//------------------------------// // It won't always be this way // Story: Crisis of Infinite Offspring // by dramatic_spoon //------------------------------// Several days later Big Macintosh knocked on the door to Lyra’s house. The door swung in, as Bon Bon looked out. “Oh, Hello Big Mac. Looking for Lyra?” “Eyup.” “Is this for pleasure or about…” Bon Bon shrugged “The other thing.” “The other thing.” Big Macintosh sighed. “Come on in.” Bon Bon trotted in. Big Macintosh followed her into the kitchen. “So… sixteen kids now, right?” Bon Bon set to work making coffee. “Eyup.” Big Macintosh nodded. “And you got them from Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Carrot Top, Ditzy, Cheerilee, Spitfire, Trixie, Princess Luna, Sweetie Belle, Discord, Cloudchaser, a male version of Princess Luna and Mrs. Cake, right?” “Eyup.” “And no new ones have popped up in the last few days, right?” “Eyup.” “So…” Bon Bon set his cup of coffee down, “You think it’s over?” “Possibly.” Big Macintosh took a sip of his coffee. “I hope so.” Lyra trotted into the room and took a seat next to Big Macintosh, “Sixteen is plenty to take care of. Speaking of that, where are they?” “At home, helpin’ Applejack on th’ farm. Sparkling Cider an’ Apple Cinnamon are keepin’ an eye on them.” Big Macintosh took another sip of coffee, “I told’m it’s their punishment for runnin’ away.” “Alright then, so what’s your plan now?” Lyra sipped her own coffee. “Check on Twilight, see if she’s figured anything out.” “Mac, nopony’s heard anything from her since that day.” Lyra frowned, “She won’t even let Spike back in.” “…So where is he?” “Rarity’s.” Lyra took another sip of coffee, “Sooner or later he’ll figure out she’s just not that into him.” “I think it’s cute.” Bon Bon chuckled, “Reminds me of how I was when I was little.” “Speaking of Rarity… did you tell Sweetie Belle?” Lyra frowned. “Enope.” Big Macintosh took a sip of coffee, “I already promised Rarity I wouldn’t.” “Good. Last thing we need is them to be running around screaming ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders underaged mothers’ or something.” Lyra frowned. “I don’t think anypony’s going to like that.” Bon Bon nodded. “Eyup.” The three ponies continued to drink their coffee in silence. “Why isn’t there a filly from Macintosh and me?” Bon Bon broke the silence. Big Macintosh and Lyra responded by spewing their coffee, drenching each other in it. Bon Bon chuckled as the two ponies coughed and sputtered. “Why would you say that?” Lyra finally managed to spit out. “Well, think about it.” Bon Bon waved her hoof, “He’s got a kid with each of Applejack’s friends, Ditzy, Carrot, Mrs. Cake, a couple of ponies who we’ve really seen a few times, Celebrities, the Princess, and… whatever Discord is. What about me?” “…I suppose it’s possible.” Big Macintosh agreed. “Yeah, but why would you want to see that?” Lyra frowned, “I mean… that would be really weird, seeing what would have happened if your best friend married your coltfriend.” “It would be interesting.” Bon Bon shrugged, “…How come there isn’t a filly from the two of you?” “What?” the two ponies turned their attention back to Bon Bon. “Well, think about it.” Bon Bon waved a hoof, “They’re all from the future.” “Right.” “So why hasn’t a filly claiming that you two are her parents popped up yet?” Bon Bon pointed out. “…They never specified how much time has happened between now and…whenever they were born.” Lyra countered, “Which means… that it hasn’t happened yet.” “Or perhaps that it can’t.” Big Macintosh added. “What do you mean?” the two mares gave Big Macintosh an odd look. “Well, they’re all from alternate universes.” Big Macintosh pointed out, “The ones that Golden Gem, Acey, Sparkling Cider, Scarlet Tornado, Apple Pie, Apple Jam and Garden Royal are from are seem to be nearly th’ same as this on, except for who I ended up with. Th’ one Center Stage is from seems ta’ have changed earlier, ‘cause he mentions me findin’ her before th’ Royal wedding.” “Right.” Lyra sipped her coffee. “Th’ others all got wild stories about them. Fer instance, Nova an’ Midnight both have Lyra as one of th’ Elements of Harmony. Golden Sweet says that I’m an Element in her world. Cinnamon says that Applejack stayed in Manehattan in her world, and I don’t even know what’s goin’ on in Bellona’s world.” “So?” Bon Bon frowned, “what’s your point?” “I’m gettin’ to that. Th’ way I think it works, is that they can cross over because they work on different frequencies, th’ reason there ain’t any kid from me an’ Lyra is because it doesn’t work.” “…Huh?” the two mares blinked. “…Give me a pencil an’ some paper.” Big Macintosh sighed. Lyra quickly levitated a pencil and paper towards Big Macintosh, who set to work. “Alright, here.” Big Macintosh pushed a sheet towards the mares, holding the pencil in his teeth. “See this line here?” the Stallion motioned towards a straight line, “That’s our universe.” Big Macintosh motioned towards seven other lines. Each line had very small marks to differentiate them from the straight line. “These ones represent th’ ones that Cheerilee, Sweetie Belle, and th’ other elements are from. For th’ most part they’re similar to ours, so they don’t look too different.” The stallion points towards three other lines, with wild designs. “These three are specifically representin’ Nova, Cinnamon an’ Golden Sweet; since their universes are very different. For starters they have different ponies as th’ Elements, an’ in Nova and Golden Sweet’s case, they got different ponies in charge. So they’re further away from our universe. That makes sense, right?” Big Macintosh looked at the mares, who nodded in agreement. “Alright, so now…” Big Macintosh quickly added onto the lines, so that they all crossed over with the straight line. “So they can all cross over since they’re separate. Th’ line representing our universe isn’t able to cross over itself, hence why there isn’t a kid from us.” “…There’s a flaw in your idea, Mac.” Lyra pointed out, “Here give me that.” Lyra took the pencil away from Big Macintosh and flipped over the paper. She drew a straight line and several squiggly lines, followed by an X in the middle of the straight line, and Xs further down the squiggly lines. She pointed to the straight line. “This is our universe. The ‘X’ represents now.” Lyra pointed to the other Xs, “This represents the point in time where all the kids are from. Especially with Sweetie Belle and Mrs. Cake.” Lyra’s muzzle crinkled in disgust. “So you see that there’s all this space between then and now. With your model, the universes intercept at one point in the future, meaning that the kids should show up then, rather than now. If one universe can’t curve back on itself, why can all the others curve back onto this one?” Big Macintosh paused, “…I guess that didn’t occur ta’ me.” “So there’s something else at work here.” Lyra frowned. “…My head hurts.” Bon Bon shook her head. “Well, all that really matters is that we still don’t know anything.” Lyra crumbled up the paper and tossed it aside. “Eyup.” The kitchen once again fell into silence, as the ponies drank their coffee. Suddenly, a knock on the door alerted the three of them. “Who could that be?” Bon Bon set her cup down and trotted off to open the door. “Somethin’ looks like it’s botherin’ you, Lyra.” Big Macintosh noted, “Wanna talk about it?” “…I’ve been giving it a lot of thought.” Lyra placed her cup down, “What if we can’t send them back? “Then I take care of’m until we can.” Big Macintosh shrugged, “Simple.” Lyra looked down, towards her cup of coffee, “…What if I said-” “..That you ain’t ready for kids?” Big Macintosh finished her sentence. Instead of responding, Lyra simply nodded. Big Macintosh paused, pondering what to say. “I ain’t gonna force you t’ care for them.” Big Macintosh informed her, “My kids, my responsibilities.” “But there’s still what we want.” Lyra countered. Big Macintosh sighed, “I’ll figure it out when it happens.” “That doesn’t make me feel any better.” “It wasn’t supposed to.” Big Macintosh sighed, “Lyra, I really don’t know what I’m gonna do. Th’ kids are a reminder of what might have been, not what is, an’ I don’t think it’s fair to any of us. I’ll take care of them, but I still don’t know how I really feel about them.” Big Macintosh paused, as Lyra looked at him. “They deserve ta’ be with the Macintosh who loves them, not me. I know that much.” “…Makes sense.” Lyra managed to chuckle a little, “You got a really good head on your shoulders, you know that?” Big Macintosh smiled back, “Eyup.” Bon Bon trotted back into the room, followed by Midnight Bliss. “Big Mac, you got a… visitor.” Bon Bon motioned towards the alicorn. “Hi Mo... erm, Macintosh.” Midnight Bliss corrected herself. “Did you all finish your chores?” “Eyup.” The filly nodded, “But I came to say that Miss Twilight sent a message home, saying to go to her house.” “Alright, go home and tell everypony ta’ get ready.” “Alright, Macintosh.” The filly nodded and took off. “…She’s the one from the universe where you’re a mare, right?” Bon Bon cocked an eyebrow in amusement. “Eyup.” “What did she say my name was?” “Sucre.” Big Macintosh stood up, “Lyra, you don’t have ta’ come if you don’t want to.” “No, no… I’ll come.” The unicorn stood up, “I think I should.” “Alright.” Big Macintosh nodded. The two ponies trotted out of the house, leaving Bon Bon alone. “…Sucre? That’s a silly name.” Bon Bon shook her head, “Well it’s better than Bar Bar, I guess.” --- Big Macintosh, Lyra and the children trotted through town. Sparkling Cider sat upon Big Macintosh’s back, while Golden Gem, Apple Cinnamon and Midnight Bliss followed Lyra. The rest of the ponies sat in the cart, as Nova and Bellona struggled to pull it. “Daaaaaaad, we said we were sorry.” Bellona groaned, “Can we stop pulling it yet?” “Nnnope. I told you, that’s your punishment for wreckin’ the barn again.” Big Macintosh paused in thought, “I don’t think I should let Applejack build th’ next one. Every time I let her, it seems like it just gets knocked down again.” “But it was Nova’s fault!” Bellona yelled. “’Cause you egged him on.” Acey Mac countered. Bellona fell silent, and frowned as she continued to pull the cart. “Mac, don’t you think we should let them all say goodbye?” Lyra inquired. “Let’s see what Twilight got first. If it’ll work, then we’ll let’m know. Otherwise no point.” Big Macintosh shrugged. “I suppose.” Lyra agreed, “Here we are.” The group stopped in front of the Library. Big Macintosh frowned at the pile of Newspaper on the door step and the overflowing mailbox. “…Well, she is working a big spell.” Lyra noted. “Eeyup. Cinnamon, you, Gem and Bliss are in charge. Sparkling Cider, you’re coming with me.” The fillies and colts respond with a chorus of groans, as Big Macintosh opened the door. Big Macintosh, Lyra, and Sparkling Cider trotted in, only to be greeted by the smell of rotting garbage. “Damn, that stinks.” Lyra wrinkled her nose. “Sometimes mom forgets to do things when she focuses on her work.” Sparkling Cider informed them, “Princess Celestia and Luna assigned guards to remind her to do things, like eat and bathe.” “…Hardly a good sign.” Lyra snorted, before wincing. The three ponies stopped in the middle of the room, glancing at the haphazardly tossed books covering the floor, scribbles, spilt inkwells and other scattered items. “Miz Twilight?” Big Macintosh called out, “You called?” The room was suddenly filled with the sound of cackling. Sparkling Cider backed up behind Lyra. Suddenly a disheveled Twilight appeared in front of the ponies; her mane messy, with hair sticking up at wild angles, her eyes bloodshot and twitchy. The unicorn broke into an unsettling grin as she noticed the others. “Hiiiiiiiiii there…” Twilight’s eyelid twitched as Lyra frowned. “You said you figured out how to send them back?” Big Macintosh cautiously asked. Instead of responding, Twilight burst into laughter, as her horn glows with its magical aura. A chalkboard skidded to a stop behind her. “This is my plan!” Twilight rubbed her hooves together as she turned to the board, “We gather all the little babies, put. Them. Into. A. GIANT CATAPULT. And launch them into space, in the opposite direction, where they break the sound barrier and get sent to their home planets!” Twilight turned back to face the utterly baffled ponies. “What do you think?” Twilight once again breaks into a maniacal grin. “…I think we need a second opinion.” Lyra curtly responded. “Eeyup.” Big Macintosh and Sparkling Cider agreed. “But this plan. Is. Perfect!” Twilight countered, “Even if yo…” Twilight collapsed to the ground, unconscious. “…Don’t tell me she stayed awake for all those days…” Lyra shook her head, “Looks like we’re stuck at step one again, Mac.” “Eeyup.” The door opened again and Spike entered. “Twili-” Spike blinked at the scene in front of him, “…Oh not again.” Spike groaned, before he noticed the other three ponies. “Oh, Hi Big Mac, Miss Heartstrings.” “Spike.” The two ponies smile at the young dragon. “Hi uncle Spike.” Sparkling Cider greeted him. “…I’m never gonna get use to that.” Spike grumbled under his breath, “But that’s not important. I just got this letter from Princess Celestia. For you Mac.” Spike held out the letter for Big Macintosh to read. The stallion trotted over and looked over it, silently mouthing the words as he read. “Well?” Lyra pushed on, “What does it say?” “Get everypony t’gether.” Big Macintosh sighed, “We’re goin’ to Canterlot.”