//------------------------------// // Picking Up the Pieces // Story: For I Have no Friends, and Must Scream // by Richardson //------------------------------// Smells awoke her. The smells of... wow, that smelled like a Canterlotian Cheesy Chupaqueso Omelet. No, no... Spike wouldn't get up early enough to make some. Her mind or Trixie was playing tricks on her. Twilight twisted, turned and tossed in her temperamentally tumultuous traversal from dreaming to awareness. Then the most curious thing struck, or rather tickled her withers. A breeze balefully was tickling her bare belly with the moist touch of a foggy morning. And, she was strangely weightless. Yawning, Twilight stretched as she slowly fired up her mind. It was too early to be up. She screwed her eyes shut tighter as she shifted around in her unnatural bed, half-heartedly pleased that her movement was unrestricted. But despite all the comfort of her slumber spot, something prickled in her half-aware mind. Blearily and without opening her eyes, she called down to her assistant. "Spike, did I bubble myself with magic while I was asleep again?" Spike's amused snort echoed back to her from downstairs in the kitchen. The sound called Twilight's sense of hearing to the sizzle of frying cheese below as he spoke. "Not exactly, Twi. Are you going to have another lazy day today?" "My wakeup checklist doesn't include opening my eyes this morning!" Twilight grabbed a hunk of the strange pillowy substance she was laying on and dragged it over her eyes to defeat any plans of the vile evil Sun Princess to wake her with light. "Spike... ugh- tell Princess Celestia to turn off the sun." "Trixie... err, I can rewrite your morning schedule to include a wakeup by a petrified unicorn followed by opening your eyes for you." A tickling strand of magic unraveled itself from around Twilight's horn. It snaked down around her body, curling up around her like a great beast as it tingled its way towards her belly button. "Your dragon-" "His name is Spike, and- and- yawwnn." Twilight's maw creaked widely open in a sleep beckoning yawn as she rubbed at her pelt with her hooves. The tickling sensation that felt like a thousand ants crawling upon her continued against her will. "-And don't you... ooh- dare touch my 'No Wakeup' checklist's perfection." "Yes, sorry. Spike has told Trixie- err, I mean me of the 'Secret Sparkle Start Selector'. How cunning to- hey!" Trixie's disembodied voice raised in protest as Twilight instantly curled up on herself and planted all of her hooves over her belly button. Magic pried and pulled at the stubborn limbs, unable to budge them yet. "Now, now, Sparkle. You simply must wake up to witness your newest Stupendous and Spectacular feat." A sensation like a tongue or a wet feather slowly squeezed and pressed through the hoof blockade and delved into Twilight's belly button, eliciting a scream of ticklishness as she thrashed in her tiny curled up ball. The extremely fluffy and weight-canceling surface trapped her in place and left her unable to escape her devilish torture. "Spi-i-i-iike! I'm going to slay you, you traitor!" "Spike, it's not working. What do you do when pressing the start button doesn't work?" Trixie's voice seemed to whisper from everywhere at once as she continued to poke, press, and pry at Twilight's most ticklish spot. "One, that whole 'voice from everywhere' thing? Really creepy. Two, Princess Celestia said to do something with raspberries if the basic stuff didn't work." Spike's voice called up from below once more. The gurgle of pouring liquid rippled into Twilight's ears and the smell of COFFEE! hit her nose with the force of a princess pounce. Darn her beloved mentor for developing such devilish and deceitful ways to wake her. Sleep still called out to her, stand fast Sparkle! Trixie's menacing chuckle snickered directly into Twilight's ear. A steady stream of air pressed against the semi-sleeping unicorn's belly in anticipation as magic rolled Twilight onto her back. The purple unicorn whimpered in dread at the prospects of what was to come as Trixie slowly spoke to her. "My, my. How...cunningly common of Princess Celestia. Surely the-" The pinch of magically faked hooves pressed into Twilight's gut, sliding all over it until they firmly grasped the dreaded nub. "-Great and Powerful-" The wind passing over Twilight's belly focused tightly, squeezing her her hooves to her most vulnerable point. "-Trixie can do so much better." Air rushed into a simulated set of lungs with a deep whoosh, before it ripped straight down into the heart of the matter. BBBBhhhhhppppbbbtt! Twilight jerked the rest of the way awake with a scream of a mare tickled past her breaking point. She yelped out a litany of protests as she thrashed about instinctively in her bedding, tangling up amongst the not-sheets. "Please stop, I'm up Prin-... Trixie, I'd be turning you into a bunny right now if you weren't already stone!" Twilight struggled to free herself, yanking on all of her fluff-embedded hooves with all of her might. "Trixie is hurt. I mean, a bunny is rather low after the lesson I taught you last night. I would have assumed you would turn me into a great tree, or manticore, or a sleeping dragon." Trixie's voice trickled into Twilight's ears as the fluff that the unicorn was buried up to her neck in began to shift. Twilight frowned in confusion, stopping her movements. "What lesson? I was asleep last night after we talked with Spike." The student of Celestia found the bonds on her hooves suddenly slacking, and pulled them tight to her chest and belly once more. The baleful breeze blew once more, rocking her resting place with its passage. Twilight held a hoof up to her eyes, marveling as she noticed what was still sticking to her form all over. "Clouds? How are clouds-" "You don't remember the little experience my benefactor arranged for us? Canterlot Academy, you had just joined and I had a few years on you but somehow we were both students of the princess?" Trixie let her astral projection fade into existence, sitting beside Twilight's new nest cheekily. Memory rushed back to Twilight, a blush filling her face as she remembered what she had done. "And I teleported you blindly across half the campus without your permission! Ooh, what was I thinking!?" Trixie sighed, her point of view through Twilight's eyes making the shame effectively invisible for her as she stroked Twilight's back with her magic. "Dream magic can cause mental alterations to fit with the persona the dreamer takes on in their dream. As you had been a 10 year old, so did your mind revert to the same age. Elementary! Besides, Trixie... ugh, I have done far worse in the waking world." "Like?" "Like keeping you from your pancakes, Twi." Spike waddled in holding a massively overfilled breakfast tray in paw. He set it down before Twilight and rubbed his chin with his now freed paws thoughtfully. "I mean, yeah, she gets some coolness back with the way she was able to make a cloud from hot bubble bath steam-" "Bubble bath? What bubble bath!?" "-But she's keeping you from a hot delicious Canterlot Chupaqueso! You love those, and that's just plain evil!" Spike pointed a claw into the air to emphasize his point, stamping his foot to show how much he wanted Twilight to eat that meal. Twilight's stomach growled with the strength and ferocity of an Ursa Major at the thought. Spike set a determined look against Twilight as he scooted it closer to the cloud. "Twilight, we both know how crazy and cranky you get when you don't eat right!" "I do not get craan-keeeeeeeyyaaagh!" Twilight planted herself on the floor face-first as she instinctively tried to cancel the cloud walking spell while she stepped off of the fluffy mass. Her limp body flopped back to the floor, sprawling out as she nudged the tray with her nose. Her deft tongue licked out and dragged a hash-brown to its munchy doom a moment later as Twilight conceded defeat. "Okay, maybe just a little cranky." Spike and Trixie laughed a bit at Twilight's misfortune before Spike helped her back to a sitting position before her meal. "So Twi, what's the plan for today?" Twilight paused mid-chew on one of the chupaqueso. She pulled her face out of the cheesy goodness, swallowing slowly and noisily to speak. "What do you mean, Spike?" Spike gestured vaguely in the direction of Trixie's illusion in an attempt to silently make his point. His oblivious caretaker shook her head, unable to make heads or tails of the motions to his great frustration. Spike pointed dramatically in the direction of the illusionary illusionist, raising Twilight's eyebrow curiously. "Ugh! What are you going to do about Trixie?" The two mares’ ears wilted backwards in sudden worry simultaneously. Neither had come up with any further plans than 'study until a solution presents itself'. But what else was there to study? Other than Starswirl's journal, none of the books had actually gone deep into the cockatrice's curse. Instead they focused on the bare basics of the spell so that somepony could spot it, or the physiology and habits of the monstrous creature, or the best way to kill them. Everypony considered it such a waste of time to even bother studying the curse. And she couldn't blame them. So, they were at an impasse, and she couldn't do anything more to help Trixie. Unless... "Trixie, is it true? What the dream showed me, I mean." Twilight chewed slower, spreading out her bites of delicious cheesy goodness so she could talk between them, "Did your mother really- uh, vaporize, or whatever it was that happened to her?" Trixie's projected voice hitched and cracked with sadness as she made her illusionary body nod. "Yes." Spike looked wide-eyed to Trixie, and then turned introspective for a moment, remembering his own life experiences growing up. "No mom?" Trixie nodded sadly at his words. "No dad, or grandparents, or sisters? Not even a brother?" Trixie continued to nod slowly and quietly, letting her host eat in peace. "You have no family?" Spike looked over the now thoroughly dejected showmare, unable to remotely imagine what her life must have been like at first. Most ponies in Canterlot just pretended he didn't exist. He had... well; he had a family, a support network despite that. Now he just felt like a little bit of mildew on a book at how he had judged Trixie by her first actions. "I... uh-... wow you came out good for an orphan!" "SPIKE!" "No, no. I- Trixie has no excuse for her actions before the Ursa. She was... taught to be better than she is by her mother. Trixie should have found better ways to deal with her hecklers. Should have been a better pony than she was." Trixie let her apparition fade away in shame. She had let the years beat her down, tear away her noble showmareship. Her mother would have spanked her silly for the way that she had so rudely handled her hecklers Twilight closed her eyes trying to recall the details of their shared dream. Like the- "Spike! I know what I need to do! We've got to go, have dinner ready for us, it'll take a while!" Twilight hopped to her hooves like a mare on fire, deftly hurdling over her mostly finished breakfast without spilling a bit of their remains. She dashed out the bedroom door, leaving a thoroughly confused Spike behind. "And she didn't even tell me where she was going. Again." -------------------------------------------------------------------- 'You know, Trixie would really like to know where we are going.' Twilight weaved through the last of the crowds, rushing out of Ponyville towards her destination. Ponies all around had called out to them asking about Twilight's madcap rush towards the edge of town. Twilight paid no heed, as she was too busy plotting out her path ten strides in advance and going over the weather for the past three weeks. Trixie's things hadn't been sitting around all that long. Well, if they hadn't been damaged or looted on their journey there. Lost personal effects were supposed to be held for a month, after all. At least before getting moved to be disposed of and recycled. 'What- Oh. You- you're going to-' 'They're the last bits of your mom that you have. I don't know what I would do if I lost all of my family.' Twilight crested the final hill on the outskirts of town, beholding the compact sprawl before her. Down in the dell, where the smells and sights couldn't plague the rest of town sat the Ponyville dump, Green Acres. The part time work crews were busily sorting through as much of the trash of the week to pick out recyclable material, and shoveling much of the rest to be either burned or turned to fertilizer. The smell prickled Twilight's nose, and she found herself oddly jealous of her spectral passenger. 'They should be keeping whatever could be salvaged from your things in the lost and found of the office.' Twilight picked out the administrative building at the edge of the bustle, and began trotting down the hill towards it. 'Momma's photos...' 'I hope so, Trixie. She seemed, oh nevermind.' Twilight planted her hooves, skidding down the steep gravel path and slid to a halt before the front door of the offices. She danced from hoof to hoof from the stinging from her hooves grating against rock crumbs. The poor unicorn could feel a dozen scrapes stinging her hooves like little pinpricks of Rarity's needles along her lower legs. 'What? She seemed beautiful? Unearthly? More than a mare and in her own way as warm and loving as Princess Celestia? My memories might be tainted by my youth, but Trixie- grr- I will not deny that she was... something.' Twilight shuddered at the thought, shaking her head violently to remove the images unwittingly planted by Trixie. She didn't need to know that, did not need to know that, SHOULD NOT HAVE HEARD THAT! She nearly shoved the generic beige office door off its hinges as she dove inside the brown brick building. Alas, there wasn't a water cooler that she could wash the images out of her head with; she was stuck with them for the rest of the day. Twilight looked around the nearly deserted office, realizing that all the workers were outside actually handling trash. The room was remarkably... sterile. Antiseptic and clean and bland to the point of being memorably forgettable. It was probably built and decorated to government specifications, given that Twilight had seen many an office in Canterlot that looked eerily identical. A counter seperated the public area from the office space, and Twilight trotted up to its faux-marble coated surface quietly. Trixie would have rolled her eyes if she had any, grabbing ahold of the service bell with her magic and ringing it until it metaphorically begged for mercy. Her host broke the spectral showpony's invisible grip on it and set it back down on the countertop gingerly. All the same, the floor began to quake as the sole remaining occupant of the building stepped forth from his private office. "Can I help you, Miss?" The part-time manager of the Ponyville Landfill shook the floor as he squeezed through the doorway to his office gingerly, his gruff voice tingling every hair on Twilight's body. The massive pegasus stallion stood as tall as Big Macintosh, but had bulked himself out to terrifying and awe-inspiring proportions. Twilight shrank back from his freakishly overmuscled white form for a moment before she remembered her manners. She cleared her throat, standing up straight once more to respond. "Yes, I'm Twilight Sparkle and I-" "Wait, you're the new pony from Canterlot who is always dumping glass and toxic potion residue in the trash!" The beady reddish eyes of the stallion squinted in tight and seemingly bored a hole straight into Twilight's mind. His smile hadn't left his face, even if his whole body had tensed up. "Um, yes?" Twilight timidly responded. "Don't do that! RECYCLE! And properly dispose of hazardous materials! Yeeaah?" The massive stallion's voice rose by several decibels as he spoke. His poor work vest and tie creaked ominously as his whole body twitched with stress. Twilight nodded in order to get him to stop. "Umm, Yeah?" "YEEAAAAAH!" The massive stallion stopped after a second as he witnessed the way that Twilight cowered away from his outburst. Clearing his throat, he picked up a clipboard from the wall and straightened his vest and tie. "So what brings you to Green Acres?" "I'm here to pick up somepony's things; they should be in the lost and found." Twilight hesitated for a moment as the white stallion and headed towards the office he had come from. The sparse furniture of the office let them easily pass through the wide aisles. Poor little desk-bound ferns and plants shuddered from their passage, and files of all descriptions jiggled apart onto desktops. Surprisingly, somehow the stallion fit through his door with ease, fitting comfortably into his small office with plenty of room left for his desk and Twilight. He picked up a tiny set of bifocal glasses and set them upon his nose as he rustled through the loose papers on his desk. Each opening of the filing cabinet behind him made a massive set of barbells creak and groan ominously against the structure of the building. Finally, he looked up from his now organized folders and barked out his request. "Naaame!" "Trixie. Possibly under 'Great and Powerful Trixie' or 'Trixie Lulamoon'. She's fearful for her life and is hiding out outside of town because she's too afraid to return." Twilight wasn't exactly lying. Though the truth did suffer some constructive rearranging for maximum results as she sweated in place where she sat. Hopefully he wouldn't ask any further. The snow-white stallion skeptically raised an eyebrow, his gaze beating down on Twilight and made her feel like a foal again in the process. The stallion reached into the clutter of paper upon his desk and unerringly picked a single form out for Twilight to fill out. His voice grew more cultured and refined as he adjusted his glasses, speaking once more. "Most unusual. This release form needs to be signed by her before I hoof it over. Yeah?" Twilight found herself infected by the stallion's enthusiasm. "Yeah!" "YEAAAAAAAH! Now don't come back until it's done!" The massive manager pointed out the door sternly, convincing Twilight to follow his instructions with a flex of his muscles that instantly shredded his vest and tie. He groaned and rubbed his face with a forehoof, continuing to point out the door. "Sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. Have a nice day." 'So, Trixie is thinking Paperwork first, then her things, then finding out where that stallion lives.' --------------------------------------------------- 'Trixie doesn't know whether or not to be frightened at how much you know about the history of forms, or fascinated by it. She shall settle for both.' Twilight rolled her eyes mirthfully as she continued writing, happily sprawled out upon one of the benches in the Ponyville Park as she did. It was too good of a day to be filling out forms buried away in her library. No, the right spot to be was out where the shining sun could warm her mane and where the fresh breeze from Canterlot could soothe her nose. A pity she only had such a small form. It was only a single page front and back. Actually, it was kind of adorable little thing. It even had a custom border with little ponies and a non-standard font. But there still wasn't very much in the way of meaty blanks for her to fill out. 'And now she's pining for a larger form. How disturbing.' 'Trixie, I have a dictionary. And I'm not afraid to read it from Aardvark to Zygotes.' Twilight added her signature in the necessary block with a flourish of her magic. A split second later she ducked her head, allowing the ball from the foals playing in the nearby meadow to pass where her head had been harmlessly. She set the quill down next to the blank for Trixie's signature and turned her attention to the park guests for a moment. Amidst the last fall blooming of flowers, a half a dozen foals frolicked around their minder, who had found herself wrapped up quite extensively by their leashes from when they had run around and around her. The little children were popping in and out of the bushes around their small clearing, one even floating on a cloud hanging in the middle of the deep blue skies. Twilight turned her attention back to her guest, mentally calling out to her. 'Do you think you can sign this, Trixie?' 'Trixie... err, ugh- I have performed far harder feats of remote manipulation in the past. Observe, and be amazed!' A blue glow surrounded the quill, wobbly picking it up into the air before Twilight's eyes. It hesitantly wobbled over to the start of the remaining space, shaking like a leaf in the wind. Bit by painstaking bit, Trixie's signature etched itself out onto the page, completing the form. Twilight looked closely at the writing, marveling at a small detail of her passenger's abilities. 'Why is your signature better than mine? You're a spirit in my head!' 'Don't remind Trixie. But, autographs are such lovely things for practicing writing. Do please try to remember my previous life.' Twilight yelped as an impact snapped her head to the left painfully. The loud bonk of hollow rubber hitting fur and flesh at more than 50 miles an hour ran in her ears and left her disoriented. The sound of stampeding hooves vaguely brushed her awareness as she shook it out, and she looked up to see a foal running up to her. "Twilight, Twilight! Miss Twilight!" A dozen more rushed up behind the first, trailing flower petals and dust from the speed and force of their passage through the meadow. The perky little preschool foals bounced and hopped and danced all around her, cheering that they had found the most interesting pony in Ponyville. Twilight looked around bewilderedly at the children of all coats, shapes, and races. For the life of her she couldn't figure out what she had done to earn such an audience. "Can I help everypony?" "My sis says you can do anything!" "Anything!" "Show us a magic trick!" "Make some sparklwey thwings!" "Please!" "Please?" "Please-please-please!" 'Um, let me, Sparkle.' Twilight felt the slight heat on the tip of her horn as she recoiled from her enthusiastically bouncing audience. She could hear the whistle of a magical firework shooting up high into the skies at Trixie's command, where it burst with a crackle of sparks. Twilight squirmed in a little as all the foals cheered even louder and pressed in against her. Too many ponies all at once! It was worse than Pinkie's parties! She shouldn't be feeling like Fluttershy. 'Calm down, Sparkle! They love you; they're hoping you'll shoot off another sparkler to entertain them. They mean no harm; just put up low strength force fields to push them back!' The little foals didn't mind as they were pressed back from Twilight by a hooflength or two, continuing on with their cheer and laughing and bouncing even as their minder arrived with a tired flapping flop of her wings. The haggard mare took one look at the sea of knee-knocking kids and cried out in irritation and exasperation. "Playing in the park does not mean bugging everypony who looks interesting! Get over here and leave Miss Sparkle alone!" "But fireworks..." "Fireworks!" Twilight swallowed back the slight twinge of fear so she could speak to her savior. "It's not that big of a deal, Ma’am. I had just gotten done with my work, actually. I love helping foals explore the realms of magic with a trick or two!" Twilight blinked with surprise at what had come out of her mouth. A trick or two? She had sounded disturbingly like Trixie for a moment there. "Oh dearie, you are such a wonderful pony. This full bushel of trouble must have been an awful bother." The gentle pegasus snatched one of the foals into the air and retied her harness so that the little pony couldn't escape and run off again. Luckily, she could hold them away from herself so their kicking wouldn't catch her. "No, no! My pleasure." Twilight took her savior's hoof and shook it gently in appreciation. The mare pursed her lips as she looked between her foals and the mare that had unwittingly prevented their escape. She sighed and shook Twilight's hoof once more as she dismissed her musing altogether. "Almost makes me wish you could come over to the Ponyville Orphanage to entertain the dearies. They get so lonely at night, you know? I wanted to get that poor dear Trixie, but she got run out of town. I hear that the authorities are presuming her dead at this point." "She's not. But, uh... she can't come back to Ponyville for at least a year." "Oh, oh my. I assume she's in some kind of trouble, then. If Miss Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and those other ponies hadn't done so much for the town, I would be tempted to sic the authorities on them for harassment. They mean well, but they've gotten overprotective of us after the last few times." The pegasus mare hovered up over her charges, counting them with a hoof as she spoke with Twilight. She wistfully lowered herself so she could stroke out a cowlick on a particularly brash colt, who continued to hop a few inches from Twilight's face. 'Last few times? That might explain why Trixie has received such a tepid reception over the past year in small towns. Ugh, I mean I! I! Curse thee, stage persona!' Twilight skeptically repeated what her new companion had said as she squirmed up against the back of the park bench tighter. "Last few times? What exactly do you mean?" "Oh, last year it was those horrible Shim-Sham brothers. They set up a cider booth in town, and to get their supply they kept stealing from Sweet Apple Acres. The worst part is that they didn't take care of their cider and kept getting ponies horribly sick. Those two vile things nearly drove Sweet Apple Acres out of business from stealing so much. Bushy mustaches and beards, cream coats with apple green manes and tails." The pegasus foalkeeper growled unpleasantly at the memory, shaking herself from nose-tip to tail tip from some memory of food poisoning. As she did, all the foals’ bleagh-ed in memory of how bad the cider had gotten before the end. "Well, that would explain why Applejack would be wary, but last few times? That happened more than once?" Twilight uncomfortably looked across the park towards town, wondering why Ponyville seemed to be less of a town and more of a free-range asylum. "Well, Rainbow Dash faced off with an utter villain of a pegasus who went around calling himself 'Doctor Insano'. That brute created some sort of lightning generator, and was using Ponyville as a test run before unleashing himself on Canterlot. He had these wonderful little lamps powered by it, but they were set to turn on their owners when he flipped a switch. If Dash and Miss Sunbeam hadn't stopped him, I shudder to think what he might have done." The pegasus looked down, seeing her sittees bouncing up and down in even more of a frenzy than ever before as they impatiently waited to get a move on. Twilight winced as she thought about the idea of ponies getting zapped by lightning in their own homes. But, if Applejack had faced mad cider makers, and Dash a mad weather engineer, what had Rarity faced? A mad fashion designer that kidnapped ponies and made them the stars of an eternal fashion show? "I hate to ask, but I'm assuming that from the way she reacted, Rarity had a bad encounter as well?" "Yes, well she- everypony settle down!" The gentle pegasus barked out her order to her charges, smiling satisfiedly as they instantly dropped to a dull rumble from their shouting and hopping. "Well, she stopped a vile little traveling magician. He would put on shows and stick some kind of little magic golem on ponies when they weren't looking so he could rob them blind in the night." "And Trixie had the bad luck to show up in town after all those bad apples. No wonder. That's not fair at all for her." Twilight shook her head, dismissing a snort from her mental roommate. Well, maybe she could, since she had an expert and all. "You know what, I'd gladly help out. Anytime you want a show, I'll do my best to put one on. It's not going to be a problem at all." "Oh, how wonderful. These poor little things have been looking for a role model besides me for years! You'll be perfect. I run the Ponyville Orphanage, if you can make it down there." The foal-minder tugged on the leashes of her charges, spurring the foals into their boisterous riot of motion once more. The mass of foals cheered out their approval as they tried to thunder down the road, nearly yanking the wings off of their guardian's back in the process. "Easy, children! Don't get too excited yet, we have to clean the orphanage for Miss Sparkle! Slow down!" Twilight gasped, as she remembered that she had forgotten the most important part of the 'Making a new Friend' checklist. "Wait, I never got your name!" "It's Calming Waltz, dear-ieeeeeeee!" The rest of what she had to say was drowned out by the roar of the foals as they rushed forward. 'Trixie is going to need to train the stupendous and spectacular Sparkle, she can already tell. But first, her things!' Magic yanked on Twilight's ear, getting her up onto her hooves and pointed towards Green Acres. 'Giddieyup, magic pony!' 'Trixie, that dictionary has your name on it!' ------------------------------------------------------ "Everything seems to be in order, Miss Sparkle. We have just one more check to conduct before we can hoof Miss Lulamoon's effects to you." The part-time landfill manager glanced back up from the form to look at Twilight's nervously twitching frame. He adjusted his glasses as he pushed some of the knick-knacks and stacks of paper on his desk around to make room for something. "Is there some reason you are so nervous, Miss Sparkle?" "Nervous? Where?" Twilight flinched back as the massively built stallion leaned in closer to her. Oh! Oh! Oh, no. He had just pulled out a magical scanner out of his desk and set it up. He was going to scan Trixie's signature and magic against the Canterlot Archives, and then she would go to jail for fraud and Princess Celestia would find out about Trixie and- Trixie's mental voice thundered in her head as Trixie overrode her frantically spiraling train of thought and put it back on the tracks. 'You're nervous because you volunteered to do a show for the Ponyville Orphanage and you are woefully underprepared for the job. You are unprepared because it was a spur of the moment decision. Calm down, say it slowly, but with a hint of nervousness to show that you're making plans.' Twilight sat up ramrod straight on the visitor cushion at Trixie's prompt. Calmly, but rather stiltedly, she repeated what Trixie had told her. "Oh, I'm sorry. You meant me. I just volunteered for a show in the Ponyville Orphanage. The foals swarmed me in the park, and I couldn't just ignore them after all. But, I don't have a checklist for putting on magic shows, and I haven't done any research on what small children like..." Twilight trailed off as the manager raised his eyebrow once more. "Really." Not a question, but a doubting statement as he slid the form under the crystal of the scanner he had just set up. Both ponies watched and waited as tiny lines of light burst from the scanner and traced over every single fiber of the form, leaving nothing untouched until it was satisfied with its result. For a moment, nothing happened as the lines of light slurped back up into the crystal. Then, it lit up white and zapped the glasses on the manager's face, displaying something on them in lettering too small for Twilight to read from her vantage point. The stallion cleared his throat, taking the form out and setting it to one side as he began to speak. "Almost everything appears to be in order. Everything, save for one small issue." 'He didn't entirely buy it. Stay calm, graciously say that you won't feel right if you disappoint the children, and that you hope it's just a glitch in the scanner.' Twilight managed to sound a little more natural as she spoon-fed the stallion her next set of dictated words. "Oh no, I hope there isn't anything wrong with the scanner. I've heard that they don't always read quite right." Twilight rubbed the back of her neck in nervous reflex as she waited for the stallion to make a decision. Steadfastly, she turned her gaze from him to wander across the small hanging photographs and medals adorning the beige and untextured walls. "I mean, it just wouldn't be right if I was delayed here long enough to miss putting on a show for those poor foals." The stallion rumbled quietly under his breath in thought as he set the form down. His tiny wings fluttered as he took his glasses off and looked at the form once more. "You're probably right, Miss Sparkle. It's just a slight magical contamination of Miss Lulamoon's hornwriting. Easily explained by your handling of the form." He reached up into one of the nicely paneled upper cabinets behind his desk, withdrawing a key within his teeth. Twilight got a good look inside of it, seeing little weights sitting atop neatly stacked folders alongside gleaming scanning crystals and a box full of neglected trophies. "If you will follow me, we'll go pick up her things right now." Twilight nodded a little too eagerly, earning a snort of intrigue from her guide. Her hoofsteps followed the impossibly hovering pegasus back out into the sterile main office, which remained as empty and seemingly abandoned as earlier that morning. He waived his hoof once more as she followed, gingerly flying towards a blue door in the back as he coaxed her along. "By the way, where is everypony?" The stallion grunted and flexed his heavily muscled body once more as they stopped outside the door. The tattered remains of his vest ripped a little farther and his bones creaked as he stretched out. "Office work is part-TIIIME! Most run shops in town." He barked out 'time' and 'shops' like he had just dead lifted a 2000 pound weight and threw it clean to Canterlot. After a moment, he relaxed and shook out the key ring until a blue-tagged key slid to the bottom and eliminated the need to hunt for it. "Wait, that's where I know you from!" 'That's it, keep him occupied with small talk so he forgets your slipups earlier!' The bulky stallion grunted once more as he stuck the key into the lock, fighting it with his hoof when it stubbornly didn't want to go in right. "YeeeAAAA-ahem. I run the gyyyyym! in town, yes." He turned his attention back to the door as the key jammed inside the lock with a tiny scrape of metal. "Uh- Snow... uh- Snooooow- I know it... uh... Snow- drop?" "SnowFLAAAKE! Special Snowflake's Generator Gym! The dynamic dynamo where we turn colts into MEEEEN!" Snowflake nearly wrenched the knob off of the door in his enthusiasm. Fueled by the burst of energy, the delicate key slid home with a click and swung open silently. Twilight looked in and gasped with awe at the massive plethora of personal belongings piled perilously within. The room was huge, and half of its shelves were filled with bags and clothes and all manner of it- 'That chest! It's from my cart!' Oh, and Trixie's belongings, which were being kept conveniently in the near corner of the room. "I take it that the chest holds Trixie's things? Well, I hope it holds Trixie's things." Twilight crept forward into the room, vaguely feeling like she was stepping into a Daring Do novel. Old and musty paper smells mingled with those of clothes and other sundry scents. "Everything that could be repaired and saved is within it, ma’am. A photo album, a hat and cape, a few... odd books, the chest, and I believe there are a few other small items. Oh, and a doll of Princess Luna, though it's an odd one. Funny thing is that it looks like it came from the Neighties, but that was twenty years ago." Snowflake opened the chest, showing off the recovered and repaired items within it. Atop the pile, sitting on the notorious hat of Trixie sat the aforementioned blue doll. A doll that was pretty clearly Princess Luna, but not as Twilight had ever seen her. She certainly didn't have a dark blue coat and a two-toned starry mane the last time she had checked. 'Lu-LU! Uh, ahem... Trixie means to say to ask him calmly as to how to finish signing for Trixie's things so we can take them home.' Twilight picked up the doll with gentle care, inspecting its starry mane with interest. The fabric almost looked enchanted. Why she could- and she was slipping into research mode again. Bad Twilight. Bad! Focus on ad-hoc checklist. Next step was to talk to Snowflake again. "Is there anything else I need to do before I can take Trixie's things to her?" Twilight turned her attention back to Snowflake just in time to see him shake his head in the negative. "No ma’am. But, if you see Miss Lulamoon, please inform her that Princess Luna requests an audience with her." The musclepony held the door open for Twilight as the purple unicorn threw the doll back in the chest and shut the travel box. He looked on in slight interest and impressed awe as she picked it up with ease in her aura and began carrying it towards the door. Wait a second, Princess Luna requesting a what? "What, when!?" 'Trixie doesn't want to know. They know of her, and want to send Trixie on, she just knows it!' "A week or two before Miss Lulamoom arrived in town. She wants to see Miss Lulamoon at her earliest convenience, and is willing to meet her on her own ground. They sent a flier and everything." Snowflake reached across the hall as Twilight came out, presenting the poster hanging there. Twilight barely held back a gasp as she noticed how Princess Luna had changed from their first meeting. Inset into one of the bottom corners, the small portrait of the alicorn of the night was a near dead ringer for the doll held in the chest. Well, it was a dead ringer other than being slightly off-color subtly. Twilight shakily nodded to Snowflake, startled by the revelation slightly. "I'll... uh, do that. Yeah." "YEAAAAAAH!" ------------------------------------ "Spike, we're back! I need to drop Trixie's things off down in the basement, and then I'll be right back up! We've got a checklist to make!" Twilight slammed her front door shut behind the chest she had dragged back loudly, shaking the whole tree. Spike leaned out of the kitchen, straightening a top had he had mysteriously picked up and hiding a false whip mustache behind himself. Coming home sounding like Pinkie, mysteriously slamming the doors, making a crazy new checklist? Uh-oh. "Checklist? Checklist for what, Twi?" The baby dragon looked back into the kitchen, making shushing motions with a claw. "I agreed to do a magic show for the Ponyville Orphanage!" Twilight carefully shoved the floating chest across the room towards the basement door, slamming it open with her magic as she approached. She disturbingly cheerfully trotted through and down past the threshold into the basement beyond as Spike studiously kept the kitchen door shut. Spike waited until Twilight had disappeared into the basement before opening the kitchen once more and frantically waving 'come hither' to the occupant within. From inside, a rhythmic thumping sound could be heard as the hidden occupant emerged. Spike hopped and danced anxiously in wait before running back inside to speed up the process. "Spike, give me a moo-meeeEENT!" Spike reemerged from the kitchen carrying a hog-tied Rarity above him. The fashionata squirmed and shimmied in the air above Spike uncomfortably as he carted her away. "A little more practice than I desired, Spike. Could you please set me down?" Rarity squirmed her legs where they were tightly bound together in the air as she was taken away upside down. Spike shook his head and quickly and quietly ran to the back door. "No time, Rarity! I'll explain later!" "Spike, wait! Don't-" Rarity fumed as Spike set her down gently on the concrete back stoop before shutting the wooden door in her face so he could run towards the basement inside. "-leave me tied up. Oooh, Spike Sparkle, I am going to get him for this!" Resolutely, Rarity rolled, squirmed, and hopped back to her hooves and daintily began to hop her way back to her Carousel Boutique.