Dear Diary,
I can’t believe it. This can’t be happening. They can’t be here. They just can’t be here. No, no.
Oh Diary I don’t know what I can do. If they’re here then—it won’t be long before everything gets messed up all over again. I might lose my friends. I don’t want to lose my friends. Tia certainly seemed to like them. She said we should play with the new pony at school, to be nice and help them relax. And then she told me I was being a real grumpy-little-foal when I said I didn’t want to.
I had my reasons. She doesn’t understand. Nopony understands. Galloway loves them because they’re doing Knight training as well. Apparently they’re really good but I don’t care. I’m fed up hearing from Galloway how great they are at everything. I JUST DON’T CARE. And now Gallows won’t talk to me until I apologise. My own brother, fooled by another pony. It seems so horrible. It’s like I’ve woke up in my own nightmares. I’ve actually had nightmares about this when I sleep. About me becoming less popular and hated by the one’s I care about.
Thankfully Blankety doesn’t go to our school so they’ve not had the chance to meet one another. And they never will if I’ve got anything to say about it. The more friends I lose the more it proves that they’ll always win. Nopony understands. And I can’t tell them the truth. I just can’t.
Even Miamore said I was being silly. He said it was stupid to be really scared of another pony stealing your friends; true friends would never leave your side. But he doesn’t know—he could never know. More importantly, I don’t want him to know; I don’t want anypony to know. Not even Tia or Blankety. I can’t even tell Uncle Alicorn, he’d never understand.
Mummy noticed I was looking glum and found out from Galloway what was wrong. I heard her talking to Uncle La Loo about it. She wanted to comfort me but Uncle La Loo said it was just a phase I was going through; it wasn’t unusual to be jealous of somepony else. They just don’t understand. I’m not jealous of the new pony; not anymore. I’ll never be that silly again.
I couldn’t even answer all of the questions in class today. My teacher told me not to worry, it was harder work, and she couldn’t expect me to be good at it straight away. And it might have been a bit hard but I should have been able to answer them. Instead ‘they’ answered all of the questions and got all the credit from the other foals about how perfect they were, and how smart they were, and how handsome they were. They’d never called me handsome before. They loved them more than me. I was losing my way.
Maybe getting angry with everypony wasn’t the best way about it. I mean, they’re all still my friends. Soon they’d be able to see the truth; it would just take a bit of time. I could make myself seem a lot better if I was nice in return. Then they’d see. I was much better than them and always would be. Always have been. I’m nice. I’m the Lord of Chaos remember? I rule.
But then—that smirk the new student gave me—they remembered—they remembered. And they were going to ruin everything. They want nothing more than to ruin my life. How do I deal with that? I don’t want my life to be ruined.
No, I don’t want my life to be ruined. And when they walked over to me and offered their hoof to shake I couldn’t help but glare at them. I hated them. I really hated them. And always would.
But because of that Tia doesn’t feel happy with me. She’s upset with me. What do I do to fix that? I know I can only fix it by being polite to the new foal—but Diary, I really don’t want to. I really don’t want to.
Daddy—Daddy on the hill. It was horrible. All I can think about is that day. That horrible, horrible day. And it’s all their fault. IT’S ALL HIS FAULT.
It can’t be him. It just can’t. It’s not fair. Why did he have to move here?
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.
I hate him—and I don’t know what to do. He’s going to ruin everything. Go away. Go away—
NOCTURN, JUST GO AWAY.