//------------------------------// // Firsts // Story: An Affliction of the Heart Volume Three: Hybrid // by Anonymous Pegasus //------------------------------// “So...” Kuno asked delicately, trailing a hoof along Warden’s wing slowly, nuzzling gently into the expanse of it. “When are you going to tell Swarm about Swarm?” Warden stirred faintly at that, shifting away from his wife before rolling over to face her, resting his nose against her own lazily. “I... I dunno. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell her. It’s kinda...  creepy, you know?” “Creepy?” Kuno asked, confused. “She’s named after her, she at least deserves to know who she was.” “Yeah... but how am I supposed to bring that up to her? I don’t think she’s old enough to understand. And she’s too old now to take it for granted that it’s not creepy. Like ‘Hey Swarm, hun, come visit your dad’s deceased ex-wife!’. I just don’t think it’ll work very well,” Warden said with a helpless shake of his head. Kuno gave a faint smile at that, lifting a hoof to cup his cheek. “You’re so adorable when you’re defensive,” she cooed, leaning forwards to kiss his nose lovingly. “But I think you underestimate how mature our daughter is. She’ll likely understand.” Warden wrinkled his nose at her words, before sighing and shaking his head. “I just don’t really want to,” he admitted, nuzzling against Kuno’s nose gently. “I don’t want to be that guy.” “What guy?” Kuno asked curiously, “The guy with the awesome changeling wife?” “The guy that carries all his personal baggage around with him and has it affect everyone in his life,” Warden said simply, pursing his lips with a soft sigh. “Swarm is gone... and bringing her up to mini-Swarm isn’t really going to do anything except possibly leave lasting psychological damage.” Kuno snorted once, nudging Warden firmly. “In a way, Swarm is still very much here. She shaped you, and you are now shaping your daughter. So... it’s a sort of second-hoof shaping that’s going on.” “You wouldn’t attribute a master blacksmith’s work to the blacksmith’s master, would you?” Warden asked bluntly. “Oh how cute, you’re getting all deep and philosophical,” Kuno said dryly, licking across the bridge of his nose slowly. “You blame mistakes in technique on your teaching though.” Warden snorted faintly, kissing Kuno’s nose in response. “I really don’t think so. I don’t blame my teachers for my deficiencies.” Kuno raised an ear slowly. “And if I found a break in your guard, back when you could actually hold a spear properly, I’d blame it on you being taught wrong, wouldn’t you?” Pursing his lips, Warden went silent, refusing to answer. “And there’s your answer,” Kuno said with a happy nod, nudging his nose with her own. “So, obviously, you should tell Swarm about old-Swarm.” Warden stared at his wife for a long moment. “I’m not seeing the logic-chain here.” “Oh come on, Warden,” Kuno said, exasperated, “She’s named after her.” Warden gave an uneasy squirm at that. “Let me... let me just think on it a while, okay?” Kuno rolled her eyes, snuggling in against his chest and resting her nose against his throat. “I won’t forget, Warden. So don’t even think you can worm your way out of this by putting it off.” Warden gave a faint chuckle at that, stroking a hoof gently against Kuno’s iridescent wings. “I know. Swarm isn’t going to be able to hide a thing from you, you’re like a hawk.” “I can be a hawk, if I want,” Kuno replied calmly, with a slow, sly grin. “Or a mouse... or a butterfly.” “Isn’t that... kinda dangerous?” Warden asked after a moment. Kuno nodded. “Exceedingly. I could get crushed, or buffeted about by wind.. or eaten. Not to mention that the more mass I gain or lose in a transformation, the more energy I consume. Transforming into a dragon is about the same difficulty as changing into a butterfly.” Warden tilted his head to the side slightly, and then blinked once. “Well, that certainly explains a few things.” “Transforming into something like a fly would require suicidal amounts of energy,” Kuno mused, rubbing a hoof against her chin slowly. “I don’t even think a queen could do it. Not even with years of love.” “Not even you could do it, with all the love I’m pouring into you?” Warden asked, rubbing his nose against her ears slowly. “An admirable suck-up attempt, but I’m afraid that it doesn’t nullify the maths. It took me a year of energy to be able to transform into a dragon, and that almost killed me. A fly would be like... transforming into a full-grown Ursa Major. It’s just... astoundingly huge,” Kuno said with a helpless shake of her head. “But a large bird of prey, like a falcon, or an eagle... that would work. And would only require a month or so of your luvvins.” Warden gave a faint smile at that, nudging his nose gently against her horn, snuffling at it. “I find it a strange allegory that a month of my love is equal to one falcon.” “Life is weird,” kuno said, nibbling gently at the hollow of his throat. “When is Swarm due back from school?” “Not for another few hours,” Warden said, eyeing the alarm clock on the dresser. “A few more hours of peace...” Kuno said with a happy little sigh. “And no questions! I love her dearly, but if she doesn’t stop asking me questions, then I’m going to transform into a Lynx and start stalking her of a nighttime.” Warden laughed faintly at that, shaking his head and nibbling at the very tip of one Kuno’s frills. “I doubt you’d be that mean.” Kuno snorted once, pursing her lips and drawing back to stare up at him. “You never told me that she’d ask ‘why’ to everything.” “Wait until she’s a teenager,” Warden said with a wry smile. “This aint nothing.” “Do you think she’s having fun at school?” Kuno asked seriously, scratching at her cheek with a hoof nervously. “What if she hates it?” Warden kissed Kuno’s nose gently, making a soft, soothing sound. “She’ll be fine. She’s survived you and me for so many years. How scary could school be?” Swarm tried to make herself as small as she could, shrinking back into one corner of the carriage, her ears folding down and wings tightening against her sides. A pair of unicorn’s were watching her with intent eyes, whispering amongst themselves. Their whispers were quiet, and muffled by the sound of the wooden wheels on the road, but Swarm could still make out their conversation. “Look, she’s a pegasus!” “But she’s got a horn!” “But she’s got wings as well so she’s obviously a pegasus!” “She’s a freak is what she is!” “Yeah, a pegasus freak!” Swarm turned to look out the window, feeling her ears burn with embarrassment, trying her best to pretend as though she couldn’t hear what they were saying. Thankfully, the carriage quickly filled up, and the hubbub of conversation muted whatever else the unicorns were saying about her. It was nearly half an hour of travel up a gentle gradient to get to Canterlot, and then the windows of the carriage were filled with the storefronts and buildings of Equestria’s capital city. Eventually, the carriage came to a stop in front of the school, and the door was opened from the outside by an elderly unicorn with a greying mane. The foals filed out of the carriage at the urging of the elderly mare, with Swarm last in line. She paused in the carriage, looking about wildly, thinking hard, before screwing up her eyes. Her horn glowed the faintest green, and her mane and tail writhed as though made of snakes. When the final foal stepped out of the carriage, Swarm was nowhere to be found. In her place was a sea-green foal with a blue mane and tail. The filly’s strange mane was done up in a large orb-like shape. A pair of pink eyes were just barely visible beneath the huge amount of hair. The elderly mare stared down at the ridiculous manestyle for several long seconds. Swarm twitched her wings nervously, “I-is something the matter?” The mare blinked slowly, and then shook her head. “No, nothing. Go in.” She jerked her head towards the front door of the school. Swarm meandered towards the doorway, keeping her head low, her wings spreading halfway in fight-or-flight reflex as she headed towards her first day of school. Swarm had chosen her desk, at the far back and side of the schoolroom, in one of the corner desks at the back of the room, where she was safe was the majority of stares. Her new manestyle had attracted some attention, but otherwise, she in the clear. On the board were some pictures of trees and bees, apples and oranges, all of those kinds of things, as well as a few very simple mathematical equations. Swarm ignored the maths for now; she already knew all of that. She knew her numbers up to twenty, and addition up to ten. She could even do some small ‘minus’ equations if she thought really hard. There were faint whispers in front of her, and some of the foals turned around to peer back at her and her eccentric manestyle. Swarm self consciously rubbed a hoof through her mane, casting her gaze back and forth before she screwed up her face in concentration. A glow of green overtook her mane and tail, and it returned to its normal shape and colour, melting back down to flowing and golden-blond while her coat colour melted back to grey. Several of the foals stared, and then pushed their chairs further away from the strange pegasus/unicorn filly. Swarm splayed her ears backwards in confusion, rubbing a hoof up over her horn and twitching her wings self-consciously. Recess was a new phenomenon for Swarm, and she wandered out from the classroom in mild confusion. Already, the other ponies had sorted themselves into groups. The largest group, the unicorns, were off to one side, at the food table, helping themselves to the fruit and sandwiches. A group of pegasi stood to the side, smaller than the unicorns. And a lone earth pony minced his way back and forth near the pegasi, looking out of place in both groups. Swarm felt very alone standing by herself. Waiting for the unicorns and pegasi to finish at the table, she joined the earth pony in taking their pick of the remaining food. All of the good stuff was taken already, but Swarm found half a peanut butter sandwich hidden underneath a half-eaten apple. She automatically offered it to the earth pony. The earth pony, a young male with freckles, a bronze mane and auburn hide, took it with a muffled ‘thanks’ and then melted back into the background of the playground. Swarm pursed her lips unhappily before ruffling through the remaining food looking for something that seemed edible. A shadow fell over the table, and Swarm looked around to find a unicorn staring down at her. The unicorn was a little bit larger than Swarm, with a clear blue hide and slightly green mane and tail. There was a pair of pretty crystal earrings in her ears. “Are you some kind of princess?” the unicorn asked without preamble. Swarm blinked, shrinking back slightly. “I-I don’t think so.” “Well you have a horn and wings,” the unicorn pointed out, eyes narrowing slowly, her expression turning mean. “M-my mommy has a horn and wings too,” Swarm stammered. “You mean to tell me, that Princess Celestia is your mother?” the unicorn asked doubtfully, her tone chilling. “No, my mother i-is Kuno,” Swarm said, shrinking back under the intense gaze of the other filly. “Kuno? What a stupid name for a princess. I bet she’s some kind of useless earth pony.” Swarm’s ears pinned back, and she shook her head. “S-she’s not a earth pony.” “Well is she at least a unicorn?” the unicorn asked bluntly. Swarm looked up at her, drawing in a deep breath. “I told you that she had a horn and wings. Are you just that dense?” swarm asked as bluntly as the could. The unicorn withdrew a step as though she had been struck, her eyes wide and her expression turning livid. “Do you know who I am?!” Swarm brushed past her roughly, bumping her into the table in her passing, shooting a simple ‘nope!’ over her shoulder and poking out her tongue. The unicorn turned to move after her, but a teacher stepped outside then, calling for the foals to come back in to class. Pegasus-Kuno was sitting at the front door of the cottage when the carriage arrived, and Swarm jumped down out of it, the filly running a hoof through her mane carelessly. Luckily, the snooty unicorn lived in Canterlot itself, and didn’t need to travel to and from school in the special carriage. Kuno held out her hooves as Swarm approached, and Swarm immediately rushed to her mother, hugging her tightly. “I missed you,” Kuno crooned, nuzzling down against her daughters neck affectionately. “I missed you too, mommy,” Swarm murmured, huffing faintly. “I don’t like the other foals. They’re mean.” “All of them?” Kuno asked with a deep frown. “All of them!” Swarm affirmed with a firm nod. The young filly looked around, blinking once. “Where’s daddy?” Kuno paused at that, giving a reassuring smile. “Your father is just visiting an old friend is all.” “An old friend?” Swarm asked, confused, staring up at her mother. “What old friend?” Kuno cast her gaze towards where she knew Warden was, miles away under the old oak tree, where his first wife was buried. Kuno looked down into her daughters eyes, pursing her lips slightly as she remembered Warden’s fears that Swarm wouldn’t understand. “Well... you see... your father is visiting, well...” Warden was sitting in front of the gravesite, a spray bottle and a bucket sat next to him. Over the years, he had cultivated a green vine with pink flowers to grow up over the headstone, and they were currently in bloom. There was a picture of the original Swarm on the headstone, framed carefully, though weathered with age. “Hey Swarm,” Warden murmured quietly, dropping down onto his stomach to peer at the headstone and the picture of Swarm. He knew it was stupid, but he found it somehow therapeutic to ‘talk’ to her every time he visited. “It’s been a few years, hasn’t it?” Warden pursed his lips, giving a wan smile and rubbing his hoof against his ear helplessly. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently. Just kinda... sad that you’re not here to see little Swarm grow up. She’s a beautiful little filly now. And I know she hasn’t got... any of you inside her, but she reminds me of you sometimes. Just in the little ways.” Warden rubbed a hoof through his mane slowly, trying to straighten it out. “I know you’d be proud of her. And I just... I really need you to know that I haven’t forgotten about you. I know I can’t really... well...” Warden licked his lips nervously, “I can’t lie to you. I love Kuno more than I loved you. I guess because... Kuno is a safety net to me, but she isn’t... Well she is my only support, really. Ack, I don’t make any sense. I’m sure you know what I mean, though, you know?” Warden smiled helplessly at the way he stumbled over his words, before his smile fell flat and he sighed faintly, peering at the headstone. “I know you’d have made an awesome mother...” Warden wasn’t certain how long he lay there for, but he heard a familiar rustle in the grass behind him. He gave a half-sad, half-knowing smile, and turned, expecting to find Kuno. Instead, the visage of his daughter greeted him. He blinked repeatedly, drawing himself up into a sitting position. He spied Kuno in the grass further out, just out of ear shot. “Daddy?” Swarm queried. “Is this... is this the other Swarm?” Warden paled at that, his ears splaying back against his skull, and he looked from his daughter, to his wife, his eyes narrowing slowly. “Daddy?” Swarm pressed, touching his shoulder with a hoof. Warden pursed his lips, and then nodded slightly. “Yes, hun. This is the old Swarm.” “And I’m named after her?” Swarm asked, looking towards the headstone, her own ears splaying back. Warden nodded gently. “Yes, you are. You’re not... mad about that, are you?” Swarm ignored the question. “Was she a nice pony?” “The nicest,” Warden murmured, looking from the headstone to his daughter and back again, uncertain. “And you... you come here and talk to her?” Swarm asked warily. Warden gave a heavy sigh, rubbing a hoof against his ear self-consciously. “Swarm... you have to understand... I don’t really think that she can hear me. I’m not crazy. I don’t even want her to hear me, I mean... well... I kinda do. But... I don’t even expect her to ans-” One of Swarm’s hooves came up to rest over his muzzle, in a motion that her mother used often when Warden began to talk too much. Warden was about to reprimand her, when the young filly turned to the headstone with an uncharacteristically sombre expression. “Hi Swarm. I don’t know who you are... but my daddy named me after you, so you must have been pretty special! And isn’t it just weird that we have the same name?! I see you don’t have a horn, so you must be a pegasus! And pegasus are kinda cool, you know-” Warden bit his bottom lip, pulling back slightly as Swarm dropped her hoof from his mouth. He grit his teeth, swallowing thickly, feeling tears springing into his eyes. A touch at his shoulder made him turn, and Kuno was there, hugging him warmly, nuzzling in to whisper into one of his ears. “See? She’s mature enough to know...” Warden nodded silently, resting his nose against his wife’s neck and watching his daughter related her first day of school to the headstone.