//------------------------------// // Night Three // Story: The Four and One Erebi Nights // by RandomBlank //------------------------------// The Four and One Erebi Nights or The Royal Intelligence Night Three during which the Royal Sisters find what they desired but didn't seek. “So, you really only read books?” Celestia frowned to Luna, settling in the biggest couch as Twilight brought tea and Ice Pack opened The legend of Hay House on the bookmarked page. “Oh, I’m not saying it won’t devolve into something else if the mood allows. But so far first night there was not enough time until morning. And last night the police intruded.” “Don’t call them that. They were uniformed thugs. I’ll make sure Ponyville gets a real police crew.” “And make sure if Filthy tries to bribe them they put him in prison, all right?” “Of course. His days of reign in this town come to an end. He has many concessions that expire soon. I don’t think the renewal requests will be approved.” Ice Pack took a sip from his cup. “Shall I begin?” “Please.” Celestia nodded. There, in the deep shadow of the alcove, stood a pony like no other ponies. He was exceptionally tall and slim, the white coat giving him a ghostly atmosphere, although his legs bore him with unusual bounciness. Thin, long mustache hung from his narrow mouth halfway to the ground, and a narrow, tall fez adorned his head. The grey mane was woven into multiple braids, and the soft, silk kimono latched with countless tiny buttons bore pictures of dragons and salamanders embroidered in gold, copper red and emerald greens. “Master Su Shi, nice to meet you again,” Jirvana smiled. “Countless?” Princess Celestia frowned. “It had only four large buttons and my tailor made a point that not a single one more was allowed.” “Wait,” Ice Pack frowned. “How many agents does the Royal Intelligence employ?” “Now, this is a classified information...” “I would say two. Both are here now.” “Mister Ice Pack, you’re too smart for your own good. Of course this information is absolutely top secret. Revealing it would be considered high treason.” Celestia failed to sound scornful, the good humor forcing its way onto her face. "Of course, agent Su Shi!" ⁂ “High time for us, Twilight!” Celestia grinned to her student. “It’s been a long time since I had such a nice evening. So, Ice Pack, would you mind booking an evening for me sometime later this month?” “Princess?!” Twilight’s mouth stayed open in shock. “Twilight, we are all adult here. I’m not married. I have my needs and asking the guards or servants would be an abuse of my position. Nobleponies of Canterlot are so boring and uncreative, and the agencies are hit-or-miss, usually providing some uncouth, arrogant buffoons. Now to meet a call-zebra with class and wit is a rare luck and I will not miss the opportunity!” “Of course, Princess.” Ice Pack nodded. “I owe you big. This is the least I can do, and it will be a pleasure!” He walked up to his desk and checked his calendar, pausing. “But please don’t use these disguises.” “Sure thing,” the princess laughed. “How does 17th sound? Saturday on Sunday?” “Excellent. Past sunset, allow half an hour for flight. One thing more. Your tea is simply godly. May I know what blend it is?” “Oh, my own mix. I will write down the recipe, and please have a box of it for now.” “Sis.” Luna turned to Celestia. “You still don’t want me to project a psychosomatic tea blend for you?” “Luna, the taste may be otherworldly, but the behaviors it compels are deriding. I’m not going to be explaining hoofprints on the ceiling to my servants.” “A little self-discipline...” “...while drinking tea? Tea is to be indulged in. Besides, we had this talk how many times?” “All right, all right. I’m not forcing you. I just don’t get it, a drink made to be as excellent as only possible, designed to incite pure bliss, and nopony ever wants to drink it...” Luna slumped. “Why?” Twilight stopped halfway to the door. “I still keep the box you gave me, for most special of occasions.” “That’s it!” Luna sniffed a little. “And I bet you didn’t even open it?” “Oh, no, I made it twice already. Once during the after-party after beating Discord, and once during the after-party after my brother’s wedding.” “Well, that’s... not as bad as some... I’ve seen some of these cans untouched after a thousand years...” “Maybe their owners just lead an extremely dull life?” Luna just kept sitting slumped. Celestia picked the recipe and box Ice Pack held to her, sent them magically to her room, then gathered Twilight under her wing, motioning her to the exit and they walked out, while Ice Pack picked up a small booklet from the shelf, sitting ...intimately close to Luna. “Princess, I think I know where the problem may lie. This is a book of short zebra stories for foals from my sides. In it is a legend about a king-wizard who really wanted to make all his subjects happy. It is a three-minute read maybe.” He opened the book on the right side. “I will prepare new pot of tea and get the third piece of Yeherebi, while you read this.” He left the book in Luna’s lap, and the first sentence somehow just leaped to her eyes, and she read on... There was a good king-wizard, who wished all the best for his subjects. Using his mighty skill of alchemy, he developed an elixir that would make his subjects always happy, always looking at the good side of things no matter how bad would matters get. He mandated all his subjects to drink the potion, and only he, himself didn’t drink it. For a time he thought it’s all good, receiving only praise from his advisors, and watching subjects happy about their jobs, happy about their leisure time, and seeing the upsides in whatever shortcomings happened in their lives. But then he began noticing disturbing symptoms. A smiling group of zebras was carrying a coffin. He walked up to the first one. “Who is being buried?” he asked. “It’s my mother,” the young zebra replied. “I loved her dearly, but now as she passed away, I inherited much money, and her room, so I’m happy she died.” The king was disturbed by this, but he accepted the reasoning. Spies of an evil queen of a neighbor country of harpies discovered the situation, and the queen thought it is all too good an opportunity to conquer the neighbor. After all, the fools would never realize the danger, would they? It was a miscalculation on her part. The zebras fought fiercely and mercilessly, without fear and without regrets, harpies raining from the sky, no prisoners taken. They marched for the harpy capital and razed it to the ground. And in the end, as the king rode with a triumphant parade, he cried seeing the destruction, thousands dead in the war, mighty relics of history burning, villages of innocent civilians destroyed. “Why don’t you shed a single tear for the fallen?” he cried out in anguish. “But your majesty,” his trusted general would answer, “We are victorious! Why grieve the fallen when you can cheer the spoils of war, welcome the peace and enjoy the new safety?” The king, deeply shaken closed himself up in his chamber, deep in thought. Around that time a plague struck the country, and many would die. The king ate some oranges, for they boost immunity to disease, then went among his citizens, to see if he can help. And he saw them happily throwing corpses out to the street, happily burning plague-struck houses, happily starving and happily dying. And they all would see increasingly vague and silly reasons for joy while not ever grieving the fallen. The king finally locked himself up in his study and developed a vaccine that would simultaneously cure the plague and neutralize the potion of happiness. As the antidote was distributed, he saw something he didn’t see before. His subjects crying with happiness over their fallen friends. This disturbed him more than anything before, and he asked a mother cradling her newly dead foal, why is she laughing. She raised her tears-filled eyes to him. “Because at long last I can grieve my dearest child. Finally can I not feel happy that I won’t be woken up at night and not despise myself for it. No longer do I want to kill myself for cheering the savings. An important half of me has been returned, and my dearest child will be seen away with respect and love she deserved, not thrown away as unimportant burden. For this I am thankful, and I cry tears of joy that at last I am able to look in the mirror without hate. And so, the king, enlightened, stopped dreaming of making all his subjects happy, and took to ruling them in such a way that they had as few reasons to be sad as only possible. Luna at first wanted to say something, but she fell silent, deep in thought. She tilted her head, a hard smile on her mouth. “You know, there’s a wisdom in that. I’ll try to make some corrections to the recipe." “So, here we go.” The zebra lay the tray with the cups and teapot on the table and moved the offal of the book to his couch. “I find it rather hard to believe. The wife of Emir would take the sword?.” “Not yours is to question my account. Now, master, make the cure for my lord.” So gentle and quiet Imira grew to play the Emir’s wife and queen, “Don’t dare to tarry, don’t dare to slow.” Her orders so firm, fearless and keen. ⁂ “...You broke halfway through a dialogue! At least finish it!” “Oh, this is a request I must refuse, Princess. Temptation would be too great.” “But why? Just some four lines more...” “Because I did not pick the pages to cut at random. I read it. Very recently. Very thoroughly. I swear it would not stop there. Big things happen within the next four lines.” “This is so frustrating...” “But think about what happens so far! Don’t you love how Imira, such a quiet mouse through the first three books, transforms into a warrior queen?” “Uh, yes! I got lulled into believing she’s an insignificant background horse, and then she reminds all she’s of the fierce Ark-Teke blood! But I don’t like how Jinai got into a secondary position.” “Oh, he’s so getting back into spotlight very soon!” “You’re so frustrating!” “I’m pretty good at relieving frustrations though.” The zebra sent the princess a mischievous smile. “You know you don’t have to. I’m quite satisfied. Of course I wouldn’t mind...” “Oh, but I really would like to... wait, no. I am being unprofessional.” Luna grinned, and shed the spell of disguise like one sheds a clothing. “Come on, be completely unprofessional with me.” ⁂ If you like clop, use the password "Erebi" to access the special NSFW/18+/XXX chapter: “Friends with Benefits.” If you don’t like clop, just skip it. It’s not essential to the story. ⁂ She lay on her back, with a wide grin on her face, her breath slowly calming down. “That was fun!” The zebra stretched, relaxed. “Oh, yes.” He snuggled up to Luna. “A dream come true.” “Really?” She turned her head to him. “I mean... I found out you didn’t take the cheque. I still don’t quite know why. And you must be getting hundreds of mares, and some way more skilled, more... uh, better than me.” He turned his head to her, their noses almost touching. “Jorvina...” he said, and then gave her a light kiss. They kept kissing for a while, lightly, gently. “Do you sometimes get a crush on a character from a book?” “But... Jorvina is... Just a disguise. Not real.” “Yesterday Jorvina saved my life. She found and destroyed a web of corruption. Tell me that was not real.” “Actually, it was my sister who did all the destroying. And I didn’t really discover it. It kinda... came to me by itself.” “She just set off the bombs you placed. And you could have let them take me...” Luna gave him a little smirk and a frown. “Could I?” He just shook his head. They lay for a while. “But it’s not me you find attractive, it’s that fake Jirvana from the book...” “Do you think I adored the disguise? The book described a hero. That hero is real. That hero saved my life. That hero is dripping my cum. She likes it. This makes me happy.” “Now if you put it that way...” Luna smiled, and pulled Ice Pack closer with her wing. “We still do have another hour until I have to begin my chores.”