//------------------------------// // Interlude 1 // Story: Humans Assemble! // by Mistershield //------------------------------// (This is a what if scenario- Which would be canon to the story. It's explained in the story) Interlude 1- What If... Nate Drake held his arms out to the sides, standing on a pedestal inside Rarity’s measuring mirrors. The alabaster unicorn hummed a low tune to herself, measuring tape around her shoulders. Using her magic, she adjusted a long olive colored cloth around his shoulders. She was using Nate as the model for the clothing she was going to provide for the others. The human though, was getting very tired and bored of this. “Hey, Rarity?” Nate asked, lifting his head up to stop looking down. “Suppose we weren’t in this conflict or whatever.” “What do you mean, Nathan?” Rarity asked, lifting her head to stop working. “Suppose we humans came to Equestria without the fighting or changelings. What do you think we’d be doing now?” “Hmm... That is an interesting scenario. Assuming that we keep our same partners...” Rarity said, lifting a hoof to her mouth. “And no one would want to tear each other apart?” “Of course. Do you think we’d still be getting along?” Both took a moment to picture it... _______________________________________ Dan sat down on his favorite park bench, newspaper being pulled out of his left arm. The small human smiled, taking a moment to enjoy the peace and quiet. No kids, no ponies, and no crazy mare named Lyra trying to fondle his hands. He took a deep breath of air and then exhaled in a contented sigh. Both hands opened up his newspaper so he could begin reading. A Pink blur shot out from behind a bush. “Huh?” Dan picked up his head to look over at the rustling of the bush. He blinked once and then shrugged, going back to his paper. The Pink blur fired off behind Dan’s bench. “What the...?” Dan lowered his paper to look around now. He took a second to look behind himself. The Pink blur darted to the right side of him. “Who’s there?!?” Dan questioned, turning his head back ahead of himself to miss the blur just in time. Frown now on his face, he rolled up his newspaper to use as a weapon. “Gotcha!” Pinkie cried out, moving her hooves out to wrap around Dan’s neck, holding him from behind the bench. “Pinkie Pie!” Dan jumped out of his seat, only to be held in place by her embrace. “What was that for?!?” “Princess Celestia found the spell to change one of us. You know what that means?” Pinkie grinned. Dan’s eyes shot opened, moving his arms out to desperately escape. “Rape! Rape I say!” Dan shouted as he was being pulled away by Pinkie. _____________________________________ Soma and Fluttershy walked along each other, heading towards Derpy’s house. The shy pegasus smiled, her eyes closed and her muzzle rubbed against his side. Soma chuckled, moving his hand out to pet her mane. She cooed again, making contented noises until they stopped in front of the Hooves residence. The soul hunter raised his hand from her to knock on the door. “Who is it?” The door was opened, revealing Sokka at the door. The water tribesman was wearing a pink apron and wore a large pink baking glove on his hand. “Oh, Soma. Fluttershy, right?” “Hello Sokka,” Fluttershy smiled, moving her face from her partner. Soma nodded in greetings. “Did we catch you at a bad time?” “I was baking muffins with Derpy. Come on in,” Sokka said as moved away from the door. The invited walked in to let Sokka close the door. “What brings you by?” “Actually, I was hoping to talk to you alone,” The soul hunter requested. “Really? Why?” Sokka raised both eyebrows, a bit curious. “I will let you two talk. I’m going to join Derpy in the kitchen,” Fluttershy nodded and left the two teens alone. “Well, you’re a teen. I was hoping to talk to someone my age about something,” Soma looked around to make sure they were alone. “About what?” Soma took a moment to blush, lifting his left hand to cough into his fist. “Love.” “Say again?” Sokka leaned in to hear better. “Girls, Sokka,” Soma admitted, his eyes closed. “Ahh. Say no more. But...” Sokka took a second to shut his eyes and lift his right index finger up. “I’m gonna need some more props and you to sit down on the couch. I’ll be right back.” He blinked twice, leaning back a second to watch as Sokka took off his apron and walked off. Soma then sat down on the couch, moving his hands to settle his white duster against his frame. After a moment, he raised his head to look at Sokka come back. With a beard and mustache, and wearing a red suit instead of his usual blue one. “I’m ready now,” Sokka said as he moved his right hand to stroke his beard. “Now then. What seems to be the problem?” “The beard suits you.” Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Derpy offered Fluttershy some tea with a smile. A platter with muffins was set in the center. “How’s things with Mr. Sokka?” The pink mare asked. “It’s great. As soon as the Mayor gets me a chance, I will have some adoption papers ready to sign,” Derpy shut both eyes to smile. “You’re going to adopt Sokka?” Fluttershy raised her eyebrows. “Of course! He’s still looks so young. And from what he tells me, he lost his momma when he was very young,” Derpy lowered her head to frown. Her eyes opened as they rolled in her sockets a bit. “Oh, that’s strange. All the other mares with humans seem to want to, umm...” Fluttershy stopped there, a blush forming on her muzzle. “Seem to want to what?” Derpy picked up her head, left eyebrow raised. “Oh, nevermind,” Fluttershy squeaked out. With all of Soma’s talk of dominating souls, she had pictured herself getting dominated by him. “You’re weird.” ________________________________________ “Travis, why exactly are we doing this?” Otacon asked. He was sitting down on a chair, across from the assassin. They were both in Canterlot, inside Travis’ room. “Well, we need something to do while Luna and Twilight get ready,” Travis said with a shrug. “Fine. Let’s do this. Sailor Moon or Dragonball Z? “Duh. Sailor Moon. If I wanted to see men go at it while yelling and doing nothing but talk a lot, I’d see real wrestling,” Travis shrugged. “Gundam or Robotech?” “Duh, Robotech. Least they don’t keep putting in pretty boys or feel the need to keep throwing us different robots every few years,” Otacon scoffed. “What’s with the cold attitude the heroes seem to have anyway in Gundam? Astro Boy or Gigantor?” “Oh, damn man. That was old school..” Travis moved his gloved hand to run through his hair a bit. “They both suck to me, but I guess Gigantor. Astro Boy had a lot of child innocence just conflicts against the threats presented. I mean, a little robot boy against giant robots? Least Gigantor felt the battle was not all one sided.” Travis raised both hands to rest on his knees to think about the next one. “Cowboy Bebop or Outlaw Star?” “Bounty hunters or space mercenaries...” Otacon leaned back in his seat and sighed. “Cowboy had the way better soundtrack and hero, but Outlaw Star had the better support cast.” The engineer shut both eyes and crossed his arms on his chest to think about it. “Cowboy had the best villain, but Outlaw had better fights. Tough Call, but I guess it goes to the better comedy. Cowboy Bebob.” “Better comedy?” Travis raised his left eyebrow. Otacon grinned, leaning forward a bit to look at Travis in the face. “Hey Mister. This here is the stairway to heaven- You know that, don’t cha?” The assassin took a second to relax his face, only to raise his right hand and point with his index finger. “Obnoxious little frog!” Travis started to laugh, Otacon joining in when Travis got the reference. “Come, Twilight Sparkle,” A voice spoke from the other room. “But... But this is so embarrassing!” Twilight whined in a low voice. “Hmm?” Otacon stopped laughing and picked up his head. After a second, Princess Luna and Twilight walked out, dressed in maid outfits. Luna in her french maid, while Twilight came out dressed in a more modest outfit. She had black horse shoes on her hooves, a long black dress with a white apron. But on her back legs, she wore fishnet stockings. The unicorn had a blush on her face, and a black frilly hat behind her horn. “Do... Do you like it?” Twilight asked in a low voice, unable to look Otacon in the eyes. Travis picked up his head, grin on his face to look at the fellow otaku’s face. “Twilight, what did we practice?” Luna picked up her head, smiling down at the purple pony. “I’m here to serve you, Master,” Twilight raised her head to smile. Otacon twirled in the air a second, blood gushing out of his nose. A stupid grin was on his face as his arms swung and he fell to the ground as an “Oh Yeah!” was said in the background. “Otacon!” Twilight rushed over to look down at her partner as Travis begun to fist pump rapidly. “I knew it!” The assassin grinned, standing up to walk over to Luna and pet his servant. “Totally worth it.” __________________________________ “Okay, Applebloom, could you hand me the hammer?” Hoagie asked, moving his left hand out to the little filly. The earth pony nodded, moving to grab the hammer with her mouth to hand it over to the round child. Number 2 took the hammer and then turned his head to look at the drool on the tool. “Ohh... Sorry?” Applebloom picked up her head, a bit sheepish as her partner moved his hand away to wipe it against his shorts. “Aww, don’t sweat it! I’ve gotten oil and worse on me,” Hoagie assured her with a smile. His other hand moved to rub her mane. His thumb moved to pet her ear, making it flicker a bit. She shut her eyes and smiled, glad Hoagie wasn’t scolding her on proper tool maintenance. “You’re a lot better partner than some of the-” “No! No more hugs!” Rumble shouted as he ran from Kuki. The green sweater monster simply skipped after her prey. Behind them, Scootaloo and Wally gave chase. Not too far away, Nigel was sitting down to look at some blueprints. Sweetie Bell shut her eyes and then smiled as she started a song. Number one looked up at his partner and smiled, listening to her sing. “Yeah- Ah see what you mean,” Applebloom turned her head away from the chase scene. She took a moment to look at the additions the KND were adding to their clubhouse. “Why are the others not helping like you?” “What?” The engineer of the children blinked once behind his goggles to turn and look back at her. “Well, ya’ll have jobs, right? Is that how you got your cutie marks?” “Oh right. Well yeah, we all got our talents. But I like to think myself as a comedian, philosopher, and pilot rather than just an engineer though,” Hoagie said. “I mean, what’s the point at just being good at one talent?” “Huh. Never thought about it like that. But Ah’ll never get mah cutie mark if I don’t find my talent,” Applebloom lowered her head. “Ah, I’m sure you’ll get yours,” Hoagie said as he raised the hammer up. “In reality, all men are sculptors, constantly chipping away the unwanted parts of their lives, trying to create their idea of a masterpiece.” “Woah...” Applebloom opened her eyes wide. “Are you telling me all them human adults are still at it?” That was deep, even though she couldn’t understand it all. Must be a male thing. But she was starting to see her partner in a new light. “I think so. I know I’m still working at it,” Hoagie said with a smile. “Where’d you learn that?” Applebloom asked. “Eddie Murphy. He’s a comedian back in my world.” “A comedian said that?” Applebloom opened her eyes wide again. She would’ve figured somepony really smart like Twilight Sparkle would think of something like that. “Yep. I was surprised too, but now, I have a lot more respect for comedy. It’s not just for laughs, it can teach too,” Hoagie chuckled and turned his head back to his work. Applebloom walked a little closer to her partner and sat down, wondering what else she could learn. A small blush formed on her face, staring up at the round KND. Number 5 smirked, looking away from her painting of the clubhouse. She turned to look at her pirate partner, wondering if he got all that. Pipsqueak was looking over at Hoagie, eyebrows raised a second. Abigail smiled, glad to know that the ponies didn’t make fun at Hoagie’s weight. Maybe she should find a way to spend more time with Number 2. ___________________________________ Ash leaned back in his seat, looking at how ponies walked back and forth through the street. At his side, Snake joined him in the cafe. Each one enjoyed a cup of joe, staying quiet as their partners discussed important business. “So, that’s all I have to do?” Trixie asked. “Even after all the trouble I’ve caused?” “Yes, just a few papers signed and you can become a permanent resident of Ponyville. Though it means no more traveling shows for a while,” Mayor Mare pushed a few applications to the unicorn. “No one actually hates you, and it’s mostly water under the bridge now.” “What about David?” “Hmm? What’s this about me?” Snake lowered his cup a second and raised his eyebrows. “Oh course. Any of the humans can become permanent residents if they marry an Equestrian,” Mayor Mare stated with a smile. Ash spit out his coffee into Snake’s face. Trixie looked down, her front hooves rubbing against each other as red tinted against her light blue coat over her cheeks. “Thanks a lot,” Snake frowned at Ash, lifting a napkin to clean his face. “I hear wedding bells,” Ash smirked to look at the stealth agent. “Oh, Mayor,” Trixie smirked. “So when are you proposing?” “I hope to within a week or two...” “Wait, what?” Ash raised his eyebrows. “Oh, well I can’t have my partner running around without being a city resident, right?” The Mayor asked with her own blush. “Shit.” _________________________________ Lyra sat with Bonbon in the park, enjoying a moment and watching their partners talk with each other. Metal clashed against metal, long sword striking against a heavy broadsword. Sephiroth smirked, confronting Cloud in the air. Each one spread their wing out, Sephiroth’s dark bird against Cloud’s bat. “I won’t let you destroy these ponies!” (No changelings meant no tournament of champions, so Sephiroth was never attitude adjusted.) “As if you can fight the darkness in your heart,” Sephiroth chided the former SOLDIER. “Why are you even bothering defending them?” They both separated for a second only to bring their swords back to clash against with each other. “Lyra, Don't you worry about your partner’s sanity? He seems a bit off,” Bonbon turned to look at her roomie, worried. “I dunno, Sephy didn’t start to turn all weird until Cloud showed up. You think they were an item?” Lyra turned to look at Snowflake. “Yeah!” “They’re acting like a broken up couple...” Nappa commented. Arms crossed on his chest, he watched back and forth as the two swordsmen fought in the air. “Isn’t that right, Vegeta?” “Those two are the only entertainment in this forsaken place without violence. It’s bad enough Nappa still lives,” Vegeta also stood, watching the sword fight. “Aw, don’t be like that Vegeta! Hey! I know what will make up feel better!” “I swear to god, Nappa...” “Dairy Queen!” “God Dammit, Nappa!” Vegeta squeezed his fists. “So help me, they better have large blizzards.” ____________________________________ Samurai Jack sat down at the edge of the water, joined by Spike. Jack smiled, weaving a hat and teaching Spike to do it as well. It was a bit hard for the toddler dragon, but Jack was patient with him. Gilgamesh sat close to them, watching them both work. “How much longer will this take?” Gilgamesh asked. “I still want your Astral katana.” “Be patient Gilgamesh. This will not take long. I will not deny your challenge,” Jack raised his head to smile. “Hey Jack, if that sword is so important, why don’t you refuse the challenge?” Spike asked. He took a second to stick out his tongue, trying to get the weave to go through the loop. “I am a samurai and I avoid pointless fights. But Gilgamesh...” Jack stopped talking to look at the weapon collector. “Gilgamesh has his own code. To deny him this challenge would be like denying his existence, something rude from one warrior to another.” “I don’t get it.” “What the samurai is trying to say, is that as a man- There are some challenges you must accept. Sometimes you fight for ideals, others, or for honor. And even if you should die, it would be alright. Because you stood up with your own two feet. I fight not for honor, fame, glory. I seek only his sword.” “But-” Spike lowered the hat he was working on to look at Gilgamesh. “Sir Gilgamesh speaks the truth. He is not evil, or good either. But there is something to consider. Even with this sword, that is so important to my family, in the name of honor I have fought without it- Even against Aku.” “Really?” Both Gilgamesh and Spike asked. “Oh yes. He challenged me to a formal duel. It was my one chance to end it once and for all. But even then, he tried to cheat me, but I came prepared,” Jack turned to continue his own hat. “But back to the challenge. I would give up my sword to a person worthy of it. I have no heir, and I’m no immortal. One day, my sword will have no master. While I intend to fight till my last breath, one day someone else must take up my sword. If I lose to Gilgamesh, it means I was not strong enough. And I would at least be happy, knowing someone that respects weapons will take care of the Astral katana.” “But if the challenge is so important, why do you teach me how to make a hat?” Spike asked, lifting his halfway done hat. “Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll never go hungry again,” Jack stated, hands moving to finish his hat. “What?” Spike asked, a lot of this manly stuff going over his head. “Young Spike, each time you fight, you risk your life. Jack does not intend to lose, but he wishes to teach you a lesson about being a man,” Gilgamesh crossed both arms on his chest, sitting straight. “Never have I met such a noble fellow. It will be a shame to cut him down.” “What do you mean? I’m a dragon...” “He’s teaching you a skill a father would teach his son.” “Son?” Spike blinked twice, blushing a bit. “Feed a man a fish- It’s what a father does for his children. Provide and care for them. But teach a man to fish- That means that the father taught his son a skill, and even if the father dies, he will die knowing his son will not go hungry,” Gilgamesh said. “That is one way to look at it,” Jack smiled. “Though this was meant for the mentor-apprentice relationship as well.” “Father...” Spike whispered to himself. He blinked once more, about to raise his head when Jack placed his hat on Spike’s head. “Think you can finish it?” Jack asked. “Yes, sir!” Spike lifted the hat over his eyes, saluting his partner. “Very well. Sir Gilgamesh,” Jack moved to stand up, his right hand moving to rest over his katana handle. “If you wish to teach Spike more, I shall not hold it against you,” Gilgamesh said, moving to stand up. He really didn’t feel up to cut down Jack now. Especially not in front of Spike. “This is a lesson Spike has to learn as well,” Jack lost his smile to strengthen his nerve. “Whether you win or I do, I want Spike to learn what it means to win or lose with honor.” “So be it.” Spike stopped working, moving to stand up and walk away and a good view for this fight. ____________________________________ Snape walked alongside the draconequus, Discord, down the corridors of the Canterlot Academy. The young pony students watched the strange creatures. Some in fear, some confused, and some fascinated. “Are you sure you want to do this, Severus?” Discord asked. “I’m a former headmaster and a teacher. I should think it’s obvious where I belong in this new world,” Snape said. He came to a stop in front of a pair of double doors. “Well, good luck on your interview. Want me to pull a prank on them if they give you trouble?” Discord asked. “I will show you why I am a teacher,” Snape said as he raised his right hand and pushed the doors opened. A room of little ponies and a few adult ones watched as he stepped inside. “What’s this? An ape?” A student asked. It was a young unicorn wearing glasses. “I don’t want to be taught by this thing.” A lot of the students started to murmur in agreement. Few of the adults started to take notes. Snape narrowed his eyes, stepping into his natural element. He rushed through to the front of the class, his robes flowing with his steps. “There will be no foolish horn waving or silly murmurs in this class,” Snape spoke until he reached the front. Each one of his hands moved to press his fingertips against each other. “As such, I don’t expect a lot of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion making,” He projected in a loud and stern voice. This immediately made the students hush. “However,” His voice relaxed, carrying his deep voice. “For those select few who possess the proper disposition,” He moved his hands from each other to grab the front folds of his robe and drape it over his chest and walked up to the unicorn that spoke up in his class. The tiny unicorn gulped, looking into the eyes of the human. “I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even put a stopper on death.” He stared down the unicorn a few seconds. “That is, if you think you are capable of such power,” Snape raised himself to stand straight and look at the whole class. “Put notions and misconceptions away from your mind. My former students could never impress me. Prove to me you are different, and you will learn things your pony teachers never could.” A lot of students stared up at the human as he walked up to the chalkboard and take his wand out. With a wave, a piece of chalk was lifted up to start writing. “My name is Severus Snape.” A lot of the adult ponies smiled, seeing how Snape certainly had experience with teaching. Discord grinned, looking through the window at his partner. Sometimes, chaos could come from a new way of learning. ___________________________________ “So Auntie, do you intend to woo Discord once more?” Prince Blueblood asked. “Woo? Who even talks like that,” Princess Celestia chuckled. “Forgive me, my nephew, but yes. I gave Princess Luna a second chance, and in a way, she was worse than Discord. He deserves at least an opportunity.” “Well..” Blueblood stopped and sighed. No arguing with his aunt. “What then do you propose I do with him?” He motioned to Johnny Bravo, who at the moment, was actually reading a book. “What do you mean? He seems to be alright,” Princess Celestia said. “He’s reading a book about how to court mares,” Blueblood said with a dry voice. “Huh. So touching a cutie mark is considered flirtation. Wonder if human women have those...” __________________________________ “So, this is what you’ve spent doing with your time here,” Wesker asked, walking up to Merchant’s booth in the Ponyville market. Junebug smiled at ponies that passed by, offering them a free daisy with each purchase from the merchant’s wares. “Wesker,” Merchant greeted him with an irritated voice behind his scarf. “Oh, come now. You know I was not the one who told them to experiment on you,” Wesker lowered his head to spot a Butterfly Magnum. “No, you just needed a damn albino for your team to clone,” Pasta crossed both arms on his chest. “You think about me or my brothers like that?” “I was wondering why you were helping Leon. I think I know my answer. How much for the magnum?” “You know the price, considering how much you spied on us...” “Ha. Fine. If that's the way you want to play it,” Wesker sighed and reached for his wallet. Merchant was probably the only guy in all of Equestria that could make weapons or bullets for him, so he had to get on his good side. “You better stop there. I only accept bits,” Merchant smirked. “Bits? I have none of those,” Wesker lowered his wallet. “Those are made of solid gold!” “Tough luck,” Merchant shrugged. “And don’t think about robbing or killing ponies for their bits.” “Why not?” “Look there,” Merchant pointed at Ralf, who was punching his left fist into his right palm. “Do you honestly think that-” Wesker stopped a moment, eyebrows raised as he recognized the man. “Ralf, the Ikari Warrior.” “He would probably stand up to you in the strength department,” Merchant added. Ralf raised two fingers to point at his eyes, and then turn them to point at Wesker. The Umbrella agent leaned back a bit, surprised by the hostility Ralf displayed. “Ah, Ralf! I found you some protein foods,” Cheerilee trotted up to her partner and smile. “That’s great, teach!” “Don’t call me that...” Cheerilee blushed as she looked around the market. They all looked at how Ralf leaned down to pet her mane. “You’re lucky you’re handsome.” Wesker felt like throwing up. _____________________________________ “Hey Nix, want to sing a song with me?” Rainbow Dash asked, standing in front of the Karaoke mic. “Umm, I dunno,” Phoenix shrugged. On the list of dates Rainbow Dash wanted to do, that was the last one. But it was the one thing the former lawyer was used to. Rejected date ideas were rock climbing, horse drawn carriage ride, picnic, and other things. “Come on. It’ll be fun!” Rainbow urged. “Fine, let’s try,” Phoenix said to pick himself up and join her. The music started to play as the words came up on the screen. Rainbow Dash smiled, starting the song. I think that you're rather unique Perhaps you're something new And if you'd like to oblige I'd like to get to know you. Phoenix looked down at the screen, starting his part. You seem fundamentally fun I feel like being your friend. Let's see the big city sights and find how well we blend. “You never told me this was a long song!” Phoenix raised his eyebrows, a bit surprised. “You got a problem with that?” Rainbow shut both of her eyes to blush. “I guess not...” Phoenix shut his own eyes to look away, his own cheeks red. “You two should just kiss already,” Spy added, arms crossed on his chest. “Yes. Spy is most astute. You both are way too cute,” Zecora added with a smile. ____________________________________ “So, Ah was saying, I’d like ya anyway. Ah’m just not gay,” Braeburn said. “Why are you doing this to me, Braeburn?” Vash frowned. Both were in the Appleloosa orchards. Vash using his height to grab apples at quick speeds to dump them in buckets while Braeburn kicked trees. “Aww, just teasin’ Vash. Got an eye on a mare to ask for the Rodeo Square Dance?” “I was thinking about Toph,” Vash sighed. Least she wasn’t a mare. And Toph was a bit cute. “Huh. Can Ah ask a question?” “As long as it’s not about my sexuality...” Vash warned. “Well Toph’s a human. You’re a human,” Braeburn added. “Right...” “Are you two related?” “What?! Braeburn, I’m surprised at you! I find that racist!” Vash stopped picking apples to look at his partner. “Oh well, Ah’m sorry! Ah was just askin’!” “Well, it’s a touchy subject. No, not all humans are related. What are you trying to say, huh? That we all look the same to you?” Vash pressed the subject, for once getting Braeburn off his back. “Ah’m sorry. Guess that was a little racist,” Braeburn admitted. “What’s going on?” Little walked to the two, with Toph at her side. “They’re talking about racism...” Toph sighed. “But it’s not a big deal. We’re all a little bit racist.” “What?” Little Strongheart asked, a bit confused. All of the ponies and buffaloes in the orchard joined in with Toph, all starting to sing Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist. ______________________________________ “So you just kick the tree?” Samus asked Big Mac. “Eeyup,” Big Mac smiled, his left leg stretched out to give a kick to the trees. Apples started to fall down into carefully placed buckets. “That’s impressive,” Samus said. She walked up to a tree and made a fist with her left hand. She then leaned in, throwing a bit of weight into her punch to make her tree shake in place a bit. A few apples came down, though not as many as Big Mac. “That there was well done, Samus. Real good for yer first try,” Big complemented. “I was holding back actually. If I used my full power, I’d probably break the tree,” Samus admitted. “That’s good Samus! Ya gotta learn control too.” “FUS RO DAH!” “The hell?” Samus picked up her head to look over at the sight of Applejack and several apples flying overhead. Big Mac opened his mouth, watching his sister fall into an apple cart. “You stupid Dovah! Use your legs, not yer voice!” Applejack shouted as she picked her head out of the cart. “Sorry!” Dovahkiin shouted, running over to his partner. “I’d thought it would be easier to shout the apples off.” “Don’t you ‘sorry’ me, mister! You owe me a few back rubs and kisses, ya hear me?!” Applejack shouted. She stopped though, her face turning red as Big Mac and Samus stared at her. “Ya didn’t hear that...” “Yes we did,” Samus smirked, placing her hands on her hips. “Aw, dang it.” _________________________________ “So Lex, think you got enough tools here?” The Doctor asked the businessman. “Guess I do,” Luthor frowned and looked around inside the Tardis. “This is amazing, Doctor.” “I should think so. Out of all of the humans, I think you’re the closest to understand it all, even better than Otacon,” The Time Lord admitted. “And why show me this?” Lex asked, stepping out of his battle suit. “Well, some of these humans- Well, they need to get back home.” The Doctor turned to look at Kefka, who was frozen in a block of ice. “Tell me again, how he’d get in there?” Lex asked, lifting his eyebrow away from the clown. “He was being a bit of a loony. So I took some security measures. He won’t suffer... Much.” “You have a twisted sense of humor, don’t you?” Lex walked back to the block of ice, leaning in to tap the ice holding the harlequin. “I don’t know what you are talking about. Allons-y!” ____________________________________ Vergil walked with Shining Armor, going over the barracks in the Crystal Kingdom. Vergil kept his head low, looking around at his new “job.” “So, that’s the tour. Any questions?” Armor asked as he stopped and look over at the half devil. “Yeah, why am I doing this? I’m a stranger, not even here a day, and I get knighted and made captain of your troops,” Vergil raised an eyebrow. “Well, I’m a ruler of the kingdom. I can’t really be captain. And I’ve known Crystal Ponies barely longer than I’ve known you. Can’t really appoint a real guard. Least you’ve had real combat experience.” “There’s more than that, right?” Vergil moved to cross both arms on his chest. “Well, you caught me. We just repelled an invading force of a dark unicorn named Sombra,” Armor admitted with a frown. “While most of the ponies are glad he’s gone... There’s maybe one or two of his former soldiers still loyal to him.” “So you want me to sniff them out,” Vergil sighed. “And since I’m a devil, those ponies may want me to lead the revolution.” “Only if there is one...” Armor added. He picked up his head, turning to look over at Terra and his wife. “Ah! You explained things to Terra?” “Oh yes, but...” Princess Mi Amore Cadenza frowned. “She has a few reservations.” “Really? Do tell,” Vergil asked. “Well,” Terra started to say, floating down to stand on the ground. “Aren’t you two usurping the throne?” “Usurp?” Vergil raised an eyebrow and look at Armor. “Umm, that’s such a harsh way of putting it,” Armor confessed. “Go on,” Vergil said. “Sombra was the legitimate ruler of the kingdom. Princess Cadence, out of nowhere, just comes and appears the ponies and is declared their princess, even though she has not even heard of this place until recently. And may I add, not even born in the same century with them.” “Wow, ponies are stupid,” Vergil raised his eyebrows. “Yeah,” Armor moved his left forehoof to rub against the other. “They just accepted her as a ruler without questions.” “No elections, no peaceful talks, no political debate even?” Vergil was getting more respect for his so called ‘boy scout’ of a partner. “Sombra was an evil ruler, threatening the well being of all of Equestria,” Cadence stepped in. “He came at full force for the kingdom and the Heart.” “So let me get this straight- You repelled the rightful ruler of the land, and he was only coming at full force because he felt justified that he got banished, and he wanted to prove you’re a fake?” Terra added, arms behind her back. The half esper was a bit disappointed in her partner. “But he was using darkness-” “Just, what’s wrong with darkness?” Vergil asked. “Did he kill anyone? Torment babies? Passed cruel laws?” “Not exactly,” Armor made his teeth spread to smile, though more in embarrassment. “No one even remembers what exactly he did wrong, just that he was evil.” “Well damn,” Vergil raised his right hand at the co-rulers. “You guys are no better than this Sombra guy. I like that,” He said with a smile. “And you know what? I’m not sure he’s being sarcastic or not,” Terra sighed. “But he’s right. You two should be ashamed of yourselves.” ______________________________________ Mama sat down on a chair, waiting for the donuts to fry a bit. She closed both eyes, humming a low tune to herself. One moment she was tasting something one of the kids did, and the next moment she was in a kitchen with the Dunkin Donuts pony. Pony Joe turned his head, turning to look back at his new partner. “Let’s make some more dough...” He added. She nodded walking over to the dough. Joe moved behind her, standing on his back hooves. His front ones moved through her sides, sliding to touch her hands. Mama grabbed the dough and started to knead it. Joe shut his eyes, sliding his hands along her own as they touched the dough. The pony shut both eyes, as Mama leaned back into his chest and muzzle as they closed their eyes. She could smell the sweet aroma in his coat. He could feel her warm breath against his muzzle. Up and down their hands and hooves moved, making the dough shape in a circle. Neither said anything, losing themselves in the heat and moment. Ding! “Donuts are done!” Joe called out, opening his eyes to walk away from Mama. Mama turned her head, her left hand moving out to watch her partner walk away. She turned around, lifting her left hand up to bite the back of her index finger. She wanted more, Papa never touched her anymore... “Oh Mama?” He asked. She turned around, only to find herself being tackled to the ground in a torrid embrace of hot air and wrestling lips. White dusted flour fingers wrapped around the apron of the pony to rip it off. “Keep the hat on...” she whispered in a low voice. Master Xehanort grinned, peeking over a counter at the couple with his eyes opened wide. _______________________________ “You know, I think it’s for the best we don’t think about it,” Rarity said, a blushing on her lips after the last thought. “Do you think we’d still be friends?” Nathan asked. “Oh of course darling! I...” She stopped herself, her cheeks turning more red now. “Care so very much about you.” “Heh. Well I care about you too Rarity.” Chapter proofreaded by LyonAzakura. Bonus: In a reality with no changelings: “Hit me again!” Rarity shouted, her left eye black. “You crazy mare! You belong in some dark, fight club!” Nathan got up, lifting his dukes as he sported his own bruises. Carousel Boutique was a mess. “So I’ve kept my violent side bottled up! And I finally have someone to share it with!” Rarity shouted as she ran at him. “It. Is. On! Kiss me!” “Psyco mare!” Nate yelled out, moving both arms out to catch her and roll around the floor as they snogged.