//------------------------------// // Surfacing // Story: Entries from the Diary of Amber Song // by meerkat8472 //------------------------------// February 6 1005 Today I awoke in my parents room. Of course I did not sleep in their bed with them, I slept on a folding bed we have for guests. I set it up at the foot of their bed, that way I knew they were close at hoof if I felt lonely. It is rare for my sleep cycle to be interrupted by bad dreams, but it can happen, last night I expected it to. However I do not think I had any dreams last night, either that or a have forgotten them. I tend to forget my dreams rather quickly, I do not know why. I was not very enthusiastic about getting out of bed, however I had to eat. I walked into the kitchen finding my mother reading a book at the table, it would appear she had been waiting for me. She notices me enter the room and immediately rushes over to me to give me a hug. I was feeling rather empty, but it felt good to have a hug. She asked me if I wanted any breakfast, I said yes and made my way to my usual seat at the table. I asked mother where father was, she informed me that he had left earlier to organize something. She served me two pieces of wholemeal toast with scrambled eggs and a glass of milk. She sat next to me at the table in silence, just watching me eat. It felt nice to have her presence there. After I had finished eating, she slowly reached a hoof out. Touching me on the shoulder, with a slightly hopeful expression, she carefully asked. “Are you feeling any better today honey?” “No mother, I still feel like I will never be accepted in the community. I'll just have to make sure I always go outside with father, maybe then ponies will leave me alone.” I said as I lowered my head. “Oh honey.” She said as she plled me into another hug. “I know how you're feeling right now, you're in a terrible place, but I'm here for you, don't ever forget that.” One part of her statement surprised me. “You know how I feel? how?” “Oh well, you see honey, before you were born, we discovered I couldn't bear foals.” I already knew this, but I assumed she would add more to this. Also it is worth noting, my mother refers to my activation as my birth. She says it is because she thinks of me as being just as real as any other pony, so I should have a birthday. “Yes mother, I remember you telling me this before.” I said, looking at her expectantly. “Yes, but what you don't know is how it affected me.” She lowered her head and spoke more softly. “I thought I was worthless, I thought I had failed your father, failed my family. I know it sounds a bit silly, but family, and it's continuation, are very important to the Carrots family. I cried for hours after the doctor told me, I didn't leave the house for days. I honestly thought my life may as well be over.” “About a week later, my parents came to visit, because they hadn't heard from me in that time and nor had anypony else. I didn't really want to see them, because that meant I had to tell them. They came into my room, where I had been lying in bed most of the week, they could immediately tell something was wrong. They asked me what was wrong, I was a nervous wreck by this point, I just broke down crying and told them. Before they could react, I realized what I had just said and panicked. I started apologizing like crazy and begging them not to hate me or disown me.” My mother then chuckled lightly. “Well, let's just say, I've never been hugged more tightly by two ponies in my life before or since. They told me they loved me, no matter what, and that they were proud of me.” “You see, at that time I had already moved away from the farm to live with your father. I knew my brothers would be better at running the farm than I would, when it came time for my parents to retire that is. So, yeah, they said they were proud of me for making my own path in life. They wouldn't leave until they were sure I understood that whether or not I had foals did not change their opinion of me at all, that they would always love me with all their hearts. I felt so relieved after that, but I still felt like a bit of a failure, and continued to for some time, but I got past it eventually. Of course your father helped a lot with that by suggesting he could make us a daughter, make you.” She then looked me right in the eyes. “So you see, I know what it's like to feel like life is hopeless, and I promise you I will always be here for you, so will your father. You will never be alone, we will help you though this.” She then gripped me a tight hug. “I know it seems hopeless now honey, but you will get through this, okay?” I had no idea my mother had felt so terrible in the past. From her description she did indeed feel much like I do now, though she probably felt worse than I do. My mother is a pony who seems very content with her life, if she can recover from such an emotional condition, then there is a chance I could too. “Okay mother.” I said quietly. “But what should I do?” “Well honey, I think you should try to get to know a few ponies at a time, on their own. Eventually you should befriend enough ponies that they will defend your character from the rest.” She suggested. “That plan is acceptable but it has a flaw mother, who do I start with?” I asked “Well, you already seem to have a friend in that mare at the diner you told me about, that's a start. Besides I think your father may be working on something to help you with that.” She said with a smile that looked mischievous. It seemed to me that mother and father were both trying hard to help me. It was clear they had hope, so I should have hope too. “Okay mother, I will try to socialize with ponies in small isolated groups. That just might work.” I gave her a small smile. I felt a little better, like a weight had been lifted from me. My mother and I just hugged each other for a few minutes. That was when my father walked into the house along with another pony. I was surprised to see that the other pony was Princess Twilight Sparkle. My mother and I got over our shock quickly, we both got off of our chairs and immediately bowed before the Princess. “No no, please don't do that, this is your house, you don't have to do that.” The Princess' tone was almost apologetic and I noticed her blush slightly. My mother and I stood back up. “Um, yes, and welcome to our house Princess.” My mother said, sounding a bit embarrassed. “Thank you Mrs. Song, oh no, you still go by Mrs. Carrots, sorry.” The Princess said with a sheepish smile. “Oh, that's quite alright Princess, you can just me Julienne.” My mother replied waving a hoof dismissively. The Princess chuckled lightly. “Okay Julienne, and you can just call me Twilight.” She said. “You all can.” She said looking to me and my father. “Oh, um, thank you Prin-er, Twilight.” My mother replied chuckling in a nervous manner. “Well, I actually came to speak to Amber if that's okay.” The princess said looking to my father and mother. “Of course P- Twilight, we'll leave you two alone, can I get you anything?” My mother said as she moved toward the kitchen bench that has our kettle on it. “Tea, coffee, or I could offer you a glass of carrot juice if you'd prefer.” “That's okay Julienne, I'm fine.” The Princess then turned her attention to me. “Amber, after that trouble you had yesterday, you seemed rather down. Who could blame you really, and I can't help but feel a little responsible for that. Anyway, I mentioned all this to my friend Pinkie Pie, and she and the rest of my friends want to throw you a 'cheer up' party. It would just be a small get together really, just me and my close friends. You've already met Applejack, and I could introduce you to the others. So, what do you think Amber?” She gave me a hopeful smile. Well this seemed to fit the parameters of my mothers idea, so I should take this opportunity. “I would love to Princess, when were you thinking of having this party?” The Princess' smile got bigger as she replied. “Oh, later today around 2 o'clock, I can introduce you to everyone, then we can play some games or just talk, then we can share a meal together and we'll probably go our separate ways in the early evening, how does that sound?” She was smiling broadly with wide eyes and sounding very excited, by the end of her description she was practically bouncing on her hooves, it was strange to see a Princess acting so, excited. I smiled at her excitement. “I think that sounds wonderful Princess.” I said. The Princess sat back and clapped her front hooves together a few times, smiling wide with her eyes closed, “Yes yes yes yes, this is going to be so much fun!” Then she jumped up and headed for the door. “Well, I'll see you around 2 o'clock at the library Amber. I'm going to go see if Pinkie needs any help getting everything ready, bye.” She left before any of us could say anything else. “Well, that was... Unusual.” My mother said. “Sure was.” Said my father. “Is that what you went out for father, to ask the Princess to throw me a party?” I asked my father “Not exactly. After yesterday when you told us the Princess had saved you, I went to ask her what her opinion was. She suggested you may need to get to know a small group of ponies first. Pinkie happened to be in the library at the time, she suggested throwing a party for just you and their friends, so they could become your friends too. I think that's how she explained it, she was talking very fast. Anyway, the idea was formed from there.” he said smiling at me. “And I'm glad you decided to go honey.” “I just finished telling mother that I would attempt to socialize with ponies in small isolated groups, which seems to be exactly what the Princess invited me to do. So, it seemed appropriate.” I told him. There was still quite some time until the party, my mother suggested I take a bath and do a little grooming to look my best for the party. I agreed, after all, I'm meeting most of them for the first time, and I am told that appearance is an important part of a first impression. After I had dried myself off, mother helped me brush my coat, mane and tail. She seemed particularly happy while doing this. I asked her about it and she told me that helping me prepare for my first party felt like a mother-daughter bonding experience. I must admit it felt very comfortable having a pony I trust brushing me. By the time we were done my coat was practically shining and my mane and tail were flowing nicely, I was certainly looking my best. My father and I left for the party slightly earlier than was usually necessary. This was because I had planned an alternate route to the library that meant we would encounter as few ponies as possible. We arrived at the library and my father knocked on the door. It seemed strange to knock on the door of a public building, however it is also the residence of a Princess, so I suppose courtesy dictates we should not just walk in. Princess Twilight Sparkle quickly answered the door. “Amber, you're here, oh and you too Dr. Song, did you come for the party as well?” “No no, I was just excorting my daughter here, you know, for safety.” My father replied. “Oh, yeah, of course.” the princess said, sounding rather sad, but she seemed to perk up again almost immediately as she added. “Well, thank you for bringing her, I know we're going to have lots of fun. You can pick her up around 9 o'clock if you wish to escort her home again.” “Yes, I think I will, see you then Princess, and thanks for doing this for Amber, it means a lot to me.” My father said as he turned to leave. The Princess chuckled lightly. “You're quite welcome, and you can call me Twilight.” She called after him. The Princess moved aside to let me enter the library. “Well come in Amber, everypony is already here and waiting to meet you.” She said with a smile. I walked in and looked around the room. There were a lot of streamers and balloons and confetti spread around the room, seemingly at random. I saw five other mares and a strange bipedal lifeform I didn't recognize mingling in the middle of the room. One of the mares I recognised as Applejack, the others I did not know. I noticed music playing quietly from a gramophone rear the back of the room. The Princess then walked up next to me. “Come on and meet the gang.” She said, gesturing toward the others with her wing. I walked next to her as we approached the others. The Princes then introduces us to each other. “Girls, I'd like you all to meet Amber Song.” She gestured to me with her wing, then pointing to the others in turn. “I believe you've already met Applejack. Owner and operator of Sweet Apple Acres.” “Howdy.” “This is Rarity.” She pointed to a very well presented white unicorn. “She runs the Carousel Boutique.” “Pleasure to meet you darling.” “This is Pinkie Pie.” She pointed to a pink earth pony. “She works at Sugarcube Corner.” “Hiya” “This is Rainbow Dash.” She pointed to a blue pegasus with a rainbow colored mane and tail. “She is a member of the Wonderbolts.” “Sup” “This is Fluttershy.” She pointed to a yellow pegasus who seemed very timid. “She takes care of the wildlife around Ponyville.” “H-hello.” Fluttershy said while trying to hide behind her own mane. “And last but not least, is Spike.” She pointed to the strange bipedal lifeform. “My number one assistant.” “Hi there.” said Spike, while waving one of his arms. “Hello everypony.” I said with a smile. Then I turned to Spike. “Excuse me, Spike, I am curious, what type of lifeform are you?” “Oh, I'm a dragon.” he replied. I was surprised by this response. “Really? From what I have read, dragons are usually quite a lot larger than you are.” “Well, I'm still just a baby dragon, Although I'm a teenager in pony years.” he says, looking down at the ground, seemingly embarrassed. “Yes, but he's still my brave little Spikey-wikey.” Rarity said as she came over to join in on the conversation. She then rubbed her hoof over the top of his head while making a strage high pitched sound. “Stop it Rarity.” Spike said while chuckling a little. “You're embarrassing me.” Rarity just chuckled and gave Spike a hug. “You know I'm only teasing darling.” They both laughed some more while spike returned her hug. “So Amber, you're a robot huh?” Rainbow Dash asked while hovering next to me. “Rainbow!” The Princess cried out. “Don't be so insensitive.” “What? I was just asking a question, geez.” Said Rainbow Dash “It is alright Princess.” I replied. “I do not mind. Yes Rainbow Dash, I am a machine, a robot if you prefer.” Suddenly Pinkie Pie appeared in front of me. “Ooooh, what's it like being a robot are you super strong? Can you shoot lasers from your eyes? Can you transform into into a car or a truck or a plane? Ooooh, do you have like mechanical wings and jet engines hidden in there somewhere? That would be so cool. What do robots eat? Do robots eat metal? Can I make you a gold cupcake, or a steel muffin? *GASP* what about a platinum pie, a platinum pie would be soooo cool- Mph.” She was cut off by Applejack shoving a hoof into her mouth. “Just ignore her sugarcube, she tends to run at the mouth sometimes.” Pinkie spat out Applejacks hoof. “Hey! I want to know what robots eat?” Pinkie inquired, glaring at Applejack for a moment, then she turns back to me smiling as happily as ever. “So, what do you eat?” “Well, my digestive system was designed to handle almost all organic matter, so I can eat anything a normal pony can eat, and many things a pony can't, or at lest shouldn't eat.” I replied “So, no platinum pie then?” Pinkie Pie asked “No metal of any kind.” I replied “Okie dokie lokie. Hey, that means you can enjoy all these delicious treats with us.” Pinkie Pie said excitedly, indicating the table of snacks and drinks set up to one side of the room which I had not noticed before now. I walked over to the table and examined the items there. There were cupcakes, fritters, tarts, a bowl of potato chips and a bowl of punch. “Yes, all of this is within my capacity to process.” “Huh?” said Pinkie Pie “She means she can eat it all.” The Princess told her. “Oh, good, have a cupcake.” Pinkie said hoofing over a capcake to me. The frosting was pink in color. I took a bite, it was a vanilla cupcake with strawberry flavored frosting. “This combination of flavors reminds me a little of strawberry milkshakes.” I said. “Oh, you like strawberry milkshakes?” asked Pinkie pie. “Yes, I have had them a few times at the diner.” I did name the diner at the time but I can not record it here because of my promise to the mare who owns it. “Oh yeah, she makes gooood milkshakes.” said Pinkie Pie. “That reminds me Amber, I did invite her to join us her today. Sadly she couldn't make it because she has to work.” The Princess informed me. “That is understandable, she has a real passion for that diner.” I said, the Princess nodded. It was then that Pinkie pie decided to put on some louder, more upbeat music. They all started to dance, I was not sure how to join in this activity, I tried watching for patterns but each of them seemed to have their own pattern. Seeing my confusion Rarity tried to teach me some simple dance steps, I performed the movements as best as I could. Rarity said I did alright but my movements were 'a bit wooden'. I found this statement rather strange, surely she realizes I am made of metal? Rarity suggested we could meet at a later date so she could teach me how to move more naturally, not just in dancing but in walking, sitting, and other everyday motions. I liked this idea, I have noticed that my actions are very sharp and precise, it would be nice to be able to move more smoothly. I have tried in the past, but without exact instruction I found copying the movements exceedingly difficult because nopony ever move the exact same way twice. Then we played pin the tail on the pony. I had trouble understanding the point of this game, but the other assured me it was fun. After watching Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash have a turn, I stepped up for a turn. I was blindfolded and spun around three times, they then gave me the tail with the pin on it. I heard a collective gasp as I walked up to the poster on the wall and pinned the tail dead on center of the target area. I took the blindfold off and confirmed I had indeed hit the mark, I turned to face everypony else. “Did I do something wrong, that was the object of the game right?” I asked, confused by their reaction. “Well, yes darling it is, but how did you get it so accurately even after we spun you around?” Rarity asked. “Well, I knew where the target was relative to myself before I was blindfolded. I simply tracked the movent of all of my legs to establish my new position after I was spun around. I then determined the position of the target based on that information. I thought that is what you all were doing? I understand you may not be able to track your movement with the same accuracy as I can, but was this not a demonstration of our capabilities?” I said trying to clear up some of the confusion. “Um, well sort of, I guess, we just do it for fun, to see who can get closest. For us it's almost like a guessing game, because as you said, we aren't that good at locating things without vision. Even if we know where they are first.” The Princess said. “I see, so the object of the game is to try to locate the target despite having insufficient data?” I asked. “Hmm, yes, I think that's a good way of putting it.” The Princess said. “Then can I suggest blindfolding me, then relocating the poster then disorienting me by rotation then face me in the approximate direction of the target. That way I will not know the precise location of the target. That way I would have to guess as much as the rest of you, in theory.” I said. “Sounds good to me.” The Princess said. “Wow, looks like Amber's another egghead.” Rainbow said with a chuckle. “Egghead? I do not understand, my head does not resemble an egg.” I said. Rainbow Dash starts laughing and rolling around on her back. “No Amber, the term egghead is slang for someone of higher than average intellect.” The Princess informed me. “Oh I see.” I replied. I walked over to Rainbow Dash, who was just calming down from her laughter. “Thank you Rainbow Dash, that is kind of you to say.” After I said this, Rainbow Dash started laughing again. “Can you believe this girl, I insult her and she takes it as a compliment.” She said while laughing. “Insult? I do not understand.” I said. The Princess walked over to me. “I'm sorry I should have explained, terms like egghead are often used in a derogatory sense, because of the common belief that intelligent ponies have limited social skills. Basically, it means smart but socially awkward.” She explained. “I see.” I replied, then I had a realization. I sat down where I was, my ears flattened and my head lowered. “Perhaps that is why nopony seems to like me, I do not know how to associate with them properly.” I said quietly. Rainbow Dash stopped laughing and everypony else went quiet. There was silience for a few seconds, then Rainbow Dash spoke up. “Aw geez, I'm sorry Amber, I didn't mean it like that, well sort of, but I didn't mean to make you sad.” She came over and sat next to me and put a wing around me. “I was just kidding around, you're not that bad really. Hey, you're actually fairly new at being with other ponies aren't you?” “Yes, I only came out of my house a sixteen days ago.” I replied. “Hey, well, nopony can expect you to be good at getting on with other ponies with so little experience. We'll all help you get better at it, and if anypony gives you a hard time again, I'll give them what for.” She said finishing her last sentence while stomping the floor once. I turned my head toward Rainbow Dash. “I am confused, you were just insulting me, now you are offering to defend me?” I asked. She flinched. “I didn't mean it to be that insulting, I was just playing around, I'm really sorry.” She said with a of regret, at least that is what it sounded like to me. “You really think I can get along with other ponies.” I asked her “Of course you can, you just need practice.” Said Rainbow Dash. “Now why don't we get back to pin the tail on the pony.” She gave me a small smile, I gave a small smile in return. “Okay Rainbow Dash.” I agreed. Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Just call me Dash, it's easier.” She said. After blindfolding me and moving the poster so I did not know its exact location, I was spun around three times. I approached to poster, I could feel the presence of the wall as I approached it. I pinned the tail onto the poster and took off the blindfold to see how I did. Many of the other ponies broke into laughter at the sight. I had pinned the tail right on the pony's nose, it literally looked as if it had a tail growing out of its nostrils. My ears flattened and I lowered my head and turned to slowly walk away. “Hey, hey, it's okay Amber.” Said Applejack as she came over to me and put a foreleg over my shoulders. “We ain't laughin' at ya sugarcube, we just think it looks kinda funny, it's all in good fun.” I looked at the poster again, even though my understanding of humor is limited, I had to admit it looked rather comical. “It does kinda look funny.” I said smiling a little. “I thought she did very well, you know, for a first try.” Said a small voice behind me, I turned to see it was Fluttershy. When she saw me looking at her she made a sharp high pitched sound, that sounded like “eep” and hid behind her mane again. I gave her a small, encouraging smile. “Thank you Fluttershy.” I said to her softly. Her head did not move but her eyes looked up at me and she smiled slightly. After this the group decided it was time to have a proper meal. We each had a slice of a large apple pie along with some hayfries, then we had icecream for dessert. Spike was even kind enough to make me a strawberry milkshake. The whole meal was delicious, I made sure to thank all those who helped make it. After we were done eating, we played a few card games and board games. I found the evening to be relaxing and enjoyable. My father came to get me at 9 o'clock, as arranged. Before I left Rarity was sure to organise a time to meet so she could teach me about natural movement. Rarity was eager to start so we arranged for tomorrow at 10 am. I think I made a good impression on the Princess' friends. I enjoyed my time with them and they seem comfortable with me, except perhaps for Fluttershy, but I got the impression that she takes time to bond with new ponies in general, so only time will tell with her. I am looking forward to my lessons with Rarity tomorrow, I hope I can perform to her expectations. More importantly, this evening I feel much better about myself, I feel hopeful that one day I can earn a place in this community. I know I have a long way to go, but it now seems possible, where yesterday it did not.