//------------------------------// // Brown Betty // Story: The Evil Juice // by Detectivefish //------------------------------// Rarity was at heart, a good pony. This could not be doubted. She was loving, supportive, and of course, generous, if occasionaly prone to bursts of over-dramatic emotions. But when the chips were down, Rarity would willingly throw herself into the fray for a friend. With that, and her good nature assured, it should still be established that Rarity was, regrettably, of a one-track mind. Which meant when Applejack had appeared on her doorstep not five minutes before, telling Rarity she required help, and with Rarity only just awake, she honestly, and with no malice in her heart, had assumed the farmpony needed help with her hair and her hat. "Land's sakes, girl. Mah mane is exactly how ah want it!" Applejack said, knocking away the hairbrush and hairdryer the fashionista had lifted toward her, while at the same time shooting almost Stare-level filthy looks at some ribbons floating toward her. "Well" Rarity said. It obviously wasn't the most constructive response to make, but she'd only been awake for half an hour (although to Rarity, one wasn't truly awake until they'd washed their hair and had their morning tea), "Why did you arrive on my doorstep asking for my help then?" Applejack looked around furtively. She wasn't entirely sure if going to Rarity first had been the best solution, but she was at Rarity's, and she was going one step at a time. She was also thinking of ways to get back at her big brother. Hide-tanning was too good for him now, she thought. "Because... ah have a problem. Or ah'm going to have a problem, and I'll need your help with it" she said, solemnly. For a moment Rarity looked shocked. Then she passed into flattered. "Me?" Applejack nodded. "Help? You?" she said slowly, mulling over each word. "With what?" Applejack shuffled. "Well, ah have this... aunt, y'see. An' her name is Brown Betty. Now, don't get me wrong, she's a good pony, and she is smart, but... at the same time..." she bit her lip. "Y' know how every family has at least one really weird pony in it?" Rarity wasn't sure if her family had any 'weird' ponies in it, but she nodded nonetheless. "Well, Brown Betty is the weird pony of the Apple Family. And considering what my great-grand uncle Derrek used to do..." Applejack trailed off, remembering a private sin of an Apple family member too ludicrous for publication anywhere. "Y'see, Brown Betty went to college," Whatever Applejack was about to say next was cut off by the sheer force of Rarity's glower. "Applejack, I will not stand for that. Simply because a pony chooses to enrich themselves via further education does not mean they are 'weird' or deserving of scorn. Whatever deed you wish for me to aid you against this pony, you can just... forget it!" For a moment, there was silence, save the very distant sound of a cat cleaning herself. "Yah didn't let me finish" Applejack said, calmly, "An' while she was at college, she... experimented-" Rarity glowered again. "Oh? Indeed? I thought you were better than that, Applejack-" "Fer pete's sake! Not that kinda 'experimenting', Rarity! An' even if she had ah wouldn't care!" The designer looked suitably chastened. "You ain't fully awake yet, are ya?" Rarity shook her head. "So, experimenting with what, then?" "Experimenting with... chemicals, 'n the like. She's the member of the Apple family in charge of designing cider mixtures, an' such." Applejack paused. "What?" Rarity asked. "Oh, sorry, though you were about to yell at me again. Anyways, the problem is that she may have, on occasion, been a bit careless with what she was puttin' in her mixtures, and... well, is not really allowed off the ranch very much, on account of bein' nuttier than Pinkie Pie on a sugar rush." Rarity silently raised an eyebrow at this. "And she's coming to Ponyville" Applejack said, her voice leaden and cold, "An' ah need your help in making sure she doesn't meet Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash" Rarity opened her mouth to ask what was so dangerous about that, and then remembered Rainbow Dash's usual behaviour during the annual cider seasons, even though the mare never managed to get any cider, or perhaps that was the problem, now that she gave it some thought. "I can see why Rainbow Dash might be a problem. She'd be perfectly willing to help experiment with cider, but why is Pinkie Pie a problem?" "Because" Applejack sighed, "Pinkie always buys the most cider of everypony in town, even more than Berry Pinch, and she's always trying to help ponies, an' ah'm afraid if she an' Brown Betty meet, it'll end in chaos!" Rarity pondered this. "What possible harm could come from Pinkie Pie helping to make cider?" she asked, even though she'd in fact been present for Pinkie Pie testing out that strange device the mare had made that shot cake. It wasn't really a question of what harm could come from Pinkie trying to invent something, it was more what harm would come from Pinkie's attempts at inventing. "Alright, I'll help you. But... should we not ask Twilight Sparkle for help?" Applejack looked hesitant. "Ah dunno, Rare. Ah mean, I like her, she's a good kid, but... ah don't want her to feel that I need her help for every single problem that comes along, you know?" Rarity nodded. She hadn't known the young librarian from Canterlot for very long, but Twilight Sparkle seemed to have a knack for showing up when there were problems and... solving them. And now that she was giving it some though, this had been happening with unusual regularity since defeating Nightmare Moon. And why was Applejack calling her a kid when she was certain the studious unicorn was in fact older than her? "We should consider it a back-up option though." Applejack gave it some thought. "Fine. Now then, I'm gonna need you to do the more difficult task. Ah'm going to need you to keep Rainbow Dash busy" ***** Applejack had left Rarity to devise the means to which she would gain and keep Rainbow Dash's attention on her own, with the tacit understand that Rarity would get her own back on her for that, probably in a way that involved curlers, and possibly tail extensions. Meanwhile, the farmer's hooves took her direct to Sugarcube Corner, the workplace and residence of one Pinkamena Diane Pie. There was a whiff of fresh baking products, as there always was early in the morning, since the Cakes, the owners and proprietors of Sugarcube Corner, got up almost as early as the Apples in order to meet the breakfast rush. "Oh, good morning, Applejack" the thin yellow stallion beamed from behind the counter. "Mornin' Mister Cake. Sorry to be rude, but have y' seen Pinkie Pie around?" He tilted his head. "Not that I can recall, no. I think she might still be asleep. I could check, if you like." "No, ah couldn't be a bother. Not when you've got customers comin' in." "Oh, good morning, Applejack" came another voice, belonging to Mrs Cake. It was bit strange to some ponies how the married couple seemed to share thought processes. "Howdy, Mrs Cake. Ya haven't seen Pinkie Pie, have ya?" The mare looked thoughtful. "I think I saw her going to the train station to greet new arrivals. Is there a-" The reason she didn't finish was because Applejack immediately dashed off out of the door, leaving the two ponies to stare at each other. Any further concern was forestalled by the arrival of hungry schoolkids. ***** Rainbow Dash was sitting on a cloud, letting her eyelids droop and preparing to go to sleep after a hard morning of doing her job. She'd had the most incredible dream the other day of performing a trick so awesome, she'd not only been made Wonderbolt, but captain of the Wonderbolts, and then Princess Celestia herself had appeared and declared her the 'Coolest Pony Alive', before banishing the ponies who'd bullied her throughout her childhood to the moon. As she felt herself drift off, she hoped she'd have a dream as awesome as that o- "Rainbow Dash!" a voice from below called out. After a few seconds where she mentally cursed the pony below for breathing, she realised it was Rarity, and that she couldn't pretend she wasn't there since her tail was sticking over the edge of the cloud. "What?" she asked. "Could you come down here and talk to me for a moment?" Rarity asked. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, and decided not to yell back why the mare couldn't just talk to her from down there. "S'up" she said casually on landing. Rarity smiled an odd smile that she didn't like. "Well, you know how the other day I declared I would make dresses for everypony for the Gala?" Rainbow Dash blinked. She was missing sleep for dresses? "Yeah?" She asked slowly. "Well, I do require measurements of you to determine how to get the dress to fit" the fashion designer smiled a desperate, and slightly nervous smile. Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to point out she had already been measured by Rarity, and that she had a lot of sleep to be catching up on, but then she found herself being dragged along by the mare. 'It's alright, probably wouldn't have been much fun anyway' she sighed, mildly thankful that most ponies weren't actually up yet, so at least nopony was likely to see her being dragged to Rarity's shop. ****** Meanwhile, as Applejack rushed through town to reach the train station, two ponies walked through town, one a slightly elderly looking mare, in her fifties at the earliest, while the other was much younger, and probably only in her mid-thirties. The first, who was Applejack's aunt Brown Betty, stared at everything in wonderment, while the younger seemed content just to look at everything with mild suspicion, especially after seeing the bright pink mare screaming welcomes at almost everypony who'd stepped off the train. "Crisp?" Brown Betty spoke, turning to the younger mare, "Could we perhaps... see if anywhere around here sells cupcakes? It's just that I haven't had one in some time." "You had one just the other day. Actually, you had six. All of which you had said were in fact for me, Elizabeth" Apple Crisp sighed, and scanned the street they were on. It wasn't that she was angry at her mother, despite occasionaly being forced to sample whatever strange substances the mare concocted in her laboratory, more the fact that she had been assigned as legal guardian of Brown Betty over anypony else in the entire family. "And I think we should probably see where the relatives are first and-" she had turned around to see Brown Betty had vanished. She sighed wearily, in a way that would've suggested to anypony watching that this was almost routine. ***** Applejack reached the train station, and skidded to a halt when she saw the train beginning to pull out. Fear gripped her mind, which began to race with numerous possibilities of what could happen if her aunt, notorious for causing strange, even freakish events with her acts of science, met up with Pinkie Pie. She tried to calm herself, telling herself that for all she knew Pinkie Pie and her relative hadn't met yet. This did somehow translated into her repeating the word "No" over and over again as she rushed back toward town. ***** The door to Sugarcube Corner swung, and Pinkie Pie's ears perked up as she bounced over to the counter. "Hi!" she smiled at the mare staring around at everything with almost child-like curiosity, "Ohh, you're new to Sugarcube Corner, right?" She moved fast, quickly displaying a small piece of pastry. "Complimentary cupcake, one for every new pony in town!" The mare smiled. "Very kind of you." "I'm Pinkie Pie, what's your name?" she asked. The mare stared at her, and then nodded. "Oh, it's Brown Betty. Doctor Brown Betty." "Hope you enjoy your time in Ponyville!" Pinkie smiled, "Just let Pinkie Pie know if you need anything else. I just wanna see everypony smile." She gasped. "I gotta write that one down, be back in a minute!" she said, before rushing off into the back of Sugarcube Corner, leaving Brown Betty to slowly finish the complimentary cupcake.