Chapter 52: Follow the Drinking Gourd
Princess Celestia had prepared a magnificent sunset for that evening. The horizon was tinted in shades of yellow, red, and orange, with hints of purple hued clouds cascading across the skyscape. It was a sight to behold, but for Smithy and Crab Apple, the details just blended into their awkward silence. They sat on opposite sides of the porch swing as they watched the sun setting on Sweet Apple Acres. They’d barely said a word to each other since they’d gotten home.
Crab Apple took a deep relaxing breath as he stretched his arms above his head, letting his neck and shoulders pop. “Boy, dis place sure is empty,” he said, trying to make small talk as he lit a fresh cigar.
Smithy continued to look out at the empty orchards as she replied with only an ‘eeyup.’
Crab Apple looked over at her, noticing the distant look in her eyes. “I guess you can fill it up when your mom and boy come back,” he said, getting another ‘eeyup’ out of Smithy. He leaned his head against his hoof as he looked back out at the orchards. “Lucky you,” he said as he took a long inhale on his cigar. “Guess you got your life all sorted out then. You got your family, farm, kid, all like dat.” He waited to hear another minimal response of out Smithy, only to be surprised by her sudden silence.
They sat quietly for a while before Smithy finally took a turn to speak. “What are ya gonna do with yerself now that it’s over?” she asked, watching as the first stars dotted the sky.
Crab Apple shrugged his shoulders at the question. “Oh, I dunno,” he replied. “Hadn’t thought dat far ahead. Maybe I’ll go do dat political gig da princess told me about, or maybe not. Maybe I’ll be a troubadour like your brudder, or maybe not. Hey, maybe I’ll be a boyd exterminator. Wouldn’t dat be somethin’! I hate them things, remember?”
Crab Apple was glad to see Smithy smirk at his bird joke. He cautiously slid down the porch swing so that he could be closer to her. “Hey, you know, I was thinkin’, right?” he said, his tone softening slightly. “You and me, right? We make a good team. So… maybe we could… I dunno… maybe… get inta politics or somethin’? I dunno…”
He gestured back and forth between the two of them as if he had more to say, but nothing else was coming out. There was an even more awkward silence between the two ponies. Crab Apple eventually slid back to his end of the porch swing. “Yeah. Fogetta ‘bout it,” he said as he stuffed his cigar back in his mouth. “I know, stupid idea, right? What was I thinkin’. Politics! Geeze!”
Smithy hopped off the porch swing, which stopped Crab Apple from rambling further. “Look, I gotta take a walk,” she said, trying to keep a steady tone in her voice. “Mind holdin’ down the fort fer a while?”
Crab Apple tried to smile for her sake since he could she that she had a lot on her mind. “Sure. Take your time,” he said kindly, having a feeling that he knew where she was going to go.
Smithy walked with her head held low for miles before she reached the tree where Bladire was laid to rest. She collapsed at his memorial stick and cried her eyes out. “Oh Bladire!” she sobbed. “I’m all mixed up!”
She buried her face in the grass, letting her tears soak into the ground. She held desperately onto the ground with her hooves, ripping out clumps of grass in a vain attempt to feel held by her long dead lover.
She started to calm down some as she listened to the nearby creek, letting the sound of the running water sooth her nerves. “Well, we finally did it,” she said with a stuffy nose. “Kizzy’s finally free, just like we always wanted. She went back to Zebrica with Lizza and her new beau. She fell fer Crab Apple’s buddy, Salty Ron. He’s a zebra just like y’all.”
She wiped her nose on the back of her hoof, not even caring how gross it was. “I feel kinda selfish cryin’ fer mahself right now,” she admitted. “I ain’t the only one who lost somepony special to ‘em today. Crab Apple done lost his best friend. Him and Salty Ron were thick as thieves too. I wish folks here in Equestria were like that with zebras, but I think it’s gonna take a mighty long time before that happens.”
She reached out and touched the barky texture of Bladire’s memorial stick, thinking back to the years when she could touch him. “I miss ya so much,” she said sadly. “Ain’t a day goes by I don’t think ‘bout ya. I ain’t ever stopped lovin’ ya either, and that’s why I’m so mixed up. It’s that Crab Apple, ya see? He’s so wonderful sometimes I just can’t help mahself. But mah boy hates him, and I’m sure mama’s gonna have words 'bout him. He did kill mah husband, but I didn’t love Stinkin’ Rich in the first place so doesn't that count fer anythin’?”
All that stared back at her was a stick, which only made Smithy feel more alone. “I don’t even know if Crab Apple loves me back,” she sighed. “He keeps callin’ me his friend, or buddy, or partner. He sure is loyal, but I don’t know if it’s cause he loves me or of it it’s just fer some kinda benefit. I just don’t know what to think anymore. Here I fought fer what I believed in, fer everythin’ I ever loved, and I’m losin’ everythin’ I ever cared fer all at the same time. What should I do?”
Smithy began to hiccup from all her crying. “Oh, fingle fangle!” she cursed as she went to the creek to take a drink. She gulped down water and washed the tears out of her face and arms. It felt refreshing to clean away her emotional break down from the outside of her body, but she wished she could wash away the confusion she felt on the inside. Thankfully, the cool water was just the cure her hiccups needed.
Smithy shot strait up at the sound of a twig snapping in the distance. The Everfree Forest was known for its dangers after dark, and she wasn’t sure what to expect. She didn’t smell sulfur, so she knew it wasn’t timberwolves. If it was a manticore, she knew she couldn’t take it out on her own. Playing it safe, she dove into a bush to wait out what she feared was approaching.
To her surprise she saw Crab Apple stumbling forward with a sloppy bouquet of flowers in his teeth. She thought to jump out of the bushes to run to him, but for some reason she thought it best to sit back and watch him to see what he was doing.
Crab Apple looked around the tree with the flowers still in his mouth. She could see his goofy smile fade before he threw down the bouquet at Bladire’s memorial stick. “Dang it, I woulda swore she’d be here,” he cursed out loud to himself.
He sat down to look around again before looking down at the memorial stick. “Here, for you,” he said sarcastically as he slid the flowers toward the memorial stick. “I guess you can give ‘em ta Smiddy next time you see her. Or you can have ‘em, Bladder… Batter… Bladiator… whatever your name is.”
He sighed as he turned to face the memorial stick. “Look, I’m sorry pal,” he said respectfully. “I just gotta lot on my mind. I was hopin’ I’d find Smiddy here, you know? Instead, just you. You don’t mind if we have a talk, do you? I got nopony else ta talk ta right now.”
He lay down on the ground and rested his head on one hoof as he pawed at the ground where Bladire lay to rest with his other hoof. “Thanks. pal. You’re a good guy,” he said to the ground. “She’s a good gal, your Smiddy. I ain’t met nopony like her. Well, maybe your sister. Now dat was a woman! Ah, no disrespect there, pal.”
Crab Apple held his hoof up to show no animosity, a gesture he almost felt silly doing. He sighed as he put his hooves back on the ground. “Look, I love her, alright?” he said, having a hard time keeping his emotions in check. “I mean, I love your sister, and I ain’t stopped doin’ dat. Kizzy was a heck of a gal, lemme tell you! But Smiddy... every time I’m around her, I feel like I found a part of me dat fits. Like we belong togetha is what I’m tryin’ ta say.”
He wiped the sweat from his face with the back of his hoof. “We just gotta few problems is all,” he continued. “It’s dis whole agreement we made. I dunno if she told you dis, but I killed her husband. She came ta me ta whack him. Dat’s how we met. Crazy story, am I right?”
He snorted a half laugh as he thought about it. “Dat kid a hers,” he said as he put his hoof on his forehead. “He hates me. I don’t blame him. I killed his dad right in front a him, even threatened him for show. It’s not like I can go up ta him and be all ‘hey I’m your new dad’ or somethin’. I mean, I kept him and his grandma away from Smiddy for five years! They ain’t gonna be all excited ta welcome me inta da family.”
By now, Crab Apple was openly crying at Bladire’s grave. “I feel so mixed up,” he cried. “I want what’s best for her, but I feel like I’d be lost without her. I don’t know what ta do anymore. I don’t even know if she loves me anyway! How could she? I mean come on, I’m a gangster just like her husband was! I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”
Crab Apple ran a handkerchief over his face to try to clean up his emotional mess. He stared desperately at the memorial stick for guidance, getting nothing but stoic silence as a response. “Like you got all da answers!” he hollered in frustration. “Why am I talkin’ ta a stick in da middle a da woods anyway! Geeze, I’m goin’ crazy over here!”
Smithy slowly emerged from her hiding place, her own eyes streaming with tears. “Yer not crazy,” she cried.
Crab Apple jumped at the sound, only to stare wide eyed at the pony who he’d unintentionally professed his love to. “You sneaky timberwolf,” he teased as he got up to stand by her. “You heard da whole thing, didn’t you?”
Smithy smiled as she hugged him. “Funny ya should mention,” she replied. “I just got done doin’ the same thing y’all did before I got all scared and hid in the bushes. Fer a second I thought ya was a manticore.”
Crab Apple brushed a tear away from Smithy’s cheek as he smiled down at her. “No kiddin’,” he said tenderly. “You’re a mess. How’d you get mud and stuff in your hair? What’s in dat bush? A giant mudpie?”
They laughed together as they pulled leaves and twigs out of Smithy’s mane. Crab Apple even joined Smithy in a fun filled splash in the creek to clean off the mud.
They eventually rested on the creek shore, laying side by side and holding hooves. Crab Apple breathed a contented sigh of relief, glad to know his feelings could finally come out. “So whadda you think?” Crab Apple asked as they both looked up at the star filled sky. “Think we can work it out with your family, or are we just kiddin’ ourselves?”
Smithy rested an arm behind her head as she thought about it. “I dunno,” she sighed as she found the Big Dipper. “I just wish I had a sign that said everthin’s gonna be okay.”
Crab Apple caught sight of a shooting star streaking across the night sky, watching as it crossed over the constellation of the Big Dipper before burning out. “Would you look at dat!” he said as he saw another one follow the same trajectory path. “Think it’s them tryin’ ta tell us somethin’? Kizzy I mean, and Blobbier… Blower… Blah blah blah. You know, her brudder.”
Smithy got up to stand next to him as they watched more shooting stars streak through the sky. “Ya ain’t ever gonna get his name right, are ya?” she teased.
As she leaned her head on Crab Apple’s shoulder, she could hear him softly singing. “When da sun comes back and da first quail calls, follow da drinkin’ gourd,” he sang.
Smithy joined in on the old slave song as they stood to watch the shooting stars. “Fer the old man is awaitin’ fer to carry ya to freedom if ya follow the drinkin’ gourd.”
They turned to each other as they continued to sing:
Follow the drinking gourd
Follow the drinking gourd
For the old man is awaiting
For to carry you to freedom
If you follow the drinking gourd.
And they ended their song with their first kiss.