//------------------------------// // Butt Touching // Story: Stability // by SlightlyOnline //------------------------------// Lyra just stood in shock for what seemed like an eternity. All she could see was Derpy’s rear sticking out of the side of Bon Bon’s building, her legs flailing all about. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. Laugh? Chuckle? Giggle? Help her? Laugh some more? She quickly dispelled her urges to chortle at the mare’s predicament, realizing that there was a pony stuck in a wall that definitely needed some sort of assistance. She grabbed Bon Bon by the hoof and started trotting briskly to the building. “I’ll pull on her hooves from the inside while you push from the outside. She should slide right through.” Bon Bon stopped in her tracks. “Wait, so you want me to touch her butt?” “Well, yeah. She is kind of stuck. Besides, you should be pretty good at touching and pushing butts by now.” The earth pony shook her head and reluctantly trotted over to the still flailing mare. “Fine. I’ll do it, you’ll laugh at me, and then we’ll never talk about it again.” “Deal,” Lyra replied, herself entering Bon Bon’s store. It was there that she found the front end of Derpy, desperately flapping her wings and moving her arms in an awkward swimming motion. “Oh, hey Lyra,” she said as the unicorn walked in, a goofy grin on her face. “I’m a little stuck here. Can I get a little help?” Lyra put on as big smile as she could, damming a river of what would be her laughter. “Sure, Derpy,” was all she could say; anything more would rupture the dam and then she’d be on the floor, rolling around in amusement, unable to help save Derpy at all. “You ready Bon Bon?” she called out to her trusty partner. “I’m going to start pulling! You push!” There was a pause for a moment, but suddenly Derpy flailed her arms as her eyes went wide in surprise. “Alright!” Bon Bon’s reluctant voice called back. “I’m... ready, I guess.” Lyra was trying her best to stop herself from just breaking down in laughter at the thought of Bon Bon’s hooves all over Derpy’s butt. The most entertaining part was Derpy’s face; she didn’t look like she expected it, but she wasn’t protesting either. She couldn’t resist. “How’s it feel back there, Derpy?” “Um, it feels like somepony is fondling my butt.” That was Derpy. Never one to be inaccurate. The unicorn decided to push it a little further. “What about you, Bon Bon?” she called. “How does it feel on your end?” She could help but laugh just a bit in the middle of her question. There was another pause, but suddenly Bon Bon spoke. “It’s... soft. A lot softer than yours. More fun to touch as well, Lyra.” Okay, ouch. Lyra though, wincing slightly. I deserved that one, I guess. “In fact, I think that I could get used to this. What do you say, Derpy?” “It doesn’t feel... bad,” the trapped pegasus replied, the look on her face confirming that it wasn’t bad at all. “But I’m kind of already seeing somepony!” she immediately blurted out, blushing like mad. This piqued Lyra’s interest. “Oh really? Who would that be?” Derpy made another futile attempt at flapping her limbs. “I’ll tell you all about it after you help me out of here, alright? And as soon as Bon Bon lets go of my butt.” “Oh. Right,” Lyra quickly said, remembering that originally they were going to help the mare embedded in Bon Bon’s wall. She grabbed Derpy’s forehooves. “Bon Bon, are you ready?” “Oh, no. In fact, I would like to keep my hooves here a while longer,” came her sarcastic sounding reply. Lyra rolled her eyes; that was enough of a yes for her. “Alright, push!” With all the strength she could, she yanked on Derpy’s hooves, leaning back with all of her weight. She could hear Bon Bon grunt on the other side and felt the pegasus’ wings flap wildly. She might have enjoyed the breeze in other circumstances. Derpy wasn’t budging. Damn. Earth ponies have it nice with all that strength they have. All I have is this dumb horn. Lyra stopped pulling, feeling stupid. Duh. Her horn glowed, enveloping Derpy in her magical aura. Instead of focusing on the lodged pony, however, she directed the energy outwards, instantly widening the hole in the wall. Immediately, either because of Bon Bon’s pushing or Derpy’s wild flapping, the pegasus popped out of the wall, her face running straight into the ground. Lyra winced a little, but it didn’t take long at all for the gray mare to lift her head right back up, a smile as big as ever, despite the red mark on her forehead. “Thanks, Lyra!” she said. “Yeah,” the unicorn replied awkwardly scratching the back of her own head with a hoof. How can Derpy be so... happy? “Don’t mention it.” The mare giddily flapped her wings, but they quickly drooped and her eyes fell as she turned around. “I’m sorry about the wall, Lyra. I didn’t mean to do that. It was an accident.” Lyra glanced to her left to see that Bon Bon was just entering the building, gawking at the massive hole in what was going to be her store. She decided to speak before Bon Bon took over. “I know, Derpy. It’s fine. We’ll fix it.” The pegasus dug around in her mailbag that must have fallen off her shoulder when she crashed. Clumsily, she drew out a small bag that clinked as she tossed it to Lyra, who caught it in her magical grasp. “Here. I know it won’t be enough to fix the wall, but it’s all I have right now. I’m sorry it’s not more.” Being that happy and nice must be some sort of crime. Lyra decided to speak once more before Bon Bon accepted. “No, Derpy. It’s fine, really. I know that you’re a single mother and all, so we can’t take your money.” Luckily, Derpy accepted the small pouch as Lyra tossed it back to her. She slipped the container back into her bag before... blushing? “Well... not single anymore...” Lyra passed a glance to Bon Bon to find that she had an expression that she was sure was similar to her own. Derpy? Met somepony? That’s... different. I mean, she’s not a bad looking mare or anything, and apparently she has a soft butt... but still, she doesn’t peg me as the dating type. This time, Bon Bon took the reigns, which was much better than Lyra staring off into space with her mouth open. “Oh really? Who’s the lucky colt?” The pegasus’ blush intensified, her gaze shifting away from the two ponies in front of her. “Um... She’s not a colt.” If Derpy didn’t have one hundred percent of Lyra’s attention before, she did now. Not that Lyra was one who particularly enjoyed talking about other ponies’ romantic interests; Derpy, sweet, clumsy and lovable Derpy, dating a mare was something that was just too good to pass up. “Really?” Lyra asked with a little more excitement than she intended. “Who is it?” Derpy’s gaze continued to wander around in two different directions, taking extreme interest in the hole in the wall, the wall itself, and basically anything that wasn’t her two interrogators. Her face continued to redden before she took a deep breath and finally spoke. “Berry.” “Berry?” Lyra and Bon Bon questioned in unison. “Berry.” An awkward silence set in, Derpy sitting on her flank and gazing at... everything seemingly absentmindedly. Lyra just stood there, occasionally passing a glance to Bon Bon to see that she was doing the same. “H- how?” she finally spoke. An alcoholic and a klutz? This cannot end well. “Well... Um...” Derpy’s expression changed to one slightly more contemplative than her normal one. “Well she came over with her kid for a playdate, and we just started talking. And then she passed out on my couch.” Oh! All that time ago when Bon Bon bought that awful building and Berry was over here. She said something about trying to get Derpy. “Who’s couch hasn’t she passed out on?” Lyra joked; Derpy didn’t seem to notice. “And then she woke up and said her head hurt. I had already brought Dinky and Pinchy to school, so I just took care of her for the day.” With the initial shock wearing off, Lyra found herself able to push a little further. “And what does ‘taking care of’ involve?” she asked with a wink. Bon Bon was going to scold her for this; she just knew it. Either Derpy completely missed what she was asking, or decided to ignore it. “Oh, I just gave her some coffee and let her rest for a bit. It was... nice.” Probably so Lyra couldn’t add any more innuendo to the conversation, Bon Bon spoke next. “Really? So you two must have really hit it off, then.” “Oh yes. We’re both single mothers, so we had a lot to talk about. And since our kids go to school together, we can help each other out.” “Have you told your kids?” Lyra asked with genuine curiosity. Derpy awkwardly shuffled a bit, but when wasn’t her shuffling awkward? “Well... no. Not yet. We will... eventually.” The mare blushed once more. “Dinky has been curious about our sleepovers and pillow forts.” Lyra snickered slightly and then looked over to Bon Bon to find her jaw on the floor. See! Lyra excitedly exclaimed in her mind. Pillow forts are awesome! “That’s... great, Derpy,” Bon Bon said quietly, smiling. “I’m happy for you.” “Yep,” was the pegasus’ reply. Derpy may have been fun to talk to, but deep discussions were really difficult to have. Moments that felt like hours passed before Derpy’s ears perked up. “Oh yeah! Now I remember why I came here in the first place!” She dug around in her mailbag and pulled out a rather fancy looking letter. “It looks really important and I didn’t want to leave it at your house, so I came here to find you.” “Thanks, Derpy,” Lyra said, grabbing the letter in her magic. It did indeed look really important. There were some familiar looking musical symbols clasping it shut. The mailmare fluttered her wings until she was on her hooves and slung her bag over her shoulder. “No problem! I’d love to stay because you guys are really fun to talk to, but I need to get going! I’ve got a date!” With a massive smile, she awkwardly flew out of the massive hole in the wall that she had earlier created. “Bye, Derpy!” Bon Bon called after her. Immediately, though, she turned to Lyra, giving her an all-too-recognizable stern look. “Umm,” Lyra began, but was immediately stopped by Bon Bon snatching the letter out of her magical grip and hitting her on the head with it. “What did you think you were doing?!” Bon Bon yelled during her barrage of fancy paper. “Corrupting poor innocent Derpy like that!” The earth pony didn’t stop until Lyra was on the floor, covering her head with her hooves. “Ouch, Bon Bon! Paper hurts!” “She’s so cute and blissfully ignorant and you just want to ruin that!” Lyra popped up to her hooves and took the now-crumpled letter from Bon Bon. “She’s a grown mare. Yeah, she is adorable, but she’s got a kid and she’s a dating Berry! I don’t think she’s ‘blissfully ignorant’.” Bon Bon sighed. “Yeah, I know. I just want to believe that there’s one mare in the world that you haven’t corrupted.” The unicorn raised an eyebrow, still levitating the letter safely out of Bon Bon’s reach. “Oh really? You didn’t mind when I corrupted you.” “Are you trying to be sexy?” Bon Bon asked flatly, to which Lyra nodded. “Well it’s not working.” “Damn it,” Lyra said, not realizing that it was out loud. “Anyway, the point is that Derpy isn’t an innocent filly, especially not after the way you fondled her ass, and this is definitely not worth ruining a fancy letter addressed to me. This paper looks really expensive.” Bon Bon paused, looking at the folded paper. “Whoops.” “Yeah. ‘Whoops’,” Lyra responded as she began to smooth out the envelope. “I’ll be lucky if I can even read a word of it.” With a flick of her magic, though, the letter returned to its original state. “There,” the unicorn said, rather proud of her handiwork. “Well? Aren’t you going to read it?” “That depends; are you going to beat me with it?” “Oh, come now, Lyra. Just read the letter. It looks important.” Lyra didn’t say a word. She just allowed her horn to glow and rip open the top of the letter, levitating out multiple sheets of paper that she would describe as ‘classy’, because there was no better word for it. Her eyes narrowed as she squinted at the relatively finely printed words, the gears in her head slowly turning as she tried to decipher them. It was only seconds before she gave up. “Bon Bon? Could you translate this for me? I’m not good with fancy words. If I was half as good with words as you are at touching butts, I’d be a scholar.” Her marefriend sighed, taking the the papers from Lyra, but not passing up the chance to smack her once on the head with them. Her eyes passed over the paper a couple times before she straightened her posture and cleared her throat, adopting a nearly perfect Canterlot accent. “Basically, it says: Lyra Heartstrings, first off, congratulations on successfully auditioning for the Musician’s Ball. Blah blah blah, fancy words. We can’t wait to see you there. Enclosed are the required forms and information needed to enter. Fill them out, and get back to us. Hugs and kisses, the Canterlot Musicians.” Lyra stared at her for a couple moments. “That accent was really good, but there’s no way it says that.” “Thanks, I’ve been practicing my voices. I was paraphrasing the letter, but that’s the gist of it.” “Oh, cool. So when exactly is this shindig?” Bon Bon sighed. “Considering you auditioned for it, you probably should know that.” Still, she looked at the paper. “In a couple months. Looks like it’s in the middle of winter.” “Oh. Playing with cold hooves doesn’t sound fun.” “Well you should have thought about that before you auditioned.” Lyra hated it when Bon Bon was right. “Well... w- yeah. You know I’m not good at thinking things through. Anyway, at least I got in. I am I kind of curious about Octavia though. Aren’t these musical events kind of her thing? She gave up her spot for me.” Bon Bon just shrugged. “Maybe I should ask her.” “Are you sure that’s a good idea after... what happened.” Lyra cocked her head. “Since when have I had good ideas?” Bon Bon facehooved. “And yet you still trust your own judgement.” “Which is another one of my bad ideas. Really, Bon Bon. It’s not that hard to figure out. I mean, I have my moments, like when I told you to get your hooves all up on Derpy’s butt, but those are rare flashes of brilliance.” Lyra slowly made her way out of the little shop smirking at how clever she was; their constant work on it really was making it start to come together. Although... that newly formed hole would take some patching up; Lyra reprimanded herself for not immediately taking the cash Derpy offered. The unicorn felt her ears droop as she looked at the massive breach in the wall; it would take forever to fix. However the longer she stared at it, the more fixing it seemed... wrong. Her ears perked up excitedly. “Bon Bon!” she exclaimed. “What, Lyra?” the earth pony asked, seeming equally disgruntled by the large hole. “Is this another one of your bad ideas?” “No, this one’s actually a great one.” She could picture her amazing idea in her mind. “Do you know a company that makes fancy windows?” ***                        ***                        *** It had taken a few hours of looking through ads and asking around, but they had finally found a custom window manufacturer. Sure, it would be expensive, but, after some number crunching, Bon Bon found that it would be less expensive than replacing half of a wall. Lyra was just looking over their calendar, reviewing her current schedule. “Alright, so we’ve got that window arriving in a couple weeks.” She marked that down. “We’ve got the Musician’s Ball in a couple months.” Another note. “And I’ve got to go have a chat with Octavia sometime soon.” She marked just a general note for sometime during the next week. “And that about covers it.” “And don’t forget about your therapy session,” Bon Bon said, her eyes pouring over some number-related things that Lyra didn’t want any part in. The glow faded from Lyra’s horn and her pencil dropped. “My what?” “Your therapy session. The one Octavia scheduled for you that’s next weekend.” Lyra’s face flushed; she had thought that Octavia was just being nice, not that she would actually do it! Therapy was a definite no-go for her. There was only one pony that she needed to talk about her problems with, and that was herself. She turned to Bon Bon to protest, but found that she had adopted that you-are-doing-this-because-I-say-so look. Dammit.