Celestia hugged twilight and walked out of the room, her horn glowed and she teleported to Manehattan.
“What is it!?” A pony cried out in fear as the massive grey ship moved into the port
“The fuck is this shit!?” Was faintly heard from the top of the massive metal ship.
“Secure from general quarters, prepare to land.” A male voice echoed off the ship, slowly it entered the dock and almost breaking it.
“All hands docking procedures.” Another voice bellowed.
“CAPTAIN ON DECK!” A third feminine voice shouted, a figure appeared on the bow of the massive vessel in a tan outfit. Celestia opened her wings and flew up only to hear the loudest noise she had ever heard in her life. Several streaks of light flew towards her but missed by only inches.
“Stand your ground flying horse!” The figure in tan shouted. “I will have my men fire again, and next time they will not miss!” Celestia was awestruck, didn’t these creatures know who she was? She conjured a shield and continued flying but to her astonishment a streak of light punched through and barely grazed her wing.
“Last warning horse! Stop where you are or be shot down!” The figure shouted once more as another figure handed him a metal stick. A small red dot was then found on her chest before it was quickly placed between her eyes. “Now, tell me who you are, and who is in charge before I splatter you head like a sledgehammer to a watermelon.”
“I AM PRINCESS CELESTIA! RULER OF-”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” A random figure shouted
“Christ your loud!” A second one shouted from the group. Celestia’s jaw dropped as she found herself in furiated. She charged up her horn with her most powerful and devastating spell. She released it and let it fly before it impacted the front of the ship. There was a five second screen of smoke before it cleared revealing...
“What the fuck was that supposed to do?” The firgure said.
“That was underwhelming.” another said. A random figure stepped out and touched the tip of hte ship where she shot and pulled it’s hand back.
“Ow that’s kinda hot.... And she scratched the paint!” The third said.
“She messed with my ship!?” A fourth figure in tan shouted.
“Som’ body’ gon’ die, ah tell y’all what.” One in a greasy coverall shouted
“That’s it. Who is your pansy ass!? And don’t shout cause I swear to god that if you do, I will pop your head.” The figure said pulling out a L shaped item and pointing at her.
“I am princess Celestia, ruler of equestria. Who are you?!” Celestia
“I am Captain Luidvick! And this is my ship! If you are hostile, this city will be razed in a hell fire!” Captain shouted in anger. “If not, I want answers! Like how the hell you are flyin’! YOUR A FUCKING HORSE!”
“........” Celestia just sat there in stunned silence.
“Well!? I already got one of you pansy asses in med bay!” Captain shouted.
“Wait you ahve one of my little ponies?! GIVE THEM TO ME!” Celestia bellowed.
“Yeah. One. The others are dead! Like rats in traps!” Captain shouted.
“They din’ even stan’ a chance in hell.” Another said
“You want your ‘pony’ back!?” Captain shouted at Celestia.
“YES! GIVE THEM TO ME!” Celestia roared
“Then float your ass over here so you can take her!” Captain shouted. “I’ll even make my men lower their arms!”
“Ah don’ trus’ this thin boss man.” One said in a thick accent.
“I said lower, not drop.” Captain said to the other thing.
“Ah ah sir” It replied
“It a deal, ‘Celestia’?” Captain shouted.
“Very well.” Celestia replied, the creatures lowered the sticks they held and stepped back.
“Din’ that rainbow one talk bou’ some bitch nam’ celestia?” The one with the accent said, He had Dark green eyes and a mop of red hair on his head.
“Yes, that’s why we have guns Creeg.” The captain said as Celestia flew over and stood upon the wood flooring of the ship. The captain put the l shape weapon into a holster that sat on his hip before walking up to Celestia. “I hope this little hostile encounter won’t affect future meetings.”
“Why did you kill my other ponies?” Celestia hissed with venom.
“Why did you send them to attack my ship?” Captain asked.
“They dun’ mussed up mah engines, thems a bad thing to be mussin up considerin they have enough stored nuclear enargy ta blow the capital buildin sky high on 40 seperat occasions.” Creeg said
“Creeg calm down and take Leela to get the P.O.W.” Captain said turning to him.
“Yessum.” Creeg replied, he and a female creature walked towards one of the doors.
“Now I will ask again.” Captain said turning to Celestia. “Why did you send them to attack my ship?”
“They weren’t supposed to attack you, just scout you.” Celestia said, how could a seasoned commander like Dash mess that up?
“... Then I do say that one of your ponies messed up.” Captain said as the Rainbow Maned pegasus herself was brought forward with a bandage on her hind leg. “This is the one smart enough to not die.”
“Move yo sorr’ rear off mah flight deck.” Creeg hissed as he pushed the mare forwards, Leela put a hand on him.
“No, she can go at her own pace Mister Creeg.” Leela said
“Leela, let him do what he wishes. That pony there got her whole team killed. She deserves whatever treatment she gets.” Captain said looking to Leela.
“You condone such brutish behavior from your crew?” Celestia recoiled in disgust.
“I damn those who get their entire group of men killed because of a stupid ignorant mistake!” Captain shouted at Celestia. “I hold no respect for those who can’t take care of their men.”
“Take this here thin’ off mah ship. And don’t y’all ehva let it back on. Right Nigel?” Creeg hissed.
“That bitch nearly messed up my radar systems. She’s damn lucky I didn’t string her up by her own entrails.” Nigel growled out. Even the captain seemed perturbed by this.
“That’s a bit far don’t you think Nigel?” Captain asked looking to the brit.
“Not when its somtin y’all work hard on, ah woulda keelhauled her for what she done to mah reactors. Tha rainbow trail she leavin near melted the control panels.” Creeg hissed with immense venom and hatred in his voice.
“There you go. Take your pony and leave.” Captain said pushing the pony to Celestia. “And just so you know, Celestia. After you get done with whatever it is you’re doing here. You and me are going to have a long talk about where we are and what is going on.”
“All in due time Captain, all in due time.” Celestia said as she took the pegasus on her back and flew off. Several crew members came along with her, all heavily armed.
|♠|♠|♠|♠|
The captain and his crew were lead through the halls of the castle with Celestia in the lead. The sailors growled at and shoved any guard that dared to even come close to them or the captain.
“Are all of them necessary?” Celestia asked
“Think of them like your guards here. They are my bodyguards. And they are more loyal than a hound.” Captain said giving her a stoic expression.
“Twilight will be glad Rainbow Dash is alive, But I can’t same the same for the rest of you.” Celestia said grimly.
“Does it look like I care right now? I just want to get me and my men home safely.” Captain said merely blinking at her words.
“I see.” Celestia said quietly. Soon Celestia and the small group of sailors arrived in a large room with many murals on the walls. a few of the sailors looked around at the walls while the others kept the guards at bay.
“YOU!” A purple Alicorn shouted. Captain Luidvick simply blinked at the purple Alicorn as she stomped over to him. “YOU HURT MY FRIEND!”
“A acute observation. Did you also notice she was the only one alive?” Luidvick said coldly.
“Captain, that was not necessary.” Celestia said sternly.
“What is not? The fact that her rainbow friend got her entire crew killed?” Luidvick hissed at Celestia. “I find that a rather important detail to remember.”
“Or that they dun mussed up the ships engin’s with their magic mumbo jumbo trails.” Creeg pointed out angrilly.
“Or my tech.” Nigel said bitterly.
“I don’t believe you!” The Purple Alicorn hissed.
“Ask her yourself. Although I bet she would be too ashamed to actually tell the truth.” Luidvick said narrowing his eyes at the Purple alicorn.
“To bad an experienced and competent commander woulda stopped that from happnen.” Creeg added.
“Stop talking bad about rainbow dash!” The Purple Alicorn said charging her horn.
“Then tell her to stop doing stupid shit.” Captain said pulling out the L shaped object again and pointing it the purple alicorn.
“Ah’m gon’ blow her pretty lil face off.” Creeg said pointing his stick in a guards face as several other sailors folowed suit.
“If we are going out, we are gonna take a few of you with us.” Captain said glaring at the Alicorn.
“Twilight! Enough!” Celestia hissed. Twilight stopped her magic as Captain put his weapon away and his crew lowered their weapons.
“I’d say that if you want to keep your head. You’d best not do anything like that again.” Captain said before looking to Celestia. “Are we going to talk, or are you just going to try and start a battle you can’t win?”
“Twilight leave us and check on dash, The Captain and I have much to discuss.” Celestia said, the crew as well as the guards left soon after.
(One hour later)
“YOU’RE TELLING ME WHAT!?” Captain shouted from the room as a guard rushed in but was simply tossed out like a ragdoll into a wall.
“Sorry I thought you knew?” Celestia replied
“Lady, you’re telling me. That my crew, my ship, and myself are stuck in this godforsaken place!?” He shouted again and smashed his fists against the table cracking it.
“I haven’t forsaken anything!” Celestia replied angrilly
“YOU’RE JUST-... EERRGH...” Captain said clenching his fists and sighing. “You anger me so much... I swear.. I just might fire those cannons on my ship, just for the fuck of it!”
“Boss man es that true?” Creeg asked, he had been standing by the door and overheard close to everything.
“Creeg, go get the boys something to drink. Just leave me and this... Nice lady alone.” Captain said running his hands through his coal black hair.
“Ah ah sir.” Creeg replied before rushing off.
“Your crew are well disciplined.” Celestia said trying to brighten the captains spirits.
“They are more than likely better than your entire guard.” Captain said sourly. “All two thousands of them.”
“Two thousand? Why didn’t we discuss this inside.” Celestia asked with a puzzled expression
“You never brought it up.” Captain said shaking his head.
“Well I didn’t think I needed to. I thought you and the others Ive seen were it.” Celestia said defensively
“To run a ship that stretches over two hundred and seventy feet?” Captain asked with a ‘Are you stupid’ tone.
“Well I didn’t know, I thought it was powered by magic.” Celestia defended again.
“You god damned ponies and your stupid magic.” Captain said.
“I damn nothing!” Celestia replied “Whatever that means.”
“It means you condemn something to hell.” Captain said running his hands with his hair. “So can we please just get down to what the hell me and my men are supposed to do?”
“Um well I don’t really know.” Celestia replied nervously
“Is there anyone who would?” Captain said getting agitated.
“Well there is Twilight but-” Celestia began
“Doesn’t matter, get her in here.” Captain said leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed.
“Okay.” Celestia’s horn glowed a bit and then Twilight popped into the room looking bewildered, She then glared at the captain.
“YOU!” Twilight roared
“ME!” Captain bellowed back. “Didn’t we just go through this?”
“Yes.” Celestia face hooved.
“What do you want!?” Twilight shouted angrilly storming over to the captain.
“I want to talk about what me and my men are going to do!” Captain said leaning forward in his seat and turning to face Twilight.
“Well thats simple... GO HOME!” Twilight growled
“WE CAN’T YOU DUMB HORSE!” Captain shouted back angrily.
“There is no need for profanity!” Celestia said sternly, Twilight looked like she had just been hit by an artillery shell.
“How is that a swear word!?” Captain shouted.
“I don’t sell my body you monkey!” Twilight said with a cracking voice.
“That’s whore!” Captain said before facepalming. “Oh.. Right. Everything is a parody here.”
“Well you made her cry, I hope you’re happy.” Celestia said putting a wing over Twilight to comfort her.
“No, I feel like a total dick.” Captain said looking to Celestia. “I shot her best friend in the ass with a shotgun, and then called her a whore. Are you happy?”
“NO!” Both twilight and Celestia bellowed
“That’s what I thought. Now, I am sorry that I shot your best friend. And I am sorry that I called you a horse.” Captain said. “But I need to take care of my men, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure they stay alive.”
“Well I guess there is one thing...” Twilight said with a sniffle.
“Yes?” Captain asked hopefully.
“Could you take care of our diamond dog problem?” Twilight asked
“Oh like blow them sky high?” Captain asked smiling.
“You can do that?” Celestia asked
“We could level a city with two volleys.” Captain said smugly.
“What’s a volley?” Twilight asked, she had calmed down considerably.
“Think about a nice gentle rain...” Captain said.
“Not so bad....” Celestia said
“Of massive explosions and bombs.” Captain said.
“NO DON’T DO THAT! Just talk to them!” Twilight said shocked
“Oh... Well why didn’t you just say so?” Captain said standing up and pulling out his gun.
“NO NOT LIKE THAT EITHER!” Celestia said panicked
“Oh come on! Ugh... Fine.” Captain said putting the gun away. “Where are these ‘Diamond Dogs’? What are they a street gang?”
|♠|♠|♠|♠|
“Good god! That thing is hideous!” Captain shouted pulling out his gun and pointing it at the Diamond dog.
“Ah tell y’all what this thin’ needs a bullet ta tha head an’ thats fer damn sher.” Creeg said pointing his Pistol at them.
“No no no don’t do that.” Celestia said panicked
“We know not what we here for.” The Diamond Dog said with his small band of dogs behind him.
“Tha princesses wan’ y’all ta scram an’ stop kinappin’ ther’ ponies.” Creeg explained
“Or you will do what tall monkey?” The Diamond Dog sneered.
“We’ll blow you up.” Captain said coldly.
“Damn straigh’ we will.” Creeg said with a wicked grin
“With what? You can’t kill us all with one bomb.”
“Oh ho ho ho! We can’t can we? Let’s go to my ship then.” Captain said.
“Ou’ ship, she jus’ a much mahn as she is yours.” Creeg said proudly.
“NO! We can’t just go off half cocked here.” Celestia said with a terrified voice.
“Celestia this needs to be done!” Captain shouted before turning around. “Come on, I will show you all what Liberty can do.”
|♠|♠|♠|♠|
Soon they all were aboard the ship with the Captain standing proudly on the side of the ship with his hands behind his back. Celestia to his left and the Diamond dog to the right. The ship had left port and now was a safe distance from the coast to do a practice shooting. He turned his head to Celestia before saying.
“Celestia send out a ship. Any ship.” Captain said smiling. “Just make sure it’s not crewed.”
“But what abou-” Celestia Protested
“Just. Do it.” Captain said sternly. She just sighed before her horn glowed and a small rickety schooner was sent out into the ocean. He smiled and pulled out a radio. “Fire control, take aim.”
“Yes Cap’n!” Nigel said over the radio. “Target aquired!”
“Aye Aye targeting target at position three four zero.” A sailor shouted, the massive deck guns rotated towards the small schooner and leveled them selves off. “Waiting for command sir.”
“May ah do the honors sir?” Creeg asked from behind the group.
“Pass out a set of ear plugs for the newbies then yes.” Captain said smirking.
“Here put these in.” Creeg said handing a bunch of ear plugs to the princesses and diamond dogs. They put the small plugs in their ears and watched the boat. “Now on mah command, fahr at that thar ship.” Creeg said into the radio.
“On your command.” Nigel shouted happily.
“Ah’ll batteries fahr at will.” Creeg said, the massive guns were silent for a moment. Everything was calm until the cannons ripped through the silence and caused the ship to lean to one side, several streaks of light streamed towards the schooner. In a matter of seconds there was a massive spout of water as debris and fish rained down onto the deck. A loud cheer erupted from the crew.
“That’s what’s gonna happen if you don’t stop.” Captain said looking at the quaking Diamond Dog.
“Yes yes! We stop! Just no more Boom!” The Diamond Dog said with terrified grin. The Captain patted him on the head like the dog he was and chuckled.
“Good dog.” He said smiling before turning to Celestia. “And now you know I am not bluffing.”