It was a bright morning at Sugarcube Corner, and Pinkie Pie was scrubbing a baking pan that she had forgotten to clean last night. She was humming to herself and wondering what on earth could rhyme well with 'apple tarts' when she heard the bell ring, announcing a customer. She quickly dropped the pan, waved her forelegs wildly in the air to remove the soap suds, and emerged from behind the counter, grinning widely.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" she greeted her friend. "What's going on today?"
"Oh, you know," Rainbow said, looking around the room. "Not much."
Pinkie cocked her head. "I get the feeling that that's not entirely true, Dashie," she said with a hint of a teasing smile.
Rainbow sighed in defeat. "Ok, it's not; but I don't really want to tell you what I'm going to do today because I kindof want it to be personal, and I really don't want there to be a party celebrating it or anything, and with you being, well, you..."
Pinkie Pie gasped and held a hoof against her chest, as if deeply offended. "Rainbow Dash! Does that sound like something I'd do? Throw a party at an inappropriate time?"
Rainbow gave her a flat look. "Are you really asking me that?"
Pinkie tapped her temple, grinning widely. "I'm pretty sure your auntie Pinkie knows enough about parties to know when to and when not to throw one."
Rainbow blinked. "Aunti-" She shook her head. "First off, you're a year younger than me. In fact, I think you're the youngest out of all of us. Secondly, no. I really don't think you do."
Pinkie crossed her forelegs and pouted. "I do so."
Rainbow fought the urge to facehoof. "Pinkie, the only reason you didn't throw a 'Rainbow Dash and Applejack lost their virginity to each other' party is because you were back on the rock farm for your mother's birthday."
"I sent a card, though," Pinkie protested, as if defending herself for a shortcoming.
"Exactly my point,” Rainbow said, stomping her hoof emphatically. “Some things are personal, and really don't need to be party-fied."
Pinkie thought for a moment. "So you think the party to celebrate the first time Mr. and Mrs. Cake had sex after foaling was a bit excessive, too?" she asked.
Rainbow Dash blinked again as rather disturbing images flew through her head. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," she said.
Pinkie slumped slightly. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’, then,” she said sadly.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Look, we like parties. We like your parties, Pinkie. I like your parties. But sometimes, things need to be done personally. Just two ponies, together. No cake. Or streamers.”
“Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie said, in a slow voice that clearly indicated that she wasn’t sure how true that was.
Rainbow sighed and resigned herself to the fact that she would probably be having this same conversation with Pinkie Pie again in a few days. “Anyway... I’m here for a couple of special orders.”
Pinkie perked up at that. “I like special orders,” she said, a smile pulling up one corner of her mouth.
"Good," Rainbow grinned, "because it's for the special-est of ponies."
Pinkie gasped. "Princess Celestia?!?"
"No..."
"Hmm... Epona?"
"Who?"
(1) "Ooh! Applejack! She's special-est to you because you love her the most-est! I get it now!"
"Yes. Uh... Stomps for Pinkie?" Rainbow said in a voice almost free from sarcasm. Almost.
"Yay!" Pinkie beamed and clapped her hooves together in celebration.
Rainbow shook her head. At this rate, she'd never get out of here. "Just get me a medium sized vanilla cake with orange frosting and red lettering on it."
Pinkie scribbled that down onto a clipboard that Rainbow hadn't seen her grab. "Orange frosting, is that color or flavor?"
"Color."
Pinkie nodded. "And what should the lettering say?"
"That's the special part." Rainbow leaned in, staring Pinkie in the face. "I want this to be private. You have to promise no party about this."
Pinkie thought for a moment. "Can I promise no party until after you've had time to do your thing?" she asked hopefully.
"Is that as good as I'm going to get?"
Pinkie nodded. "Probably."
Rainbow sighed. "Fine. But it's gotta be a little party. Tiny, even."
Pinkie nodded and made the motions of her Pinkie Promise (TM).
"It's gotta say..." And she leaned in and whispered what to write.
Pinkie squealed and threw her forelegs around Rainbow. "Oh, Dashie, that's so exciting! I'm so happy for you!"
Rainbow fought for control of her windpipe. "Can't... breathe..."
"Sorry!" The pink pony released her prisoner. "When do you need it by?"
"As soon as possible. I'm going to ask her today." Rainbow suddenly remembered something else. "And while I'm at it, I need another one. A gemcake.”
"Chocolate or vanilla?"
"Chocolate."
“Alright. For the gems, do you want Sapphire or Ruby?” Pinkie tapped her chin. "Actually, we might have some Emeralds floating around, too..."
Rainbow Dash blinked. She hadn’t even considered that there would be this many options. “Uh... surprise me. It’s for Spike.”
“For Spike? Are you dating him, too?” Pinkie asked, her jaw agape.
“Wh- No! No! That’d be a terrible idea! I just owe him one, you know? Well, maybe half of one. But still.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “I’ll get these right out to you!”
* * *
Carrying and protecting her sweet prize, Rainbow Dash flew slowly through the air. She was extremely happy that she was a pegasus and able to fly unaccosted through the air instead of walking along the ground, because that would have been an adventure in and of itself (2).
Slowly, Sweet Apple Acres faded into view, and sure enough, she could hear the sounds of two powerful rear hooves slamming into trees. Rainbow Dash quickly did a flyby to ensure that she had found Applejack and not her brother.
See? Rainbow said to herself. I’m learning.
To Rainbow’s mild surprise and disappointment, it was indeed Applejack’s brother; and, as she certainly did not want to ask him the question she wanted to ask Applejack, she continued flying. He also had a special somepony who, should he or she be so inclined, bring him cake as well.
Not that Rainbow Dash cared, though. She was a mare on a mission.
Soon enough, she heard two more hooves thunking against trees. Applejack was focused on her work, so she didn’t notice Rainbow Dash land behind a tree.
Rainbow set the cake down and took a few deep calming breaths as she ran a hoof through her mane in a futile attempt to straighten it. This wouldn’t be hard. Just go up to her, show her the cake, and ask her. Piece of cake.
Heh. Rainbow smiled, the pun leaving her feeling a little less stressed.
Picking up the box again, she walked forward, watching the beauty that was Applejack at work. Her lithe frame moved smoothly and powerfully as she drove her rear hooves into the tree, sending apples cascading down in showers of red into waiting baskets.
Unfortunately, Applejack also had the habit of leaving old, overripe apples that had fallen off the tree by themselves on the ground, as their decaying helped fertilize the orchard. These decaying apples turned brown, mushy and slick. Now, if a visitor is watching where they are going, it is a mere inconvenience, nothing more. But if a visitor is too engrossed in watching beauty incarnate...
To Rainbow Dash’s immense shock and horror, she found that her left forehoof, which had heretofore been supporting most of her weight, was no longer on the ground; and she didn’t even have time to spread her wings to try and catch herself before she fell face first, landing with a disturbing squishing sound.
Applejack jumped and whirled around. “Rainbow Dash! What’re you doin’ here?”
Rainbow just sat there, feeling the frosting that had squeezed out of the crushed box clinging to her fur. “N- nothing,” she said unconvincingly, sitting up and trying to reclaim a modicum of dignity.
Applejack walked over. “Is that a cake?”
“Was,” Rainbow corrected.
Applejack’s eyes narrowed. It wasn't her birthday, so the only other reason could be... “Were you plannin’ on prankin’ me?”
Never before or since had Rainbow Dash wanted to cry so badly. "Y- yeah. A prank. That’s all it was. But looks like you caught me, so I’m gonna... go clean up or something." She turned and flew quickly away, sending frosting and cake bits scattering through the air.
Applejack chuckled. “Oh, Rainbow...”
* * *
Inside her house, Rainbow sat with her head buried in the pillow. Her perfect plan, ruined. Now what?
She sat up, new hope sparking in her eyes. She could improvise. Nothing could keep Rainbow down, right? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She would win her prize!
She looked down at her bed, imagining that there was an orange earth pony sleeping soundly there. Imaginary Applejack shifted in her sleep and murmured her name into the night.
Suddenly energized, Rainbow burst out of her house, flying steadily towards town. The day was still salvageable.
* * *
Applejack kicked another tree and heard the satisfying sound of apples hitting their target. She lifted her hat and wiped her brow. "Whoo-ee. Things’re goin’ great.” She glanced over at the empty water bucket. “Sure wish Ah had somethin' cool t’ drink out here, though.”
"Your wish is my command, fair maiden!"
Applejack spun around for the second time that day to see Rainbow Dash gliding to the ground, with a large thermos around her neck.
"Hey, Rainbow," Applejack smiled. "What's up?"
"Not much. I just happened to be in the area and figured you could use a drink."
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "The area? Really?"
"Ok, fine. I just wanted to see you, ok?" she said as she lifted off the thermos and gave it to Applejack.
"Fine by me." The earth pony took a long, deep drink, and Rainbow tried really hard to not become too distracted by the way the sun glinted off the sweat in her golden mane, or the way she swallowed, or...
Applejack lowered the thermos and licked her lips. "Mmm. Fruit punch."
"Yeah. Pinkie Pie makes some good stuff." Rainbow sighed and steeled herself. "So anyway. We've been together a long time now, right?"
"Right."
"Like, a really long time."
Applejack cocked her head. "You ain't tryin' to break up with me, are you?"
Rainbow's eyes widened in horror. Definitely not her intention. "No! No, no! Never! I just mean... I was wondering...” Her voice trailed off, her courage melting like snow in summer as she fell into Applejack’s emerald eyes.
Applejack, who was completely ignorant of the raging conflict in her marefriend’s mind, cocked her head. “Wonderin’ if...?”
“If... if you’d like to go out for dinner with me?”
Rainbow Dash almost cried right then and there.
Almost.
Applejack frowned. “Well, normally Ah’d say yes in a heartbeat, you know Ah would; but Ah’m fallin’ behind a bit here and Ah can’t let any more of this fruit go bad.”
“I’ll help,” Rainbow blurted out.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’d be glad to.”
Applejack grinned. “All right, then. You haul those baskets over there over to the barn and bring back some empty ones from the stack in the corner, ok?”
“Got it!”
Rainbow smiled painfully as she strapped the baskets to her body. It was a step in the right direction, at least.
* * *
Rainbow Dash was not a weak pony in any sense of the word. That being said, apple-bucking is hard work, and she was very, very sore.
But that wasn't all. A combination of lack of preparation combined with end-of-month lack of funds meant most of the restaurants were either full or out of Rainbow's price range, so their dinner consisted of take-out tacos on a picnic table at the park.
Cheap food and ice packs. Definitely not the romantic setting the book recommended.
Still, Rainbow was determined.
"Spontaneous," Applejack said as she added just a hint of hot sauce to her burrito. "Ah think that's the word Ah'm looking for. This is spontaneous."
"Yeah. Living on the edge," Rainbow agreed hesitantly. What was Applejack thinking? Did she think she was being lame? Was she getting tired of her? Was she more concerned about her apple harvest right now? Did she think she looked silly with the ice packs on?
Either way, it was time to go.
Rainbow swallowed and spoke. “We’ve been together a while, and It's been a great time. I've had a great time. So, I’m thinking, maybe it's time to take the next step.”
Applejack looked down at her taco and said the first thing that came to her mind. “Feeling comfortable enough to fart in front of each other?”
“Eww! No. And pegasi don't fart.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Sure they don't.”
“It's true,” Rainbow protested. “It’s part of our flying physiology. Our body deals with the gasses differently.” She was suddenly grateful that the colt behind her in Health class had had the nasty habit of popping his gum, rendering her unable to sleep during that hour. That had been the one class she actually passed. (3)
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, Rainbow.” Her smile quickly turned devious. “They do queef, though."
Rainbow Dash blushed furiously. “It was one time!” she hissed.
Applejack just giggled behind her burrito.
“Argh!” Rainbow folded her forelegs and huffed angrily. “Why does life keep doing this to me?”
“Doin’ what?”
“Interrupting me!”
Applejack set her burrito down and turned to face Rainbow Dash. She lifted her hat and smiled. “All right. No more interruptions. Just us. Say what’s on yer mind, Dash.”
Rainbow inhaled deeply, paused, and then looked around as if expecting a surprise attack. Once she was satisfied that Pinkie wasn’t about to pop out from a bush or a trash can or--Celestia forbid--under the table itself, she turned to Applejack and tried really, really hard to not think about just how off-balance Applejack was in that position and how easy it would be to tackle her into a deep kiss. “It's been almost a year. It's been one of the greatest years of my life. I love you, and I want to take the next step and make it undeniably public. Would you like to move in with me?
Applejack smiled, a true smile. “Rainbow, I would love that.” She paused. “'Ceptin' there's only one problem.”
“What?” Rainbow asked, watching her fantasies crumble into dust before her eyes.
“You live in a cloud house, and I'm an earth pony.”
“So you'd have to wear the amulet all the time. That's fine. It looks good on you.”
“And how do you propose Ah get to and from the ground when it's time to work in the morning?”
Rainbow Dash thought about this... and then slammed her head against the table. “I knew I was forgetting something...” she whined.
Applejack laughed lightly, and then leaned in and gave Rainbow a kiss on the cheek. “Ah appreciate it, though.”
“Great,” Rainbow sighed. All day she had worried. All week she had planned. All for a rejection due to something that should have been blatantly obvious from the start. Just fantastic.
Applejack shook her head and gave Rainbow a playful shove. “No, you're supposed to ask how much Ah appreciate it.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes, but decided to follow her lead. “Ok then, how much do you appreciate it?”
* * *
Rainbow lay sprawled out on the cloud, panting heavily. Her forelegs were spread, her wings were spread, her hind legs were spread, and if her unfocused vision was any indicator, her eyes were spread, too.
She finally managed to squeeze out a few words. “Oh. That much.”
Applejack chuckled as she chewed on a sprig of wheat. “Eeyup.”
Rainbow looked over. “Where did you even get that?”
“Get what?”
Rainbow sank back down. “Never mind.” Having regained control of her body, she rolled over and cuddled against Applejack, resting her head on the earth pony’s chest and letting her right hoof trace slow circles on Applejack’s stomach. It was her favorite position, and it never got old. “You’re the best, AJ.”
Applejack said nothing, but did reach a hoof down and ruffle her mane.
Rainbow Dash would have been content to lay there for the rest of the night.
Yet for some reason, the universe decided that she had not had enough interruptions that day, and proceeded to provide another. This next one came in the form of a whistle.
Rainbow poked her head up and looked over the cloud, only to take a slice of cake to the face.
“What the?!?” she spluttered, wiping off the majority of the cake.
“Hi!” Pinkie Pie grinned, waving with the slingshot she carried. “Here’s the party I promised! Little, just like you wanted.”
Rainbow Dash stared, completely at a loss for words. Applejack gave her a teasing smile. "Jus' what you ordered, eh?" she ribbed.
"No," Rainbow grumbled.
Pinkie stood there for a few seconds. “So... yeah. Guess the party’s over and now you’re having the afterparty. Enjoy each other’s company!” Giggling madly, the pink pony dumped the rest of the cake into her mouth and then bounced off into the sunset. Suddenly, she stood stock still. "Ooh! 'Magic starts'! That's what it is!" Now immensely pleased with herself, she continued bouncing until she was out of sight.
Rainbow Dash sat back on the cloud and spat off the side. “Pinkie Pie,” she grumbled furiously. “Why does she always do this? It’s like she does it on purpose. That’s it. Tomorrow we’re testing to see if the amulet works on stratocirrus, out of her rang-”
She froze when she felt something small and wet travel up her face. “Mmm,” Applejack grinned, licking her lips. “Orange flavored.”
Rainbow let Applejack continue cleaning her face off, trying--and failing--to hold in a little ‘nf!’ of pleasure at every lick. Her already sore wings slowly expanded, providing balance.
Maybe Pinkie Pie wasn’t as bad as she’d thought.
* * *
Three hours later, two completely exhausted ponies returned to Applejack’s house. This time, the window was open, and so they managed to sneak in without alerting the others.
They stood there, looking at each other, in that awkward post-coital silence when one party has to leave, but neither wants to.
“Well, I guess that’s good night, then,” Rainbow said finally. She turned back towards the window.
“Wait!”
Rainbow turned back around.
Applejack pulled off her hat and fiddled with the brim. “Do you wanna... you know... stay the night?”
Rainbow nodded. “I’d like that. Just for tonight?”
Applejack smiled and held out a hoof invitingly. “Hopefully for a bit longer than that.”
And just like that, every accident, interruption, and moment spent with Pinkie Pie was absolutely worth it.