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// Kidnapped! 
// Story: Princess Celestia Gets Mugged 
// by BronyWriter 
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To Celestia's surprise, the journey to wherever the muggers were using as a hideout was rather short. By her count, it was only a few minutes before she felt a rush of cool air wash over her as they entered an air-conditioned building. Of course, it wasn't all good, as the building that they entered had a distinctly musky smell; something that her royal nose was admittedly not used to.

About a minute or so after they entered the building, Princess Celestia felt herself being lifted off of the stallion's back and placed down on a chair. She instantly felt thick ropes wrapping around her body, binding her to the chair, and she was thankful that necessity had dictated that she be stoic when faced with stressful situations. If she hadn't been trained as such, she would have burst out laughing right then and there.

When her kidnappers had finished tying her up, she figured that now was as good of a time as any to "wake up". Slowly, she opened her eyes and let out a groggy groan of mock pain.

As her eyes slowly opened, she was able to gauge her surroundings for the first time. The space was only lit with a singular lamp. The room itself looked to be little more than a small apartment, as there were only a few run-down beds and a minuscule table next to a tiny kitchenette in the room. Very cramped conditions for her four kidnappers. In that moment, she felt a little pity for the muggers. Clearly this was the reason they had been drawn to crime, despite Celestia's best efforts to combat poverty.

Well, it is time to fully wake up. She opened her eyes and let out a dramatic gasp, struggling weakly against her bonds. "Please let me go! I told you that I was gonna get you all of the money you wanted!"

The stallion who had led her to the alley guffawed at her and shook his head. "And we told you that we'd let you go once we got some ransom money from whatever family you belong to." The stallion's smile slowly faded and he uneasily scratched the back of his neck. "Uh... which family would that be again?"

Celestia sighed dramatically and hung her head. "It doesn't matter. They wouldn't pay my ransom even if you only asked them for one bit."

The muggers exchanged confused glances. "What do you mean?" one of the mares asked.

Celestia sniffled and she would have wiped her eyes with a wing, were she not secured to the chair. "Oh, it's positively dreadful! My father is a very cruel stallion who came to resent me after my mother died giving birth to me. My stepmother hates me just as much, if not more than my father does! She makes me clean our mansion every day!"

The lead stallion cleared his throat and put a hoof on Celestia's shoulder. "Well look, kid, I'm sure it's not that—"

"But it is!" Celestia wailed. "Do you know how mortified my unicorn father was when he found out that he had produced a pegasus? My family has been all unicorns for ages, and I broke that streak by having wings instead of a horn!"

"Oh, it can't be so bad," the other mare assured her, "I mean, you get to fly, don't you?"

Celestia shook her head. "No. Father keeps me locked in my room all day. I'm only allowed out to clean and eat out of a dog dish for the amusement of our guests."

The muggers stared at her in a stunned silence for a moment. The only sound in the apartment was that of Celestia's fake sobs until one of the muggers worked up the courage to speak. "You're messing with us, aren't you?"

Celestia sniffled and raised her head. "Huh?"

"Yeah," said the first mare, "you had me until the 'dog dish' part."

"Seriously, I think Celestia, or some authority, would know if that happened, particularly if your father entertains guests frequently," the first stallion agreed.

Celestia raised an eyebrow in surprise. Maybe they weren't as dumb as she had originally thought. She rolled her eyes and huffed. "Well it was worth a shot, wasn't it? I mean, you all just kidnapped me."

The second stallion shrugged. "I suppose so, but the fact remains that you got carried away."

"I mean, 'dog dish'?" The lead stallion snorted. "How dumb do you think we are?"

"Pretty dumb," Celestia admitted.

The lead stallion rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Well that doesn't really matter right now. What matters is where you actually come from. We need to know who to send the ransom note to!"

Celestia opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off when a roll of parchment popped into existence above them. It landed at her hooves and bounced on the floor. She groaned inwardly. Now, Twilight? You had to send me a letter now?

The second mare cocked her head in interest at the sight of the scroll, and she fired up her horn, taking the scroll in her magical grasp to unroll it.

The second stallion frowned and looked over her shoulder. "What is it?"

The mare unrolled the scroll, and began scanning the parchment.

"Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that you can't always get what you want, even when you think you really need something. Pinkie Pie taught me that sometimes it is better to make sacrifices for your friends, even to the detriment of yourself. I must say that I have grown from this experience and look forward to sending you more friendship letters.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle."

The mare looked up from the parchment with a look of utter bewilderment on her face. "Is this some kind of joke or something? Why were you sent a letter addressed to the princess?"

For the first time that day, Celestia felt unease creep up in her stomach. They had already proved that they weren't complete morons, and if they somehow figured out that she was the Princess then she would have to cut it off now. If that happened, then Luna would never let her go out again without a tail from the guards. That would be boring, make no mistake about it. No, she really wanted to see where this would go.

She sighed and hung her head again. "Okay, do you want to know the truth?" Her kidnappers nodded. "I'm a liaison between the princess' protégé and the princess herself. I live and work at the castle."

Her kidnappers simultaneously gasped, and the lead stallion shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe it, we managed to get one of Celestia's personal servants!" He turned to his fellows and grinned. "I was thinking a five hundred-thousand-bit ransom, but what do you say we triple that?" His fellows eagerly nodded in agreement, and he turned his attention back to Celestia. "You're not going anywhere for a while."

A small grin played at Celestia's lips, despite her biting her tongue to prevent it. Oh good.