Top Of The Charts

by GeodesicDragon

Twisted Memories - Part Two


Twisted Memories - Part Two


"Here's to celebrating a new friendship," you say, "and to getting so drunk, you forget a good chunk of your life."

Anon and Vinyl raise their glasses and clink them with yours before the three of you drink in perfect harmony. You slam the vodkas down as quickly as you can, after which Anon and Vinyl order another round. You already heard Vinyl say to the bartender that you were to get the bill, but given the money you got from Anon that's hardly going to be a problem.

"Let's take a seat," you suggest, "and start the celebrations with a few rounds and a nice chat."

Anon and Vinyl look at you for a moment before they both snort derisively. They walk over to a booth, leaving you to get the drinks... which is the chance you've been waiting for. You take the tray with the glasses on it and trot over to a secluded area.

After looking around to make sure nopony is watching, you light your horn and cast a spell on two of the glasses. It's nothing major, just a little something to make Anon and Vinyl loosen up a little. Because if your plan has to work, then they need to be as loose as a piece of string... if not looser.

You turn the grin you find yourself wearing into a cheerful smile – albeit with some difficulty – and take the drinks to your 'friends'. They both let out a sarcastic-sounding cheer when they see you.

"About damn time," Vinyl says, "I was about to send out a search party! What, you get lost on your way to the bar or something?"

"Far from it," you say through gritted teeth, "there was actually a bit of a queue. This is a nightclub full of sweaty dancers after all."

They snatch the drinks from the tray and slam them down with a loud "Cheers!". You sip yours slowly — no point in adding to what is certain to be a monumental alcohol bill. You can see the two lovebirds snickering at you from the corner of your eye.

They'd better laugh it up while they can because that spell you cast on the drinks is going to be taking effect soon, and then the night will get really interesting.

Sure enough, as you drain the last dregs of your shot from the glass, you see Vinyl and Anon gazing at each other with half-lidded eyes while batting at each other playfully. Before you know it, they're sucking the life out of each other in a heated kiss.

You clop your forehooves together gleefully. Within a few hours they will be unable to contain the raging masses of hormones surging within them. Hopefully by that time you will have taken them to a more public place.

You know in your mind that aphrodisiac spells are hard to cast — but you swear by Discord's left nut that they are worth it for the results they produce. Turning back to the matter at hoof, you clear your throat to interrupt the two before they both suffocate.

"You two seem keen to get the party going," you say, "so why don't we leave this place and hit the town?"

With their addled minds, Anon and Vinyl are easy to sway in your favour. This is another benefit of the aphrodisiac spell — it renders the target unable to think properly, mostly due to the other thing on their mind, thus leaving them open to manipulation.

The two of them nod eagerly and stand up, Vinyl taking on the form of a growth as she clings to Anon's neck. The human doesn't seem to mind the contact and waves his hand in front of him.

"You know what to do, Tech Beat," he says, "lead us to where the party is, and we'll do the rest!"

"Of course, Anon, right this way." you reply as you start walking out the club while adding under your breath, "You'll certainly be doing something tonight, that's for sure."

Malevolent thoughts in mind you lead the way to the next bar in town, the aptly named Watering Hole. 'Hole', in your opinion, is a very good word to describe the dimly-lit hovel. You walk inside and wait for Anon and Vinyl to catch up. It takes a while, considering the fact they can't stop feeling each other up, but they get there.

They immediately walk up to the bartender and order several glasses of cider, again saying that you are to pay. The mare behind the counter pours out the drinks and holds out a hoof to you for the money. You grumble under your breath and pay up.

In the time it takes you to do that, your companions have already drank half of the order. It would be impressive — if you didn't hate their guts so much. The aphrodisiac you put on them is also beginning to show signs of increasing in strength. Vinyl keeps running a forehoof along Anon's crotch while he traces a finger down her back towards her flank.

You watch the display in silent disgust before another thought comes to you. Ponyville is too small a place to humiliate these two buffoons. If you're going to do this, then there's only one place that will be right for it.

Canterlot. It's brilliant! What worse place to endure humiliation than the very capital of Equestria? Without pause to think you grab Anon and Vinyl in your magic and head to the station, both of them struggling in your grasp.

"Hey!" Vinyl cries, "What's the big deal, you jerk?!"

"Yeah!" Anon adds, "I wasn't finished with that cider yet!"

"Ponyville is far too boring for a party," you reply, "and fine you two know it. So we're going to Canterlot, like all the cool ponies do."

"Hell yeah," Anon cheers, "we're totally cool! Right, Vinyl?"

"Of course we are, Anon, you big dope!" Vinyl says, "We're the coolest couple in all of Equestria!"

They try to hoof/fist bump but find it hard to do so while being levitated a couple of feet above ground, instead flailing like a pair of oversized puppets... which they kind of are at this moment in time.

You see the train at the platform and get on board, dumping Anon and Vinyl in a compartment. You then put them both to sleep because the way they're acting right now would get you all kicked off, thus putting a dent in your plans.

As the train pulls away from the platform you go over your plan in your head. A small part of you thinks you are being a bit callous, but you soon shake that feeling off. Anon deserves what's coming, because if you couldn't put him in jail one way... then you're going to do it another way.

As for Vinyl... well, this whole thing started because of her and her Celestia-damned feelings. So she deserves it as well.

Once the train arrives you can put the final phase of your plan into action. You're going to sleep well tonight, and you can't wait.


You arrived in Canterlot without incident and woke up the two lovestruck fools in the carriage. Thankfully the aphrodisiac spell was still working — evidenced when they caught sight of each other and started kissing like they hadn't seen each other for years.

You managed to separate them, eventually, and led the two on a merry jaunt through the Canterlot streets. You were heading to the biggest club in town – which just so happened to be one you owned – and then you could put your plan into action.

You had tried getting into the smaller clubs, but they flat out refused to serve the clearly inebriated and, to a lesser extent, drugged up unicorn and human. So your place is the only one in town which will serve them.

The sound of breaking glass interrupts your daydreaming about things to come and you do a quick one-eighty. Your jaw drops in horror as you see Anon climbing through the shattered window of an off-license, Vinyl draped around his neck.

You stand there in shock for a moment before you shrug. It's not what you had in mind, but it'll still serve to get them locked up. You make your way over to the window and peer inside... only to pull your head back sharply and wish you hadn't.

You can't quite make out exactly what they're doing, but the noises they're making explain it loud and clear. Looks like the spell took effect a lot quicker than you expected. Either that or you supercharged the hell out of it.

A few minutes pass and you hear a clanking noise coming down the street. Sounds like somepony already told the Royal Guard. This is too good to miss — but you don't want to be seen here in case anypony puts two and two together and works out your plan.

You quickly duck into an alley, stifling a laugh as you hear the shocked gasps of the guards, followed by a lot of stuttering. Confident that your plan has worked you leave the area and head home. As you settle into bed that night you find yourself eagerly awaiting the delivery of tomorrows newspaper.

But at least until then you can dream about what might happen. So, that's exactly what you do.


As the recording ends you find yourself grinding your teeth while clenching and unclenching your fists repeatedly. Vinyl stands by your side looking more mortified than angry, but it still shows in the way she narrows her eyes.

"I knew he was up to something." you growl, "And this just proves it. Please tell me, Luna, that this will stand up in court."

Luna nods.

"It will," she replies, "but thou must be aware that the penalty for this sort of thing is merely a heavy fine."

"What?!" Vinyl shouts, "You're kidding, right? He drugged us and then set us up! Surely that would mean jail?"

Luna shakes her head.

"Sorry," she says, "but the law is clear. The spell is used in sex therapy, and therefore is legal. Misusing it like this only means a fine, so Tech Beat will avoid a custodial sentence."

Vinyl stomps a hoof into the floor and growls while you simply sigh. The tension in the room is palpable, but at least you have something you can use against your ex manager-slash-producer.

"Okay," you say, "we'll press charges against him. This will get out into the public, our names will be cleared, and Tech Beat's reputation will be ruined. The last thing he expected when he started all of this was for it to backfire on him."

This seems to cheer Vinyl up, as she stops growling and smiles instead, nuzzling your leg affectionately.

"Well said, Anon," Luna nods at you, "we were expecting thou to seek vengeance against him for what he has done to thee."

You shrug.

"He ruined us," you reply, "and now we're going to ruin him. So in a way, we do get our revenge."

Luna stifles a laugh.

"Say, Luna," you ask hesitantly, "why did you decide to help us with all of this? Surely a Princess would have better things to do?"

Now it's Luna's turn to shrug.

"As we have stated to thee before," she says, "Vinyl is a friend of ours. We saw from her dreams that thou were the perfect partner for her, and decided to help. Thanks to Vinyl we realised that we had nothing to fear about turning back into... her, given that we saw how she – and ponies like her – embraced our night."

"So you were just returning a favour?" you muse, "Sounds good to me, Luna. I'm just glad you helped me to see sense."

Luna returns your thanks with a smile.

"We will deal with Tech Beat later," she says, "but in the meantime thou art both free to go. Enjoy thyselves my little pony, and man, for thou have nothing to worry about."

You don't have to be told twice. With one final bow you and Vinyl leave the throne room and down the hall.

And straight into your new life together.