Honor the Dead

by BinaryTroll

9: I'm sorry, we are out of nukes at the moment...

Honor the Dead
by BinaryTroll
Pre-read by Honored Service
Chapter 9: “I'm sorry, we are out of nukes at the moment...”

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I pulled out my ipod.

“NOPE!” Joel said, backing away.

“Seriously? Who do you take me for? We're out in the wilderness and you think I'd be looking at porn. Rule 34 no less.” I said, typing in my passcode.

“I know you too well Wards.”

I looked up at the evil smile on Joel's face. “Fuck you.”

I returned to my ipod and stared at the picture of Luna that smiled up at me for a second. Shaking my head I opened up my emails. Just one new one. Honor above all else has updated.

I smiled at the stupidity of it all. Here I was, trapped in Honored Service's world, just casually reading his story. At least I can keep up with current events without seeing them myself. Which would be hard considering I was trapped in the Everfree. I tapped in my username and password and waited for the page to load.

“So what are you doing?” I jumped at Joel's voice.

“Well, the story of the world we are now in has just updated. So I'm reading it. Because it is good.”

“That’s kinda trippy.”

“Yeah. But why not? It's not like it'll drive me insane.”

“It's not going to make you any saner though.”

“If you think about it, it's basically like reading a newspaper.”

Joel thought for a second.

“Yeah, I guess you're right.” he said in a perfect imitation of the ASDFmovie bagel guy. (Go to 1.43 )

“Now shut up. I haz reading to do.”

“Well that’s interesting. Elements of Sanctuary. This should be fun.” I mused, turning off the ipod.

“What?”

“Brony stuff, you wouldn't get it.”

“Probably. You may not have noticed, but the forest is thinning out.”

I pocketed the ipod and studied the trees. Indeed they were becoming less frequent, sunlight even shined through large gaps in the canopy. And a plain was opening up in front of us.

“Fuck.”

Joel sighed. “What is it now?”

I buried my face in my hands. “We went the wrong way. Again.”

“Well maybe we'll find something helpful here. We did last time.”

“And we ran for our life from 10000 invincible shadows, only narrowly escaping due to my rather... dangerous ability. We could easily have died.”

We stared at each other.

“But that was interesting.”

I sighed.

“You know exactly how to get me to do something, don't you?”

“Yep.”

“Well lets see what horrifying creatures lurk in the plains.”

I had given up entertaining myself. I had given up thinking. I was sleepwalking with my eyes open.

Nothing had happened for five hours. Nothing. No poachers, no animals, no water. Just grass, hills and wind. Not even a tree. I felt like setting this place on fire. But then it would just be burnt grass as far as the eye can see and things would still be boring. Maybe this was what hell was like. You just walked forever, never getting tired, never seeing anything new. Just boredom.

“Wards?”

Joel's voice was husky, and almost carried away by the wind.

“Yeah?” I replied in my own husky voice.

“I just realized: you can call Dan now we're out of the forest.”

“You realize that after 5 hours?”

“You didn't realize it at all.”

I opened my mouth to reply but Joel had a point. I didn't realize it.

Instead, I pressed down on the headset button.

“Come in Dan. Come in.”

“I don't like you like that Wardo.”

My eye twitched. “Fuck you.”

“NEEAAAAAAAA!”

“Shut up. I need a vehicle that is well suited to grass and seats at least two. Preferably fast.”

“So why don't you buy one?”

“I swear...”

“Alright. Lighten up.”

“I'm being torn to shreds by the wind here while you sit up there in your air-conditioned jet. Just get me a fucking car or something. And a chapstik. I'll deal with your bullshit another day.”

“Fine. Be there in 20.” The radio died.

“You don't need to be so mean to Dan.” Joel said, licking his lips.

I sighed. “I know. He's just so annoying.”

“Don't be a hypocrite.”

“Right back at you.”

We fell into silence and watched the sky for any sign of the jet. Twenty minutes later, a black dot appeared on the horizon, growing steadily larger. After a minute, Dan passed overhead, dropping a large vehicle. We walked over and examined our new ride.

It was a dull green color. It had a similar design to a Warthog from halo, but without a mounted gun. In it's place was a large storage compartment. I opened it and peered inside. Five gas cans lay on the bottom along with a tiny yellow cylinder. I picked it up and examined it.

Chapstik

I popped of the cap and applied some to my cracked lips. Smelled like vanilla. I placed the cap back on and closed the boot.

“Take this.” I said, tossing the chapstik to Joel. He caught it and applied some to his lips too.

“That's better.” he pocketed the yellow cylinder. “Lets get moving, I'm sick of this place.”

“Same. With this we should be out by nightfall.”

My ipod was out of battery. I was sick of talking. There was nothing left to do.

A week. A whole fucking week. And more than half that time had been spent driving. We still hadn't seen a pony either. Or even any sentient life.

Joel and I had taken turns driving. Three hours on, three hours rest. We stopped for six hours each day to stretch our legs and make a fire. It was freezing out here. That means I spent 32 hours driving this stupid car.

We drove at an average of 100km per hour. We've driven 6400km. That's further than driving from one end of America to the other. AND WE HAVEN'T SEEN SHIT!

I thought that five hours was bad. Spending four days here just broke me. I was dead to the world. Joel and I had stopped talking after the second day. We just switched, slept and occasionally drank water. Somehow I hadn't gone to the toilet for a week. But it didn't matter. I don't care anymore. All I want is to be out of this sandy plain.

I thought my life in Equestria would be exiting and filled with adventure. I was wrong. This world just punished me for everything I said. With this we should be out by nightfall. This should be fun. That should slow them down. This is why I don't believe in the christian/catholic/jewish god. If there is one, he's a dick.

I put my foot down on the brake and stopped the car.

“THAT'S IT!” I cried, my voice breaking. “I WILL BURN THIS FUCKING PLAIN TO THE GROUND!” Joel snored softly beside me.

I pulled out the radio. “DAN! I'M CALLING A FUCKING NUCLEAR BOMB ON MY POSITION! AND NONE OF THAT TEN MINUTES CRAP! I WANT IT NOW!”

“Dude, calm down. We don't even have those.”

“I WILL NOT FUCKING CALM DOWN! I WANT THIS PLACE DEAD! DEAD!” The radio cut out.“You betray me? Betrayal is not an option Daniel. I will find you. And I will kill you.”

I laughed. And laughed. And laughed. And got thirsty. And laughed. And realized that being thirsty was a bad thing. So I pulled out my knife and stabbed myself in the arm.

Somehow, this act allowed my sanity to return and I reentered the jeep. Joel hadn't even moved. Probably for the best.

“Joel. Wake up. It's your turn.” I glanced over to the bundle of cloth that was Joel. He was sucking his thumb.

“Blegh, Wards?”

I nudged him again. “Yeah. Come on, get up. It's your turn to drive.”

“Do I have to?” he wined, hardly moving. I kicked him out of the jeep. He lay face down the ground, still not moving. He muttered something.

“What?”

He rolled over a bit. “Thank fuck for Jug.”

I sighed and jumped out. The constant wind blew my hair a bit as I crouched down and offered my hand to Joel. He took it and I hauled him to his feet.

“Jesus this place is boring.” he said, gazing back along the way we had come.

“Like you wouldn't believe.” I looked down at my arm, remembering the events of an hour ago. I shivered.

“Ummm. We've been awake for the same amount of time. I know what I can see. And it's pretty damn boring.”

“Like you wouldn't believe...”I said quietly, clenching my hand into a fist.

Joel stared at me. “Dude?”

I continued to stare at my fist. “Like you wouldn't believe.”

“Dude?”

I turned quickly and yelled into Joel's face.“LIKEYOUWOULDN'TBELIEVE!”

“OH SHIT!” Joel fell over backwards. “WHAT THE HELL?”

I laughed.

“Jesus man, what was that?”

“That my friend, was a wake up call.” I said, pulling Joel to his feet again.

“One hell of a wake up call.”

“Quite. Now drive. I haz sleeping to do.”

“Alright.”

Joel and I climbed into the jeep and I fell asleep as soon as I hit the headrest.

I yawned and returned to looking at the map. Being nocturnal sucks.

“Princess?” a voice asked from behind me. I sighed inwardly.

“Yes Twilight?” I turned to face my sister's student.

She gasped. “Luna, how long have you been awake for?”

“37 hours, give or take.”

“You should get some rest.”

“I can't. I need to-”

“I can watch over the map. It's not healthy to stay up that long.”

I stared at her. She had been guilty of staying up for far longer than 37 hours straight more than once. I sighed. She was still right.

“Thank you Twilight. In that case I shall retire.” I walked slowly out of the command tent.

The sun shined onto my blue coat and I shivered, remembering the being who controlled my dear sister. I hastened to my personal tent.

The cool blue interior of my tent was calming. A nice contrast to the blazing sun and war of outside. Even though I still had the body and mind of a young adult, I suddenly felt old. This war was taking it's toll on everypony.

I sighed and lay down on my temporary bed. Maybe Twilight was right. I should have a rest.

I closed my eyes and opened my mind to the dreamscape.

There were few ponies who were asleep at this time of day normally, and even less since Nightmare returned. As the princess of the night, it is my duty to rid the dreamscape of nightmares, and there were quite a few here.

My ethereal eyes passed over the pleasant dreams and focused on the more disturbing ones. Many of them appeared to be about family members or friends being dragged away or killed by the shadows. A sharp scream echoed from my left and I whirled around. That wasn't the scream of a pony.

My eyes fixed on a dream of a tall bipedal creature tearing a shadow to bits. It wasn't Honored, Honored was taller and had a short red mane. This human's mane was blue with a black streak running down the side and was dressed in a long black coat that covered most of it's body. It had a cruel smile and appeared to be enjoying the experience of tearing the shadow apart.

I debated whether or not to enter the dream. If I did, I might lose time when I could be dealing with real nightmares. If I don't, my curiosity will eat away at my sanity. I made a split second decision.

I entered the mind of the pony who dreamed up this strange human.