilda gave him a flat look. “Are you trying to flirt with me?” Damien looked surprised at the accusation, a look that quickly changed to thoughtfulness. “I suppose I am. Been quite a long time since I could be so relaxed around anyone.” Gilda cocked an eyebrow at this. “Not quite like that my dear. You are still far too abrasive for me to ever consider you a viable love interest. That and there’s the whole I don’t respect you as an equal thing. It’s just that everyone here is either weak or too good natured to be a threat. I haven’t been able to leave my house without someone or something trying to kill me in centuries! Meeting new people generally ended with me ordering the groundskeeper to dig a new grave. Everyone either feared or hated me.” His voice dropped and his face darkened. “The only surviving friend I had died five years ago. She was tired. Tired of living the way people like us did, tired of the running and fighting, the hiding and scheming. Tired of the fear and weariness.” A grim smile. “But she went out with a bang. Took down every single noble in an empire older than I am and reduced their greatest armies to a heap of broken bones and bloody flesh. A truly amazing woman.” Gilda felt herself involuntarily shudder as Damien spoke. It was the same feeling as when he had threatened her in the clearing, a feeling that whoever or whatever Damien is wasn’t something to be trifled with. “You’re making that up,” Gilda said far more quickly than she meant to. In a flash Damien the unfathomable monster was gone and Damien the freak was standing in the road again. “Perhaps I am, perhaps I’m not. You’ll just have to decide that one for yourself.” He chuckled and walked over to a nearby stall to look at the produce on display. Gilda was left in the street wondering what exactly to do. Most of the advice Pinkie had given her about becoming friends with Dash again seemed to have boiled down to being nice to ponies. Or as she had put it ‘stop being such a meanie silly!’ She grimaced as she looked around the market. Did that pink loser really expect he to play nice with all these ponies? Griffons did not play nice. Damien does and look at him, some treacherous part of her mind whispered as Damien chatted up the pony at the carrot cart. The two were laughing easily as Damien inspected the carrots. “He’s just a freak,” she muttered to herself, a sentiment that was only reinforced when he dumped several large carrots into his tiny satchel where they vanished without a trace. “G-Gilda?” a voice asked from behind her. Gilda turned to the speaker ready to yell at them when Pinkie’s admonishing words echoed in her mind. Nice. Right. I can do that. If these loser ponies can do it there’s no way I can fail. “Yeah, that’s me. What do you want?” she asked curtly. Not exactly the paragon of niceness but a good deal better than what she was originally going to say. “Ummm, you… you don’t recognize me?” the yellow pegasus asked timidly. Gilda narrowed her eyes at the pegasus. Yellow coat, pink mane, annoyingly trying to hide behind oh sweet Orion it was Fluttershy! “Fluttershy?” Gilda asked hesitantly. “Y-yes,” she squeaked. Gilda couldn’t believe she hadn’t recognized Fluttershy. The two of them had never been close by any means but when someone helps bandage you and your flight buddy up every other day you should learn to recognize them. “It’s… it’s been a while,” Gilda said awkwardly. “I haven’t seen you for years.” “A-actually…” Fluttershy’s voice trailed off into an indistinguishable mumble. Gilda’s eyes widened as she remembered something Pinkie had said the in the bakery when they had first run into each other. ‘Not until you promise to apologize to Fluttershy and Dashie and everypony you were a meanie to’ she had said. She had mentioned Fluttershy. Last time she had been here she had done something to Fluttershy. “I… didn’t happen to run into you last time I was here… did I?” she asked hopefully. “W-well, I kinda bumped into you and, um, you may have… yelled at me… a little.” She hid even further behind her mane if such a thing were possible. Gilda closed her eyes as the memories came flooding back. The yellow pony that had bumped into her at the market last time, the one that she had yelled at, had roared at. She hadn’t recognized her at the time, the Fluttershy Gilda had known was a gangly long limbed thing with no more muscle that a filly half her age and fragile enough that even the smallest amount of bullying would shatter her. Gilda knew full well that she was somewhat of a bully didn’t have the lack of heart necessary to do anything to Fluttershy. They sure hadn’t been friends, “Uhh, look. Fluttershy. I’m… I guess I’m kinda sorry about, well… yelling at you and junk last time I saw you. And for, uh, not recognizing you,” she finished lamely as she scratched the back of her head self-consciously. “That’s okay.” Fluttershy’s eyes darted back and forth as though trying to decide what to do next. “Have you made up with Dash yet?” Gilda was silent for a moment as she fought down her anger at Dash having been brought up by yet another pony. “No,” she said finally. “Oh! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up and-“ “Don’t apologize… It’s okay,” Gilda replied tiredly. Why did dealing with Fluttershy always make all her anger just vanish anyway? “Miss Fluttershy?” a nearby stall keeper asked. “Y-yes?” “Your birdseed is ready.” The mare gestured at two large bags of seeds that sat on the counter of the sturdy stall. “Thank you very much,” Fluttershy replied weakly as she started to maneuver the bags onto her back. Gilda watched the transaction with a sigh before grabbing both bags from Fluttershy. When met with Fluttershy’s confused but thankful look she rolled her eyes. “I’m just paying you back for all the times you helped bandage up me and RD. It’s a griffon thing.” “Already putting Pinkie’s advice to the test?” Gilda nearly dropped the bags at the sudden appearance of Damien. She was about to shoot back an acidic reply when she realized that he was right. This being nice stuff was a lot easier than she thought it would be. Not that she thought it would be difficult mind you. Damien laughed at the shifting expressions on Gilda’s face and turned to face Fluttershy. “I’m glad to see that there’s at least one pony out there that can make Gilda behave. Mind letting me in on your secret?” Fluttershy’s eyes widened as she tried to both protest having done anything and simultaneously manage to raise her voice to an audible level in front of a mostly unknown griffon. Even with his magical enhancements Damien was just barely able to make out the gist of Fluttershy’s response. Dismissing the meek mare as a lost cause he turned to Gilda. “Since you seem to be otherwise occupied I’ll finish up this little shopping trip myself me dear. Is there anything in particular that you want to have around the house?” “Apples,” she said after a few moments. “Excellent!” Damien turned to Fluttershy. “Make sure she plays nice with others and get her back before sunset,” he said with a mischievous grin that brightened when he saw the tiny twitch of a smile on Fluttershy’s face and the scowl on Gilda’s. “And remember girl, don’t be a meanie.” He laughed again as slipped into the crowd and away from an angry swipe of Gilda’s talons. “Ummm, you don’t have to help me. I can do fine on my own,” Fluttershy said softly. “No. Like I said, it’s a griffon thing.” She looked down at Fluttershy. “Don’t think you could carry this around anyway.” “Oh… Th-thank you very much.” “So how much more crap you need?” Fluttershy blushed at the slight profanity. “W-well I need some more carrots for the bunnies. And the bears need some honey. Oh! And the ferrets-” “I get it. You need to get a lot of stuff right? How were you even planning on getting it all to your house anyway?” Fluttershy balked at the direct question and looked at her hooves. “I was going to make several trips.” Gilda sighed. “Good thing I’m here then. Let’s get moving.” <-[XXXXX]-> Rainbow Dash had been following Gilda and Damien ever since they had left the library. She had been planning on tailing them, or rather Gilda, all day but her bed had been so comfortable that she had ended up sleeping until lunch. Now though, now she was ready to keep an eye on Gilda. Perched up on a cloud she had pried loose from her home she lay down to wait and watch. One thing Dash hadn’t realized about observing someone was just how boring it could be. Nearly five minutes had passed and absolutely nothing had happened! Oh no! Damien was buying carrots! The horror! Oh no! Gilda was standing around DOING NOTHING! Dash groaned in frustration. Why couldn’t this be like those cool police stakeouts they always talked about in Manehatten? Dash’s eyes glazed over for a moment as she imagined herself catching Gilda red-handed and her flying off. The only person fast enough to catch her? Rainbow Dash. She smiled as her little fantasy continued growing into a full blown action story. Just as Dash was getting to the part with the bomb in the weather factory she realized she had gotten completely off track. She quickly refocused her attention to the ground beneath her in time to see Gilda turn to Fluttershy. Dash tensed up, she remembered Pinkie telling her all about how Gilda had terrified Fluttershy. That had been the last straw in Dash’s mind. How Gilda could make Fluttershy of all ponies cry, especially after all the times she had played nurse to the self-destructive duo, Dash had no idea. She stared down at the two, ready to fly down to comfort Fluttershy and confront Gilda in an instant. What she saw instead was what she felt was probably one of the most awkward conversations she had ever witnessed. She blinked in disbelief as Gilda actually seemed to be acting… well not nice but at least agreeable. Dash growled in confusion as the two continued to talk, it may not have been the smoothest conversation but with Fluttershy involved it was about what one would expect. The conversation continued in the same awkward fashion until a stall keeper said something and presented Fluttershy with two large bags. Dash’s eyes widened in surprise as Gilda reached out and took the bags from the struggling pegasus. She watched in amazement as Gilda… helped Fluttershy shop? Dash pushed his hiding spot along high above Gilda and Fluttershy as they continued through the marketplace. Neither of them seemed to inclined to chat after they started shopping. Fluttershy would stop at each stall and Gilda would pick up what was needed. Despite such promising signs Dash couldn’t help but still feel suspicious about her. A determined glint in her eyes she continued to shadow the pair through the marketplace. <-[XXXXX]-> Hundreds of feet below Rainbow Dash another stalker was shadowing her target. Unfortunately she was having far less luck remaining unnoticed. This was due, not to any level of incompetence on her part, but solely to who she was trying to shadow. Lyra knew Damien knew she was there. She also knew that he knew she knew he knew. She wasn’t really sure how far this recursive cycle went but the first two passes were enough to set the tone for her task. She was going to follow him and hope he slipped up. He was going to shop and do his best not to slip up. It was only a matter of time. It wasn’t the first time she had kept someone under surveillance for a while. Although it was the first time she had to keep a griffon under surveillance she didn’t think it would make much of a difference. The wings would be a problem but as long as she kept the usual pegasus surveillance methods in mind he wouldn’t be able to lose her. With a grim smile and seemingly boundless determination Lyra settled in for the long haul. <-[XXXXX]-> Lyra was bored. She knew there were ponies out there that like to haggle but this was ridiculous. Damien seemed to spend at least five minutes at each stall just checking the quality of what he was getting, then at least another five haggling with the stall owner. At the last stall he had spent nearly ten minutes haggling with Applejack on just how much of a discount he could wring from her by buying in bulk. Of course after he had gotten an entire basket of apples he had shoved the entire thing into the satchel at his side. Lyra had to try harder and harder each time to suppress a groan of confusion at its existence. Although such enchantments weren’t unheard of they were exceedingly rare and expensive. But most of all they were only used and useable by unicorns. Sure humans would sometimes show up with magic of their own but it always ended up conforming to whatever they had been turned into by the universal barrier. To make things worse unlike when a unicorn used their magic she couldn’t sense anything when he used the satchel. She rolled her eyes as he padded from Applejack’s cart over to the next one down the line filled with ornate jewelry. What could he even want from jewelry anyway? It was almost like he was taking as long as he could in order to make her give up. She snorted and gritted her teeth. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had tried to get her to lower her guard like that. She hadn’t fallen for it before and wouldn’t do so in the future. As Damien began to haggle with the shopkeeper over the price of a small simply adorned bracelet Lyra let her mind wander over what few things she had managed to learn about him. He was financially secure, something they had assumed before when he had managed to purchase a house. It was impossible to tell just how much money he had due to his satchel’s space warping attributes but despite his haggling he didn’t seem very concerned about spending money. Almost as though the haggling was part of a larger game he was playing. However he never made the first bid on what to pay for the item. A sign that he hadn’t worked out the relative value of goods in Equestria? Although that could be attributed to him being a griffon. She scowled angrily. Things that would have normally been the clincher as far as proving he was from another world were made useless by simply being able to blame it on him being a griffon. Didn’t understand Equestrian? Griffons had their own language, or rather languages if the rumors were to be believed. Didn’t understand local politics or economics? Griffons had an entirely different governing system and the economic climate was never the same in any two places. Able to use some sort of strange magic she couldn’t sense? He’s a griffon. She didn’t know anything about griffon magic! He slid the bracelet into his satchel and thanked the shopkeeper, by name no less, and went on to the next stall. Lyra sighed in relief as she noticed that after this he would have checked out every single stall in the market and would have to do something else. She rubbed her hooves together in anticipation of him actually doing something different. Eventually he dug out his bits and took his latest purchase. He turned to face her and grinned before turning around and running away full tilt. Damien was having fun. It seemed to be becoming a trend for him today. From the bank to the library to the market and now the fun he was going to doubtlessly going to have with Lyra. He zipped around a corner and leapt up into the air, his wings beat once to give him the extra lift needed to land on the simple thatched roof. Once there he hunkered down to obscure himself as much as he could from the street below. As expected Lyra came charging around the corner mere seconds later, her head whipping both back and forth to see where he had ran and scanning he sky in case he had flown. It was then that she did something Damien hadn’t expected. Her horn glowed with the bright light that he had come to associate with unicorns working their magic but instead of the usual heavy-handed spell work he had come to associate with them a much more delicate working was taking place. He cursed his lack of foresight for judging the entire sub-species and their magic by the few spells he had felt them cast. A bright teal orb suddenly detached itself from her horn and flew unerringly towards where Damien lay. Lyra looked surprised that he had hidden himself so close but quickly calmed down. “I know you’re up there Damien. Why don’t you come down so we can talk?” “Bah, you win this round Lyra,” Damien called back as he stood up and leapt down from the roof. “What exactly do you want to talk about?” “I want to know where you came from and why you’re in Ponyville.” “Ah, being blunt today are we? Nothing at all like you were at the party last night. Well, you did catch me I’ll answer one question truthfully. Ask wisely,” he chuckled. Lyra quickly schooled away the shock at the revelation that he had noticed them at the party and his sudden gift of a single answer. “Only one questi-” she stopped herself as she realized what she was about to say. “Ha! You’re much better than the last, oh… hundred maybe? People I’ve given a boon like this.” He grinned fiercely. “But are you good enough to ask the right question?” Lyra carefully pondered what to ask. What he was? He could just say he was a griffon. If asked where he came from he could just say the Everfree or even his house. She would have to make sure that her question was specific enough to force an actual confession. Her eyes lit up as she came up with what she wanted to ask. “What species of creature were you two weeks ago?” she asked with a grin. Damien answered her grin with one of his own. “Two weeks ago I was a griffon.” Lyra’s confidence shattered as he said this. “What?” “Two weeks ago I was a griffon.” His smile grew. “Better luck next time my dear.” With that he flared his wings and shot into the sky, leaving behind a very angry and confused unicorn. <-[XXXXX]-> Twilight was pouring over a thick book on griffon culture and psychology when Bon Bon entered the library. She was so engrossed in the text that she didn’t even notice her customer until Bon Bon coughed politely. “Oh! I’m so sorry Bon Bon, I got caught up in reading this books, fascinating stuff really, and I was in the middle of trying to figure something out and-” Bon Bon chuckled. “It’s okay Twilight, I understand. No need to worry.” Twilight was visibly relieved at Bon Bon’s understanding. “Thanks. Uh, can I help you find anything today?” “I was actually looking for something on griffons, their culture, behavior, history, and pretty much anything about them actually. Twilight’s eyes lit up in the same way they always did whenever somepony was looking for a book of any kind. “Well we don’t have many books on griffons here, not the most popular or applicable subject this far into Equestria. Although with Damien and Gilda here that might change.” She put her hoof to her chin as she pondered what books she had available. “There’s ‘A History of Border Skirmishes’, but that one is mostly military history about Equestria’s dealings with the more militant city-states. ‘Beasts of the North’ is really old and very prejudiced against griffons, dealing more in slander than actual facts. You’ll find a little about griffons in most of the history books, but not much more than footnotes.” She closed her eyes in concentration. “And I… think… we might have a few travel books somewhere in storage about a couple of the more cultural city-states but that’s it.” “What about the one you were reading?” Bon Bon asked as she looked at the book in question, ‘A History of Griffons: Culture and Castes’. “Oh, that,” Twilight said with distaste. “I’m not sure you can trust it. I was reading up on griffons after Gilda and Damien visited today but the book says that only certain, very rare, griffons called manes can use magic. They’re very distinct for having a ‘mane’ of feathers much like that of a male lion that glows softly whenever they use magic. They also supposedly never leave the city-states because they are treated like royalty and are always given positions of power.” “And that means you can’t trust it?” Bon Bon asked, confusion apparent in her eyes. “Well I thought I could before but today I saw Damien cast a spell to…” She blushed immensely at the memory. “Take a picture of… something.” She shook her head and gave Bon Bon a strong ‘don’t ask’ look. “But he didn’t look anything like the mane in the picture and exhibited none of the usual signs. No fancy feathers, glowing or otherwise. If the book is wrong about that what else could it be wrong about?” Twilight’s eyes widened in sudden panic. “What if my other books are wrong about things!? I might have to completely relearn everything about the neo-classical era because one of my books is wrong about when-” “Calm down Twilight! I’m sure none of your books are wrong.” Bon Bon placed a calming hoof on the hyperventilating unicorn’s shoulder. “Damien is probably just a fluke.” “A fluke! There aren’t any flukes! Everything can be-” “Pinkie Pie.” Twilight stopped dead in her tracks. “You think Damien is a griffon version of Pinkie Pie?” “Well not in the partying sense but in the does weird things nopony can explain sense.” Twilight calmed visibly as she thought this over. Her books were still all correct, they just didn’t account for the occasional unique individual that defied the normal rules. She’d still have to figure out what rules Pinkie and Damien actually followed but it gave her a starting point for her understanding to begin at. “Thanks Bon Bon, I was starting to get worried for a while there.” “No problem Twilight, glad I could help.” She turned to the door and started to leave. “Wait! Didn’t you need a book on griffons?” “I think I already found out everything I needed to know,” Bon Bon called back as she left the library, a sly smile on her face. Twilight stared at the door as it swung shut. Why did ponies have to be so hard to understand?