//------------------------------// // Lying, Spying, and Trolling // Story: Guardians // by Pen Brush //------------------------------// It was a hectic three months for the princesses, dealing with all the complaints, some crime, and a few rogue griffons, but in the end they all sorted it out while Discord and Sombra helped out in any way they could. “That was fun...” Celestia grumbled, having finally found peace with all the griffons. “You didn’t have one of them bite your neck.” Sombra sighed rubbing his throat. “What is with everything that tries to hurt me going for my neck?” “The neck is the easiest way to kill things.” Luna said, not sleeping in the day for once. “Oh lovely.” Sombra said rolling his eyes. “I found it hilarious.” Discord interjected. “Discord, you find everything funny.” Celestia said, scowling at him. “Eeyup.” Discord said proudly. “You keep annoying and scaring the ponies with pranks, why do you keep doing that? Ponies keep coming to complain every day and wake me up!” Luna complained. “Because I find it absolutely delightful” Discord retorted “You need to calm down Discord or those weird necklaces are gonna zap you again.” Sombra said rubbing his forehead. “Yeah and you’ll be turned into a shadowy monster....” Discord deadpanned “That’s Nightmare.” Celestia joked. “Yeah! I may like the night and dark, but I am not a shadow.” Sombra said. “Ponies sleep during the night...” Luna said. “I can arrange that.” Discord said with a wicked grin, he snapped his fingers and fluffed up Sombra. “Stop doing stuff.” Luna said. “This is horribly uncomfortable in this armor.” Sombra said as he shifted a bit. “Oh my apologies.” Discord said snapping his fingers again and turning the armor into cotton candy. “No! my beautiful design!” Platinum yelled, running into the throne room. “And my only armor!” Sombra shouted. “You bitch!” “Oh calm down sombra.” Discord said snapping his fingers again and returning everything to normal. “Relax a bit.” “I can’t. I'm the captain of the guard.” Sombra said frustrated. “You are not the captain today, today is your day off.” Platinum said, smiling. “Yeah why don’t you go down to the meadery and get a drink?” Discord said smiling, this was a very bad sign. “Or I can bring it here.” “He is going on our first date with me actually.” Platinum informed Discord. “Oh well....in that case-” Discord began “Discord, you mess this up and I will have Luna turn you into a plushie and I will throw you in the river.” Sombra threatened. “I don’t like the spell anymore, its for fillies.” Luna sighed. “Doesn’t matter.” Sombra said shaking his head. “I made myself forget the spell.” Luna said. “Oh well, I am going to go get into something that isn’t metal. See you-” Sombra began. “No need!” Platinum said, using her magic to poof a tux on Sombra and put the armour next to the thrones. He blinked and looked at it before shrugging. “Less work for me.” Sombra said. “Lets go.” Platinum said, walking out the door. Sombra simply waved goodbye and headed out after her. “Oh this is gonna be hilarious.” Discord said with a twisted grin, he snickered loudly. “Yes, lets spy on them!” Luna said, looking at Celestia. “I guess we can go.” Celestia shrugged, getting up from her throne. “I have a spell we can use to change our shape so we can blend in, but you might not like it..." Luna said. “I’mma just do this.” Discord said with a snap of his fingers he was gone, well not really he was just invisible. “Whatever, I am going fly.” Luna said, changing her and Celestia into mini ponies, and accidentally changing Discord into one as well, unable to change him back. “I think you meant tiny ponies Luna, not fly.” Celestia muttered. “Well...we will look like flies since we are tiny, so its accurate!” Luna defended herself. “Discord, stop being invisible.” Celestia said, “We can't see you.” “Nope.” Discord replied with a whisper into celestia's ear. “Seriously, or I will make you stop being invisible.” Celestia threatened. “Fine.....But imma do this instead.” Discord said, he reappeared but this time as an exact replica of Celestia. “Wow my ass feels big.” “Ha ha ha funny.” Celestia said unamused. “laugh a little, jeez it’s like living in a funeral home.” Discord replied as he returned to his normal form. “Lets just go!” Luna said, flying off the huge floor and after the shadow of Sombra. “Killjoy.” Discord said before teleporting out of the room to Celestia knows where. Well actually she didn’t but you know what we mean. Celestia muttered something and teleported onto Sombra’s tux clad back with Luna. “Hi, no talking, listen to them.” Celestia whispered. “I feel itchy... Did something just touch me?” Sombra asked turning around. “What ya doin?” Discord said in a hushed voice, he had appeared out of nowhere as a butterfly “Its fine Somby, don’t pay attention to the itch and it goes away sweetie.” Platinum said, putting a hoof around Sombra’s neck. “Oh this is going to be hilarious.” Discord snickered as he raised his tiny hand to snap. “Oh look at the butterfly!” Platinum said, watching the butterfly. “AH!” Sombra shouted before slapping the butterfly in pure reflex. “Medic....” Discord groaned “Oh...you killed the butterfly...oh well.” Platinum said, walking over the butterfly and crushing it. “Sorry... Not used to things popping out of the corner of my eye.” Sombra said. “OW!” Discord shouted, he snapped his fingers and returned to a normal butterfly. “This is sort of funny...” Luna whispered. “Yes...” Celestia muttered. “Is it wrong that I find that slightly humorous?” Sombra asked. “What?” Platinum asked. “Oh nevermind. Let’s just go. Where are we going actually.” Sombra asked as he walked over to Platinum and stepping on Discord again before stepping off. “Ow, ow ,ow OW, OW OWWWWW!” Discord groaned as several more ponies stepped on him. He got up and snapped his fingers returning to a normal uncrushed butterfly. “Hmmm... Well we are going to a lovely little restaurant, it's right over there.” Platinum said, pointing a hoof to a small building. “She gonna get it.” Discord said, a shadow formed over him and he looked up to see a tabby cat. “Oh Bu-” Discord moaned as he was picked up by the cat and chewed on and then spat out. “Hahahahahaha!” Celestia said laughing. “Do you hear laughter?” Sombra asked looking behind him. “No I don't, stop thinking you hear things Somby.” Platinum said, walking over to him and kissing him on the lips. “Thats it, this means war!” Discord said. “Okay okay...” Sombra said smiling. “I think I have been working a bit too much.” “I know you have sweetie...” Platinum said, looking behind him, “You have some bugs on your back though, I’ll get them off.” Platinum started to pound on Sombra’s back to get the ‘bugs’ off as Luna and Celestia ran off Sombra and flew next to him to not get hit before getting back on his back when Platinum stopped and turned back around. “Ow...” Sombra muttered. “Oh well lets fix that.” Discord grinned as he shook himself back to normal. He snapped his fingers and Platinums horn went limp. “Hahahahahahahaha.” “Oh no! My horn!” Platinum cried looking at her horn. “Wha?” Sombra said blinking before scowling. In that moment the whole city shook “DISCORD!!!” “You rang?” Discord said forming out of nowhere but really he was under their hooves the entire time. Sombra calmy gestured his hoof for Discord to lean down. “Yes?” Discord looked down. Sombra gently put his hoof around Discord’s neck before whispering. “Discord, if you mess with this date anymore than you already have, I will literally turn you inside out and drown you in your own blood.” Sombra said. “Been there done that- Oh I mean okay.” Discord said. “My horn!’ Platinum said, hiding her horn with a hoof. “Got it.” Discord snapped his fingers and returned it to an even more marvelous horn than before. “Oh my...thank you I think.” Platinum said, smiling at Discord. “Yes, thanks. Now Discord, please leave before I am forced to kill my own kin.” Sombra said. “One quick eentsy weentsy thing.” Discord said. “Discord...” Sombra said warningly. “Good luck, Later.” Discord disappeared seconds later. Sombra let out a sigh of relief and shook his head. “I love and despise him.” Sombra said. “Aw thanks!” Discord said happily from Sombras ear. “I wish you away.” Platinum said, using her magic to teleport Discord back to the castle. “Look at me! I’m in Sombra’s tux pocket.” Luna whispered, before snuggling up in the pocket without Sombra noticing. “I swear if this night gets any more insane...” Sombra said rubbing his aching head. “Its ok Somby, lets just get into the restaurant and eat.” Platinum said gently, bringing him into the restaurant and made him sit at the table before sitting next to him. “Can I get you two something?” A White Earth pony in a grey stetson asked. “Daisy sandwich please.” Platinum said. “Of course ma’am and for the gentleman?” The pony asked, turning to Sombra. “Same but rose petals instead.” Sombra said. “An excellent choice sir. I will return in a moment.” The pony said before rushing off. “I’m squished between Sombra and the chair...” Celestia muttered before teleporting into the pocket with Luna, “This is safer I guess...” “So, how is your job going?” Platinum asked. “Fine fine. Just a few griffon rebels here and there. One tried to kill me.” Sombra said shrugging. “I heard about that, nasty griffon, what about that first one you captured and still have in custody since your sisters little...fight?” Platinum asked. “Oh he is still insane. We tried giving him back to the griffons, but they said he would cause more trouble there than here.” Sombra said shaking his head. “One guard keeps saying to put him on the gallows.” “Hmmm...and what happens with that?” Platinum asked as Luna kicked her back hooves in the pocket. Sombra fidgeted for a moment and rubbed the pocket for a second before going back to normal. “Sir your sandwiches.” The pony returned with the two sandwiches. “On the house captain. Don’t think I don’t recognise you. Please Enjoy.” The pony said before bowing. “Oh... Well thanks.” Sombra said smiling. “I’ll leave you two then.” The pony went away from the table and then turned into discord out of sight. He giggled. “Imma get you laid bro.” He said to himself. “Discord!” Luna whispered. “So, besides the gallows, what have you tried doing with the griffon?” Platinum asked. “LUNA!” Discord replied in a silent yell. “Oh the simple stuff. Talking to him, trying to befriend him, I even brought in a psychiatrist. He bit him.” Sombra said. “What do you expect a crazy griffon to do to a pony?” Platinum asked. “I mean the psychiatrist bit the griffon.” Sombra said plainly. “...Why would he do that?” Platinum asked bewildered. “I have no clue, but it calmed the guy down a bit.” Sombra said shrugging. “Cause I told him too.” Discord snickered, appearing in Sombra’s pocket. “Nice...” Celestia muttered sarcastically. “Why is my coat pocket, slightly heavy all of a sudden?” Sombra thought out loud. “Stop worrying about the tux! It’s perfect!” Platinum yelled before chewing her sandwich. “Okay?... Right.” Sombra said shrugging and taking a bite of his food. “Luna, stop kicking!” Celestia whispered. “I can’t help it! I need room!” Luna whispered back. “It is a pocket! They have no room!” Celestia whispered back as Discord laughed silently. “Um... Excuse me a moment, I need to go... Check something” Sombra said getting up and going to the restroom. “Bail.” Discord said before teleporting away. Luna and Celestia teleported away next to the restroom door and flew in the air, still tiny. Sombra just walked into the restroom and took off his coat before checking his coat’s pockets and sighing. “I swear. If anyone is messing with me, I am going to hurt them.” Sombra grumbled before putting his coat back on and heading out and back to the table. “Sorry, I was just making use of the facilities.” “Its ok Somby.” Platinum said, swallowing the last of her sandwich as Luna, Celestia, and Discord teleported back to Sombra’s pocket, making themselves lighter so he couldn't tell. Sombra practically chomped the rest of his sandwich before sipping on his drink. He blinked at Platinum’s confused expression before smiling sheepishly. “Sorry, Hurricane trained me to eat extremely quickly.” Sombra said chuckling nervously. “Even though he was annoying...I still sort of miss him, he died to soon...” Platinum said sadly. Sombra nodded and put a hoof on her shoulder before sighing. “Don’t worry. He saved more than he lost.” Sombra said comfortingly. “I know, he still couldn’t save Puddinghead or Smart Cookie though.” Platinum sighed, remembering the earth ponies falling from the sky because of a broken contraption Puddinghead had made. “Yeah... But, let’s not dwell on the past Platinum.” Sombra said smiling. “Ok, lets not.” Platinum said, taking out some bits to tip the pony that had waited for them. “Let’s just leave them on the table, we still have a whole evening ahead of us.” Sombra said standing from his seat, and causing Luna and Celestia to have to hold onto the pocket to not fall out. “Ok.” Platinum said, kissing Sombra quickly before walking towards the door. Sombra just smiled and walked out with her before looking around. “Is there a problem?” Platinum asked, looking behind her to see what Sombra was looking at. “Nothing, so what is next on the agenda, or do we just make our way from here?” Sombra said smiling. “I don’t know, I was wondering if you would like to just stand on a bridge and look out over the water with me.” Platinum said. “That sounds lovely.” Sombra said nodding. “Wow...” Luna muttered, kicking a little in the pocket again as Sombra and Platinum started to gallop. “This is just getting ridiculous, why did I agree to this?” Celestia whispered as she and Luna started getting knocked up and down inside the pocket from the force of Sombra’s galloping “It would be fun?” Luna asked as Sombra finally stopped moving and sat down, forcing them to fall deeper in the pocket to the bottom. “Ya...fun.” Celestia said, trying to get off her back and out of the fold of the pocket unsuccessfully. Luna laughed and helped her up, before sticking her head out of the pocket to look at what Sombra was seeing. “It’s beautiful isn't it?” Platinum said, looking over to Sombra as Luna lifted her head over the lip of the pocket. “Yeah...” Sombra said smiling. Luna’s eyes caught sight of the beautiful, crystal clear, blue water as it stormed it’s way down the canal that it was being held in to be free in the outside water that was beyond the city’s gates. “I like the country’s view a bit better, but this is a close second.” Platinum smiled and looked out over the water. “I’m happy you agreed to be my special somepony, Sombra.” She said, turning back to look at him. “Same goes for me.” Sombra said smiling happily. “I just hope Discord doesn’t comes back. He has a tendency to ruin things that make him ‘Gag’.” “I bet he does, he wouldn't be one for sweet things.” Platinum said. “Unless you mean candy or cake.” Sombra said chuckling. “Ya, except for those.” Platinum said. “I have to sneeze!” Luna whispered urgently to Celestia as she stopped looking over the pocket. “Hold it.” Celestia advised. “Not easy when the inside of this is all dusty because of his running and the dirt gets in your eyes!” Luna whispered back. “Close them.” Celestia said, Luna sighed and closed her eyes, keeping her ears up. “So how is your job going Platinum? Can’t be easy since the others are... Gone.” Sombra said meekly. “It’s fine, I still have Clover to help me with everything, and she still has visions, just not as much as she used to.” Platinum said, dismissing Sombra’s worry that he had said something wrong. “Oh. Alright, good.” He said smiling as he hugged her. “I am glad you are doing well. Lord knows I have been struggling here.” “We are being squished!” Luna whispered. “Shut up, he doesn't notice.” Celestia muttered. “Hmmm...thats interesting...” Platinum said as she pulled away from the hug. “What? Did I do something wrong?” Sombra asked starting to slightly panic. “No, its not you, there is something in your pocket.” Platinum said, pointing to the pocket. “Bye!” Celestia said, teleporting away to the castle. “Ah Ah AH CHOOO!” Luna sneezed from the pocket, unable to hold it. “What the!?” Sombra said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the miniature Luan and held a stoic expression. “Luna...” “This is Discord!” Luna said. “... Luna.” Sombra said again. “What is Luna doing here?” Platinum asked, looking closely at Luna. “Exactly what I would like to know.” Sombra said blinking. “I am a robot...fear me!” Luna said, making her voice sound robotic. “Luna, robots don’t exist here. Medieval times remember?” Sombra said starting to get annoyed. “I survived because I am small and changed appearances to fit.” Luna said. “What?... Just tell me why you were hiding in my pocket.” Sombra said shaking his head. “Setting lasers to kill!” Luna said, her eyes glowing red as she looked at Sombra. Sombra rolled his eyes and literally blew her over with a small puff of air. “Now stop being silly and actually tell me.” Sombra said. “You don’t want me to go on another one of my rants do you?” “I can’t undo the spell... my magic is small like the rest of me, and I liked your pocket.” Luna lied. “Riiiight. Next you are going to tell me the purple monkey is back.” Sombra said annoyed. “You saw him too!” Luna yelled, swinging around in Sombra’s hoof. “Luna... Stop being silly.” Sombra said. “Purple monkey?” Platinum asked. “Long story.” Sombra said waving his Luna free hoof dismissively. “Now Luna tell me the truth or I am going to put you in a box.” “I saw the purple monkey in your pocket.” Luna said. “Luna that monkey was as big as me, there is no way it could fit in my pocket.” Sombra said. “There is a way!” Luna said. “Luna! Be honest with me.” Sombra said a little frustrated. “I want to see the inside of a box.” Luna said honestly. Sombra took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. He practically glared at Luna for a moment before shaking his head. “If you aren’t going to tell me the truth, then go home Luna.” Sombra said plainly. “That’s kinda the problem actually, half of what I said is true, my magic doesn’t go long range when I’m small, watch.” Luna said, her horn glowing as she teleported away, only to appear again on Platinum’s head. “Hello...” Platinum said, looking up. “Hi!” Luna said, waving. “Then I will walk you home. Come on Luna.” Sombra said picking Luna up with his magic and putting her on his head. He walked over and kissed Platinum before walking away. “I am sorry about this, but I really have to take her home! I will see you tomorrow alright?” “It’s fine, I understand!” Platinum said, “See you tomorrow.” Platinum said before walking the other way. Sombra sighed and looked up at Luna with a bit of anger in his eyes. “You know I am not happy with you right now.” “Yes.” Luna said. “And you know I am going to punish you in someway correct?” Sombra said. “It was Discord’s idea, he made me do it, and Celestia as well.” Luna shrugged. “Then you are all going to be punished. Simple as that.” Sombra said looking ahead. “You can’t punish the princesses, and I don’t think Discord will be able to get punished...” Luna said, sitting down thoughtfully. “Oh ho! You’d think that!” Sombra said laughing loudly. “Discord wanted to see what you were doing, he was that butterfly you killed, he wants to kill you.” Luna said. “Shouldn’t have intruded then. He knows I like my privacy.” Sombra said shrugging. “And it’s not like he can actually get killed.” “He can get killed...we all can get killed Sombra.” Luna said, going upside down to look him in one of his eyes. “Yes, but it’s going to take a lot of firepower to just take one of us down.” Sombra said laughing. “Not really.” Luna said. “Oh stop being like me. I am the pessimistic one.” Sombra said. “I can be pessimistic if I want to be, I am the moon!” Luna exclaimed, putting her front hooves in the air before falling onto Sombra’s nose. “Yeah, I can see that.” Sombra said chuckling. “You should start dating Luna.” “Why would I do that?” Luna asked, standing up and turning to look into his eyes. “Cause it’s nice to have someone you love to be around you! Not to mention you always have someone to talk to.” Sombra said smiling. “We are going to live longer than them, they won’t live as long as us, so I don't see the point, we have each other to love.” Luna shrugged. “Luna, it’s not their life span that you should look at, it’s who they are! I mean look at that happy couple right there.” Sombra said pointing to a pair of happy ponies. “They know that this isn’t going to last long, so they are making every second count.” “They know that they will die together, we will live longer than them and feel sadness, knowing we can die but don’t want to.” Luna said, jumping back onto Sombra’s head and lying down into his mane. “Luna, it’s not that they are going to die, it’s if you remember them or not. I know Platinum is going to eventually pass, but am I worrying about that? Nope!” Sombra said shaking his head so Luna landed on his nose again. “Just take my advice and at least look around.” “I thought big brothers were supposed to stop their sister from dating. I don’t want to date anyone and you can’t make me!” Luna yelled, jumping back onto his head. “Oh? Is that so?” Sombra said. “What if I found that perfect guy? That one pony who adores the night? Has your same likes and dislikes? Everything about him, you would love?” “I would be creeped out and think he only cares about me because I’m a princess, I am not dating anyone!” Luna stated, lying down into his mane. “Little sisters. Stubborn like mules.” Sombra chuckled. “You’re supposed to discourage me from dating.” Luna muttered. “Oh believe me, if you find a guy who is a total dick, I am tossing him out the window.” Sombra said protectively. “There is one pony I like...” Luna admitted. “Oh reeeeally?” Sombra said using his magic to put Luna on his shoulder. “Spill, who is it?” “Blue hoof, he is nice!” Luna said. Sombra stopped moving and slowly moved to look at Luna before blinking. “Blue Hoof.... Tall, green fur, Earth pony?” Sombra asked. “Is there another Blue hoof?” Luna asked, tilting her head. “Possibly. Is the one you are talking about whiny, inconsiderate, infuriating, and down right rude in every way imaginable?” Sombra asked grinding his teeth. “He is tall, he does have green fur and he is an earth pony, but you don't have to be mean and say those things about him.” Luna said, ruffling her feathers angrily. “Luna, know that guy I told you about the other day about the pony that was extremely rude and annoyed Celestia?” Sombra asked. “Ya.” Luna said. “That was him.” Sombra said plainly. “LIES!” Luna screamed, jumping up Sombra’s mouth. “Mmphmpmhpmh...” Sombra mumbled as Luna climbed his face until she got past his lips. “Can you stop climbing on my face please?” “Put me in the box.” Luna said, sitting on his muzzle as she looked at where they were going and not at him. “Are you mad at me now?” Sombra asked. “Put me in the box!” Luna said. “Luna that was an empty threat. I have no box, now just look at me and say that you are angry at me.” Sombra said. “No.” Luna said. “So you aren’t angry at me?” Sombra asked lifting an eyebrow. “Yes.” Luna said. “Alright then, you wouldn’t mind actually looking at me then.” Sombra said. “I would.” Luna said, standing up and opening her wings. “Then you are mad at me.” Sombra said using a bit of magic to close her wings and put her back on his head. “Just calm down a bit. Tell you what, you tell me where this Blue Hoof is and I will see if this is all a big misunderstanding. Deal?” “No.” Luna said, sliding down his head onto his back. “Fine, I will go there myself.” Sombra said shrugging and tapping the nearest pony on the shoulder. “Excuse me sir, where is Blue Hoof’s residence?” “A few miles out at a farm near a pegasus.” The pony said, pointing left, not noticing Luna on Sombra’s back. “Thank you very much.” Sombra said pulling out a few bits and handing them to him. “It’s been a pleasure talking to you.” “I hope you enjoy that annoying stallion.” The pony said taking the bits. “I will try.” Sombra said chuckling, then teleporting him and Luna to the small dirt road next to a certain Pegasus before he waved at said pegasus. “Hello over there!” “Am I in trouble with Celestia again?” The pegasus asked worriedly. “Am I in my royal armor?” Sombra chuckled. “No...” The pegasus said. “And that’s your answer. Just need to talk to Blue Hoof for a moment.” Sombra said smiling. “He isn’t home, he left somewhere.” The pegasus said shrugging, before going into his house. “Huh. OH well. To the castle then.” Sombra said shrugging and teleporting him and Luna to the castle and stretching a bit. “Castle sweet castle.” Luna didn’t answer but he could feel something sticky on his back. “Luna you okay back there?” He turned and found a small note on his back. He blinked and plucked it off before reading it. I hope you enjoy the note, I am going to look for something. ~Luna. Sombra just sighed and took the tux off before teleporting it to his room and heading to the throne room. “Hello Sombra.” Celestia greeted him. “You are in trouble missy.” Sombra said walking over and putting his armor back on. “Really? I’m older than you.” Celestia said laughing. “Says the mare who was sneaking around in my pocket to spy on me.” Sombra said as he put his helmet on. “Luna and Discord dragged me along, I didn’t really enjoy it.” Celestia said, waving her hoof dismissively, “Wasn't even listening or caring.” “You are still in trouble.” Sombra said as he finished strapping his armor on. “I am literally going to remove every ounce of cake from this city.” “Ok, that would do me good, where is Luna?” Celestia asked, not worried about Sombra’s threat but more for Luna. “Oh outdoing something. She got angry at me when I asked her to start dating then I found out she liked that prick Blue Hoof, and when I went to go show her how much of a jackass he was she must have hopped away.” Sombra said shrugging. “Have you checked your mane? It appears to be moving on its own.” Celestia said pointing to the part of Sombra’s mane that was sticking out of his helmet. “Buck!” Sombra’s mane yelled. “Luna... Is that you?” Sombra deadpanned. “Its her twin sister.” Luna said sarcastically. “That is what I thought.” Sombra said rolling his eyes and taking Luan out of his mane, with some mane pulling on her part, before putting her on his nose. “Didn’t think you wanted to sit on cold steel.” “I didn’t think you were going to squish me with cold steel.” Luna said simply. “Yeah well... Whatever. I still want to meet this... Nice Blue Hoof, alright? I will stop being mean about him.” Sombra said holding up his hoof. “Soldier’s honor?” “I was kidding, I just wanted you to stop talking about stupid dating.” Luna said, rolling her eyes. “Oh... Oh well.” Sombra said shrugging before turning to Celestia. “How about you, Tia? Any one you got your purple eye on?” “Why would I care about dating another pony if I am just going to leave them behind in the end?” Celestia asked, her eyes turning sad. “Christ, it’s like living in a funeral home!” Sombra exclaimed. “Am I the only one who thinks that love isn’t about how long a pony lives, but if you truly love them or not?!” “I know it isn’t about the life span of the pony, but I just don’t want to date anyone.” Celestia said shrugging. “Ugh, you are both cowards.” Sombra said shaking his head. “And your stupid for thinking you can think for a second that we would want to date!” Luna yelled, jumping on Sombra’s nose. “And you are a small pony. Small ponies get taken to their rooms to go to sleep.” Sombra said picking Luna up with magic and walking to the doors. Luna rolled her eyes and cancelled the spell, making her big again and outside of his magic. “And you didn’t do that earlier why?” “Now your the small pony.” Luna said, “I wanted to be carried.” “And you are still my little sister.” Sombra chuckled before walking back to the throne and standing at his post. “I am still worried about what poor soul Blue Hoof is being a jerk to now.” “He is probably nowhere.” Celestia said. “When is the school opening?” Luna muttered, walking to her throne and sitting down. “Why do you want it open so bad?” Sombra asked looking at her. “The crazy pony sent me a scroll after I sent a scroll saying he could be a teacher, and the scroll said the school was being made with magic.” Celestia said. “Well it is a school for Unicorns.” Sombra said. “Where is Discord?” Luna asked, not caring about the conversation anymore. “I saw him hanging from the ceiling a second ago.” Sombra said shrugging. That was the moment, Discord changed back to normal out from under Luna and laughing madly as she fell to the ground from her fake throne and screamed. Making Sombra fold his ears back and put his hooves over them. “MY EARS!” “I hate you!” Luna yelled at Discord as she stood back up. “Oh no you don’t.” Discord said as he lazily floated into the air. “Besides! It’s all in good fun!” “So was your idea to spy on Sombra! That got me in trouble!” Luna said. “I did nothing.” Celestia said simply. “Well to be fair, most of what I say is empty threats.” Sombra said shrugging. “Although I am rather disappointed with all of you. Not that it means anything, but still. My point stands.” “I still want to be in a box.” Luna said. “Why?” Sombra asked looking at Luna curiously. “I think it would be interesting.” Luna said simply, shrugging. Sombra shrugged as well before a large Cardboard box fell on top of Luna. “Happy?” Sombra said snickering. “Styrofoam! Can’t breath!” Luna yelled, her voice muffled. “Nice job.” Celestia said, rolling her eyes. “Oh hush you.” Sombra said as he magicked the styrofoam on to Celestia’s head and snickered. “There, breathing room.” “Actually, Luna just landed on me, she was in the styrofoam.” Celestia muttered as Luna walked out of the styrofoam, her coat and mane full of the pink stuff. “Snrk...” Sombra stifled his laughter. “I can’t see and I hate you now.” Luna said, looking in the direction Sombra’s voice came from. “Pfffft HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Sombra fell to the ground as he hacked up his lungs with laughter. “Grrr...” Luna said shaking the styrofoam off her as she used her magic to zap his flank with light blue lightning. He yipped and stopped laughing for a moment. “Ow... Still funny though.” Sombra said snickering while he rubbed the sore spot on his flank. “It isn't.” Luna said fuming, before walking out of the room. Sombra blinked and turned to Celestia. “What’s eating her?” Sombra asked. “You made fun of her.” Celestia stated. “But she was all covered in foam! That was funny!” Sombra defended. “It wasn’t funny for her.” Celestia said. “Oh please, she would have laughed if I got covered in styrofoam.” Sombra said rolling his eyes. “Maybe, but you still hurt her feelings, you also made her mad on the walk over while she was small.” Celestia replied, frowning a bit. Sombra sighed and just hung his head. “Why is it I am always messing up...” Sombra grumbled as he began to walk out of the room and go find Luna. “You don’t mess up, Luna is just over sensitive.” Celestia said. “Yeah, and if I was smart, I would take that into account before saying things wouldn’t I?” Sombra said looking at Celestia. “We sometimes forget that she is the youngest and still over sensitive, its no one’s fault Sombra.” Celestia said, trying to make Sombra feel better. Sombra just shook his head and walked out to go find Luna and see if she would toss him out a window in anger. After roaming the castle halls for a few minutes he saw her sitting in the middle of one of the hallways and walked over to her. “Hey, Lulu.” Sombra said walking over and sitting down. “Hi.” She replied, turning her head to look at him. “You mad at me?” Sombra asked hanging his head. “No.” Luna said shaking her head. “Really? With all the crap that I have teased you about today, you’re not mad.” Sombra said confused. “You only teased me about the styrofoam.” Luna replied. “And the dating, and the spying.” Sombra added. “I shouldn’t have spied on you and I have been thinking about what you said about dating.” Luna said, scratching the back of her head in through. “Really? After all that stuff about ‘NO we are going to outlive them!’ you are seriously considering it.” Sombra deadpanned. “What is with you and your emotions right now?” “You are hard to make happy.” Luna said frowning. “Sorry sorry, I am still a bit peeved about the date.” Sombra said rubbing his head. “Sorry, please continue.” Luna sighed and nuzzled Sombra before she continued, “You looked so happy with Platinum on the date and you had a point about not caring about the lifespan of a pony when you're dating, so I guess I could date someone...” Luna muttered. Sombra just chuckled and hugged Luna before nuzzling her back. “Well, I am glad that you think that way. There is one problem though.” Sombra said using one hoof to scratch his chin. “What?” Luna asked. “You pick the wrong guy and he is going out the window.” Sombra said smiling. “I was going to pick one of the guards.” Luna said shrugging. “Really? Been eyeing up my military have you?” Sombra said poking her side. “No.” Luna said, “I just think they seem like the ponies who aren't the wrong guys?” Luna said a little confused. “Well, I wouldn’t say they are the wrong guys, but just because they guard you and your subjects doesn’t mean they are going to treat you right Luna.” Sombra said hugging her a bit tighter. “Ok.” Luna said. “Look, I don’t care if you date a guard, hell! I would encourage it if it meant you would find that one good guy!” Sombra said smiling. “I just don’t want you to hop out into the world and say ‘Oh this guy looks nice!’. Not that you would, but you get what I mean.” “I do, I’m sorry for ruining your date.” Luna said apologetically. “Ah you didn’t ruin it.” Sombra said gently booping Luna’s nose. “You were angry when you left to take me home, so that counts as ruining your date.” Luna said smiling. “Actually, you more or less just ended it early. Not ruined it. Ruining it would be spilling soup on me lap and making me flip the table and run around screaming bloody murder.” Sombra said snickering. “That’s funny!” Luna laughed. “See? That is why I wasn’t angry. What you saw was frustration. You don’t want to see me actually angry.” Sombra said in a mock threatening tone before putting his nose against Luna’s. “You wouldn’t like me when I am angry.” Then he broke down in laughter. “I guess I wouldn’t.” Luna said, hugging him. “Oh thanks.” Sombra said rolling his eyes before getting a rather fiendish gleam in his eyes. “Oooh Luuuunaaaa...” “Yes?” Luna asked, worried about how he was saying her name. His horn lit up a moment before his armor appeared behind him and his fur puffed up like he just came out of the dryer and tackled her to the ground. “PILLOW NINJA!” He exclaimed as he flung both him and Luna to the ground. Luna smiled as he attacked her with fluffiness and laughed as they rolled on the floor to play. After a few minutes of just plain silliness and returning to their old long lost foal days, they stopped and laid on the tiling painting from all the randomness that usually ensues when ‘Pillow Ninja’ appears.