(A/N: Sorry for the wait... I'll be in the corner or shame if you need me...)
"Lyra? Where'd you go?" came a voice from outside. The voice continued, getting closer. "What did I tell you about barging into places without knocking? I mean, honestly, don't you-"
The words died at the doorway. A lone mare stood upon the threshold, sporting a coat of calm, tawny beige, and a mane resembling strips of blue and pink taffy. A sound observation, considering the three wrapped candies that adorned her flanks. She, I noticed, lacked a horn or wings. Sucks for her.
"I'm not crazy..." the greenish unicorn whispered, her back still turned to the other mare. "All this time, Bon-Bon, you said I was, with the humans, always the humans! All the time, 'Humans don't exist, Lyra. You're hysterical, Lyra,'" she mimicked in an annoying, whiny, and high-pitched tone. "I'm not crazy. I... Am... Not... CRAZY!!" her whisper turning to a yell at the end of the declaration.
The other mare stood silent, trying and failing to process the situation. For a tense moment, she simply stood there, her face a hashed mix of confusion, frustration, and slack-jawed amazement. "Lyra... What... No, this isn't. You're making me see this with your magic or something," she said, accusation and anger creeping into her voice.
"NO! I swear to Celestia, they're real!" she pleaded desperately.
"...Surely, you can't be serious," Bon-Bon said, taking another glance at us, her sudden ire disappearing as quickly as it had came.
"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."
"What? I never-"
"Bonnie, you're missing the point! HUMANS! HERE!" She reared up on her hind legs and gestured wildly in our general direction with both of her forehooves. "I was right all along! They exist, Bonnie, they really do! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" She began to laugh manically.
"Lyra! Get a hold of yourself!" Bon-Bon shrieked, swinging a hoof to collide with Lyra's cheek quite a bit harder than was intended. The effect on all present was immediate. I could tell she immediately regretted it, her expression shocked and guilty. A tense silence filled the room, making it almost seem harder to breathe. The suspense was suffocating, although everybody (and pony) knew it wouldn't end well.
The cream-colored pony broke the silence. "Lyra, I-"
"Just go. Just... Go." Lyra interrupted, gesturing towards the door with a hoof, turning and refusing to look at her.
Bon-Bon hesitated, then cast her eyes to the floor, growing somber, before shuffling out of the library, closing the door softly behind her.
There was a stretch of silence. Lyra's hoof was still hanging in the air, slowly descending toward the ground.
The bitter quiet made a single tear very audible when it hit the floor. Lyra shifted when she heard it, then stood perfectly still as she looked down and took a deep breath.
Whatever emotional struggles that moments before tormented the unicorn were expertly hidden as she jumped over to Viktor and began to examine him. He looked quite uncomfortable as she tugged at his ears, limbs, and clothes with magic. I diverted my attention as I thought I heard decidedly feminine sobbing coming from nearby, outside the library. I couldn't listen for long, as Lyra had begun to inspect me as well. The feeling of the magic was... Unsettling. Similar to if I were permeated with bits of iron, and she was tugging me with a magnet. It seemed warm and smooth, yet tingling and chilly at the same time. Quite a bit to try to wrap your head around. I was intrigued by it, but also slightly frightened, seeing as I was still trying to grasp the fact that magic existed.
She stepped back, casting her gaze between us and mulling over her findings. After a few seconds, she began to bombard us with questions.
"So, where are you from? How did you get here? Are you ok? What's your names? How-"
"Please, slow down," Viktor interrupted curtly.
She looked bemused for a second, before deciding to ask, "Alright, first things first, where are you from, and how did you get here?
"We are from a place far away, and we don't know how we got here," Viktor responded.
"...Well, that was certainly eye-opening," Lyra joked sarcastically.
I chuckled, already beginning to take a liking to her attitude.
She looked ready to ask another question, but I cut her off. "Now it's my turn," I asserted.
She cocked her head at me. Then, her eyes lit up, and she gushed, "Oh, curious about Equestria? I have so much to tell you! You see, this-"
"No. You see, the pony who lives in this library-" I gesture around me, "-said that she'd never heard of humans. How have you?"
Her gaze skirted back and forth, suddenly nervous. "Well, you see, uh, there's really nothing to tell... Yeah, I just heard some myth about them, from a long, long time ago, old books and stuff," she responded quickly, throwing in an awkward, airy little laugh which served for nothing else than to further weaken her facade.
I don't buy it. I kept my thoughts to myself, though. I'll find out in due time.
The door opened silently behind us. The six ponies from earlier appeared in the library without Lyra noticing, until a voice said,
"Oh, hello there! I see you've met our... Guests. Can I help you find something?"
Lyra whirled around, only to be greeted by six brightly-colored individuals. Three of them looked pretty much just the same as they were before, while the others like they'd had an interesting party experience. Pinkie Pie was bouncing up and down, as usual, but wrapped in steamers like a mummified pinata, Rarity was splashed with mud, making disgusted squeaks with every step she took, and Fluttershy was leaning on Rainbow Dash, limping forward slowly.
Is she hurt? I worried. I looked more closely, but didn't see an injury of some sort. No, probably not. Then, what? I was still unable to discern her exact condition. As the six mares milled into the library, Lyra managed to make an excuse and slip outside before anyone could ask her anything. My attention was caught, along with a few others, as Rainbow Dash delicately let the now-speaking yellow pegasus down.
"Arrah... Doyah... Whuh?" Fluttershy slurred, looking around. "Yer arse's ass and I'm the grass mare, punk yeah ya havin' heathen... *hic* "
"Good heavens, Rainbow Dash, what did you put in that punch?" Rarity inquired with a concerned air.
"Let's talk about something else, ok?" Rainbow huffed.
"That was pretty good for a prank, though, Dashie," Pinkie bubbled. "I mean, wow, 400 proof? That's like not even possible! Magic, am I right?"
Suddenly, Fluttershy yelled out at such a volume that it made everyone jump. "WHY DONSHA' SAY 'AT... Duh ta huggah... Bluhie fru shap ownah... Guh."
If the faces of the ponies said anything, that outburst was quite unorthodox. Even I was a bit rattled, noting the contrast between, the gentle, shy, soft-spoken mare that found us in the forest, and the raging drunk she appeared to be now. I'd seen my fair share of raging drunks (A certain black, Scottish cyclops comes to mind,) and this was fairly bad.
"Whatever it was, Dash, that stuff should be illegal." Applejack said, sounding a bit frightened.
"Hehe, yeah, it's legal and stuff..." Rainbow Dash chuckled nervously. If anyone besides me was suspicious, they didn't show it.
And thus, the night wore on, with mixed discussion among the six ponies, except for Twilight, who was busy rifling through a thick tome in search of a spell to cure severe intoxication. Viktor and I managed to work out a plan to sleep in the barn at 'Sweet Apple Acres' until we found a better place to stay. Everything was turning out great. I was surprised at how well we were being received, and for no other reason than their innate kindness. This might not be so bad after all...
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We were able to depart fairly quickly, seeing as neither I nor Viktor had any possessions to speak of besides what we were wearing. Although we were traveling lightly, it was still going to be a tiring journey given the large distance to the farm. Applejack, who I learned along the way was the proprietor of Sweet Apple Acres, entertained us with a tale of how her grandmother found rainbow Zapapples and escaped a pack of snarling Timber Wolves. Not regular Timber Wolves, they were literally made out of stray pieces of timber wood. Normally, I would have considered this to be heavily-fabricated, but I had reached the point where I honestly didn't know what existed, and what didn't exist; the possible and the impossible. Believable or not, the fable was interesting enough to pass the time.
As we entered Sweet Apple Acres, I couldn't help but be amazed by the vast swath of trees stretching for nearly as far as the eye could see. We turned a bend on the dirt and began heading directly toward a large red barn. Sitting outside, something covered in a newspaper was rocking in a rickety-looking rocking chair.
"Who's that?" I asked, pointing.
"Well that, mah friend, is my good ol' Granny Smith." Applejack said.
The newspaper slipped off the pony of interest to reveal a green, white-haired, wrinkled and otherwise very old looking mare. She gave a small snort and whinny before opening her eyes and muttering something unintelligible. She swiveled her head back and forth a bit before locking her eyes on us as we approached her.
"My my, they jus' keep gittin' taller, don't they?" she said, squinting. "I didn't now you were hiring help, Applejack... Where in Equestria did you find such tall colts?"
"Come again?" Applejack asked, leaning to give Granny Smith a familiar nuzzle.
"Ah said, where in Equestria did you find farmhooves like them? They're just so... Big!" she said in a vaguely awed tone. "An'... Why n' tarnation are they standin' on two hooves? They acrobats?"
"Ah, no. ya see-"
"Why in the world would would acrobats? Do ya not have the sense Celestia gave gravel?" Granny Smith ranted.
"Hey!" Applejack exclaimed defensively. "Why so cranky? Did'ja forget to eat breakfast again?"
"...I am mighty hungry..." Granny Smith conceded. "You're right. Ah guess I'll meet ya friends later." She leaped up surprisingly nimbly, and left without another word.
"Shall we get ya settled in?" Applejack suggested, turning back around towards us.
"Sure!" Viktor agreed enthusiastically, looking like a fourth grader on a field trip.
"Yeah," I said, audibly less excited. I heard a noise like a snapping branch behind me. Turning around just in time, something caught my eye: A flash of a sea-foam green tail going behind a tree. In as much silence as I could muster, I slid over to the tree, then jumped past it and looked at the other side.
...Nothing. Nobody. No pony, either.
Does anything here make logical sense?! I thought angrily.
I trudged back to where Viktor and Applejack were standing brushing off confused comments. Applejack shrugged as well as a mare could do with her forehooves still planted on the ground.
"Alright, let's get some beds ready for you guys," she declared.
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We spent a almost a week at the farm, most of the time either playing along with the crazed shenanigans of Applejack's sister, Applebloom, and her motley crew of "Cutie Mark Crusaders," helping out on the farm, or talking with her older brother, Big Macintosh. Despite his simple demeanor, Mac's thoughts were oftentimes deep and philosophical, leading to many an interesting discussion. He, for one didn't seem to be terribly fixated on the fact that they were "human." In fact, he spoke to them just as he would to a fellow stallion.
Fun and games aside, it didn't take long for both me and Viktor to come to a similar conclusion after plenty of sweaty, dirty work in the fields: We were going to need new duds. Thankfully, Applejack reminded us that her friend Rarity owned a clothes boutique in town, and gave directions to it. She gave us a nice pouch of 'bits,' which she informed us was the local currency. Viktor, of course, seemed to know what they were already, and accepted them without question.
We departed at brisk pace, following Applejack's specifications. After a refreshing bit of jogging, we came upon a certain 'Carousel Boutique,' and went inside.
A feminine voice chimed out, like a crystal bell. "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique! How may I help y-" she stopped as she saw the new arrivals. "My! So nice to see you both again!"
"You, too," Viktor said courteously.
"If it wouldn't be too much trouble, miss, we need some new clothing, and our uniforms fixed up." I explained.
"Right away!" Rarity exclaimed, immediately floating fabric over to herself, and turning around to her various instruments. "I'm happy oblige. Now, if you'll just kindly take off those things for me, I can get to work right away!" Rarity chirped.
After a moment of awkward silence, Rarity turned around, glancing at us.
"Umm... Can you take off the uniforms, please?" she inquired politely.
Oh. OK then, it wouldn't kill me... Moments later, I was awkwardly standing there in nothing but plaid boxers. I turned my head to Viktor, making a "get on with it" gesture once I saw that he had done nothing. He coughed, his face turning red.
"Come on. See, I did it!" I whispered to him.
"No, no... See, I... Ugh," Viktor reasoned feebly.
"We need these fixed, Viktor! Now just take it off!" I hissed.
After a bit more verbal stumbling, Viktor took off his shirt and pants. His face was akin to a wonderfully ripe tomato.
"See, now that wasn't so hard, was i-" I stopped as something caught my eye. Something pink. Is Viktor wearing pink polka-dot boxers? Wait, no... Those aren't dots, that's... a pony's face? Wait, it seems familiar! Was it... No, that's right, it was the one from the library - Pinkie Pie! I remembered triumphantly, before realizing the full implications of the situation.
Viktor hazarded a glance at Rarity. He visibly cringed at her shocked expression of surprise and embarrassment.
She blushed, nervously shuffling her hooves and 'magicking' some body-sized blankets over to us.
"I... Uh... I'll have something for you next morning; I'm really stacked up right now. Nice to see you both," She stammered before grabbing the uniforms and hurrying into her workroom, purposefully avoiding looking at Viktor. The door slammed quickly behind her.
"Nice boxers," I said, sniggering.
"You. Quiet."
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Seeing no reason to linger, we decided that blankets were better than just underwear, and donned them in the fashion of makeshift robes. Although it wasn't really practical, comfy, or stylish, we couldn't just sit outside the shop for an entire day and night. We began to stroll away as casually as we could in our, quite frankly, ridiculous clothing, heading back to Sweet Apple Acres. We still had Applejack's bits, probably because Rarity forgot to ask for them in the awkwardness of the moment.
As fate would have it, we didn't go 2 minutes without yet more problems. We heard galloping behind us, and turned only to see the elusive Lyra. She had run up behind us from God knows how far.
"Hey, *pant* I've been trying to catch up to you..." she coughed out in bursts. "Uh... Nice robes?"
I was naturally suspicious of her, since I still had no explanation for her possible appearance at Sweet Apple Acres.
Receiving nothing but stares from us, she coughed and continued quickly.
"Yeah... Uh... I heard you were looking for a more permanent place to stay, and I'm sort of a human enthus- I mean, no, no! I, uh... just... I have food and stuff... and... uh..." she blundered on awkwardly.
Me and Viktor exchanged glances. She ran all that way just to go nowhere.
"Ugh... Just... Uh... Here! I brought something cool to show you!" she exclaimed, giving each of us a glass vial that held about 3 shot glasses' worth of a strange, golden liquid.
"Just try it, it's great!" she said, taking out a third vial. "See? Delicious!" she assured as she drank it all in a gulp.
I looked to Viktor, shrugging and putting on a face that said, "Should I?"
Viktor simply responded by uncorking the vial and downing it. For a moment, he looked like he was going to vomit, but it became apparent that he simply was surprised as he stared at the empty vial incredulously. Seeing as I was the last to the party, I opened the vial. The oddest smell was coming from the mysterious fluid. I don't need to be alive anyway.
*gulp*
Similar to Viktor, I almost spat it out merely because I was taken so far aback.
Liquid steak?! I surmise, although a bit disbelieving. I thought these things didn't like meat!
"So? What do you think?" Lyra said excitedly.
"This... Is strange vodka," Viktor said, bewildered.
"What? Vodka? Mine was steak," I interjected, becoming more intrigued by the second.
"Really? What kind of steak?" Lyra inquired cheerfully.
"Uh... Steak-steak?" I said, fairly certain that steak was steak.
"Like, What steak-steak? Cauliflower steak, corn steak, what?" she said, still patient.
I was about to answer her with a bit more definition when I heard Viktor forcefully whisper, "Nyet!"
Deciding that the "brony" knew best, I simply responded, "Eh, I don't know anymore."
Lyra deflated a little, but picked right back up. "Here, follow me, I have a bunch of other things just as cool as that to show you!"
"Wait," I said. "What... Was that stuff?" I ask.
"Ambrosia! Well, it's technically just colored, opaque water. All it takes is a little magic to make it taste like, quite frankly, whatever you want it to."
"Did you invent?" Viktor asks.
"Well, no, I read about it.... But I did make that batch myself!" she pointed out pridefully.
"Is there..." Viktor began, "...more?"
"Yeah, and tons of other awesome things too! C'mon!" she chirped. "Follow me!"
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We figured there was no harm in a little fun, and walked down a few quiet side-streets, talking with the pastel mare along the way. Soon enough, we arrived at a dainty, pink apartment complex. After walking up three flights of not-so-mint-condition wood stairs, our destination was the second door on the left.
"Welcome to my humble abode, gentlemen," Lyra said in a humorously snobby voice, levitating a key to the door and unlocking it with a little click.
It swung open with a small gust of glowing green, revealing a somewhat trashy interior. A stain here or there, a saggy couch... Is that a pizza box?
"Sorry, I didn't really get this place cleaned up too much..." she said sheepishly, as if addressing my thoughts.
"Is fine," Viktor assured.
"So... Uh... Feel free to eat whatever you want from the fridge."
Well, I am pretty hungry... I wandered toward the kitchen while Lyra was, to an small extent, showing Viktor around. Finding the desired white box, I pull it open with the odd circular hoof-handle on the front. Inside, I found a plethora of interesting things, including sandwiches, weird yellow smoothie-like liquid, a large head of iceberg lettuce, and what looked like a few hundred flowers. I unbound a sandwich from it's plastic wrap and took a bite.
Ugh... This tastes like someone stuffed a bunch of grass in it. Lifting up the top slice of bread, I realized that someone did, in fact, stuff a bunch of grass in it.
I took another look in the fridge. Better than nothing... I grab the head of crunchy lettuce and take a loud bite. Walking out to the living room, I see Lyra using her magic to furiously scribble on a notepad as Viktor dictated.
"She weighs 150 kilograms and fires $200 custom tooled cartridges at 10000 rounds per minute..." he boasts.
Please tell me again, I seem to have forgotten.
I left him to inform yet another lucky person about every millimeter of Sasha, opening the curtains and admiring the view.
Man, there was a lot to be admired. It was almost as if this apartment was solely designed to have the best view of the town possible. I could see town hall, the library, and even a the tops of the Sweet Apple Acres barn and Fluttershy's cottage.
The town square, instead of the gray-green color of its pavement, it was pattered with spots of pastel colors, all moving with their own sentient agenda. It was amazing how impossible it was and yet it was happening right in front of my eyes.
My reverie was disturbed by a bright flash of light below me. I quickly glanced downwards, but only managed to see a rustling bush. Regardless, I backed away from the window, closing the curtains.
Calm down, calm down... It was probably just an animal. I still wondered about the light, though.
I shuffled back to the living room only to find that Lyra had filled her notepad and was halfway through a second, making an earnest attempt to document all of Viktor's narration about his history with Sasha (Which is to say, his life story.)
The hours dragged on. Lyra showed us a collection of magical knickknacks that were apparently foal's playthings, though they still astounded us to a large degree. We also had a quite respectable exchange of information about both Equestria and the nations of Earth. She told us about all the other truth-defying features of the world; Dragons, griffons, hydras, Tartarus, and basically everything mythical existed. Viktor absorbed this all with complete ease, while my neurons fried at an alarming rate. Lyra excused herself, went over to a table, painstakingly wrote a letter, and then burned it into green flames without a care in the world.
...What.
Then, suddenly, another green flare seemed to materialize from thin air and drop a scroll with a red bow in front of her.
She picked up the letter anxiously, but looked very pleased with herself upon reading it. She said that we could stay here for today, and that Applejack knew.
Needless to say, my brain needed a break. After voicing my request, Lyra showed us to the bedrooms.
"Go ahead, lie down, I know you'll be impressed," she said smugly.
It just looks like any other bed. Well, I'll just take her word for it.
I walked over, opened the covers, and slipped in.
...Holy shit. Best... Bed... Ever... I felt like I was melting into it, it was just so goddamn comfortable. I couldn't even think straight, all I wanted to do was just go to sleep. The last thing I heard before I nodded off was, "Magic is great, isn't it?"
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I slept better than I had in... well... my life. I was beginning to think that this whole "magic" business might not be as daunting as originally expected. Getting up, I felt like I was walking on air. Oddly enough, I didn't feel drowsy like I usually do in the morning, just energized, happy, and ready to tackle the day. Magic is great...
I was pleased to find out that Lyra was waiting on me, with a plate of breakfast and coffee she had mysteriously acquired. Just as I began to head towards it, a dull thump sounded from behind me.
"What was that?" I asked.
Lyra simply sighed. "Lemme guess, Derpy's doing another "express run" challenge?" She nodded her head sagely as she heard some glass breaking and a off-sounding voice saying, "Woops!"
Sensing my confusion, Lyra began to explain. "Basically, she tries to see how fast she can get her deliveries out of the way, and break her record from last time. Unfortunately, that means she favors hurling the package in the general direction of the recipient's home and hoping they're paying enough attention to go and get it. It doesn't happen too often, but sometimes she accidentally throws fragile objects into brick walls. We forgive her."
"...Interesting..." I said in response. Deciding to go and see what Derpy didn't have the time to give a damn about, I opened quietly. Seeing a newspaper, I quickly snatched it up and closed the door.
"It was just a newspaper, apparently..." I said, gaining Lyra's attention.
"Really, they usually have papercolt come by with that... They must really want it to be distributed fast. I bet it's a big headline!" Lyra reasoned excitedly.
Enough to pique my interest... I thought, opening it up to the front page. What caught me first was a picture... of me?! Sure enough, there I was, looking out of the large window in the apartment. Wait, for the position of that photo, he would have had to been right in the bush that I saw rustling before! ...And the flash of light was a goddamn camera. I had a clone, he would've slapped me.
And, as fate would have it, I decided to read to connected headline:
LOCAL RESIDENT LYRA HEARTSTRINGS
HOUSES SPACE ALIENS IN HER HOME!