//------------------------------//
// Thank you very much for tuning in, everybody (I'M OUTTA HERE) 
// Story: MLP: TCR 
// by Omlliw 
//------------------------------//

Oddly, the object didn't knock Ghost out. He was still fully conscious, and fully angry. He whirled around to see what the object was. A small stone, slightly bigger than a pebble. He looked towards the door and shouted "WHAT THE CRAP WAS THAT FOR?" at the exact same time, and couldn't believe his eyes.
Standing there was Rarity. She had thrown a rock at him. The poshest, most regal, most dignified pony he'd met just threw a rock at him. If she wanted to throw rocks at someone, she would be better throwing them at someone who WASN'T angry pretty much 24/7. He demanded an explanation.
"You? What the-why the fuck did you throw this shit at me?" He grabbed the projectile in his right hand, and Rarity flinched slightly.
"Hm, let's see..." She paused a moment to think. Gee, she was acting suspiciously. "You're a fat...hambone, was it? And you smell of old cider." Ghost felt a vein pop in his neck.
"Wh-WHAT!?"
"You heard me. Or do I need Pinkie Pie to say it again?" At this moment, as soon as Rarity said her name, the ever-hyperactive pink pony burst from the shadows behind Rarity and leapt forwards.
"You're a big, jelly hambone, Ghostler! And not one of those tasty jellies either," Pinkie blabbered, Ghost turning purple. "I'm talking about one of those sour jellies with floating fruit in the middle. Ugh, floating sour fruit is the worst!" Ghost clenched his fists, his arms searching behind him for a can or something to use to hit the taunting ponies. However, whilst scrabbling around, he accidentally managed to start the show up again, and simultaneously play "World In My Eyes" by Depeche Mode, so everybody who was still listening to the show could hear it.
At this point, Rainbow Dash crashed through the roof, a brief expression of pain on her her face. With a resigned voice, she took a deep breath and said "Chante, chante! Chante chante chante!" over and over again to the beat of the song. Suddenly, as Ghost was about to react, Twilight popped through the door and flared up her horn. Ghost felt he no longer had control of his body; his hands were being magically pulled this way and that so that he was actually not on the ground, but made to look like he was dancing. Fluttershy looked down through the hole in the ceiling and took one look at the dancing Capitalist.
"My, Ghost, you're really fruiting up!" she squeaked in that adorable little voice of hers. Ghost was now crimson/scarlet, and was about to blow a fuse.
Then Twilight fell over and started laughing, and all hell broke loose.
When Twilight hit the ground, she was temporarily distracted, giving Ghost the use of his body back. Of course, the first thing he did was to turn around, slapping Rainbow Dash in the face, who was halfway through a "chante". The cyan-coloured pegasus fell to the ground. Twilight stopped laughing.
Next in his rampage was Fluttershy. He whizzed around a full 360 degrees, picking up a can and throwing it at the timid mare. She hurriedly flew away. The can fell back down in front of Ghost's face, and he caught it in his hand. He hurled it at Twilight, who was self-righting, and the can managed, by sheer luck, to land on the end of Twilight's horn. She tried, and she tried, but no magic could be cast past the end of the can-it was almost as if the strange, new material that Twilight had found was a magic eliminator of some sorts.
Suddenly, Ghost took a blow to the back of his head, and fell onto his front. He turned himself onto his back, grunting heavily, as Rainbow Dash hit him in his face while standing on top of him. Ghost grabbed Rainbow's neck with his left hand, and with his right, threw her off of him. She landed on the floor with a groan. Standing up, the Capitalist grabbed Rainbow's body and threw her out of the hole in the ceiling.
In a final fit of rage, Ghost grabbed the nearest projectile he could find-the microphone, that had been lying at his feet since Rainbow burst through the roof-to launch at a gawking Pinkie Pie and Rarity.
"I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL, YOU USELESS SACKS OF CRAAAAA-" Ghost bellowed. Slightly averting his gaze, he could see a crying Applejack in the distance. At least, he thought she was crying. He couldn't really tell. "AAAAApplejack?" He released his grip on the mike. Pinkie flinched, but Rarity just sat there, frozen in fear and astonishment.
Suddenly the microphone burst to life with 1000 volts of electricity. Time in the studio seemed to slow down, and the space around the mike warped slightly. Ghost cocked his head in confusion, but it didn't last long, because half a second later, the entire building disappeared into thin air.
Applejack smiled.
"Ah knew it would work."

***

When Ghost came to, he quickly realised he wasn't in his studio. But he'd read somewhere that if you were in an unknown environment, you should always check your senses for clues.
Sight: Ghost could barely see his own hand in front of his face. Not much help there.
Hearing: He couldn't hear anything. He thought he could hear monkey noises, but that was probably his over-active brain.
Taste: The capitalist stuck out his tongue and waggled it around. Not much to be learned there.
Smell: Apart from himself, he couldn't smell anything but a light cedar smell.
Touch: He tried reaching his arms out as far as they could go, but they could only extend up to the elbow, and only for one arm. The walls felt like they were made of wood. Running his hands over whatever parts of his body he could, he felt that his existing injuries, such as Rainbow Dash's combo back in Ponyville, had all healed up.
From these facts, Ghost drew up one logical conclusion: If Equestria is under Earth, there must be nothing under Equestria.
Ghost had reached the end of the universe.
Two minutes later, Ghost ran out of ideas, and tried to reposition himself in the wooden box, which may or may not be the end of the universe. He noticed a small hole which was over his head when he was checking his senses. He could only fit his hand up to the wrist through it. Pretty soon, Ghost decided to hum something. As he was humming the "Junkyard America" theme song, he tapped his feet in time without realising he was doing it.
Suddenly Ghost felt as if he was falling. Rather quickly, in fact. It was only for a couple of seconds, but once he landed, he was ejected forcefully from the structure with an eyeful of extremely bright light.
"What's going on?"
"Ooh, who are you?"
"AAARGH!"
"Woah, a new human!"
Ghost's eyes slowly readjusted to the light. "Argh, what the hell's goin' on here? I-Oh, Jesus Christ." Ghost's sight sense now told him that he was in a pet shop of sorts. Around him were several multi-coloured animals of various sorts: Everything from pandas to skunks to dogs were there.
"Okay, everyone, back away from the visitor, we don't know how-" An orange hedgehog started. Ghost screamed in response. Several of the animals screamed back, and some ran away. His sense of hearing hadn't failed him.
"WHAT THE HELL!? You can TALK!?" Ghost asked.
"Wait, you can understand us too?" it replied.
"What do you mean, 'too'? Who else can talk to animals? Eliza from the Wild freakin' Thornberries?" Ghost scoffed.
"We'll get to that later, Mister..?"
Ghost gagged. "Conquest. John Conquest. What am I doing...wherever 'here' is?" Suddenly a TV screen in the corner of the room flashed to life. A young girl in her teens with an alarmingly big head appeared on-screen. Several animals ran over to it.
"Is this thing working?" it asked.
"Hi Blythe!" cheered a green lizard.
"Hey Vinnie!" Blythe smiled back. Ghost's right eye twitched. That girl had a very familiar voice...it almost sounded like...but it couldn't possibly...Rainbow Dash? Ghost hurriedly shifted his attention back to the hedgehog.
"So, who are you, and where am I?"
"I'm sorry, how rude of me. My name is Russell Ferguson. Welcome to Littlest Pet Shop!" Ghost's eye twitched again.
"Could you excuse me for a moment?" Ghost requested. Russell nodded his head as the capitalist silently walked out of the day-camp area. An elderly woman started speaking to Ghost on the way out, but Ghost was too pent-up to notice what she was saying. He left the shop, dropped to his knees, raised his head and his clenched fists and simply said...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


You've been listening to True Capitalist Radio. The thoughts, views, ideas, comments and opinions of the host of this show are...absolutely his.
Catch more live episodes Monday through Friday from 3:330 to 6:30 central, or check out archive shows at blogtalkradio.com.
TRUE CAPITALIST RADIO.
"That's it!"