//------------------------------//
// The Bakers' Apprentice 
// Story: Pony Poems / Songs 
// by Joseph Raszagal 
//------------------------------//

The Bakers' Assistant
A tribute to Cupcakes and the Clockwork Quartet by Joseph Raszagal

~ ~ ~

The Ponyville police
Looked all over town
But they won't find me there
For I'm Canterlot bound
I'm trading the village
For some city smog air
And they'll never catch wise
That I'm there...

My name is Pinkamena
Star baker of Ponyville
I made my tasty treats
Nopony could get their fill
But what they did not know
The secret recipe
What each cupcake truly needed
Just a dash of pony

So I lurked the quiet streets
Each and every night
For ingredients
Silent and out of sight
A rag over a muzzle
A trip back to my lair
The lights dimmed down low
My guest strapped to a chair

But I knew
The law sought me
And one day
They caught me
A trial was held
In the pouring black rain

Now, I'm not the kind,
Who would grovel and pray!
That they deign to show mercy,
To a defense with insanity in play!
So I said with a smile,
In my ever-cheerful way,
That I would escape,
The next day!

And how right that I was
The guard's neck supple and soft
Easily slit
As I held him aloft
Say what you would like
I'm a pony to hold a grudge
My sights set up the mountain
On the home of my judge

Staying to the shadows
I hummed a jaunty tune
My plans coming together
And rising like a balloon
Up they did carry me
So soon I arrived
It was time to sate my hunger
Far too long deprived

Now this judge, I tell you
With eyes weak and old
Would sometimes neglect
To fend off the cold
A back window still open
The perfect size just for me
I squeezed right through
And prepared for a private party

I tossed up
Some streamers
I baked up
A grand cake
The stage fully set
For a celebration nopony could forget

So I sat in his home,
The clock, it tock-ticked!
When suddenly it happened,
The brass door lock clicked!
In he did stride,
And with nowhere to hide!
I pounced and let my sharpened
Butcher's knife slide!
His blood came in rivers,
A sea of red tide!
Oh how I road out,
The orgasmic adrenaline ride!
And not once did I stop,
As he howled and cried!
My Cheshire grin stretching,
Impossibly wide!

With vengence completed
I fled into the night
Covered in fresh blood
Surely quite the sight
My thoughts, they ran wild
A dark future so bright
Dreams of becoming
The entire world's blight

Yes, now Equestria
Is mine