-Prologue-
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"Alone, against a serried world he stood,
His few companions melted from his side,
Yet all his life he ceased not in the strife—
Nor had he won the battle when he died."
-The Forlorn Hope by Isabel Ecclestone Mackay
My name is Twilight Sparkle.
Right now, I'm living something I used to only dream of.
I... I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Prin- er, Celestia wants me to stay here in Canterlot permanently.
As in forever.
She wants me to live here, as the third Princess of Equestria. I wanted to say no, I wanted to argue with her and get my way. I wanted to go back to the library, back to my friends. But...
I didn't.
I just agreed with her. I mean, she is the eldest of the Princesses, and my former mentor, so I should listen, right?
So I'm not going back to Ponyville, or at least not to live there. It would be weird for a Princess to live in a small town anyways, so I guess it makes sense...
There I go making excuses again.
I just don't think I can do it. My friends... well, they're the only reason I even got to "fulfill my destiny", and become an alicorn!
I wouldn't be here if it weren't for them!
I.. I wouldn't...
So many ponies wouldn't be here if not for them.
I didn't do anything when Nightmare Moon returned; I fought against what I was supposed to do, what Celestia told me to do, as best as I could. It was only because of my soon-to-be friends that my selfish eyes were opened, and the sixth element appeared. I never would've understood friendship.
I wouldn't have ever had those amazing times in Ponyville.
No friendship reports.
No elements of harmony.
Nightmare Moon would have likely taken over Equestria, leaving Celestia locked in the Sun forever. Luna would have never had her second chance. We would all be in a shroud of darkness.
I could have very well died by now.
And what about discord? Or Queen Chrysalis? Sombra?
What about those other villains?
Discord could have overthrown Nightmare Moon, and warped the land into a Kingdom of Chaos.
Queen Chrysalis could have slowly but surely enslaved all of ponykind from behind the scenes.
I honestly don't know what Sombra would have done, but he seemed to have substantial magic capabilities that rivaled my own in his weakened state.
Either one of them could have even joined forces with Nightmare Moon.
All I know is that without my friends, the element bearers, Equestria wouldn't be the same.
I wouldn't be the same.
So first they help me achieve princesshood, and now I'm just going to abandon them?
How could I?
And just after I attained a full understanding of friendship, too. I don't know what I'll do without them.
I don't think I can live without them.
I guess I'll still get to see them, but not as much as I am used to. Not everyday.
No more weekly lunches, random get-togethers, Pinkie parties... my life will be so different now.
"Oh look, the Princess of Friendship, bearer of the sixth Element of Harmony, Magic, stuck up in Canterlot all alone. Some friend she is. I guess friendship isn't that important to her. Maybe it just isn't."
That's what they'll say.
It won't only make me look bad, but it will make friendship seem worthless! It isn't a waste of time! I already learned that!
I can't just let it go..
I need them.
And I can only hope that they need me.
I've been thinking about this over and over for a few days now, as soon as my former teacher told me of my new future. I'm in Ponyville right now, supposedly packing my things. I should be making preparations, writing lists, and hanging out with my friends while I can. I should be telling them about how I feel, that I don't want to leave them.
But I've locked myself away instead.
I've been in my room, and everypony thinks I'm doing what I'm supposed to.
I know that Spike, bless him, has made up a few checklists for me, and has even started some of the packing. None of the books, of course. They belong to the Ponyville Library, yet another thing I'll miss.
Spike may think something is wrong, he's always very silent when he does. He always knocks on my door, and has been making most of our meals since we got back. He doesn't really say anything though. He just acts like everything is normal. Does he know how I feel?
Does he even care?
Countless ponies have tried to come visit me here since I've come to Ponyville to get my things, and Spike has sent them all away on the account that I am "very busy packing". I told him to tell my friends that too.
I can't talk to them right now.
Not until I've sorted all of this out.
Not while I feel as if I'm betraying them.
I wonder how it will be like, once I'm in Canterlot. Luna told me that they are converting Cadance's old chambers into a slightly larger version to accompany me, as she now resides solely in the Chrystal Empire. What will my jobs be? Will I be able to do anything?
I feel like I've been doing too much thinking lately.
I feel so lost.
So alone.
I know it's all in my head, but in the same breath, I don't.
My heart aches so bad; I feel broken. And I haven't even left them yet. How will I feel when I have? I can't bear to think about it, and I don't want to feel like this anymore.
I should tell them. I should tell Celestia. I should tell Luna, Cadance, anypony! But I can't. I... I'm afraid. Afraid that they'll laugh at me. Afraid that they'll call me weak.
How can I be me without them?
Without them, there's no Laughter, no Loyalty, no Honesty, no Kindness, and no Generosity in my life.
I'm still the same selfish pony I was before them, and I always will be.
And I hate it.
I hate feeling helpless. Alone. Crushed. Stupid.
It's all in my head, and I know it!
So why do I feel this way?
Just please, anypony help!
Anypony!
Please...
Help me....