Top Of The Charts

by GeodesicDragon




Day 603 in Equestria.

You open your eyes slowly, fully expecting to be bombarded with sunlight. Instead you find your vision filled with white and blue, due to the unicorn lying next to you.

"Morning, Vinyl," you say, "did you sleep well?"

"Yes, Anon," she replies as she nuzzles your face, "did you?"

"Very well indeed," you chuckle, "because I've been eagerly awaiting the delivery of today's newspaper, so I could see what happened to our dear friend Tech Beat. I can't imagine he'll be happy about it."

"I couldn't care less what has happened to him," Vinyl growls, "because he bucking deserves it.

You both grin and drag yourselves out of bed. After a quick(ie in the) shower, you are both eating breakfast when you hear a knock on the front door of the club.

"Oh good," you rub your hands together gleefully, "that'll be the paper colt."

You get up from the table and grab some bits before heading to the door, admiring the echo of your footsteps in the empty club. You pull the door open, startling the colt on the other side. He soon recovers and looks up at you with a cheerful grin.

"Good morning, Mister Anonymous," he chirps, "I have today’s paper for you and Miss Scratch. Also, my father has asked me to inform the two of you that he will be late for his shift this afternoon, as he needs to accompany me to the dentist after school."

He passes you the paper and in return you give him the bits as a small tip.

"Thanks, Featherweight," you reply, "and tell your dad that's fine. Business has been a bit slow lately, so we're not expecting a rush. Just make sure you brush your teeth before you go."

"I will, Mister Anonymous." Featherweight says as he leaves, "See you tomorrow!"

You wave to him before going back inside, looking at the paper. Sure enough, a less-than-flattering picture of a scowling Tech Beat is on the front page.


Tech Beat, the former manager/producer of disgraced DJ Anonymous, was today fined 100,000 bits for misusing an aphrodisiac spell in a bizarre revenge scheme against his former client, the reason for which remains unknown.

Tech Beat denied all of the charges levied against him, but admitted his guilt when his own dreams were used against him, courtesy of Her Majesty Princess Luna.

The Princess used dream recording technology to prove Tech Beat's malicious intent. As well as the fine, Judge Swift Gavel also ordered that the charges of breaking and entering and public indecency levied against Anonymous and Vinyl Scratch last week be stricken from their records, given the circumstances under which the offences were committed.

You laugh out loud at the headline and breathe a sigh of relief at the news your charges have been dropped. That whole thing has been embarrassing beyond belief, so hopefully now everypony will forget that it happened.

"What are you so happy about?" Vinyl asks as you walk into the apartment, "And I heard what Featherweight said about his dad. Who said you could okay that?"

She raises an eyebrow and grins to let you know she isn't serious. You respond by sticking your tongue out at her and tossing the paper onto the table. Vinyl picks it up and looks it over, laughing as she reads it.

"I told you he deserves everything he gets," she snorts, "but this is just brilliant. Looks like all that money he got from you wasn't worth it after all."

You chuckle in response as another knock resonates through the club, this one sounding more urgent than the last one. Vinyl groans and gets up from the table.

"Maybe Featherweight thinks his tip is too small." she mutters as she goes to answer it. You leave her to it and resume demolishing your breakfast.

You nearly choke upon hearing the sound of splintering wood, followed by raised voices, one of which is Vinyl's.

"ANON!" she screams, "Get in here!"

You drop everything, sacrificing your glorious breakfast, and rush into the club. You find, to your horror, that Tech Beat has forced his way in and now has Vinyl pinned against the wall.

"What the fuck are you doing, you crazy bastard?!" you shout, "Let her go right now!"

Tech Beat doesn't comply. You clench your fists and grit your teeth.

"I said let her go." you snarl, "Or you and I are going to have a problem."

"We already have a problem." Tech Beat snorts, "And I'm here to take care of it, starting with this bitch."

With those words he slams Vinyl into the wall a few times before throwing her across the room, where she collides painfully with her turntable. You attempt to go over to her but Tech Beat tackles you, a scream of rage escaping his lips.

The two of you roll across the room in a flurry of hooves and fists. You end up being pinned under the deranged unicorn's body weight. The look on his face reminds you of the demented fangirl at that wedding — one of pure murder.

"I don't know how you got Luna involved," Tech Beat snarls, "but what I do know is the fact that my reputation has been destroyed. All of my clients have left me because I've been deemed untrustworthy. My word used to be law in Canterlot... but now it means absolutely nothing."

Pain erupts in your body as one of his forehooves connects with your head.

"And it's all your fault!" he screams in your face, "You ruined me, Anon, and now I am going to make you pay."

"Fuck off!" you grunt, "You brought this on yourself when you tried controlling me and who I could associate myself with! You ruined me, Tech Beat, so I merely returned the favour!"

You bring one of your knees into his flank, which serves to throw him off-balance. He falls forward and you bring your head up to meet his. The result is another burst of pain, but at least it gets him off you.

You quickly overpower him and begin landing blow after blow. All of the hate you have for this stallion is being unleashed, and you're hell-bent on showing him just how deep that hatred runs.

You hear Tech Beat's cries of pain and roars of fury, but you're beyond caring. You begin rattling off a list of things he's done, punctuating each one with another blow.

"This is for controlling my career! This is for trying to control my love life! This is for making me choose between my friend and my career! This is for trying to send me to jail when I didn't have enough money to pay you after you sued me for breach of contract! This is for drugging me... and this is for hurting Vinyl!"

Panting heavily you look down at Tech Beat, the stallion now looking more like a patty than a pony. His face is swollen and bloodied, his eyes are black and blue and a couple of his teeth are missing as well.

You slowly get to your feet and go over to check on Vinyl. She has a large gash on the back of her head, the blood matting in her mane. You gently caress her cheek and go to pick her up, but the sound of groaning makes you turn around.

"I'm not finished with you yet," Tech Beat says as he stands and coughs up blood, "motherbucker."

You stand your ground as he charges towards you, with froth pouring from his mouth and steam shooting from his nostrils.

With a blood-curdling scream he leaps on you, both forehooves making contact with your stomach. You go down with a grunt and bring your arms up to defend your face.

Tech Beat sees your vulnerability and starts punching you in the chest. You hear your ribs cracking and stifle a scream. Your assailant chuckles, but doesn't stop.

"I've been waiting for this opportunity for weeks now, Anon," he says, "and I intend to enjoy every second of it."

"Not if I have anything to do with it," you wheeze, "you twat."

You bring both fists into his chin, following it up with a kick to the side. This only serves to infuriate him further and he starts punching your now-exposed face, using his magic to hold your arms at your sides.

You're too high on adrenaline to notice the pain. All you care about is getting Tech Beat off you, but with your appendages being held you don't really have any ideas on how to do that.

As the blows rain down on you, you start to worry, mostly about Vinyl. You can't see her, and that has you panicking. You couldn't care less about your own safety, only hers.

A loud smash snaps you back to reality. You open one eye - painfully - and see Tech Beat with a stunned expression on his face. He suddenly falls to one side and hits the ground — revealing Vinyl with the remains of a chair next to her.

You quickly embrace each other, carefully avoiding each others injuries — which is easier said than done in your case. Vinyl is bleary-eyed and her voice quavers with emotion.

"Are you all right, Anon?" she asks, "I saw what he was doing and felt like I had to do something to help. Though, if I'm honest, it looks like you gave as good as you got."

"It's gonna take more than a beating to bring me down." you chuckle, "But fuck my well-being, Vinyl, what about yours?"

"I'm fine too." she replies, "I've been hit by crazy stallions before, but not quite like that."

"Go to the hospital," you tell her, "and get yourself checked out. While you're at it, find the guards and tell them to get back here."

Vinyl nods and heads to what remains of the door. She pauses mid-step and turns to look at you.

"What about you, Anon?" she queries, "You need to visit the hospital more than I do."

"I'm going to keep an eye on him," you point at Tech Beat, "just in case he wakes up before the guards arrive."

Vinyl resumes walking and heads out into Ponyville. You can hear a few gasps of shock, presumably from the locals who saw how bad her injuries are.

Sitting down on another chair, you cast your eyes over the still unconscious Tech Beat. Slowly but surely the adrenaline starts to wear off, and you become all too aware of the many aches and pains which are now plaguing you.

Brain, give me a damage report.

It's not looking good, Captain Anon. You really can't take much more of this punishment.

Enough crap, Brain, just give me the details.

Okay, you've got five broken ribs, two black eyes, three of your teeth are missing – which could be down to the rich sugar diet for all I know – you have a punctured lung, a swollen crotch, a broken nose and swollen knuckles from when you punched the hell out of that sack of shit over there.

The pain starts getting to you and you hiss. There's not much you can do about it until Vinyl comes back with the guards, and leaving Tech Beat alone – even while you get the first-aid kit – is out of the question. You can't risk him getting away.

As you glare at him, his eyelids flutter and he slowly opens them. You quickly stand up and clench your fists, expecting Round Three to begin at any moment.

"Had enough yet, motherfucker?" you sneer, "Or do I have to show you how to respect me all over again?"

Tech Beat doesn't reply. Suddenly, the chair you were just sitting on breaks into pieces — one of which hovers ominously close to his neck. You can see where this is going, and you don't like it. What worries you even more is the fact he has managed to conceal his magical aura.

You make a grab for the piece of wood and barely manage to get a hold of it — just as it embeds itself in Tech Beat's throat. You scream in horror as the unicorn lets out a gurgling chuckle.

"I told you," he whispers, "that I would have you jailed."

You ponder his words as death takes him. You relinquish your hold on the wood and turn around, breathing heavily.

And stare right into the eyes of a horrified Vinyl.

"Vinyl," you gasp, "this isn't what it looks like!"

You reach out to her but she backs away in fear. The guards with her waste no time in tackling you to the ground and applying manacles to your legs and wrists.

As you are dragged away you look at Tech Beat's lifeless corpse, and then to Vinyl.

Your feelings are crushed when she looks away.

You close your eyes, not wanting to see the world any more, and allow the guards to take you.