//------------------------------//
// All Eyes on Derpy 
// Story: All Eyes on Derpy 
// by NolanF 
//------------------------------//


All Eyes on Derpy
By Nolan Fidler


It was a bright and sunny morning in Ponyville. Fluttershy was humming to herself as she gently woke the many animals in her house from their slumber. “Good morning, everyone,” she said in her meek but friendly voice, “time to wake up!” She gave a small family of squirrels a few nudges with her nose, and they stretched and yawned as their eyes slowly came open. Along the ceiling, where various birdhouses had been attached, an assortment of colorful songbirds were greeting each other with cheerful chirps. Fluttershy smiled up at them as she trotted over to a nest of field mice. “Rise and shine, little babies!”

Before long, the entire menagerie was awake, and everyone was eager for breakfast. Fluttershy headed for the kitchen and retrieved a box of their favorite animal feed, pausing for a moment to look out her window into the grassy fields outside. She could see the sun rising up over the mountains, into the beautiful blue expanse of cloudless sky. She smiled and let out a sigh of satisfaction, then returned to the main room, the feed box clenched in her teeth.

Fluttershy flew back into the main room, where the animals had gathered in a fairly uneven circle. Each watched anxiously as the cream-colored pegasus settled onto the floor, tucking her wings away and setting the box on the floor. “Now, let’s all be patient and wait our turns. There’s enough for everyone.” The animals did not appear entirely convinced, and Fluttershy’s pet rabbit Angel appeared decidedly impatient as Fluttershy popped the lid of the box open and took it in her teeth once more. She headed toward her squirrel friends and began tilting the box downward.

A sudden thwack sound at the front door gave Fluttershy such a fright, she half-leapt, half-flew straight up to the ceiling and banged her head, a startled squeak escaping her lips. The top of the feed container popped open as it fell out of her jaws, sending a spray of feed in every direction. Fluttershy rubbed her head with one hoof, then looked down at the mess on the floor. All the animals were gazing back up at her, and having ascertained that she was not seriously harmed, they simultaneously set to work eating up the many pellets that were scattered throughout the house. Fluttershy looked down with great concern and trepidation. “O-oh, dear, please,” she whispered, “don’t eat too much, you’ll… oh, you’ll ruin your appetites.” Her animal friends paid her no mind, focused as they were on the bounty of food available.

Fluttershy gave a resigned sigh, then looked toward the door. With a bit of hesitation, she flew over to it and popped it open slightly, peeking through the crack.

On the other side was a gray pony with a flowing blonde mane, sprawled out on the floor of the porch. Her golden eyes were spinning in her head, and her tongue lolled out one side of her mouth. She was wearing a pair of saddle bags stuffed full of letters, a few of which had popped out of the bag and onto the wood deck.

Fluttershy looked her over with concern. “Oh, my, Derpy!”

The pony shook her head, then looked up toward Fluttershy. “G’mornin’, Mish Fluttershy!” She broke out into a happy grin as she planted her front hooves down and pulled herself up. Her right eye was focused on Fluttershy’s worried face, but the other drifted downward aimlessly, giving her a peculiar wall-eyed expression.

Fluttershy pawed nervously at the floor. “Are you okay, Derpy? I heard a loud crash, and, well, you were, that is, um…”

Derpy thought for a moment, then looked to her left and right, inspecting her wings and saddlebags. She then dropped her head to examine her underside carefully. Satisfied, she whipped her head back up. “All good! My bad, hehehe…” She reached back into her saddlebag and drew out three letters. “Here’sh your mail, Mish Fluttershy!”

Fluttershy gave a little laugh as she took the letters and set them aside on a table. “Are you sure? Maybe you should come inside? We’re just sitting down for, um…” Fluttershy looked over her shoulder at the chaotic scene behind her. It was evident that everyone had eaten more than their fill – the mice were settled on the rumps, gnawing away at a pile of pellets they had gathered together; some of the birds were straining themselves to pull their stuffed bodies all the way up to their birdhouses, and Angel was simply flat on his back, his distended belly spread out in all directions. Fluttershy hung her head. “… breakfast.”

Derpy chuckled as she gathered up the rest of the letters. “Thanksh,  but I better get all thish mail delivered. No shnoozing on the job!” She closed up her saddlebags and gave a little wave. “Take care, Mish Fluttershy!”

Fluttershy waved back as Derpy turned around and took off into the air. She smiled as she watched the pegasus depart. Whatever her quirks, Derpy was certainly the most reliable mailmare in all of Equestria. She watched as Derpy vanished into the sky, then turned back toward the house, her smile melting away as she contemplated the cleanup awaiting her. She gave another resigned sigh, then started tiphoofing between overfed animals toward the broom closet.



Derpy laughed for a few moments as she reached the apex of her flight. Flying had never been easy for her, and landing was always the worst. She hoped she hadn’t upset Fluttershy too much – she knew that Fluttershy was about as sensitive as a pony could get. She knew all of her customers, to some extent. There was Filthy Rich, with his regular subscription to the Bale Street Journal (delivered daily all the way from Manehatten), Cheerilee and her postcards from happy former students all around Equestria, Mr. and Mrs. Cake and the many special orders they received from out-of-towners… Derpy never poked her nose too far into other people’s business, but often enough, when good news came, she was lucky enough to be the first one to hear about it from the receiver. Being a mailmare was a great job.

Derpy spotted the familiar orchards of Sweet Apple Acres, and swooped down toward the homestead. She averted her gaze as she began shuffling about in her saddle bag, but suddenly straightened and stopped herself. No! She scolded herself, that’s just what you did last time! Don’t make the same mistake twice! She turned back and saw that her landing had veered off course. She was now heading straight toward the imposing red doors of the barn!

Derpy pounded her wings as the distance closed between her and the door, then tucked them in and shut her eyes. At that close a distance, she couldn’t see very well, anyway. 

She gritted her teeth in anticipation and hit her mark, swooping through the tiny window just above the doors. Her eyes popped open as she fell into a dive, dodging the rafters of the barn’s hay loft and giving the few cows present a terrible fright. The back doors of the barn were open, thankfully, and Derpy swung around and flew back toward the homestead. She saw that Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith had all been out on the porch, and had likely seen the whole thing. She blushed and dropped to the ground, the comfort of the earth on her hooves making her feel a little less conspicuous.

“Whoo-ee, Derpy! Ah’ve hearda barn-stormin’ before, but that’s the first time anyone brought it home to me!” Applejack grinned as she stepped down from the porch and trotted up to meet Derpy.

“Shorry about that, Mish Applejack… my bad!”

Granny Smith shuffled along the bannister of the porch, smiling down at Derpy. “Why, don’t be silly, young lady, that was a ten-gallon feat o’ flying. D’ya happen to have any letters for me in that bag of yours?”

Derpy drew out a set of bills for Applejack, a Great Outdoorspony magazine for Big Mac, and a letter from dear Golden Smith out of Oklahayma City addressed to Granny Smith. “That’sh all! Gotta get off t’Ponyville now!”

Applejack chuckled and gave a wave as Derpy hurried back into the air. “Y’all come back now, y’hear?”

Derpy grinned back down at them and pumped one hoof forward. “Yee-haw!” She shouted as loud as she could, to the delight of the crowd below.



Derpy was a little behind by the time she arrived in Ponyville. She knew better than to get into a tizzy, though… whenever she got stressed, her thoughts always seemed to get away from her, and when that happened, it was easy to get confused, and when that happened, people might get the wrong mail, and Derpy didn’t want that to happen. She took a few moments to mentally map out the remainder of her route, then set off once more.

She made several dozen stops throughout town, visiting houses, shops, restaurants, businesses, and City Hall. She made sure to apologize for her tardiness, even though everyone seemed fine brushing it off and wishing her well. She delivered letters, magazines, newspapers, packages, postcards, and the occasional flyer requested by deal-hungry ponies.

At Carousel Dressmakers, Derpy was greeted by Rarity with a smile on her face. “Well, good afternoon, Derpy!”

“Hi, Mish Rarity! Shorry I took sho long to get here, but your poshtcard here was written all twirly-swirly, and I wasn’t sure who it was for.” Derpy handed over a postcard addressed to Rarity in flowery script.

Rarity chuckled as she gathered it with her horn’s magic. “Oh, darling, that’s just cursive writing.”

Derpy quirked her head, her good eye tilted up in thought. “Curshive? Shomeone’s trying t’put a curshe on you?”

Rarity laughed again. “No, don’t be silly, I mean the writing on it is handwriting, dear.” At that, Derpy looked at her own hoof, puzzling over the concept of handwriting. Rarity caught the hint and sighed. “Well, teeth writing. Well, actually, horn writing; of course, my mother would not be caught dead with a quill in her mouth, you see.”

Derpy shrugged. “Okay! Whatever y’shay! Hav’a nice day, Mish Rarity!”

At Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s shop, Derpy knocked gently at the door. It was less than a second’s wait before the door opened and Pinkie Pie poked her head out. Derpy smiled expectantly at Pinkie Pie, who slammed the door in her face. The pegasus took a confused step backward, then the door flung open once more, with Pinkie Pie standing at the entrance with a tray full of…

“MUFFINS!” Pinkie Pie shouted.

“MUFFINSH!” Derpy repeated with delight, rushing forward and pouncing on Pinkie Pie. Pinkie giggled with delight as the muffins flew up into the air. Derpy’s good eye went into focus, and with her wings stretched out fully, she caught all but two of the six muffins Pinkie had brought out. The other two found their way into Pinkie’s mouth with peculiar ease.

Derpy took one muffin in her hoof and munched cheerfully at it. It was chocolate raspberry, and was absolutely heavenly. Even Derpy’s lazy eye tilted up for a moment of sheer delight. “Mm-hmm-hmm!” She mumbled between bites.

“I know, right?” Pinkie laughed with delight as Derpy finished the last of the muffin. Derpy attempted to store the rest in her saddle bag – two slipped inside, but another tumbled off her wing toward the floor. With a superpony dive, Pinkie narrowly slipped her hoof under the muffin, sparing it from the floor.

“Great catch, Pinkie Pie!” Derpy mumbled, a small stack of letters in her teeth. Pinkie beamed with pride before slipping it into the saddle bag with the other muffins. She took the letters and set them aside, then turned back to Derpy. “Hey! Do you know about Twilight Sparkle’s big picnic shindig party? Are you going to come? Will you come if I make extra-tasty muffins? Super-duper hearty-party yummy-nummy picnic muffins with extra brambleberries?” 

Derpy nodded enthusiastically, her eyes tumbling about in their sockets as she did so. “You bet, Pinkie! Rainbow Dash is gonna be there! D’ya think she’ll wanna race with me? Gosh, that’d be great, wouldn’t it?” She flew in several quick circles around Pinkie Pie, who bounced up and down enthusiastically.

“Yay! Hurray! Oh, boy, it’ll be the Rainbow-Derpy Mach One Million Muffin Marathon!”

“Only one thing, though,” Derpy said, her eyelids narrowing as she paused right in front of Pinkie Pie. Her serious expression gave the room an air of solemnity. “your muffinsh better be… shuper-duper… hearty-party… yummy-nummy… aweshome muffins!” Her expression leapt back to a wide, chipper smile. “With exshtra brambleberriesh!”

“Super-duper hearty-party double-yummy-nummy awesome picnic muffins with LOTS of extra brambleberries!” With the matter settled, Pinkie Pie and Derpy shared a wild high-hooves, and Derpy zipped out the door to Twilight Sparkle’s house.

Twilight Sparkle was outside, sweeping the front walk with a magic-controlled broom. She looked up and saw Derpy zooming down from above, and gave a cheerful wave as the gray pegasus made a slow, cautious approach. “Good afternoon, Derpy! Er, Watch out for the…” her answer didn’t come quite fast enough, as Derpy veered just enough to get herself tangled in a pair of branches.

Derpy shook her head, trying to get her vision straight. She had managed to tangle two legs and one saddle bag among the many smaller branches; no easy feat, given her snail’s pace approach. “Mmrf! Aw, shoot!”

Twilight stepped out directly under Derpy. “Just hold still, all right?” She elevated the broom up and began swinging it gently about, snapping a few smaller twigs and loosening the grip of the branches on Derpy. Before long, Derpy’s weight did the rest of the work, and she slipped down through the branches toward the ground. She swung her wings out and managed to catch herself just a few inches off the ground, right side up for a change.

“Phew! That wash close! Thanksh, Mish Twilight Shparkle!”

Twilight chuckled. “No problem, Derpy. Are you okay?”

Derpy smiled and gave a few proud beats of her wings. “Flying fine, Twilight! Oh! And your book order’sh in! Jusht…” She reached into her bag and handed Twilight a clipboard with an invoice attached. “Shign at the bottom, please!”

Twilight called up a quill from inside the library and scratched her signature out. Derpy tore out the invoice, handed it off to Twilight, then wheeled around and shouted at the top of her lungs, “OKAY, MISHTER ATLAS!”

For a few moments, there was only silence. Then, from the general direction of Cloudsdale, a small white cloud appeared to drift toward Ponyville. It grew in size and definition until, at last, it took the form of a particularly muscular pegasus, toting a heavy pair of canvas saddlebags loaded with books. He snorted and puffed with exertion, occasionally weaving from side to side to balance out the heavy burden.

At that point, Spike came out from the library and stepped up beside Twilight. “Hey, Twilight, isn’t it lunch time yet? I’m starving!” He followed Twilight’s gaze toward the approaching bulk of the pegasus, and, with a frightened gasp, shouted, “INCOMING!” as he bolted back toward the library.

Twilight shook her head and chuckled as the massive pegasus slowed to a halt a few feet above her, letting out an exuberant roar as he gave his muscles a celebratory flex.

“Thanks, Cloud Atlas. Speedy service, as always.” Her horn lit up with magenta light as she eased the books out of the saddlebags, her magic carrying the load with a bare minimum of effort. Atlas gave a brief salute and began the return journey to Cloudsdale, as Spike poked his head out the door. Twilight returned her attention to Derpy. “Are you still coming to the picnic? We’re looking forward to having you!”

“Uh-huh! Pinkie Pie shays there’s gonna be the besht muffinsh ever there! Ho-ho-boy, I can’t wait!” Derpy looked around a bit, suddenly appearing pensive. Twilight cocked her head with concern.

“Is something wrong?”

“Uh…” Derpy looked up for a moment, her eyes settling to their familiar lopsided position. Spike suppressed a giggle, which incited Twilight to give him a reproachful stare. He shrank back a bit at that.

Derpy flew a lazy figure eight as she bit her lip. “Well, it’sh jusht, uh… I jusht hope I don’t, uh, mesh things up… like I shometimes do…” Derpy looked over at Twilight with a worried expression.

Twilight smiled and shook her head. “Don’t be silly, Derpy. It’s just a picnic. What is there to mess up? And besides, you deserve to have a little fun now and then. Nobody delivers the mail better than you.”

Derpy brightened and smiled cheerfully. “Hehe, okay! Well, b’bye, Twilight! Shee you-“ her sentence was cut off as she flew backward into the same branch she was tangled into earlier, briefly knocking the wind from her. She recovered quickly and shook her head, giggling again. “Derp! Hehe… Shee you tomorrow!” With that, she flew off toward Cloudsdale, her mail route finished for the day.

Twilight waved as Derpy departed, smiling earnestly. She had almost forgotten about the heavy pile of books she was magically toting, which were starting to put a strain on her abilities. She trotted back into the library with the tomes in tow.

Spike shook his head as he watched Twilight re-enter the library. “Boy, that Derpy sure is a weird one, huh?” He walked over to the floating book pile, which was another two dozen volumes of knowledge that he would have to shelve and catalog, of course.

“Spike, that’s a terrible thing to say. Derpy is not weird.” Twilight, only half paying attention to Spike’s location, released her magic with a relieved sigh. The books wavered in the air for a moment before toppling to the floor, directly on top of the baby dragon.

Spike popped his head out from the pile and took a gasp of breath. “Not weird? Are you kidding? What, besides the weird eyes, and the weird way she talks, and her weird habit of running into everything and then acting like she can’t figure out why? What kind of weird are you thinking of?”

Twilight turned back to Spike. “Spike, has it ever occurred to you that Derpy might not have a choice about those things? She can’t help being the way she is. She was born that way.” She lifted a quill and began her preferred activity of making a checklist, but Spike persisted.

“Well, what about her name? Derpy? Seriously, that’s weird with a side helping of strange and crazy for dessert! And now I’m feeling hungry again! Are you sure it isn’t lunch time?”

Twilight sighed and set her quill down. “You know, I actually asked Mrs. Hooves about that, once. She told me the whole story…”



“I’m happy to announce,” the doctor said as he entered the room, smiling at the nervous couple, “that your daughter is healthy and will pull through.”

The Hooveses breathed a sigh of relief. It had been a frightening few days for them – nine months into a fairly uneventful pregnancy, Fleet Hooves had begun experiencing terrible abdominal pain, and a trip to Cloudsdale Memorial offered little relief. Their foal would have to be removed from the womb early, or Fleet might not survive the entire term. Champing Hooves was worried for his foal, but he knew that to protest only put the lives of mother and child both in jeopardy. The couple agreed without hesitation to the operation.

The next day, a small foal was extracted from Fleet’s womb, a month and a half early. There were several nervous hours while the good doctor closely monitored the baby pegasus in an incubator, but the filly showed an impressive will to survive. The next day, the doctor came to the Hooveses in the recovery room to give them the good news.

“Will she be… all right, though?” Champing asked. “I mean, growing up…?”

The doctor held up a clipboard as he spoke. “Her heart is healthy, and her breathing is fine. She’ll have smaller wings, but there’s no reason she won’t be able to fly as fast as any pegasus, with the right encouragement and a little extra effort. She is showing indicators of paralytic strabismus – that is to say, her left eye may have difficulty with movement. Her vision will be impaired, but not significantly.” He smiled at the couple, who had looks of apprehension on their faces. “The best thing for your filly, now and always, will be to give her the love and support she needs. Don’t treat her different than you would any other filly, and she should grow up healthy and happy.”

Fleet and Champing nodded eagerly. They had every intention of raising their filly with all the love and caring they could muster.



Twilight smiled at Spike. “When she got older, they also found that she had a speech impediment, and a slight learning disability, but, as you can see, she doesn’t let either slow her down.” Spike had just finished shelving the last of the books, and hopped down from the ladder to the floor.

“Huh, I guess when you put it that way… but you still haven’t explained her name!”

Twilight looked up from her checklist writing. “Huh? Oh, right! Her name!”



Fleet and Champing watched their filly with a smile. It had been six months since they brought her home from the hospital. In that time, they had agreed to name her Bright Eyes, for the brilliant golden hue of her eyes. The infant was still tiny, and lacked even basic motor skills. Whereas most foals possessed at least some capacity for walking, even at birth, Bright Eyes had not yet managed to raise herself to all fours.

It was not through lack of effort, however. At the moment, Bright Eyes was shuffling around on her hind legs, spinning in broad clockwise circles around the living room floor. Champing and Fleet ensured their filly avoided contact with any of the furniture (they had given away most of their breakable furniture, as was customary when expecting a flying foal), guiding her gently by the front hooves. Bright Eyes always looked up at them as they did so with an adoring, albeit asymmetrical gaze, smiling a smile that could melt any heart in all of Equestria.

In her own way, Bright Eyes was something of a dream filly. She cried very rarely, slept soundly, and had few complaints when it came to food. If anything, the only real difficulty she inflicted upon her parents was her insatiable desire, when awake, to simply be doing something. It was rare to see her sitting still, and it seemed to take a full day’s exploration and experimentation to tire her enough for bed time and naps. 

Bright Eyes found herself scooting across the middle of the living room, her tiny wings giving occasional feeble flicks. She came to a halt in the center of the room, and gave a small gurgle of determination as she folded her front left hoof under herself. She grunted with effort as she pushed upward, her right hoof seeking purchase as her body elevated. Before long, however, her left hoof slipped out to the side, and her right followed shortly after. Tilting downward to her right side, Bright Eyes hit the floor with a light thump. From her mouth came a squeak of surprise:

“Derp!”

Champing and Fleet rushed around their infant to ensure she was unharmed, but to their surprise, the young filly was giggling. She swung her rump upward, her blonde tail flying in an arc as she resumed her hind-legged gait. She took only a few steps before the urge to ascend caught her once more. This time, she started with her right leg, which buckled under the strain and dropped her back to the floor, eliciting the same squeak: “Derp!” followed by a bout of giggles.

Champing and Fleet looked at each other and couldn’t help but laugh as well. Their looks of worry were replaced with cheers of encouragement as Bright Eyes experimented with different ways of joining her parents in four-legged gait. Each time she stumbled, she gave a “derp”, laughed, and tried again. She didn’t manage to reach all fours in that day’s efforts, but the seeds of a routine had been planted.

Bright Eyes walked two weeks later, her parents nearly shedding tears as they watched Derpy stumble uneasily about, catching her on their flanks whenever she lost her balance. They guided her gently forward, backward, and in circles, and each time Bright Eyes slipped and fell, she “derp”-ed, laughed, and tried again.

As she grew older, the process repeated itself in other pursuits – she learned to read while compensating for her off-kilter vision, laughing with an occasional “derp” whenever she misread a sentence. While learning to speak, her lisp was heavy and broad, sometimes rendering whole sentences unintelligible. Nonetheless, she spent long nights practicing her remedial material, sounding out words and giving a cheerful “derp” whenever they got away from her. It often took her longer to learn the games that other foals were playing at school, but in the company of a few kind and understanding friends, she found that she was never more than a few “derps” away from comprehension.

Flight school was especially difficult for Bright Eyes. Even by the time her wingspan had reached the size appropriate for flying, she was two years behind her peers, and her wing muscles were weak and imbalanced. She spent months practicing after class, either alone, with teachers, or with her friends from school, but her flights were always very brief, and punctuated by spectacular failures in maintaining her upright posture. She had a tendency to spin to her left side, flipping upside down and crashing downward into the soft clouds. For months, she adhered to her usual ritual – a “derp”, a laugh, and another attempt.

The strain of the failures was beginning to weigh heavily on her after Winter Wrap-Up. The rest of her class, younger and smaller than she, would soon be practicing advanced techniques and endurance flights, while she had still managed no better than five seconds of flight, always with a nasty crash at the end. She had begun to feel pensive about spreading her wings out, those first furtive beats, the mental effort of matching their rhythm and correcting her posture. It was exhausting, and the seemingly effortless learning of her peers began to frustrate her rather than motivate her. She knew that she was different from the others. She knew that it took longer for her to learn things, that getting frustrated didn’t make things any faster, that nopony would be judging her efforts. No matter how she tried to encourage herself, however, for the first time in her life, she was beginning to despair.

On the first day back from winter vacation, Bright Eyes assembled in the Cloudsdale Academy training grounds with the rest of her peers. She watched as older students glided effortlessly through cloud hoops and pylons. Some of the other students, including a few unpleasant ones that never had anything nice to say about Bright Eyes (never to her face, either, though they didn’t seem to mind if she was in earshot), were already floating in the air, practicing basic turns. Bright Eyes watched them with a sad expression, trying to build up her courage.

Their teacher, Gail Force, descended down and called all the students to attention. “All right, everypony! Since were all probably a little rusty from our weeks’ vacation, let’s start with a few easy laps around the track. Remember, nice, even turns!” She lined up the fillies in a row, having them take off one at a time.

Meanwhile, the assistant teacher, Second Wind, was coaching Bright Eyes on the basics of takeoff, running through the checklist of things to consider. Bright Eyes nodded intently, putting on her best brave face. Second Wind moved beside Bright Eyes, and gave her a reassuring smile. “Just remember, Brightie, do your best. That’s all we can do, right? All right, on three!”

Bright Eyes gritted her teeth and tried to focus. The track looked fuzzy and indistinct, and she wanted to rotate her head to get her eyes in alignment. She felt her balance shifting off, and before she even had time to readjust, she realized Second had already called out “three!” and taken off ahead of her. She beat her wings fitfully, gaining a sudden burst of altitude before her perception failed and she keeled forward, nose-first, into the clouds. 

Second Wind wheeled around and moved to help Bright Eyes up. Bright Eyes silently came to her feet, offering only a weak smile as she walked back to the takeoff square. They went through the motions again, Second encouraging her every step of the way. Bright Eyes got a little farther this time, before her flapping came out of sync and she spun out toward the ground. She brushed heavily on her right side, letting out an “oof!” as she struck the clouds.

Her next three attempts went no better. Before long, some of the meaner students had begun to take notice, and they flew close to each other to give little whispers while pointing in her direction. Bright Eyes still couldn’t see particularly well, but she knew well enough when others were talking about her. She wanted to prove them wrong. She wanted to shrug it off. More than anything, she just wanted to fly. As Second Wind counted down for another takeoff, she steeled herself. This time, for sure.

She pounded her wings for takeoff, catching a brief burst of air, but botched her leg tuck, causing her to sink like a rock back to the clouds. As her knees hit the ground and her left wing gave a spasm of discomfort, she looked up once again. The skies of Cloudsdale Academy were thick with flying pegasus students, performing all manner of tricks and acrobatics and simple turns and takeoffs and landings and…

Bright Eyes dropped her head down, and began to cry. It just wasn’t fair.

Second Wind floated down and settled next to Bright Eyes, placing a hoof lightly on her shoulder. Gail Force was doing her best to keep the other students moving, but most had taken note of Bright Eyes’ breakdown, and were constantly craning their necks to sneak looks. The cloud surface of the training grounds was mostly empty, and Bright Eyes knew she was sticking out like a sore thumb. She wished she could bury herself in the cloud… or through the cloud, and down to the ground, where she could just live like an earth pony. She wanted to disappear altogether.

One of her friends broke formation from her classmates and sailed down closer to Bright Eyes. She called out, “c’mon, Derpy, it’s all right! You can do it!”

Bright Eyes looked up from the clouds, blinking back tears. Had she heard right? Was her friend making fun of her? Her good eye focused, and she couldn’t see any malice on her friend’s face. She could be wrong, though… she was wrong often enough.

Two more of her friends joined the first. “Yeah, Derpy!” one of them shouted, “you can do it! We know you can!” The other two voiced their agreement, and they were joined by several other classmates Bright Eyes didn’t know.

“Go Derpy!”

“Yeah, Derpy!”

“Come on! Just have fun, Derpy!”

Second Wind looked over at Gail Force with a mix of confusion and concern. It sounded demeaning, but then again, everybody knew Bright Eyes’ speech habit. Was it friendly or rude?

Bright Eyes looked up at everyone in her class. Their words were a string of encouragement. Even the mean students had either joined in with their support, or simply flown away, pretending a lack of concern. She thought she might feel stressed, or embarrassed, but for some reason, she simply felt… elevated. So what if it wasn’t fair?

A smile creased the corners of her lips. She wiped off her eyes with one leg, then stood up on her feet and shouted, “Derp! My bad!” Without bothering with a takeoff checklist or setting her feet, she simply pounded her wings and caught the air.

The world spun beneath her hooves, but she stopped trying to put it back into focus. She kept her mind on one task – staying airborne. When her wings went out of alignment, she tilted into a dive and spun around as she corrected her rhythm. She gave each motion as little thought as possible, trusting her wings and body to guide her right. Before long, she managed to find a relatively straight line, and for a brief moment, she looked, for all the world to see, like a graceful pegasus soaring through the air.

Her classmates laughed with delight as they slid in beside her. It was a difficult act to follow, as Bright Eyes periodically corkscrewed out of control and had to find a new line to fly by, but they maintained a following formation, learning, in the process, a series of tight turns a full year ahead of their schedule.

Bright Eyes began laughing with delight at the inimitable joy of flight, the feeling of the wind in her face, the currents under her small wings, the brush of her mane against her neck. She wanted to make it last forever. Moreover, she wanted the smile on her face to last forever, and she realized it might well, because she was armed with a powerful truth that no taunts, insults, or disapproval could take from her. She knew that, with a positive attitude and determination, there was not a thing any pony could do that she could not. I’m free, she thought to herself as she beat her tiring wings forcefully, eager for more altitude, I'm where I want to be!

With her classmates cheering her new nickname wildly, Derpy spun upward into the first graceful motions of a forward loop. It lasted for less than a second before Derpy found her wings losing their purchase entirely, and she fell into a wild spiral, landing with a firm thump on the ground. Her teachers, already at a loss as to how to restore order, rushed over to her crash landing.

Derpy plucked her head out from within the clouds, shook her head until her eyes stopped rolling, and smiled up at Gail Force and Second Wind. “Derp! Hehehehe!” She continued to giggle as the other students joined her, eager to offer high hoofs and rump bumps. Derpy took everypony in with her good eye, laughing with delight and feeling on top of the world. Her teachers couldn’t help but join in on the good cheer, and it was a full ten minutes before class was resumed and Derpy started learning the basics of how to land.



“So you see,” Twilight Sparkle concluded, “her real name is Bright Eyes, but only her parents ever call her that. To the rest of us, she just wants to be called Derpy. See? Not weird at all.” She rolled up her checklist with her magic, and tucked it away in one of her saddle bags.

A rough-edged voice at the window asked, “Who’s not weird at all?” Twilight Sparkle turned and saw her good friend Rainbow Dash sailing in through the window. She looked as though she hadn’t been awake particularly long.

“People who can go the whole day without four-hour naps, that’s who.” Twilight grinned at her friend, who grinned right back.

“Guilty! Picnic’s still on for tomorrow?”

“It certainly is! I’ve got my checklist all set for everything we’ll need.”

Rainbow Dash laughed as she lazily floated around the library room. “You’re such a worrier, Twilight. AJ’s gonna bring the baked stuff, Pinkie Pie’s gonna bring cake, Fluttershy’ll probably throw together enough food for the six of us and every furry animal in the park, Rarity’s gonna bring a big umbrella and some music… ‘course, first chance we get, we’re switchin’ that out for my records… heck, all you gotta bring is yourself!”

Spike trotted down the stairs from the second level of the library. “But Rainbow Dash, you guys need to have enough food for seven!”

Rainbow snorted and waved a dismissive hoof. “I’m sure Rarity’s got a ruby or something for you to munch on.”

“But… ooh… that sounds nice…” Spike descended into a trance as he pictured the delectable treat in his mind. 

Twilight Sparkle had laid her saddle bags on her back and was heading for the door. She smiled at Rainbow Dash. “Spike’s going to be busy here at the library. He’s talking about our special guest – I invited Derpy to come along tomorrow.”

Rainbow Dash nearly dropped to the floor when she heard the news. “What? You invited that weirdo? Why?”

Twilight stood at the threshold of the doorway for a moment, silently fuming, before resuming her cheery demeanor. “In the first place, she is not a weirdo, Rainbow Dash. She’s been delivering our mail for as long as I’ve lived here… I thought it might be nice to show a little appreciation for all her hard work.” She headed out the door, descending the path to Ponyville’s marketplace, with Rainbow Dash trailing along behind.

“Appreciation? Ha! For what, the fact that she’s late with the mail, like, what, once a week? And she’s all-“ Rainbow turned her voice to one of mocking imitation, “-‘oh, gee, uh’m sho shorry, Mish Dash, derp derp! Huh huh huh!’” She shook her head. “I mean, I know she’s a little slow and all, but come on! How come we have to act like she’s a normal pony like everyone else?”

Twilight Sparkle very much wanted to ignore her friend’s thoughtless words, so she drew her checklist out from her bag and started reviewing it again, despite having the whole thing memorized from top to bottom. Rainbow Dash persisted.

“She hasn’t even brought me my poster, yet. This year’s Wonderbolts lineup. I ordered it, like, two freaking weeks ago. Y’know, I bet she just lost it, or delivered it to Princess Celestia or something. What a joke.”

Twilight Sparkle had had enough, and wheeled on Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow DASH! When has Derpy ever made a mistake delivering a message? Did you ever think maybe she’s late once a week because she makes a hundred percent sure that everyone gets the right letters? Or did you think that maybe she doesn’t want anypony pointing out that she’s a bit different from us, that she’d be happier being treated the same? It’s just like with Zecora!”

Rainbow Dash shrank a bit under Twilight’s rage. “B-but… I mean, that’s totally different! Zecora’s not dumb or anything!”

Twilight shook her head as she turned to walk away. “Ugh! You know what? If that’s the attitude you’re going to take, maybe you should stay home tomorrow.”

Rainbow Dash looked mortified. “What? No! Twilight, I… I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry! Hey, it’s fine if Derpy wants to come! I won’t say a thing, I promise!”

Twilight Sparkle looked at her friend closely, trotting over to close the gap between them. “Just promise that you won’t make Derpy feel unwelcome, all right? Treat her the way you would any of us.” Rainbow Dash nodded enthusiastically, and Twilight Sparkle gave her a reassuring smile. “You know, you might even find that you like her. Didn’t you say she was a big help in the water raising?”

Rainbow Dash nodded as she looked down toward the ground. “Yeah… she’s got some pretty sweet wing speed, actually. I heard she was born with tiny wings, but man, she sure knows how to use ‘em. It’s just, I mean, the way she bumps into things all the time and stuff, right? No control. Cool, but a kind of crazy cool, know what I mean?”

Twilight Sparkle couldn’t help but laugh. “Crazy cool… now who does that remind me of?”

Rainbow Dash missed the hint.



Later that day, Rainbow Dash was relaxing in her house in Cloudsdale, gearing up for her pre-supper nap. She was feeling a little unsure about the picnic tomorrow, but what the heck, all she really had to do was smile and act nice around Derpy. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Still… she knew it was going to be a stretch not laughing every time she saw Derpy’s wall-eyed expression.

She was just about to pass into blissful slumber when a knock sounded at her door. “Hey, Rainbow Dash! Y’there, Mish Dash?” Rainbow’s ears went down against her head; she recognized the voice instantly.

“Seriously?” She grudgingly pulled herself up from her sofa, stretched her limbs, and floated over to the door. Derpy was standing on the porch with a broad smile, her eyes completely out of whack. Rainbow Dash did her very best to suppress her giggle. “H-hey, Derpy, what’s going on?”

“Uh, you’re gonna be at Twilight Shparkle’s picnic t’morrow, right?”

“Yeah, sure am! Why, what’s up?”

Derpy pawed at the ground for a moment. “Well, uh… c’n I ashk a favor? It’sh real shuper important.”

Rainbow Dash groaned inwardly. She knew this was going to come one day, after she had made the mistake of recruiting Derpy for helping to decorate City Hall. “Yeah, yeah, sure, what kind of favor?”

Derpy smiled again. “Well, shee, uh, since I’m going t’the picnic t’morrow, too, I hadda reschedule my appointment with my shpeech therapisht for the morning, and… well, I ashked Happy Stamp to cover my mail route for me and all, but now she’sh got hershelf shick with equinitis…”

Rainbow Dash nodded half-interestedly. “Uh-huh, uh-huh…”

“Sho, uh… c’n you cover my mail route tomorrow? I’ve got the bag shorted out ‘n’ all, so it’sh a real easy route.”

Rainbow Dash thought it over. It would mean surrendering the better part of her morning, but a mail route would be a breeze for a speedy pony like herself. She could probably get it done in an hour if she really let her wings loose.
“Hey, no problem, Derpster. You do me a favor, I do you a favor, ain’t that right?”

Derpy squealed with delight and flung herself forward, wrapping her hooves around Rainbow Dash’s neck. “Yay! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! You’re the besht, Rainbow Dash!” She nearly pulled Rainbow Dash into the air with her from the excited beating of her wings.

Rainbow Dash gave an uncomfortable laugh as she tried to extricate herself from the hug. “Heh, uh, like I said, no problem…” Derpy persisted in the hug a few seconds longer, then released her and turned to depart.

“All right, sho like I shaid, the letters’re all shet for you, ‘n’ you jusht gotta make shure you put ‘em all in the right mailboxes! Okay?”

“Yeah, fine, whatever, I’m pretty sure I can figure it out.” Rainbow Dash gave a dismissive wave with her hoof.

Derpy took wing and began flying back into Cloudsdale. She turned and waved as she lifted into the air. “Thanksh again, Rainbow Dash! Shee you tomorrow! Bye bye!”

Rainbow Dash gave a half-hearted wave in return. “Swell…”



The next morning, Cloudsdale was its usual bustling self, a lively metropolis full of pegasii making their morning commutes. Most were headed in the general direction of the weather factories, anticipating a busy day of cloud, wind, and rainbow production. Others had turned their attention earthward, traveling to the many jobs in Ponyville that were amenable to those wings. Before long, everyone would be hard at work and the skies would be settled down.

Rainbow Dash fluttered at an easy pace down toward Ponyville’s post office. She had spent the early part of the morning at her regular training – speed, agility, precision, the usual routine. There was a light soreness in one of her shoulders, so she didn’t rush herself. Once she had the mailbag on her shoulders, she’d be able to blast through the route with enough time to take a hot bath and ease the tension out before the picnic. Besides, it was a sunny day, and Rainbow Dash enjoyed the feeling of the warm rays of sunshine on her feathers as she glided lazily downward into town.

She spied her friend Rarity pulling a cart loaded up with fabric out of the market square toward her shop. Rainbow Dash chuckled to herself and dropped into a speedy dive, cutting across Rarity’s path with less than a foot to spare between them. Rarity let out a startled gasp as the sky-blue blur sped by, champing slightly and nearly upsetting her cart. Rainbow Dash spun into a lazy loop and came to a stop in front of Rarity, laughing uncontrollably.

Rarity was less amused. “Well, really, Rainbow Dash, don’t you think it’s a bit early in the morning for this sort of nonsense?”

“Aw, geez, Rarity, lighten up! Think of it is as a morning pick-me-up, y’know?”

Rarity snorted and resumed her trot back to the shop. “I already had my pick-me-up tea earlier this morning, thank you, and it was not nearly so rude.” She smiled at Rainbow Dash, who was floating alongside her, showing that bygones were bygones, as usual. “What brings you down to Ponyville? Aren’t you usually busy with wind production at this hour?”

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Nah, I’m takin’ it easy this morning, doing a favor for Derpy.”

“Oh?”

“Yep. She’s gotta go see her ‘shpeech therapisht’-“ Rainbow Dash made a poor imitation of Derpy’s expression with this, “-so I’m runnin’ the mail today.”

Rarity narrowed her eyelids a bit. “You really shouldn’t be so uncouth, Rainbow Dash. Say, if you’re running the mail, shouldn’t you be on your way? Derpy usually has all the rural stops finished by now.”

Rainbow Dash gave a dismissive snort. “Pfft, please, you’re talking to the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria! If Derpy can get it done in four hours, I’ll get it all finished in two. No, one and a half. No! One hour! No, then they’ll probably ask me to do it again. Two hours.”

Rarity shook her head. “Well, best of luck in that. Heaven knows I’ve got a busy few hours ahead. Duty before pleasure and all that.” She nodded to the pile of fabric in her cart.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “What can ya do, right? See ya at the picnic!” She waved and zipped into the air, making a beeline for the post office.



“Oh, thank heavens!” The postmaster shouted as Rainbow Dash came through the door. “Where have you been? Didn’t Derpy tell you? The mail should have been taken out an hour ago!”

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Oh, it, uh, probably slipped her mind or something, you know how Derpy is.”

The post office was a picture of order and organization, row upon row of little box shelves labeled with the addresses of Ponyville’s many residents behind the clean wood counter. There were shelves with envelopes, quill ink, and writing and scroll paper along the walls, along with packages of stamps and sealing wax. The sun shone in through several windows, reflecting off the neat hardwood floor.

The postmaster, however, did not fit the look of the office at the moment. A chestnut-colored earth pony of advanced age, he was clearly frazzled and worried, and looked like he had been pacing for some time. His gray moustache drooped low, as if he had yanked it to the ground out of nervousness. “Well, that’s so unlike her… well, no time for worrying about that. Thank goodness you’re here, I was afraid I might have to close the office and deliver them myself.” He brought a pair of saddle bags over the counter, each one thick with letters. There were a few small packages jutting out along the edges, including a cylinder that seemed like it might fall right out of the bag. “I’ve added the overnight deliveries to the back of the left-side bag, so if you have a moment… well, you’d best sort through them on the go, time’s a bit… well! I won’t keep you!” He held the bag strap out, and Rainbow Dash flew over to slip underneath it.

“Don’t sweat it, old man, I got this covered! Heck, I’ll be back before lunch!” She flew to the door and waved to the postmaster, who gave an unconvinced wave back.

Rainbow Dash flew straight into the air and checked the letters in the left-side bag, flipping to the back for the unsorted ones. Better to get those out of the way first, after all. She couldn’t help but notice that there were an awful lot of letters in that bag, along with a few hefty packages. She flipped open the right-side bag, finding it to be equally stuffed. Still, with a bit of luck and a lot of speed, she felt comfortable hitting her target. Scoring a nap before the picnic was still on the table.

Her first few stops were all in and around Ponyville. She shot between each location, whizzing down streets and around corners with a fierce grin of determination on her face. Some ponies were at their doors, giving Rainbow Dash brief greetings. She stopped to converse with a few of them, but avoided staying for long at any one given location. She couldn’t afford to let herself fall behind, not when a bath and a nap were on the line.

Rainbow Dash was almost through the unsorted pile. The last two letters were frustrating, though – one was going to Sweet Apple Acres, the other to the letter box Zecora maintained at the edge of the Everfree Forest. In other words, they were on opposite sides of town. She considered her options, before deciding to hit Zecora’s letter box first. It was farther away, but according to the clock, she had only been working for ten minutes. She was pretty sure she was doing better than she needed to.

She flew upward toward the clouds and spotted the fringes of the Everfree forest. Smiling to herself, she primed her wings for racing speed, and bolted forward. She felt her shoulder twitch slightly as she straightened into her aerodynamic glide – the saddle bag strap had been digging into her shoulders. Who would have thought piles of paper could be so heavy? She wasn’t about to let it bother her, though, and defiantly pounded her wings harder. Soon enough, she arrived at the letter box, and tossed the small scroll inside.

A light breeze came up from the mountains, and Rainbow Dash let out a sigh of delight. A thin sheen of sweat had coated her neck after that run, and the air felt marvelous running through her mane. “Hmm… maybe just a quick minute to chill out,” she told herself. She shucked the mailbag and settled down on her back, looking up into the clouds.

Five minutes later, she stretched her limbs out, yawned, then slid her neck under the mailbag and groaned as she felt the familiar weight return. It was beginning to become a noticeable burden to drag around. With an irritated sigh, she took to the air and started flying toward Sweet Apple Acres. She opted against rushing it this time – she could save her top speed for the final leg.

After a languid ten minute flight, she found herself on the border of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack was pulling a cart along the treeline near the fence, roping down some of the riper apples for future sale. Big Macintosh was nearby, collecting them in a cart. Rainbow Dash settled into a hover by the fence and waved. “Heya, Applejack!”

Applejack looked over toward the fence and tossed her rope onto her back. “Howdy, Rainbow Dash! What brings you ‘round these parts?”

Rainbow fetched the letter out of her mailbag, clutching it between hoof and horseshoe. “I’m on mail duty today. Covering for Derpy.”

Applejack took the letter with a chuckle. “Well, that sure ‘splains why it’s so durned late. How come she’s got you runnin’ round instead o’ Happy Stamp?”

“I dunno, hay fever, or something? Heck, what difference does it make, just so long as it gets here, right?”

Applejack grinned. “That’s why you ain’t in charge o’ the mail. Say, is this all we got? No bills or nothin’?”

“Uhh…” Rainbow Dash shuffled through the letters in her left-side bag, then the right. Finally, she withdrew a pair of bills and handed them over, blushing a bit. “Whoops, heh… yeah, that would’ve made a lot more sense, wouldn’t it?”

Applejack chuckled. “No harm done. You gonna be finished in time for Twi’s picnic? Looks like you still got a heck of a load, there.”

Rainbow Dash looked at the heavy bags with a bit of apprehension, but gave a nervous chuckle. “Ha, this? This is nothing. Fastest pegasus in Equestria, AJ, I got this all under control!” She turned up the road and took off at a trot as she spread her wings out. “Better get on the rest of this stuff, then! Later!”

Big Mac paced up beside Applejack, who was watching her friend take off into the air. She tipped her hat back on her head and frowned a bit. “She ain’t gonna be on time for no picnic, I reckon.”

Big Mac nodded. “Eeyup.”



Rainbow Dash opted to make the package deliveries next, rationalizing that she’d be a lot faster once she got the heavy weight out of the bags. The box-shaped packages were all in Ponyville, and after she finished delivering them, she consulted the cylinder. To her great irritation, the ink on the address had been blotched. Worse, it was a Cloudsdale delivery, and as much as she wanted to head back in the direction of home, there were still a lot of letters left to be handed out. She narrowed her eyes, trying to make out the writing, but gave up after a few seconds. There was no point in putting herself out over it. She drifted back toward the post office.

The postmaster looked up from a ledger he was writing in and blinked with surprise. “Rainbow Dash! You’re back already? Are the deliveries-“

Rainbow Dash tossed the cardboard cylinder onto the counter. “The address is messed up on that one. Can’t read it.”
The postmaster looked down at the package with confusion for a moment, then back up at Rainbow Dash, who was heading out the door again. “Then… the rest of the…”

“I’m on it! Sheesh! I told you, don’t worry about it!” She hurried out in a huff, taking wing with renewed vigor. The postmaster watched her depart apprehensively, looking down at the cylindrical package before tossing it into the “return to sender” box. He went to the window and looked out at the sky, very much missing his usual mailmare.



Rainbow Dash ran a flustered hoof through her mane, looking out around Ponyville. “Okay,” she said as she took several deep breaths, “no problem. No problem at all. I’ll just follow the route. I’ve still got-“ she turned her attention over to the clock tower, and her eyes popped out – it was almost eleven! “What? What? When did that happen?” Her mind raced as she considered her position. Derpy usually had the route finished by noon; one-thirty at the very latest. She’d fallen behind a little, sure, but she could make up the difference. And if she was a little late, so what? It was her first day on the job; there were bound to be a few hitches. Besides, without those heavy packages, she was sure she could get around that much faster.

Feeling assured, Rainbow Dash looked into her right mailbag and gave a gasp of horror. The letters had been completely shuffled about with the removal of the packages. She rapidly flipped through them, beads of sweat building on her brow as the magnitude of the snarl became clear. She didn’t know Derpy’s route at all, and while she knew the lay of the land well enough, she wasn’t certain she could pick out an optimal route just by addresses. “Oh man, oh man, oh man!”

She took a deep swallow, then gritted her teeth. There was only one solution to this problem – speed. She would have to fly like she never had before to get the deliveries done on time. She shot out in the direction of Fluttershy’s house.



Fluttershy had just finished packing the last of the sandwiches for the picnic. She had labored over them for the better part of the day, attending to the flower filling and precise cut with a practiced eye. Food was as much for show as it was for consumption, in her mind, and no less would do for her very best friends. She went to the front of her home and opened up her front windows, closing her eyes as she took in a deep breath of the fresh air.

A bolt of blue shot through the window, bowling Fluttershy over. It spun around the table, knocking over the picnic basket and emptying its contents all over the floor. With her chin resting on the floor and her flanks draped over a small cabinet, Fluttershy dimly noted the mess of sandwich remains spreading out on the floor. A pair of letters had been deposited on the floor, and the blue flash had disappeared out of the same window it came in from. With a groan, she flapped into the air and looked back out the window. She caught a brief glimpse of a pegasus rocketing off in the direction of Ponyville – was that…?

She looked back at the sandwiches and gave a forlorn sigh. Her animal friends had pounced on the remnants with greedy abandon. Oh, well, if it was worth doing once…



Rainbow Dash was in a world of pain. She had finished the rural deliveries, and had emptied out the entire right bag and most of the left, but the strain had taken a serious toll on her body. Her shoulder was aching with pain, her wings were cramping periodically, and her lungs were burning from exertion. She had just come out of Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s bakery, and with a sigh of frustration, drew out the next letter.

“Oh, no! NO! You have got to be kidding me!” The next letter was addressed to Twilight Sparkle, a house she had already visited – twice, in fact. She had missed letters at eight stops now, and her flight path was beginning to resemble a spider’s web cast over all of Ponyville (along with an extra stop at Zecora’s mailbox that had necessitated a ten-minute rest). It was past one o’clock.

She flapped her wings with the remnants of her strength, urging herself further. The picnic had already started, but if she finished in fifteen minutes, maybe she could take a quick dip in a lake on the way. Fifteen minutes! Surely she could manage fifteen minutes!

Behind her, she heard a voice calling her name. “Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!” She tried to ignore it, but the voice only got closer. Her wings were simply too tired for outrunning her pursuer. She wheeled around.

“What? What? Can’t you see I’m-“ she silenced herself as she saw the identity of her pursuer – it was the Mayor, who had a letter sticking out of her pocket. “O-oh! Miss Mayor! Uh, what can I do for you?”

The Mayor drew the letter out of her breast pocket and gave it to Rainbow Dash. “My secretary found this among the letters delivered today – it’s addressed to Carousel Dressmakers.”

Rainbow Dash took the letter and stared at it with horror. “What? No! But I…” she rubbed her head with one hoof, her shoulder squealing in pain as she did so.

The Mayor trotted back down the street, calling over her shoulder, “you’d best hurry up, Rainbow Dash, it’s almost half past one now.”

Rarity’s shop was a five-minute flight from Twilight Sparkle’s. And she still had ten more letters to deliver.



At Steepleplace Meadows, Twilight Sparkle’s picnic was in full swing. Rarity had brought some delightful records that were filling the air with invigorating classical music. Fluttershy had managed to reassemble the sandwiches into a lunch she was proud to serve her friends. Applejack had shown up a half-hour late, having taken Apple Bloom and her friends down to the nearby lake for a swim, but her basket of assorted apple treats was still warm inside the blanketed basket she had brought. She was currently engaged in tossing a Frisbee around with Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and Derpy. 

“Here she comes, Derpy!” Applejack shouted between her clenched teeth as she whirled the disc in Derpy’s direction. Derpy watched the disc in motion before giving her wings a quick snap and intercepting the Frisbee several feet in the air. It had been difficult to keep track of the neon green disc’s position in the air, but she had been determined to get it right. After ten failed attempts, she had developed a sense for it, and caught the Frisbee twice as often Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle could manage. She grinned with delight as she tossed it toward Twilight.

“Horn catch, Twilight! You can do it!” Derpy shouted. Twilight had been attempting the elusive trick for the past hour, without a shred of success. She was silently wishing she had reread that book on flying objects and their trajectories… it all made sense on paper, but that piece of plastic seemed to have a mind of its own. She ran alongside it, trying to will the Frisbee downward toward her horn. After a few seconds, her wish was granted – the Frisbee turned down and came straight for her. Before she had time to adjust, it slipped below her horn and bopped her between the eyes.

“Ouch!” Twilight Sparkle’s eyes spun in her head as the world spun around her. Derpy flew over to her with a look of concern on her face.

“Oh, gosh, I’m sho shorry, Twilight! You okay?”

Twilight Sparkle finally got her focus back on Derpy’s bright golden eyes. She groaned as she gave a feeble grin. “Ooh… derp, hehe…”

Derpy grinned back and extended a helping hoof, which Twilight Sparkle accepted gratefully. She came shakily to her feet, grinning at Applejack and Pinkie Pie, who had joined with Derpy in their concern. “I’m… not sure a horn catch is gonna happen today. I think I’m going to go have another sandwich.”

Applejack nodded her agreement. “Suits me. Y’got anymore o’ them fine brambleberry muffins in that basket o’ yours, Pinkie?”

“Do I?” Pinkie Pie laughed as she gestured the others over to the large picnic blanket. Her basket was sitting innocently at one corner, and Pinkie Pie trotted directly to it and dropped a hoof on a small pedal jutting out from its side. There was a sudden cacophony of big band noise as streamers shot out from the basket in every direction and a platform covered with a wide variety of muffins elevated out of the basket. Confetti began streaming down through the air like snow, and if one’s senses were to be believed, it actually looked like there was a spotlight on the picnic basket.

Applejack leaned over to Twilight Sparkle. “Someday, I’d sure like it explained to me how in Equestria she does that.”

Twilight Sparkle nodded in agreement. “You and me both.”

Derpy raised no such objections, her eyes widening with delight at the cornucopia of muffins. Pinkie gathered one in her hoof and tossed it in Derpy’s direction. Derpy snapped it up in her mouth, biting off the bottom half and catching the top in one hoof. She chewed with unrestrained delight.

Rarity trotted over to take one for herself. “Say, you don’t suppose Rainbow Dash has forgotten about us? It must be past two by now.”

The others pondered for a moment. “Well,” Applejack said, “when I last saw her, she was wearin' out her wings tryin’ to get all them letters delivered. Maybe she tuckered herself out at it?”

“Naw, not Rainbow Dash,” Derpy replied with a smile. “I bet she’sh just getting shtuff from her house for the picnic or shomething. It washn’t very busy for lettersh today.”

“Ooh! I know! Maybe she’s bringing a gazebo!” Pinkie Pie suggested, eliciting stares from everyone.

“Umm…” Twilight started tentatively, “why do you think she would bring a gazebo?”

Pinkie Pie gestured around Steepleplace. “Well, we’ve got food, we’ve got music, we’ve got a blanket, we’ve got drinks, we’ve got games, we’ve got sunshine, we’ve got trees, we’ve got Fluttershy-“ she pulled Fluttershy down from a conversation with a small flock of butterflies, “-we’ve got ketchup and mustard, and I brought a banjo, just in case we need more music! And the lake’s a little far away, but it would be crazy if she tried to bring a lake! So the only thing we’re missing is a gazebo!”

Everypony looked at everypony, not at all sure how to respond to that. However, they were spared the necessity when Derpy pointed past the trees in the direction of the Ponyville road. “There she ish! Hey! Rainbow Dash! Over here! We’re over heeeeere!” She waved her front hooves wildly.

They all watched as Rainbow Dash trudged down the meadow toward the picnic site. To everyone’s surprise, she was not flying – her wings were tucked tightly against her body. “Why is she walking?”

“Maybe she’s dragging a gazebo behind her,” Pinkie Pie suggested.

Derpy squinted. “I don’t see a gazebo…”

Pinkie Pie considered for a moment. “Maybe it’s an invisible gazebo?”

At last, Rainbow Dash came within speaking distance of the group. She looked bedraggled, her mane a tangled mess and her tail hanging limp between her legs. She regarded her friends with a half-awake smile and gave a weak wave. “H-hey, guys! What’ve I missed?”

Derpy floated over with a muffin in her hooves. “Muffinsh, that’sh what!” She held out the muffin to Rainbow Dash, who looked between Derpy and the muffin wearily.

“Yeah… great… maybe after a little water… or something…” Rainbow Dash slumped over to the picnic blanket and sprawled out over it, letting out a groan of relief. She rubbed one shoulder gently as the other ponies came around her, Applejack bringing a bottle of water along. Derpy left the muffin at Rainbow Dash’s other side.

“You look like you ran a marathon, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight Sparkle observed.

“Yeah, with a gazebo tied to your hooves,” added Pinkie Pie.

Derpy sat down next to Rainbow Dash, who had opened the bottle of water and was hastily chugging it down. “Didja get the mail all done, Mish Dash? Was it real hard?”

Rainbow Dash let out a satisfied sigh as she tossed the empty bottle aside, then grinned weakly at Derpy. “H-ha, no problem for the… fastest pegasus in… all of… Equestria.” She dragged herself to her feet. “What about… you? Things were good with… your, heh… ‘shpeech therapisht’?”

Derpy nodded happily, ignoring the slight. “Uh-huh! She says I’m doing better’n ever! Lisshen!” She cleared her throat and closed her eyes, bringing a hoof to her chest. Taking a deep breath, she recited, “She sells sea shells by th’ sea schore… aw! Derp!” She giggled at the last word’s slurring, and Twilight Sparkle patted her on the shoulder.

“That’s great, Derpy! I sure can’t handle a tongue twister like that one,” Twilight Sparkle said.

Pinkie Pie gave a confident wave of her hoof. “Oh, that’s an eeeasy one. Ahem. ‘She sells smee schmells by the she sore.’ See?” She grinned.

“She sells sea shells by th’ sea shore!” Applejack added.

“She sells sea shells by the shee… argh!” Twilight Sparkle said with a laugh.

Derpy flapped her wings excitedly. “She sells sea shells by the sea shore! YES! Haha!” Everyone laughed, with the exception of Rainbow Dash, who chewed half-heartedly at her muffin. Fluttershy offered a sandwich as well, which Rainbow Dash snatched up without a word of thanks.



The picnic continued on as Rainbow Dash sat in the shade of a tree, drinking more water and watching the others. Fluttershy sat with her, nibbling daintily at a sandwich. The others were cheering Applejack and Derpy in a game of tug-of-war. When Applejack started showing advantage, Pinkie Pie hopped in to join on Derpy’s side, throwing Applejack off-balance as she tumbled over the line. The group laughed together as Derpy and Pinkie Pie shared a high-five. Rainbow Dash groaned.

Fluttershy giggled as she watched. “It sure is nice having Derpy along,” she commented, “she’s such a sweet person, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, sure,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “So she can deliver mail. If I did it every day for however long she’s been doing it, I’d be able to do it in an hour, easy.”

Fluttershy looked at Rainbow Dash with concern. “Are you sure you’re all right, Rainbow Dash? You’ve been a little out of sorts since you arrived. Maybe you should go home and rest?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Oh, sure, I’m the one who has to go home, just because I happen to have a different opinion, right?”

“Well, no, that is, I mean, you don’t have to… you don’t seem very happy, though.”

“Oh… yeah, no, it’s nothing…” Rainbow Dash sighed. She wasn’t being fair to her friends. Still, it nagged at her seeing everyone treating Derpy like a fragile piece of glass, too sensitive to lose or take a joke. She didn’t have a problem with Derpy, of course. It wasn’t like she was being mean or anything – she was just acknowledging what was in front of everyone’s faces. What was wrong with that?

Rainbow Dash pulled herself up and stretched. “Nothing wrong at all!” She trotted down to join the others, who were lining up for another battle, balancing Derpy and Applejack against Twilight, Pinkie, and Rarity. “Hey guys, this doesn’t look too fair! How about I balance it out a bit?” With a chuckle, she took up the rope on Twilight’s side, right behind Rarity.

Twilight Sparkle looked back at Rainbow Dash with a frown, but Derpy looked delighted. “Haha, okay! You’re going dooown!” She was the first to clench the rope in her teeth. Applejack shrugged behind her and took the rope up as well, and the other side followed suit.

“Give it your all, guys!” Rainbow Dash shouted with a grin as she took up the rope as well. Fluttershy had floated down to join them, and blinked as she looked at the uneven distribution.

“Oh, umm…”

“GO!” Rainbow Dash shouted between clenched teeth.

For the first few moments, Twilight’s side seemed to have a distinct advantage, dragging Applejack and Derpy forward by their hooves. Applejack’s eyes narrowed as she dug her hooves into the grass and gave a heave, with Derpy flapping her wings in support. The battle slowed to a stalemate, with neither side able to gain an inch.

Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth in frustration as she beat her wings fitfully. “C’mon, pull! PULL!” Her team gave another heave, and just as they seemed to have the advantage, Rainbow Dash suddenly felt a burst of momentum from the other side. Before she had even a moment to react, the four ponies tumbled forward in a tangled heap. Rainbow Dash could hear Derpy’s laughter over the ringing in her ears.

“Great shave, Fluttershy!” Derpy pronounced, the two pegasii hovering on either side of Applejack. Fluttershy blushed as she looked away.

“Aw, what?” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Fluttershy?”

“I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy stammered, “I just didn’t think it looked very fair, and since I’m not all that strong anyway, I thought, well…”

Applejack clapped Fluttershy on the shoulder. “You thought you’d give ‘er a tug fit to knock a barn over, that’s what! Atta girl, Fluttershy!”

Rarity pulled herself up and looked down in disgust at her legs, which were now powdered with a light film of dirt. “Ah! This is why I prefer not to be mixed up in such silly contests! I think I’m going to go enjoy some time in the shade.” She trotted away with her nose high in the air, eliciting some sniggering between Applejack and Derpy. Derpy then floated over to Rainbow Dash, offering a hoof up, which was reluctantly accepted.

“Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash scolded as she got back to her feet, “you can’t just jump in on things like that. It’s not like Derpy didn’t have it under control or anything.”

“Aw, c’mon, Rainbow Dash, it’sh jusht a game, right? Wanna go one-on-one?” Derpy gave the rope an enticing kick. Rainbow Dash, considered, then got an idea that put a devilish grin on her face.

“One-on-one, huh? Well, if that’s how it’s gonna be, how about… a race? Pegasus versus pegasus? Winner is the champ for the day!”

“A race? All RIGHT! It’sh SHO on!” Derpy flapped her wings with glee. “Whaddaya wanna do? How ‘bout to that big rock over there-“ she pointed to a large boulder sitting atop a hill off in the distance, “-and back?”

Rainbow Dash flapped over, took the measure of the rock, and rubbed her chin. “Well, that’d be fine for a plain old ordinary race, but since this is to determine the champ for the day, let’s throw in a little extra, huh? To the rock… then up to that cloud up there… back down to the rock… and then!” Rainbow Dash gave a couple of moments to let the suspense build, before pointing to the edge of the forest that ran along the border of Steepleplace Meadows, “you have to slalom through ten of those trees before coming back to the picnic basket finish line!”

Derpy looked uncertainly over at the trees. “Uh… ten of ‘em? That’sh… uh…”

Rainbow Dash gave Derpy a nudge. “Too tricky for you?”

Derpy looked down a bit. “It’sh just, I haveta be careful on turnsh, ‘caushe I can’t always see where… um…”

Rainbow Dash gave a conciliatory nod. “I gotcha, Derpy, you’re right. How about if I give you a ten-second head start? We both know you’re fast on straightaways, right? And we’ll have Fluttershy over there to make sure I don’t cheat on those turns! How’s that?”

Twilight Sparkle trotted up beside Derpy and glared over at Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow Dash, why don’t you just race to the rock and back? What difference does it make?”

Derpy turned to Twilight Sparkle with a smile, her good eye catching the afternoon sun’s gleam. “It’sh fine, Twilight Shparkle! If I don’t try it, I’ll never learn, right?”

“Well, sure, but… if you don’t feel comfortable about it, Derpy…”

“Comfortable? It’sh jusht a race. Beshides,” Derpy turned to Rainbow Dash and grinned, “I’ll beatcha with just a five-shecond head shtart! How’s that sound?”

Rainbow Dash felt a bit slighted by the suggestion. “O-oh yeah? Well, let’s just see, then! Come on!”



With Derpy and Rainbow Dash lined up at a makeshift start and finish line of picnic baskets, Twilight Sparkle looked over in the distance toward Applejack and Fluttershy, positioned at the boulder and the treeline, respectively, and gave a signal, which was returned promptly. Everything was in order. Rarity would give the signal for Derpy’s departure, with Twilight signalling Rainbow Dash five seconds later. Pinkie Pie had positioned herself in the middle of the triangular route, ready to commentate (apparently for her own benefit, since she lacked a loudspeaker or microphone).

Derpy had been studying the route carefully. The boulder was too far in the distance to bring into direct focus, but she had learned, over many years of flying, how to estimate distances against how fast she felt like she was moving. She had no illusions – she would need to move very fast in the early going if she was going to give herself the time necessary for the slalom portion. She didn’t really like her chances, but she so rarely got offered the opportunity to race, she wasn’t about to turn it up now.

Rainbow Dash stretched her limbs one more time, testing her muscles. There was still a nagging twinge in her shoulder, but the downtime had given her the opportunity to recover her breath and get some energy back. Even at half her prime form, she could fly with the very best, and with that thought in mind, she dropped into a starting position, ready for takeoff.

Derpy offered a hoof to Rainbow Dash. “May the besht flier win!” 

Rainbow Dash smacked it firmly.

“Darn right!”

Twilight Sparkle spared one last worried look to Derpy, then nodded at Rarity, who returned the gesture.

“Ready then, Derpy dear?” Rarity asked. “In three! Two! One! GO!”

All at once, Derpy was off like a shot. It was clear sailing all the way to the boulder, and she beat her wings fiercely, eager to gain as much momentum as possible. She had her legs spread long underneath her, years of practice at maintaining her balance paying off as trees zipped by on either side. Almost before she realized it, the boulder was closing fast in front of her. She veered slightly to the right and approached it at an arc, her right eye remaining focused on the prize the whole time. Under Applejack’s careful gaze, she clapped her hoof against the boulder and arrowed up into the sky.

Rainbow Dash watched the scene unfold before her eyes, losing her focus for a moment as she watched Derpy streak across the green field. She could hardly believe it – she knew Derpy was fast, but in the space of four seconds, the grey pegasus had practically erased the distance to the boulder. Her heart began to race faster as her competitive spirit came to fore – whatever the race, whatever the stakes, she was the fastest pony in Equestria, and would give every ounce of herself to prove it. As Twilight Sparkle shot a magic signal into the air, Rainbow Dash blasted away from the starting line, pounding her wings toward top speed.

Derpy had closed her eyes as she flew skyward. She didn’t need sight to tell her when she was through the cloud, and there was a thrilling surety in her direction that only urged her to faster speeds. She wanted to laugh joyously as the felt the air whistling through her mane, she wanted to celebrate every moment of this rare thrill, but she held her energy in check. There was still a lot of race left, and it was only going to get harder.

At last, she felt the sensation of moisture wicking on her feathers, before the sun glowed brighter on her body. She opened her eyes and looked up into the dazzling blue sky. She was right on target. She arched her legs and pushed her wings into a reverse flip dive.

Rainbow Dash felt the soreness of her day’s labors sink back into her wings with frightening speed. She had to push herself faster, all thanks to that lousy five-second advantage. She stretched herself wider, pushing to minimize wind resistance as the boulder came ever closer. With her options tightening, she decided to try a daring move. She pointed her front hooves directly at the boulder’s round top, and at the last possible instant, planted them forcefully against the top of the rock, immediately following with a kick from her back legs to propel herself skyward at a nearly right angle.

As Derpy barreled downward through the cloud, a sudden wave of disorientation hit her. She had spun too hard, and gotten light-headed; her wings began to flap out of sync, and her eyes lost focus. She gave a wail as she felt the air rush out from under her wings, and fell into a plummet. Outside the cloud, the sky and the ground whirled around her, and she struggled to regain a semblance of direction. Don’t overthink it, she scolded herself, just make it happen. Too much thinking frustrated her, and frustration made her despair. She wasn’t willing to despair.

Rainbow Dash spotted Derpy emerging from the cloud above, and realized with fear that Derpy was in a tailspin. Her wings weren’t aligned at all, and her eyes were wide with fear. On instinct, Rainbow Dash slowed to intercept the falling pegasus, ready to catch her if need be. It wasn’t worth seeing anyone hurt in this race.

It took Derpy a moment to find a sense of calm amid the whirling vortex of color and shape around her. She had been in this situation before, and had managed her way out. She beat her wings slowly, waiting to feel that ineffable sweet spot that had informed her flying for so many years. She splayed her legs out to slow her descent and give her stability, and before long, she was falling parallel to the ground. She took a deep breath, adjusted her eyes toward the boulder on the ground, and dropped into a headlong dive. As she tightened her wings behind her, the old feelings of confidence came back in a sudden rush of inspiration. She did not even notice as she shot past Rainbow Dash, barely a foot between the two. She gave the boulder a gliding tap with one hoof as she leveled out along the curve of the hill, aiming for the edge of the forest.

Rainbow Dash gaped at Derpy’s sudden recovery, a jolt of indignation shooting through her. It was a trick! Derpy would be cutting through the trees in no time. Rainbow Dash looked up toward the cloud. There was still half the distance toward it, and she’d surrendered a great deal of speed on her interception route. Without a moment to lose, she strained to push her wings into top gear. The wear and tear from the day’s exertions wore heavily, and she was forced to take a spiral pattern upward, stretching herself out to carve through the thinner atmosphere. When she finally burst through the upper limit of the cloud, she whipped herself around as fast as her wings could bear, tilting into an eye-watering headfirst dive.

As Derpy closed the gap between herself and the trees, she forced herself to slow to a manageable pace, her good eye tracking and measuring the distance between the trees. It was going to be tight, and she knew that every turn would count. She had to push through each turn as fast as she could manage, knowing full well that Rainbow Dash was probably only a breath  behind her. If she gave up more than five seconds, she didn’t stand a chance on the final straightaway. 
She entered the first turn and banked hard to the right, almost losing her balance and spinning off into the open meadow. With a quick check of her wings, she curled through the next gap, trusting her memory and instinct. The next few curves came with greater ease, and Derpy’s smile widened as she realized she might yet have a chance of winning, after all. 

Rainbow Dash tried to keep focused on the boulder below, but the anxiety in her belly was impossible to ignore. She spared a look toward the trees and saw Derpy flitting in and among them. Worse, she was moving far faster than Rainbow Dash had anticipated. She moaned in frustration – why had she given her that lead? She had to make up the lost ground. Her reputation was staked on this race, no matter who she was up against. She started to glide out into a horizontal, her eyes glued to Derpy’s progress through the trees. She vaguely heard Applejack cheering her on in the distance, but she was going to need a lot more than cheers to make up this distance.

Derpy had stopped worrying as she pulled into the final three turns. This had gone far better than she had anticipated – she felt like she could spin figure eights through the trees. She put her wings to work, propelling her faster and faster through the turns, and triumphantly shot around the last tree trunk, her eyes turning to the finish line.

Before she could draw herself into a sprint, however, she saw Fluttershy waving excitedly at her right. “Derpy! Wait!” She pointed urgently toward the trees. “You missed one! The seventh gap!”

Derpy tilted her head in confusion, then looked back at the trees. Hadn’t she…? She groaned and curled back toward the trees. Fluttershy wouldn’t lie. She hadn’t been counting her turns, like she knew she should. She had become too focused on speed, and lost her attention to detail. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied Rainbow Dash zeroing in on the first of the trees, and her heart sank for a moment. 

Don’t give up! She reminded herself. She saw the barn window, so small, so tight, it was impossible to make that move… she dragged against her own momentum in a fierce U-turn, whirling through the seventh gap and measuring out her pace for the last three turns. Win, lose, she would get this right. She closed her eyes for a brief instant, letting the vertigo of darkness invade her senses, then popped them open. She saw the path in front of her, shining as if it were painted with gold.

Rainbow Dash cut through the trees as fast as her wings would allow, wondering if she could possibly muster the energy for the final sprint that would let her overtake Derpy. Fast turns like this were her specialty – the gaps were wide as a river, to her eyes. She was a picture of grace and control as she slipped through final turns: five, four, three…

Suddenly, she spotted a flash of gray shooting out of the trees toward the finish line. Could that have been Derpy? All at once, she realized that she had closed the gap much tighter than she had imagined. If Derpy was just now on the final stretch, then…

Rainbow Dash wasted no time, diving through the final two turns and pouring every last ounce of her effort into beating her wings. It was a short distance to the finish line, and she kept her eyes fully focused on it, sparing not a glance to her competitor. She had to move faster. She had to.

Derpy stretched herself wider, desperately trying to coax more speed from her wings. She didn’t care how badly she might crash afterward, but she needed to know that she had given ounce of herself in this race.

She could hear labored breathing behind her, and she knew that Rainbow Dash was closing the distance between them. She had no illusions about her own speed… Rainbow Dash would beat her in a sprint, given enough time. The finish line was close, though. She just might have speed enough…

Twilight and Rarity cheered wildly as they watched the two pegasii hurtle toward the finish line. They had collaborated on a spell to put a magic ribbon along the finish line, an ideal indicator for the first to cross. Twilight Sparkle could hear Pinkie Pie running from her observation perch in the middle of the park, still narrating excitedly to no-one in particular. She had little doubt that Fluttershy and Applejack were likewise hurrying over to see the final finish. It looked like it would be decided by less than a hair.

Derpy could feel the wind from Rainbow Dash’s flapping against her back legs. The blue pegasus had pulled even. She thought she could see the brilliant color of her opponent’s rainbow mane in the corner of her eye. She could see Twilight Sparkle and Rarity whooping at the finish line, the checkered blanket beneath their hooves, the brown picnic baskets and assorted treats. Applejack and Fluttershy were off in the distance, hurrying toward them. Pinkie Pie was a jolt of neon color on top of a grassy hill. The grass was a beautiful shade of green, catching the sunlight as it danced in the light breeze. The sky was a deep and rapturous blue, stretched out over their heads like a limitless ocean. The sun was the gold in her eyes. She saw everything with the perfect clarity that accompanied those rare moments in her life when she could shed the limitations she carried with her every day, and embrace the sensation of absolute freedom.

With one last wild beat of her wings, she was over the finish line.



It had taken the combined efforts of Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy to bring Derpy to a stop. Her final push across the finish line had left her pinwheeling through the air, a gray wrecking ball searching for a tree to knock over. Twilight Sparkle had managed to manipulate a tether spell onto Derpy’s back leg, and was being dragged haphazardly along behind. With Rarity clutching Twilight Sparkle’s tail in her teeth, and Applejack clutching Rarity’s tail in her teeth, Fluttershy was at last able to pull in front of Derpy and catch her in an awkward, stumbling fall that left the five ponies in a tangled pile at the end of a large divot in the meadow. Every one of them was thoroughly dazed, their eyes looking much like Derpy’s as they recovered their wits.

When the five had trotted back to the finish line, Derpy spotted something shiny wrapped around Rainbow Dash’s neck, and deduced that it was the magic ribbon from the finish line. She gave a small sigh… she hadn’t been quite fast enough.

Rainbow Dash was retelling her side of the race with animated gestures and laughter to a rapt Pinkie Pie, who nodded in all the right places and looked suitably awed at the most dramatic gestures. Rainbow Dash waved to Derpy with a warm smile. “Hey, Derpy! What a race, huh?”

Derpy smiled back and trotted over to shake Rainbow Dash’s hoof. “That wash fantashtic, Rainbow Dash! Congratulations!”

Rainbow Dash beamed as she patted Derpy on the shoulder. “Yeah, that was pretty sweet, huh? You’re all right, Derpy! Let’s do this again sometime!”

Derpy nodded vigorously in agreement, and Twilight Sparkle smiled at everyone. The whole group seemed pretty satisfied with the outcome, with the exception of Applejack, who was waiting patiently for the chatter to die down a bit.

“Hold on there, Nellie,” Applejack said as she approached Rainbow Dash and Derpy. “Gotta set somethin’ straight here, first.” She gestured with her chin toward the ribbon around Rainbow Dash’s neck. “Y’didn’t win this one, Rainbow – Derpy did.”

Both Rainbow Dash and Derpy looked perplexed. Twilight Sparkle was also confused, and trotted over to Applejack and protested, “Applejack, that spell is made to stick to the first person who touches it. Rainbow Dash made it by a hair.”

Applejack shook her head. “Ain’t talking ‘bout that. Y’missed yer mark at the boulder, Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “What are you talking about? You saw me bounce right off it up into the sky!”

Applejack nodded. “Sure did, and I also saw you look over at the forest on the way down. You were two feet away from that boulder ‘fore you shot off to the trees. I tried ta shout ya back, but you weren’t hearin’ a word of it. Couldn’t getcher attention with a bullwhip, I reckon.”

Rainbow Dash gulped. She couldn’t believe it – Applejack was right. She had peeled out toward the trees without setting a single hoof on the boulder. She sputtered, “B-but… I mean… that’s not the point! I… it just slipped my mind, it didn’t mean anything!”

Applejack turned to Twilight. “Weren’t you just sayin’ Rainbow Dash here took it by a hair? Seems to me you gave yourself that hair’s length when y’didn’t tag up.”

Twilight Sparkle thought it over. Applejack, among all their friends, was the last one to tell a lie, and everyone knew it. And both racers knew the rules.

Derpy, however, gave a dismissive wave. “Aw, don’t be shilly, Applejack. I don’t care who won. That wash the most fun I’ve had in a long time!”

Rainbow Dash groaned and rolled her eyes. “There. See? Derpy’s happy, I’m happy, let’s just drop it, okay?”

There was a nervous silence for a couple of moments before Twilight Sparkle spoke. “Why don’t you give Derpy the ribbon, Rainbow Dash? It’s the right thing to do.” 

The others nodded in agreement, and Pinkie Pie added, “C’mon, Rainbow Dash, it’s just a silly ribbon anyway!”

Rainbow Dash looked at the crowd in front of her, taking a nervous step back. All of a sudden, she started feeling upset. Her lips moved ahead of her reason.

“Come ON! This is ridiculous! Look, she’s happy, what do you care who actually won the race? It’s just a race! Why do you guys have to go out of your way to make everything go right for her?” She waved at Derpy, who looked at everyone with blank surprise, not at all sure how to react. Rainbow Dash continued on.

“Twilight, weren’t you just saying the other day that I’m supposed to pretend she’s just the same as everyone else? And you guys are all bending over backward and making me, your friend, look like I’m some kind of bad guy! What’s up with that?”

Derpy looked curiously at Rainbow Dash. “Um… what d’you mean? I don’t undershtand…”

“Rainbow Dash…” Twilight Sparkle said hesitantly.

“Well, come on, Derpy, you have to know you’re different from everypony else, right? Doesn’t it bug you that they’re acting like this just so they don’t hurt your feelings?”

Derpy pawed at the ground, looking away with her good eye. “I… I dunno. Like… different how?”

Rainbow Dash groaned. “Aw, c’mon, what about your eyes?”

“My eyes? Oh…” Derpy looked down for a moment before bringing her gaze up to Rainbow Dash. She gave an easy smile. “Oh, that’sh no big deal. The doctors just tell me my one eye doeshn’t wanna move like the other, sho it just kinda sits. I can shtill see with it, though! And it’sh great for funny faces!” She lolled her tongue out and tilted her head at a peculiar angle, striking a bizarre pose.

Most of the other ponies looked at each other nervously, but Pinkie Pie could barely contain herself. She leapt to the forefront and giggled along with Derpy. “That’s a good one, Derpy! Watch this!” She counted with a cross-eyed, open-mouthed, tongue-lolling caricature of her own, accentuating it with a noisy, “Bleh!”

Before long, Derpy and Pinkie Pie were engaged in a contest of one-upmanship that elicited giggles from everyone except Rainbow Dash, who shook her head in disgust. Finally, Derpy broke down into uncontrolled laughter and patted Pinkie Pie on the shoulder. “Hee hee! You’ve got the funniesht face in the whole world, Pinkie Pie!”

“Whee!” shouted Pinkie Pie exultantly, “Number one! Number one! Number one!”

Everyone laughed with delight as Applejack remarked, “Derpy, I think you done put into words what everyone here’s known for a looong time!”

Rainbow Dash frowned again. “See? There you all go again! This is so lame! So the way she talks is a big plus, too, right? And the way she crashes into trees and walls and stuff? Is everypony just going to say that’s all awesome just because Derpy does it?”

Derpy tried to interject, taking a step toward Rainbow Dash. “It’sh-“

“Why are we all acting like we should be dumb just because she’s dumb?”

Everypony went quiet at that. Derpy stopped in her tracks, her hoof dropping to the grass like a stone. She stared at Rainbow Dash unbelievingly. “D-dumb?” she whispered.

Rainbow Dash went silent as she looked at Derpy’s shocked expression. “I… I mean…”

“Y-you think that… that I’m… dumb?” Derpy rasped out the last word, her chin quivering as she blinked back tears. Twilight Sparkle stepped over to Derpy’s side and offered a hoof, but before she could say anything, Derpy trotted briskly out into the meadow, sparing one last glance at Rainbow Dash before she took off into the sky.

The other ponies looked to one another with uncomfortable expressions, and Twilight briefly trotted in Derpy’s direction, but turned back to the others with a dejected look on her face. 

“Y’all figure someone oughta follow her?” Applejack said.

Fluttershy took wing and started hovering toward Derpy’s flight path. “I’ll go make sure she’s all right. She’s probably going home.”

Twilight Sparkle nodded. “All right, Fluttershy, give her our regards, please?”

Fluttershy nodded and gave a weak smile before taking off in a steady pursuit. When she was gone, the rest of the ponies whirled their attention on Rainbow Dash, who had turned a deep shade of red and was looking around nervously.

“Well!” Twilight Sparkle shouted, “I sure hope you’re satisfied, Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow Dash looked stung. “Wh-why would I be satisfied? I didn’t want this!”

“You set out to humiliate her! You knew she couldn’t handle turns because of her vision!”

“But… okay, yeah, I guess I knew that, but I thought that was the whole point! Aren’t we supposed to pretend she’s a normal pony like everyone else?”

Rarity stepped forward with an angry glare. “Rainbow Dash, for heaven’s sake, you can acknowledge someone’s difficulties without turning them into a glaring focus! I imagine she was under the impression that you didn’t realize how much trouble her vision causes her!”

Rainbow Dash turned away from them, feeling worse by the second. “I… I didn’t mean that she was actually dumb… but she’s… she’s frustrating, sometimes! The way she talks, the way she runs into stuff… and remember when she ‘helped’ me with City Hall?”

“Who could forget?” Pinkie Pie said with an airy expression, “you destroyed half the building!”

Rainbow Dash smacked her head. “No, NO! I didn’t destroy it, Derpy did! And if I could’ve found someone else to handle the power, I would have! Jeez, all I asked her to do was watch the lightning cloud, and she couldn’t handle even that!”

Applejack stepped forward and stared down Rainbow Dash. “’Kay, first of all, that don’t excuse a single thing you said or did here, so don’t go thinkin’ it does. Second, if it hadn’t been for Derpy’s bumpin’ around up there, we never would’ve found all them termites chewin’ up the support beams, and the whole dang roof woulda come down right on the mayor’s head!”

Rainbow Dash tried to interject, “but I-“

“Third,” Applejack went on, “I ain’t an expert, but it seems to me that if you knew Derpy wasn’t right for the job, y’didn’t have no business askin’ her to help, anyway. She’s a fine mailmare, best I’ve ever known, but even I know she don’t pick up every little thing the same speed we do. That don’t make her dumb or any less than the rest of us, but it sure does mean you don’t put her in charge of a big cloud o’ lightning without makin’ sure she knows what she’s doing with it! And finally, this ain’t about you, this is about Derpy’s feelings! How d’ya think I’d feel if all you ever saw with me is what I couldn’t do, and didn’t take any time to focus on what I could do? Derpy ain’t just a crossed set of eyes and an odd voice!”

Twilight Sparkle stepped up beside Applejack. “And Derpy might not admit it, but she’s scared that sometimes that’s the only way people do see her. That’s why I invited her today. I wanted her to have a chance to know how much we appreciate her, and what she does for us.” She sighed and stamped a hoof. “And it was going just fine until you and your pride couldn’t handle not being the center of attention!”

Twilight Sparkle turned to start packing up her things, and Applejack and Rarity reluctantly followed suit. Even Pinkie Pie, after several moments of trying to think of a way to ease the tension, started gathering her plates of baked goods back into her basket. Rainbow Dash fluttered among them with a guilty expression.

“Guys, I… I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to… I… I’m really sorry!”

Applejack looked up with an annoyed expression. “What are you apologizin’ to us for? It ain’t our hearts y’trampled on.”

Rainbow Dash, cowed to silence, bowed her head and floated away, realizing that she simply wasn’t wanted there.



Later that evening, Rainbow Dash was draped over a soft chair at home, feeling like she might as well never show her face in Ponyville again. Her mouth had gotten away from her again, and she knew, deep inside, that there was no excuse for her behavior. She felt awful for her friends, but more so for Derpy.

At every turn, Derpy had shown a willingness to be a friend, to have fun and hang out. She was cheerful and optimistic in a way that made even Pinkie Pie look… well, granted, nopony did optimism like Pinkie Pie, but Derpy was certainly close. And considering the obstacles Derpy overcame every day, it was somehow difficult to understand why.

Worst of all, Rainbow Dash was aware of how arrogant she had been, imagining that Derpy’s job would be a breeze. Why had she believed that? Because it was Derpy’s job. Rainbow Dash knew that she had made a fool of herself, and then had made it worse. She couldn’t have handled things more poorly if she tried.

She groaned and turned over onto her stomach, crossing her front legs and looking down at the floor. She thought she might never leave her house again.

When she heard the knock at her door for the first time, she tried to ignore it. She definitely didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. After the third knock, though, she heard a quiet, shaky voice inquire, “Mish Dash?”

She recognized the voice immediately, and steeled herself to face the music as she stepped down from her chair and trotted over to the door. Derpy was sitting at her porch, a pair of saddlebags over her back. She had a small, hopeful smile on her face as Rainbow Dash opened the door, and Rainbow Dash tried to return it with little success. “H-hey, Derpy… umm…”

Derpy took the opportunity to say, “Lishen, um, I… I won’t shtay long, I promishe… I jusht wanted to tell you that, um, that I’m shorry about today…”

Rainbow Dash looked down with shame. “You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”

“That’sh not true. I didn’t realize that I was making you uncomfortable… I don’t blame you, neither. I know that I’m… that I look funny, and I talk funny, and I don’t think fasht like I wish I could…” She stamped the ground hesitantly, before continuing, “I, uh, I appreciated you treating me th’ shame as if I washn’t sho meshed up, even though I weirded you out. And, uh, I did have a real good time with the race.”

Rainbow Dash gave a faint laugh, a smile tracing along the edges of her mouth. “It was pretty fun, huh? And… Applejack was right. I didn’t touch the boulder, and if I had, you would’ve won. You were the champ today. You deserve to be the champ.” She looked up at Derpy. “I’m really sorry, Derpy. I don’t think you’re dumb. If anything, I’m the dumb one, because I was the only one who couldn’t see how cool you are… and what a jerk I was being.”

Derpy smiled warmly and patted Rainbow Dash on the shoulder. “Don’t feel bad, Mish Dash. Lotsha ponies say way worshe thingsh than that, and they don’t even have the guts to say it right in front of me. If… you ever feel like racing again, well… nobody ever asks me to race.” She looked at Rainbow Dash earnestly with her good eye. “I wouldn’t mind racing a bit more…”

Rainbow Dash smiled, feeling a lump building in her throat. She swallowed it down and replied, “I wouldn’t mind, either. So… does that mean you, uh, y’know…” It took Rainbow Dash a moment to meet Derpy’s gaze again, “… forgive me?”

Derpy smiled brightly. “Of courshe I forgive you. That’sh what friendsh do.”

Rainbow Dash felt her lower lip quiver a bit as she searched for words. “Y-yeah… Of course… next time, I’m gonna win for sure, you know!”

The two of them giggled for several moments, then Derpy’s face lit up with realization. “Oh! And before I forget!” She turned and opened up one of her saddlebags, drawing out a tube-shaped package and offering it to Rainbow Dash. “Thish was in the returns box. I musta missed it on my lasht run, but I took a real good look at the address on it,” she pointed to the smudged ink on the address, “and I think it’s sh’posed to be for you. Shee? That’sh your address, right?”

Rainbow Dash immediately recognized the package she had dismissed earlier that day. She peered at the inky blotch on the address sticker. For the life of her, she couldn’t tell which were numbers and which were letters, but the zip code looked right. Then her eyes trailed over to the return address.

Her breath caught in her throat as tore the top off and peered inside. There was a poster curled up inside. She hurriedly tugged it out, and spread it open.

It was that year’s Wonderbolts lineup. All the familiar faces were there, along with the new additions to the team. And what was more, it had been signed. She immediately recognized the signatures of every member of the team, and in the bottom right corner, there was a note waiting for her. She read it out loud in a quivering voice:



“Dear Rainbow Dash,
Keep being awesome!
Your friend, Spitfire”


Spitfire had sketched the Wonderbolts symbol beneath her signature, along with a happy face.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes twitched as she read the message over again and again. Derpy peered over her shoulder at the poster, looking at Rainbow Dash with slight concern. “Umm… you okay, Mish Dash?”

Rainbow Dash struggled to form her words. “I… I… I’m…” she took a deep breath as she read the words one more time, “… awesome…” She suddenly looked up with delight, her voice cracking as she cried out, “I’m AWESOME! She thinks I’m AWESOME!” She leapt up on her hind legs, dropping the poster to the ground as she wrapped her arms around Derpy’s shoulder in a wild hug.

Derpy started laughing excitedly and returned the hug, shouting, “Woo hoo! All right, Rainbow Dash!” They danced in a circle on the front step, each laughing with delight as the last remnants of the sun wisped across the clouds.




Three days later, Rainbow Dash was hard at work penning a letter.

“Dear Princess Celestia,

I’ve learned something very important about friendship. See, sometimes you’re going to encounter people who are different than you, and might have a harder time with things that are easy for most people. They might even seem strange or funny. But I’ve realized that it isn’t fair to treat them like they’re less important than you are, or worse, to act like they don’t even exist or should be ignored or forgotten. Nobody deserves to be singled out or laughed at because of the way they were born, or for anything else that they can’t control. 

Sometimes, when you give them the opportunity, they’ll amaze you with what they do, and they might even amaze themselves while they’re doing it. But the most important thing is, they’re every bit as capable of being a great friend as anyone else in the world, and everyone deserves to enjoy the magic of friendship.

Your faithful subject,

Rainbow Dash


While Princess Celestia was reading that letter, Rainbow Dash, Derpy, and all their friends were enjoying another picnic, everyone laughing and cheerful and happy in the company of friends. Pinkie Pie was passing out muffins by the handful, and Applejack had outdone herself preparing a special batch of apple fritters. The food had been excellent, and Rarity suggested a bit of after-dinner music.

“I’ve got jusht the thing!” Derpy declared, giving Rainbow Dash a conspiratorial smile. She pulled a record out from her picnic basket and set it on the turntable. Before long, the air was filled up with Rainbow Dash’s favorite rock and roll record, much to Rarity’s chagrin.

“Aw, yeah!” Rainbow Dash shouted, shooting up into the air with an air guitar motion. Everyone winced when Rainbow Dash’s head collided with a low-hanging branch above her head. Rainbow Dash’s eyes swam in her head for a moment as she rubbed between her ears. Finally, she gave her head a shake, looked down with a sheepish smile, and shrugged. “Derp,” she said, “my bad!”

Derpy laughed harder than everyone else, before pointing at a rock in the distance and raising an eyebrow. Everyone knew what that meant – race time. It was so on.