The Monster In AppleBloom

by unicorn92243


6. The Monster

Chapter 6

The Monster

Apple Bloom lay in her room in the dark, staring blankly at the wall as she lay on her side.

She wanted to die.

If she was dead all this would be over. She wouldn’t hurt anymore because of her stupid brain, nobody would have to worry about her anymore. She wouldn’t have to see her friend’s pitying faces. She wouldn’t have to pretend to be happy when she wasn’t.

She never could understand death. Ponies who wanted to live, died, and ponies who wanted to die, lived. What kind of sense did that make?

Sometimes she would lay in bed all night and think of ways to take her own life. There were so many ways. An overdose of pills, throw herself in front of a wagon, stab herself, etc. But she knew it would devastate her family and friends if she did that. She couldn’t do that to them.

She wished someone could use magic to make her all better, but even magic had it’s limits.

It wasn’t fair! She had great friends, family, people who cared about her, but a stupid chemical imbalance had to ruin everything.

She sighed, got her diary, and began to write.

The Monster In Me

Sometimes I wonder, could it be?
Was I born with the monster in me?
Was it something I did, something I said,
To make him rear his ugly head?

He does all he can to kill my joy,
All he wants to do is destroy,
It didn't take me long to see,
That he wants to destroy me.

Because he wants to be that way,
I have to fight him every day.
I feel the pain sharp as a knife,
I'll fight this battle all my life.

Sometimes I get so tired, that he almost wins,
And that is when the trouble really begins.
My life is nothing but regret,
Because I can never forget.

He forever reminds me that he's there,
Sometimes it's just so hard to bear.
A vicious monster lives in my brain,
One that simply can't be slain.

Locked in a death grip together,
Locked in a battle that lasts forever.
And I think again, as I have thought before,
Sometimes he wins a battle, but who will win the war?

That was just what it felt like. Like the illness was a monster in her head trying to eat away at her. Sometimes she couldn’t tell what was the monster and what was her anymore. Sometimes it made her so angry she would say horrible things to ponies, things she would later look back on with shock and regret. It was like it hadn’t been her at all, like a bad dream, but she knew it had really happened.

It was like all her emotions were at an extreme. Anger became rage, sorrow became agony, even happiness made her feel like she could fly to the moon. She just wanted to be normal again!

Would she ever be normal again?

Celestia help her she didn’t know.