A Day In The Life Of Fluffle Puff

by Anal Invader


The Morning: Part Two

Chapter Two: Now With 60% More Hair Gel

9:01 am: Carousel Boutique-Front Porch
*thump*

An alabaster mare looked up from her sewing machine in surprise as she heard a large noise from outside her house/business. This mare was known by many titles; fashionista, Element of Generosity, large hat enthusiast, marshmallow, ect. Her friends just called the mare Rarity.

Rarity trotted to her door and nervously opened it, only to be horrified at the sight which she beheld. Standing in a small crater in her pathway was a pink plushie pony covered in roses, with more fur than her body should have had room for. She briefly recalled the name of this pony; Fluffle Puff if she remembered correctly. She didn't have much of an idea where this pony had come from, or what her relationship was to Twilight, but she did know one thing about the over sized cotton-ball. It was simply an atrocity to fashion. The fashion police would beat her down in the streets at the sight of her, but Rarity aimed to change that. She would give her a make-over so dazzling, it would make the pony shed tears at the mere sight of it.

Of course, before that, she would need to stop the pony from eating tulips; Her tulips. And she had just hired somepony to plant those too...

9:04 am: Carousel Boutique-Inside Store

Fluffle Puff looked around the store in awe and wonder. She'd never seen so many shiny pieces of fabric being sold at such ridiculously high prices before. Rarity had ushered her in to her store after levitating the flowers out of her mouth, and had proceeded to measure her. According to her measurements, she was a size XXXXL. She celebrated to herself, happy she'd gone down a size. Maybe she'd be able to fit into that sumo wrestling costume by the end of the month after all.

Rarity put down her measuring equipment and sighed. "Darn. My store doesn't carry a single piece of clothing in your size. I'll have to make you something by the end of this week. In the meantime, I'll have to do something about this messy fur of yours."

Rarity levitated the roses from Fluffle Puff's previous mission out of her fur, leaving a very disheartened looking Fluffle Puff.

Rarity gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, darling. You can have the roses back after I'm done styling your coat...and mane...I'm sorry, are your coat and mane different from each other at all?"

Fluffle Puff was quick to respond to her, immediately shuffling over to the nearest dress and taking a bite out of it.

The fashion designer stared at her in confusion. "O..kay then, moving on, i guess." Rarity levitated a pair of scissors over and showed them to Fluffle Puff. "I think it's about time for a trim."

Rarity moved the scissors closer to Fluffle Puff and realized her error. There was no way her measly scissors would be able to cut that puff-ball of a pony's fur. She needed something larger. Much larger.

9:20 am: Carousel Boutique-Inside Store

After searching for a few minutes, Rarity managed to locate some garden shears; These would do the trick. Rarity had never actually gardened with the shears before, but she had needed their use when a pony one day walked into her shop with particularly large set of eyebrows. Let nopony say that Rarity didn't take care of her customers.

She snipped them a few times to test their sharpness, or in scientific terms, sharpocity. "These will do the trick! Now come here, darling. We're going to finally give your fur the cut it so desperately needs."

Fluffle Puff was no stranger to ponies targeting her fur. She managed to avoid the greatest hairdressers in the world, and there was no way she'd let just anypony cut her gorgeous locks.

Activating Mode C6: Porcupine Fluffle Puff

Fluffle Puff's fur began to stand on end, branching out in hard, metallic spikes. Rarity, although confused by the spectacle, continued with her garden shears. They snipped at the ends of her fur, but to no avail. In Mode C6, Fluffle Puff's fur became harder than steel and silly putty combined. It was an ability passed down through the Fluffy Pony bloodline, starting all the way back at her great great grandmother, Puffle Fluff, who was known for being a deadly weapon, as well as a fairly good heat source during the winter.

"T-That's...how did you...but..." Rarity struggled to keep her jaw from hitting the ground, but was more or less failing. She straightened herself and took a deep breath to help get over Fluffle Puff's inherent super fur. It seemed as though she wasn't the first pony to try cutting it. "Alright, if I can't cut your hair, maybe i can do something else with it."

Rarity scanned her shop for anything that could bring Fluffle Puff back down to some state of normalcy. An idea came to her. "Ah, perfect!" she said, levitating a large jar of hair gel over. "If i can't cut your hair, I could at the very least style it. I mean, how hard could it be?"

11:27 am: Carousel Boutique-Inside Shop

Rarity dropped to the floor in complete exhaustion. She had been styling Fluffle Puff's mane for over two hours, and it took a hefty toll on her body. Now you may ask, "Why would styling somepony's fur be tiring?" Well, clearly you don't know a thing about gelling large, living cotton-balls. Near the end, styling Fluffle Puff's fur became like bending a spoon...with your mind...in a snowstorm...It was hard, okay?

Rarity turned her head and seeing the final product, gave a tiny smile. "Fluffle Puff, darling? Would you be a dear and step in front of that mirror for me?"

Fluffle Puff did so, for once actually being able to hear something somepony told her. She didn't like that. Words sounded...wordy.

However, her thoughts on hearing were drown out by the sound of her own squeeing. She saw a mare in the mirror that looked a little something like this:


Boy she hoped that was her. If not, she was totally stealing her colour scheme. Fluffle Puff looked around wildly, searching for her roses. She galloped - for the first time in about 7 years - over to them and, scooping them up with her mouth, bolted out of the shop, needing to show the world her new coat.

Rarity cherished the pony's happiness with her work. It felt good to correct nature's fashion mistake, once and for all. she lifted herself up and staggered to the door to see her off. However, upon reaching her door, she was met with an infuriating sight. They say a picture tells a thousand words, right?:


"Oops, sorry Fluffle Puff, didn't see you there," said Rainbow Dash, Ponyville's renowned ace in the art of flying, as well as the art of crashing, holding a cloud.

Rarity's eye twitched rapidly. So much for once and for all.

Oh, and despite what you might hear, wet mane is not a sexier look for every pony.