The sound of chirping birds awoke JJ. He cracked open his eyes and felt soreness throughout his body. It was if he went ten rounds with Grizzly. Jameson tried to lift a hoof when every muscle in that portion of his body screamed out in pain. He put the hoof back down. It looked like he wasn't going to get out of bed anytime soon.
At least it seemed like his bed was especially comfortable this day. JJ made a slight effort to drape his body further with his purple blanket. JJ nearly drifted into a state of slee when a sudden look of confusion overtook his face.
He didn’t own a purple blanket.
Memories coursed through his mind like the electricity that flowed through his body when the lighting struck him.
He was definitely not at the Celebration anymore. Gone was the grand room and all the decorations, and in their place was a small room that was sparsely adorned. He was laying on a comfortable medium sized bed and was draped by a purple blanket that he most definitely did not own. His head was held by a white pillow and above his head was a lamp presumably for reading. There was a nightstand with a lamp on top to his right, and to his left there was a panel with what looked like a microphone attached with a wire. A door was in front of the bed. There was also an open window that let the sunlight in.
Sunlight
“Well, nice to see that insane mare didn't succeed” Jameson thought to himself. The events of his last conscious thoughts came back to him. He remembered a huge flash of light that came from behind him and then his body froze for a split second, no pain or discomfort, just something that made his muscles refuse to cooperate. Then nothing but darkness.
The wind blew and from the floor came pieces of scattered paper. They must have been on the nightstand at one point but the wind must of blown them away. The papers floated in the air for a few moments before resting on JJ’s bed. He took a glance at them and noticed they were those standard “Get Well Cards” that people gave each other when they were too lazy to visit in person. Looked like ponies were the same.
In total there were about a dozen cards in all.
The first card screamed that it was made by Pinkie Pie. It wasn't because it was made of pink paper, it wasn't because the entire thing was saturated with glitter, but it was because right on the cover it read:
HEY BYLINE, HOPE YOU GET BETTER SOON SO I CAN THROW YOU A “YOU GOT BETTER” PARTY!
P.S. SORRY YOU MISSED YOUR “HOPE YOU GET BETTER” PARTY! I WANTED TO BRING YOU TO THE PARTY BUT TWILIGHT SAID THAT WOULDN’T BE A GOOD IDEA!
P.P.S. DO YOU LIKE VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE?
JJ did his best to put the card aside on the nightstand, a little disgruntled that some of the glitter was now on the blanket and now on one of his hooves. His body was healing a bit more and the act of moving some parts of his body wasn’t so painful anymore. He further examined the rest of the cards.
The second card had a careful design. On the front was a charming crayon drawing of the local schoolhouse and the standard “get well soon” on top of it. The inside had a message with neat penmanship, obviously not from the foals that attended the school. The message said the following:
“From all the young and growing scholars of the Ponyville Schoolhouse, thank you for that spectacular demonstration of courage and grit in the visage of peril exigency. We all hope that your plight will improve to exceptional in time.
-Ms. Cheerliee, Abecedary of the Ponyville School”
It was obvious to JJ that it was an excuse for a vocabulary lesson for the foals. The entire message could've been simplified to:
“All my students hope you get better and thanks for standing up to Nightmare Moon.
-Ms. Cheerilee, teacher who likes to incorporate get well cards into her curriculum”
Ponies didn’t use the words, “visage”, “exigency”, “Abecedary”, as well as other five dollar words that were in the message in everyday conversation. Jameson imagined Cheerilee writing the words on the board as she wrote them on the paper and asking the class if they knew what their meaning was. Then there’d be a quiz with the full get well message with questions along the lines of:
6. What does the word “Plight” mean?
A) A bad situation
B) A dog
C) Parts of a body
D) Just give me the F
The paper was also filled with the messy signatures of presumably the students in the class. Jameson recognized some of the names like Applebloom and Sweetie Bell, but the other ones he didn’t know. Silver Spoon was probably just some rich foal, and Featherweight was probably just some scrawny colt or filly. James was confident he was correct in his assumptions.
Another point of interest to JJ was names in Equestria. On Equestria, names perfectly described who a pony was.
Fluttershy was aptly named not because of who she was, but because she is. Fluttershy perfectly describes a wavering little Pegasus that didn’t like flying so much. Big McIntosh was indeed large and he worked with apples. Mr. Carrot Cake and Mrs. Cup Cake was something that didn’t need any explanation.
Imagine having a newborn foal that was vanilla cream colored and had a pink mane. Was Fluttershy really something that would jump to your mind? Ditzy Doo was also another interesting point of contention. Just how would her parents know that she would be so clumsy? Perhaps ditzy meant something entirely different to them, but the coincidence was just too big to be...well, a coincidence.
Some names were understandable at the time such as Rainbow Dash. Her name obviously came from her rainbow mane and perhaps her parents were also speed freaks. The Apple family name was also another obvious one. If every member of the family somehow dealt with apples in a way, then you weren't going to name your foal Pear Share. Pinkie Pie was...pink. And of course Byline was just what came to JJ’s mind at the time.
Though this also brought an interesting question. Did ponies act the way they were so they could live up to their name? Would Rainbow Dash be so competitive if she was named Rainbow Lax? Would Fluttershy be so timid if she was given the moniker of Thunder Keg? Maybe Lyra Heartstrings would play a very different tune if her name was Viola Bowstrings.
Perhaps a name really was what made a pony. Maybe a pony strives to live up to their name and their talent correlated to who they were. A Cutie Mark was merely the stamp of a perfect mold, a paragon that embodied a structure of letters.
If so, then a pony’s fate was decided on the moment of their birth. Their personality, their dreams, and their future was defined right there and then.
Say a stallion named Dewey finds out that he doesn’t like organizing libraries. Maybe he finds that his passion is in baking. But there would be no way he could find employment in baking, after all his cutie mark clearly shouts to the world that he is a librarian. He couldn’t find employment and it’d be either going back to something he hates, or simply starving to death.
A pony did not make their own life, they merely followed a destiny. Life wasn’t an adventure, it was a ride that only went one path. The most disturbing part was that names seemingly also made an impact in Jameson’s own world.
Dr. Otto Octavius was changed from a brilliant scientist who worked for the good of humanity into an insane madman with eight limbs. Was it simply a coincidence his name matched with what he became? Dr. Stephen Strange was a neurosurgeon before he casted his hands into that occult mambo jumbo, something certainly strange indeed. And even that mutant terrorist Magneto was once known as Erik Eisenhardt. If he learned anything from German classes back in High school, it was that esien meant iron. Fitting for a man who manipulates magnetism.
Equestria and Earth had more in common than JJ cared to admit. Maybe Destiny was something that ran common no matter where you were.
It was a grim answer that Jameson did not like pondering too much. He liked to think that he made himself, that everything that happened in his life was by his work. There was no chain of that bounded him, he was unfettered by such nonsense such as fate and destiny.
To accept such a thing as destiny was to accept that there was no such thing as free will.
Jameson examined more of the cards. Most of the others were just from citizens of Ponyville who wished him better health and yadda yadda yadda. There was one that caught his attention however.
It wasn’t so much as a card, but rather a letter. The paper was exceptionally fine and smooth. It was dyed a dark blue that entranced the eyes and made one forget their worries. On one corner of the paper was a sketched crescent moon using different shades of black and white to make it magnificent.
The most strange part of the letter was that the writing was scratchy and archaic, as if from some forgotten tongue spoken long ago and only now was it being used to speak once again. It read:
“To the most Courageous Subject known as Byline,
We would wish to offer thou our most sincere apology.
-By the Grace of Princess Luna”
“Princess Luna? Never heard of her” Jameson thought to himself. There were other lands besides the Kingdom of Equestria, perhaps she was royalty of a foreign kind? He would have mused over this stranger more, but then the sound of trotting came to his ears.
The door in front of the bed opened up to reveal six figures. It was a strange group of mares, or rather individually they were perfectly normal but all of them together at once was a strange sight. The six who stood in the doorway was Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. Miss Pie was the first to shout.
“OH BOY, NOW WE CAN THROW YOUR YOU GOT BETTER PARTY!” she yelled as she bounced around the bed. The other had a more subdued, but still joyous tone.
“Nice t’see yer okay now” Applejack stated. She was soon joined by Rarity.
“Yes, it is joyful that your condition has improved”
They all surrounded the bed with warm smiles plastered onto their expressions. The expression plastered on Jameson’s face was annoyance. He didn’t ask for any of their attention, and he didn’t even know where he was.
“Just where in the buck am I?!” he exclaimed. A few of them stepped back from this sudden outburst while the others stood firm, knowing all too well that JJ’s temper was like a light switch. Twilight answered his question.
“After NIghtmare Moon struck you with that lightning bolt, you were knocked out cold. Some ponies took you to the ponyville hospital and you've been knocked out for about two days”
“TWO WHOLE DAYS?!” screamed Jameson. A lot could happen in 48 hours, a lot that JJ could've reported. It wasn’t so much that Jameson was knocked out for that long, but rather that he accomplished nothing in two days.
“Umm yes” squeaked Fluttershy. Pinkie interjected.
“Maybe we should have your hearing checked while you’re here also!”
“No Ms. Pie, I don't need my hearing checked, I need to get out of this madhouse!” Jameson said. The sooner he was out of here, the sooner he could get back to work. Then a question came to JJ’s mind.
“Say, what happen to that dark mare anyhow? I’m assuming the Royal Guard put her down for disorderly conduct and hauled her off to prison. Her plan was insane, but her heart was in the right place” JJ said sarcastically. Twilight once again answered his question.
“Oh don’t worry, we defeated her” she said nonchalantly with a familiar air of arrogance. JJ raised an eyebrow.
“We’re talking about the same mare that made thunder clouds and shouted the paint off walls, right?” Jameson refused to believe that the six mares would be able to harm a living being.
“We certainly showed her what for!” cheered Rarity.
“Yeah, we’re just awesome like that” said Rainbow Dash as she hovered in the air. It was obvious that none of them were lying to him. A few minutes ago JJ’s brain was shut down, and now it was starting to shut down again due to how unbelievable that six seemingly sweet mares could somehow annihilate a powerful alicorn. It was just inconceivable.
“What...exactly happened?” JJ was in a state where he wasn’t in control of his actions. Now his mind and body was driving him forward for the sole purpose to gather information. There was a variable that was unexplained, an enigma without a solution, a joke missing a punchline.
The six of them took an hour to explain their little adventure to him. They started with when the mayor ordered for the Royal Guards to attack Nightmare Moon only to be swatted away with lightning. The tale continued with Twilight Sparkle explaining to the group what the Elements of Harmony was and when they journeyed through the Everfree Forest. Each told their own personal tale of how they overcame trials and reached the old Royal Palace. Then their story reached its climax when the Elements of Harmony united and vanquished the evil within Princess Luna to free her. Well that explained where the note came from.
All and all, it was a pretty corny story filled with cliches of friendship, love, and all that other stuff that mothers used to get their kids in bed. Jameson remained silent while the six told their tale, but multiple times JJ almost gagged at how sickeningly sweet it was. Now it was JJ’s turn to speak.
“A good bedtime story, but you all acted reckless and stupid” JJ calmly said. Applejack and Rainbow Dash gave him an angry glare.
“What da ya mean reckless? We saved all a’ Ponyville, heck probably the entire world!” Applejack said in a defiant tone.
“You all should've just waited for the proper authorities to handle it! There were times during your trips all of you could've gotten hurt, or even worse!” Jameson shot back.
“What’s the deal? We found a way to beat Nightmare Moon and we took it!” replied Rainbow Dash.
“Then you should've told Princess Celestia and let the Royal Guard solve the situation. Those ponies are trained to risk their lives and get out of it unharmed. You six are just a bunch of dumb kids who read a legend and tried to reenact it!”
“Why I never!” stated Rarity as she looked away in indignation. Fluttershy started to whimper slightly but put on a brave face.
“I-it’s okay, no one was hurt in the end” she stammered out. This continued to infuriate JJ.
“It’s now about the fact that no one was hurt, it’s the fact that all of you COULD have been hurt. There was no point in putting yourselves in danger at all! Like when you confronted that Chimera. You didn’t know there was a thorn under its paw. So what if there really wasn’t? Then you would of been torn apart by it!” he yelled at her. Pinkie Pie jumped into the argument.
“I think someone is just a little cranky after waking up” She said while give off a bright smile.
“No Pinkie, I’m perfectly sober. I’m just angry that you all didn’t know better then just go risking your lives for something that might not even have existed!” he replied.
“Well I’m sorry Byline, but I’m sure the Princess will give us more responsibilities and anytime there’s trouble in Ponyville you can bet that we’ll deal with it. C’mon girls, I think Byline needs a little time to himself” Twilight said as if she were scolding a child who just had a temper tantrum. She started to gallop out of the room. The others followed suit, some giving him a dirty look while others just quietly went away.
Jameson collapsed on the bed. He was simply angry. He was angry that they didn’t wait for the proper authorities to handle the situation, he was angry that the ponies risked their young lives, and he was angry he wasn’t there to stop them.
But he was angry with himself also. Even with all his shouting and yelling, there was no way he would be able to convince them to stop being so reckless now. They would go searching for their next adrenaline fix, their next adventure. Worse yet, they were turning into a bad influence.
The problem with vileaglentes was that it encouraged other people to take justice in their own hands. No need for laws or courtrooms, if you had a gun or a mob then you would decided what was right or wrong. If there was one person running around and making the laws, then other people would get into their heads that it’s alright to bash in another person’s skull if he looks at you funny.
The other problem with vileaglentes was that they took the spotlight away from the real heroes. People like policemen, firefighters, and rescue workers risked their lives everyday to help people, only to get bumped off the front page by some “hero” in shiny spandex and wearing a thin mask.
More often than not those so called heroes weren't at a risk at all. Stopping a bank robbery sure is easy when you can just freeze the whole place cold. Saving people from a burning building looks much more simply when you can fly. But the real heroes, the people without actual powers were the ones truly taking chances. Police, not masked freaks.
That wasn’t to say that JJ was against all superheroes. He supported any initiatives that forced super powered individuals to answer to a higher power. He supported that group of mutants known as the X-Men and the Avengers. The X-Men answered to the reasonable pacifistic man known as Professor X, and the Avengers answered to the US Government. Everyone knew who the members were by a quick Google search.
A secret identity was just a way to get out of responsibility. You can’t get in trouble with the law if no one knows who you are. If you really are helping people out, then you have nothing to hide.The only people who needed a mask were the villains who harmed and killed the innocent. Those should be the people wearing the dumb capes and threatening masks.
All of that was what Jameson was putting in print for years. But now...now he might just put it into circulation in Equestria.
A thought came to JJ’s head. If he couldn't convince them to leave being a hero to the professionals, then maybe all of Ponyville could. JJ rummaged through the drawers of the nightstand until he found what he was searching for, a pen He took one of the cards he was given and started to write. Before the afternoon was threw, he had a rough draft of tomorrow's article.
HEROIC CONSEQUENCES
Byline, Editor-In-Chief
Daily Bugle
Ponyville- On the day of the Summer Sun Celebration, an entirely different event took place. A mystical entity known as Nightmare Moon attempted to create an eternal night. Fortunately she was swiftly defeated and order was restored. Of course all you ponies have already heard of this. RIght now I want to focus on the unforeseen consequences of that night.
True while those six brave ponies vanquished Nightmare Moon, let us not forget the consequences of their action.
Now they are burdened with the heavy responsibilities that they will now take upon themselves. Just who gave them these responsibilities? No one but themselves. You see by defeating Nightmare Moon, they have opened the floodgate within their own mind to act out hero fantasies. To seek out problems where none exist.
There is nothing wrong with being a hero, nothing wrong to stand up against adversity. It is when you put yourself in needless danger is when it’s terrible. There are ponies that are trained to deal with situations such as the one with Nightmare Moon, Let those ponies utilize their training and properly handle those situations. What next while they take into their own hooves? Hostage Rescue? Stampede Prevention? Getting rid of a rude dragon? Let us take a look closer examination of our new heroes.
Twilight Sparkle is a borderline diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as a sufferer of Severe Anxiety Disorder. She also seems to lack common sense that many foals are born with.
Pinkie Pie is a mare that hardly treats anything with the air of seriousness it deserves. She is also one of the most nosy mares and will stop at nothing to learn every secret a pony has. Everyone has to be her friend, whether they like it or not.
Rarity knows nothing of combat or of the finer art of offense or defense. She would sooner panic at her hooves getting mud on them then a friend in need.
Applejack is a pony whose schedule only allows a few moments of her time to be devoted to others. Her most defining character trait is how stubborn she is. Her way is always the best way and it must always be followed to the letter.
Fluttershy is a meek little pony that needs the constant support of others. One mean look can throw her into a state of panic. She isn’t the first to charge at the enemy, not the last to charge at the enemy, and is nowhere near the enemy. Hardly suitable for a defender of the land.
Rainbow Dash’s speed is only matched by her arrogance. The whole world is nothing more than competition, something for her to beat and later ridicule. Bragging is her battle cry, and she won’t be sated until she thinks she is superior to every other pony.
Are these really the ponies that should be defending anyone? Not those who have devoted their lives serving other and know the true meaning of honor and duty?
It should also be noted that they are now a corrupting influence, swaying others to follow their example of carelessness for their own safety as well as others. Think of the foals that will disobey their parents to go off on some crusade for one reason or another. Think of the younger mares and stallions who pursue impossible dreams only to met by disappointment and heartbreak when cold hard reality crashes upon them. The worst form of arrogance is the form where it spreads upon the unwary mind of others. It is a corruption that refuses to die.
It is obvious to this reporter that this can only end badly. They will get into more and more so called “adventures” until one day they will get seriously hurt. Then the cycle will continue on, not learning from their mistakes until eventually something even worse will happen. Then we will have no one to blame but ourselves for not preventing it.
We all must ban together and convince them that yes, what they did was brave, but it was also foolhardy and above all thoughtless. Respond to nonsense with reason. Only we can save those who saved us.
Jameson stopped writing and took a moment to admire his work. He had no idea how all of Ponyville would react to his harsh words, but he knew for certain the six of whom he wrote about would not take his little bit of smearing well. He didn’t write any outright lies or slender.
After all slander is the spoken word, this would be considered libel.
Hopefully by tomorrow morning he would have it printed and distributed throughout all of Ponyville. He had to make sure all of Ponyville would look at the six of them not with awe, but rather disapproval. He alone wouldn’t be able to save them, but maybe public opinion could. This wasn’t news nor was it journalism. He wouldn't make them famous, he would make them infamous.
This was an act of friendship.