CHAPTER 20
(Third Person)
Scootaloo sat in Sugarcube Corner. She was waiting for Sweetie Belle, who'd sent word that she was coming back to town soon. Scootaloo nervously ate her cupcake, unsure of how to tell Sweetie about everything that's been going on. Kyle's return, and her new relationship. She didn't know what her friend's thoughts were on fillyfoolers, and she was afraid to find out.
"Oh man... I gotta stop freaking out, it'll be fine..."
Then, the bell above the door jingled. Scootaloo looked to see who it was, and smiled when she saw it was none other that Sweetie Belle. Sweetie sat down with Scootaloo, and smiled half-heartedly, and Scootaloo immediately noticed that something was wrong.
"You OK, Sweetie Belle? What's bugging you?"
"I... I saw Kyle a few hours ago..." Sweetie teared up, and Scootaloo cocked an eyebrow.
"That's... A good thing though. He's back! Why're you crying?"
"He told me to leave him alone... He acted like he didn't even care that he got to see me again. What's wrong with him?" Scootaloo was shocked. She put a hoof on her chin, and tried to think.
"Dad would never do that... Would he? He loves everypony! What the hay happened?" Scootaloo knew something was VERY wrong, and she knew that she had to do something about it.
"Sweetie Belle, lets go get Apple Bloom. We're going to find my dad."
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(First Person)
"Why am I crying? I don't need them. I can live by myself, like I always used to want to. I don't need friends, I have myself." I felt memories try to resurface, but some force in my head shoved them back down.
I was still in Canterlot, and I hadn't been discovered, which made me... Even angrier, for some reason. Nothing could make me happy, and every time I thought about Sweetie Belle, I felt a pain in my heart. I knew this feeling well.
Guilt.
The feeling you get when you've done something you know you shouldn't have done. I knew that what I did to Sweetie Belle was wrong, and it was eating me alive. But something deep inside me kept covering up that pain with rage.
"I don't want to feel this angry... It's not right."
"Oh, but it is, Kyle. The anger is like fuel. Without it, how would you keep going? It may not seem that way to you, but it is a mighty and powerful thing. Hold onto it, and never let it go."
"... I guess you're right... What are you, anyways?" For some reason, I couldn't trust this voice in my head.
"I am your subconscious." I nodded in understanding. It made sense to me. I smiled a bit, but it wasn't a regular smile: It was a twisted, corrupt smile. A smile laced with anger and hate. I felt some sick gratefulness that my ex-friends hadn't found me. I was disgusted of myself, but felt pleased with my evasion at the same time. I was so busy trying to quell the confliction, that I didn't notice Twilight rounding the corner.
"KYLE!"
"Ah, fuck..." I sighed, and all of my "friends" surrounded me, and bombarded me with questions. I couldn't even understand any of them. Twilight raised her hoof to silence them.
"Listen, Kyle. We know what's wrong. You need to come back to Ponyville with us!" Her eyes were quivering, and tears were welling up in them. Sean grabbed me by both of the shoulders and shook me slightly as he spoke.
"You need to snap out of it, man! Look at what you're doing to everypony!" He gestured to the girls, who were all either crying, or were about to. Rainbow Dash just stared at me sullenly, unsure of what to do. "We all care about you. We don't hate you, and you don't hate us. You're just confused. We just want to help you! You may think we don't understand what you're going through, but we've all lost our Elements at one point or another. We can get you back to your old self: You just need to come with us." He gave me a little smile, and I felt my anger starting to flow through me.
"You think this is just about me losing my element? Do you have any idea what's going on in my head? I feel so guilty... All of the things I've done in my life... I've caused so much pain... So much misery... I can't stand myself. Every time I look in the mirror, I feel like I'm staring at some lowlife, not myself. Sean, you should know. I told you about Rose..." His eyes widened a bit. "I never got to say I was sorry. I never got to say goodbye. I'm not the great person that you guys think I am. I'm just some crazy bastard who just happens to do some good shit every once in a while. All those things I did to Hoops and his friends... I know he's an asshole, but he didn't deserve any of that. And worst of all: When I left you guys. I caused you so much pain... Five years. Five long, insufferable years you spent, trying to find a way to bring me back, and then I just pop up out of nowhere, and expect things to go back to normal. I'm just a sick fuck who got lucky. I don't belong here. I don't even deserve to be here. I'm sorry for everything I've caused to happen. If it weren't for me, you would all just have normal lives. I should have just found a way back to Earth, and acted like none of this ever happened... I'm sorry." I looked at myself in a shop window. My colors had faded even more, and I was completely gray all over, not just tinted. Everyone was staring at me, and they were all crying. I knew it was my fault they were so upset. Rainbow Dash walked up to me, and looked up at me, staring me straight in the eyes.
"You listen to me, Kyle. You haven't caused us any pain. I know all this mushy stuff sounds weird, coming from me, but we all love you. We love you more than you can imagine. Sure, you've done some bad things, but who hasn't? You've done a load of good things too. You've brought us much more happiness than you have sadness. Even if things get a bit dramatic, you can't just blame yourself for everything. You're a good person, and we all see that. When we look at you, we don't see just another lowlife: We see a kind, wonderful, and caring person. You've done so much in your time here. You've brought me something that I never thought I would have. A family. I thought I just wanted to join The Wonderbolts, and I would've been happy forever, but I was wrong. I'm happier with you and Scoots than I ever could have been in some team. And you make all of Equestria happy with your music. We hate to see you like this... You being like this has made us more upset than anything else... I don't have anything else to say." She gave me a slow kiss on the cheek, and backed off. I stood there, tears running down my face. I didn't know what to say. I looked over all of my friends.
"What am I doing? I can't just keep beating myself up like this..." Then, the voice came back.
"They're lying! You're better than them, and you can prove it-" He was cut off. I stood there, confused for a second, until Sean put his hand on my shoulder again, and gave me a thumbs up.
"... I'm sorry. I can't believe I did all of this... I just... I don't know what to do..." Sean tightened his grip a bit.
"Just move past this. You can't dwell on the past, Kyle. That's the single worst thing you could do. I've done things I regret, and I've lost a lot of things I care about." He paused for a moment, and took a deep breath. "But you can't let that consume you. You have to move on, and just keep on living." He smiled again, and then he looked surprised. He looked down the street, and his smile widened. "Well, look who it is."
"DAD!" Scoots landed next to me, and I ruffled her hair, a sad smile on my face.
"What's goin' on with Ya', Kyle? Ya' messed up in th' head 'r somethin'?"
"Hey there, kiddo. Hi Apple Bloom... Sweetie Belle." Sweetie almost cried when she saw me.
"Why were you so mean to me? I thought you would be happy to see me again..." I kneeled down, and yanked her into a hug. My crying became audible.
"I... I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I was just confused, Sweetie. I'd never do that to you. I'm so happy to see you again. I've missed you. I hope you can forgive me..." She hugged me back, and I could tell she was crying.
"I-I f-forgive you..." I tightened my grasp on her, and started crying even louder, but it wasn't a sad cry anymore. It was a happy cry. I felt wonderful knowing that all of my closest and dearest friends and family were willing to forgive me. I just sat there, hugging Sweetie, rocking back and forth on the ground.
(Stop the music)
After a few minutes, I let go, and I stood up, wiping my face off on my jacket sleeve. When I looked at everyone, they had huge smiles on their faces.
"What?"
Pinkie bounced up and down around me. "Look at your clothes! They're all pretty and colorful again!" I looked at the sleeve I'd wiped my face on, and sure enough, it was dark brown, not gray. I noticed that all of my anger had dissipated, and all I felt was happiness.
"Everyone... I think I'm ready to go home." I smiled, and they all nodded. We all started the long walk back to Ponyville together.
As friends.