A Ballad of Eeyup and Nope

by ambion


Cheer Up, Big Mac

Ponies went about their business through the streets of Ponyville or simply milled about, content to enjoy company and sunshine. Big Macintosh’s own spirits were lifted, for he felt he was beginning to get some traction on this strangest of days. Eeyup, he had to hit the ground running full pelt when the challenge had started, but between Cutie Mark Crusaders, mares who should know better and other mares whom he suspected actually did, he was holding his own. It wasn’t his nature to skirt around a problem for long, and with the resolve to confront Rainbow Dash came a certain confidence, a certain self-assuredness that he was, so to speak, gettin’ ‘er done.

If only he could find the silly pegasus. How could a pony so thirsty for the limelight disappear so consistently at a whim? Didn’t she have a job? To the work-horse, the implications were bewildering. Hay, even now he had half a mind himself to get back to his fields and work them, not that he could in fair-play, Nope. It had sort of been a stipulation after all, Eeyup, part of the bet was to be out and about, be seen and mingle. To talk and, if he didn’t mind himself vigilantly, slip up. Eeyup, that was the feat. Nope, wasn’t gonna happen.

Birds of red and yellows sang from rafters and branches, but the blue birdbrain he sought was yet to reveal herself. If she were still looking for him, it probably wasn’t in Ponyville centre.

The big stallion rested in the shade of a bustling veranda. A street vendor hawked his wares, but despite the numbers around his stall there was an air of calm about the street. Ponies regaled one another with gossip, gasps and laughter without rush or worry. Ponies that did buy did so quickly and distractedly, not wanting to miss a beat of whatever anecdote their friends recounted before hurriedly moving on.

“Macintosh Apple? It’s not often I see you out and about.” Big Mac blinked and shuffled about. It was easy to forget that while he watched the crowds go by, other ponies could watch right back.

“Miss Cheerilee? I didn’t see you there.”

The teacher shook her head with mock disparagement, smirking all the while. Near-empty saddlebags were slung over her back.  “Still with the ‘miss’. Only my students call me miss, and I think you’re just a little bit big to be one of them." She nudged his flank with her hip to no effect whatsoever, save the smile that sprung on her face. "I’d have noticed by now if you were. You looked so very thoughtful, though. Something on your mind?”

The stallion was acutely aware of the straw of grass he didn’t have in his mouth. Had he one, he’d have rolled it across his teeth and back again with thought. As it was, he simply had to do without. “Could say that.”

“Oh, mysterious,” she said with that same smirk again. “You’ve made me curious now, Big Mac. I was just coming out to pick up a few things. How about you walk with me, or...?”

Sure, he’d been looking for Rainbow Dash, but he supposed he’d have found her by now were it possible to find her at all. She could be off anywhere or atop a cloud for all he knew. Even so, with ‘confront Rainbow Dash’ thoroughly scored into his mental to-do list, he felt confident enough to let it sit for a while longer. He wasn’t going anywhere...and neither was that blast crater in the back fields. “Alright then, miss Cheerilee. Let me hold that for you.”

The bags barely straddled his broad back and weighed next to nothing on him, but it felt good for him to be doing something resembling a chore, and she knew it. He wasn’t surprised with how little she bought, but it still was odd to him to see. Whereas the Apples tended for bulk deals and had a full house to feed, Cheerilee really only stocked up for the immediate short term. Teacher she might be, but cook she was not. On the one or two occasions he had met up with her he had very politely avoided calling any attention to that self-evident fact, something she’d had no compunctions about doing herself, to the point that he’d actually got embarrassed on her behalf about her quick and easy meals. That, of course, had only made her enjoy herself all the more-so.

She lead him along, first to a fruit vendor’s, then to one for vegetables. She was quick about it, no hemming and hawing at all. Pretty soon though he was telling her all the particulars of the bet as they walked; he liked Cheerilee, he felt comfortable around her and she understood him. After the fiasco with the love poison, the two had decided it best to talk, not as dopey, loopy ponies but as reasonable, rational adults to clear any air between them of confusion. One talk had turned to two, and from such unconventional beginnings a pleasant friendship had sprung up. She had a couple years on him he knew, but he’d never actually pressed for her for a specific number. Honestly, it didn’t matter.

If only Granny would stop giving him ‘clues’ and winks. It wasn’t like that between them.

“Ever the gentle-colt,” Cheerilee said as he gave her bags back to her. On her they seemed twice as large as they’d been a moment ago. Slyly she added, “You know, I think I saw Rainbow Dash heading out towards your orchards, just before I met you. It’s where I’d look for you too.” She held his gaze in an easy smile. “It’s good to see you again, Big Macintosh, and good to see you getting out. Maybe I should make a bet with you sometime too, what do you think? Thanks again,” she said as she turned to leave, “Best of luck with your bet!” she called over her shoulder.

The crowd gave him no trouble as he set his hoof to home. Big Mac was always very mindful of his step, though for the ponies of Ponyville it might have been more his ability to pull up trees like gardeners would weeds that made sure that the crowd flowed around him, because it certainly couldn’t flow through him. A few acquaintances of his hailed him with greetings, which he met in kind as he moved along.

“Hiya Big Mac,” Pinkie called, momentarily bouncing up into view. She’d ditched the catmare spysuit, but she’d replaced the look with blackened sunglasses. A few spatters of grease were on her hooves, and there was at least one uncoiled spring tangled in her mane. “Still in the game?—don’t answer that question!” she suddenly gasped, landing from a heroic bounce that carried her up and onto the stallion’s back. She pushed her front hooves into his cheeks, stunning his brain and stopping his mouth. “We happy?” she asked, the blacks lenses of her scrutiny showing Big Mac his own bewildered expression. After a moment’s checking, she smiled. “We happy,” she said simply, and let him go. She didn’t actually get off his back, but it was a start.

“I thought you weren’t taking a side in this?”

The mare laughed with awkward nervousenss. “Weeeell...” She huffed a steadying breath, somehow losing none of its seriousness despite her being balanced with easy poise atop his back. “I can’t lie to you, Big Mac. The answer is yes and/or a definitely possible maybe. Or not.” She shrugged apologetically.

Big Mac sighed. He had no way of knowing it, but this was the very same sigh that most ponies develop with exposure to Pinkie. “And that’s the best answer I can hope to get from you right now?”

“Eeyup!” she said heartily. Big Mac’s legs trembled at the word, his whole body wobbled. Pinkie Pie landed next to him with a leap and playfully punched his shoulder. He fell to his knees. “Keep strong, Big Mac! You can make. I’m sure of it!”

She bounced away and was gone once more.

Big Mac stood himself back up, shaking the tension from his hooves. At least Pinkie wasn’t trying to sabotage him...he thought. He wasn’t entirely sure, or more accurately to say: he was entirely unsure. He hadn’t failed yet though, that much was for certain.

If Rainbow Dash really was at the farm he could face her, grab a snack and see how confident Applejack still was about her side of the bet, all three at once. His hoof fell on the familiar soils of home, all in all he felt pretty darn good right then and there, warm under the noontide sun. Winona even ran up to greet him, barking excitedly.

He realized, Eeyup she was excited, but it was with upset, not cheer. Something was going down on the farm. No wonder he was getting that sinking feeling. Shaking his head, he let the collie lead him on to whatever woes lay ahead, sincerely hoping that Rarity was having a better time of it with Twilight.