//------------------------------//
// Epilogue 
// Story: Equestria Noir Case 21 "Blood is Thicker than Wine" 
// by Jacoboby1 
//------------------------------//


Epilogue


The rain was starting to lighten up as I explained the story to the police when they arrived. They weren’t so keen to lock me up once they heard about the evidence I had. They were however, in for a rough ride as Pave regained consciousness. I felt sorry for the two unfortunate officers dragging her out.  She wasn't exactly the lightest weight of ponies, in the first place, and the officers struggled mightily to bring the old nag along.

"WHAT is the meaning of this?" Pave screeched.  "Unhoof me this instant! ARREST THOSE THREE!  They broke into MY house, threatened ME, and destroyed my property!  Get those mangy pegasi, too!  Well?  HOP TO IT!  What in Tartarus do I PAY you for? Take these horrid things off my hooves!"

Officer Frisk, who was aiding Dunnit in pulling her over to a nearby police carriage, rolled his eyes and said coldly, "Save it for the judge, lady, and thanks for confessing to bribing officers as well."

Dunnit shook his head and added, "Whatever testimony you had just lost all credibility. I hope you look good in stripes."

Pave looked around, startled.  "Where are the Noble Quarter officers?  Who brought you commoners in?"

"I figured you would just try to bribe ponies, so I had Twilight send a letter before we arrived," I said, with a slight smirk. "Twilight, read aloud the letter, please." 

"Gladly," Twilight replied smiling innocently. She unfolded her letter, an umbrella keeping it from getting wet, and began, "Dear Princess Celestia, I wish to inform you that Pave Diamond was involved in the attempted sabotage of your good friend, Sour Grapes. She's also bribed ponies of the noble quarter police force to do her dirty work. Please take any actions you deem necessary."

Twilight looked up and smiled at Pave rather smugly. "It helps when you have the ear of the princess. You're lucky I left out several of your comments," she told the enraged noble pony.

"Once that was done, it was simple matter of requesting the officers we desired to come here," I explained. "Two ponies that I know will get glowing reviews from me." Dunnit and Frisk smiled with pride at my praise.

"Oh, I'm going to be writing her a letter all about them," Grapes said with a big smile.  "The longer you're in prison, the longer Uncle Cabochon will be in charge, and the longer he's in charge, the less support your tribalist friends will be getting."

"WHAT?" Pave cried.

"What can I say?  I'm just a little bit vindictive.  You tried to ruin my life, frame me for murder, and all because I was smarter than you thought I should be," Grapes observed.  "I feel no reason not to return the favor."

"Dunnit, Frisk," I said to the uniforms "take this waste of space away." 

Dunnit and Frisk smiled at me. "With pleasure, Sir," Frisk said, as they began loading her into the police wagon.

"You can't DO this to me!” Pave screeched as she was pushed inside. “We unicorns deserve to rule this country!  RULE, not be some LAPDOG to a MUTT with CHICKEN WINGS!"

"Yeah.  That's really going to convince them," Grapes said sarcastically.

Dunnit and Frisk slammed the doors shut, muting Pave's angry screeches. 

Twilight groaned and said, "Finally, I thought we'd never get her to shut up."

Frisk then walked to me and said somewhat awkwardly, "The uh, Chief wanted to see you, Detective." 

I nodded and replied, "Right, I'll go check up on him." I then walked tentatively towards where Shinebadge stood waiting.
The white earth pony was looking more cross than usual. As I walked up to the leader of the ERPD I noticed, it was Shinebadge who had a guilty look on his face. 

“Shinebadge,” I said with a sigh, “I know you must’ve had your hooves tied. We both said some things we regretted.” 

“Ya just can’t ever seem to listen,” Shinebadge said, shaking his head “A lot of ponies are going to be unhappy that Pave Diamond is locked up, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad you didn’t listen to me.” 

“Badge, there was something else I found out,” I said, reaching into my pocket and pulled out a set of letters. “If found some correspondence between Pave and some of the officers she bribed,” I said as I held out the papers to him.

“Going to do a repea-“ He cut himself off when he saw the list on top only contained two names. “There’s only two?” he asked surprised.

“The other three were good cops I knew,” I said, unable to meet his eyes. “Dunnit and Frisk told me they were good ponies. They had families and such that needed the money. I informed them of Pave’s downfall and they’ll start cleaning up their act. It wasn’t worth destroying their lives to satisfy justice.” 

“Ya really have changed. The Private I remember would never have done this. I’ll keep an eye on them, and make sure they know where it stands,” he said, narrowing his eyes. I almost felt a little sorry for them.

“Badge,” I said deciding to get something else off my chest, “look, I’m sorry for-“ 

“Ya ain’t got nothin' tah be sorry for,” Shinebadge said. “You stood up to me when I was in the wrong. I should’ve just lent you help when you asked for it, but I was too damned worried that you were pushing things too far.” 

There were no words I could say for how I felt right now. Shinebadge, the most hard ass pony I know, was apologizing to me. 

He looked at me with guilty eyes and said, “Private, you and Fenlock were the best cops I’ve ever had in my career. I know I’m not the best cop in the world anymore. Its guys like you and Fenlock that get cases solved right. You didn’t care what status your dirt bag had.  You just knew she did something evil, and she had to be stopped for it. What did I do? I spouted out the party line and tried to make it look like I didn’t care. However, you went and did the right thing, even when I turned ya down. So, I've decided to make some changes.” 

“Badge?” I studied him intently and asked, “Just, what are you saying?” 

“I’m saying,” he replied slowly, “I sent in my two weeks’ notice.” 

“You really are retiring?” I asked, dumbstruck. 

“It’s just not about honor anymore,” he said, looking up at the rain. “I've made a lot of sorry decisions in my career. I just can’t keep a badge on my chest and put up with anymore bullshit. I’ll let the department find a replacement who can handle the job better than I could.” 

“Badge,” I said, unable to think of anything else to say to him. He'd been the Chief for so long. The idea of him not being in charge seemed unfathomable.

“You take care of yourself, Private,” he said, turning to walk away. “Ya never know what’ll happen when a new chief is in charge.” 

The rain stopped as I watched Shinebadge leave with the other officers. I just couldn’t believe it. I had heard County talk about it, but to see him want to put down the badge for good? It was more than I could ever comprehend. 

I walked back to Twilight and Grapes whom were chatting As I stood nearby, Twilight noticed the sullen expression on my face. “Private? What’s wrong?” she asked, concerned.

“It’s nothing,” I replied, shaking my head and looking at Grapes. “So, what happens to the estate?”

"I would presume that my Uncle Cabochon gets it.  He is her heir, despite his 'disappointing affliction'," Grapes answered with a roll of her eyes.  "I swear that old nag lives in the past."

"Well, if all goes well, she'll be living in a prison cell for a while," Twilight said with a smile. "Private and I are going to head back home, are you coming?"

“I've got to get everything ready here actually. Uncle Cabochon should be arriving soon," Grapes said.  "Maybe it's a good thing you're leaving, Private.  Uncle Cabbie sometimes likes to flirt with good-looking stallions, who he knows are straight.  He thinks it's funny."

"I'll be fine" I said, a little flattered. 

Twilight giggled a little. "Then you'd know how it feels pretty boy," she said teasingly. 

"Oh hush," I said, rolling my eyes. "You're just lucky you're too damn cute for me to get mad at."

Grapes laughed a little. "Aside from his odd sense of humor, he IS a good upstanding citizen. In the good upstanding citizen sense, rather than the 'I paid a bunch of ponies to like me' sense."

"Well, tell him we said hi, and that this stallion is taken,” Twilight said, grinning at me.

I gave a small smile and bumped her "Keep this up and I'll use my hooves in that spot I know will get you smiling."

Twilight blushed and said, "Alright, I'll shut up about it now."

"Well aren't you the handsome rascal," came a deep, cheerful voice from right behind me,  "and that fedora.  Such panache.  Simply adds to the whole: 'I'm a well-known detective' vibe you have, going on there."

Grapes facehoofed as I slowly turned around. Standing there was a very dapper blonde unicorn with a tan coat, and a neat goatee.  Very much like an older, more refined, version of Dusty. His suit vest was a light gray with a black pinstripe, and his blue eyes danced with mirth at any discomfort I may be feeling. "So.  I hear you just had my Mother locked up. Couldn't have happened to a nicer mare."

"Uh thanks," I said, trying not to seem uncomfortable. "Detective Private Eye, you must be Cabochon."

"The one and only, dear boy," he said cheerfully.  "Just here to see what's to be done with Mother's monument to bad taste, and see what I can do for my dear sister, and niece.  Nice to meet the famous Private Eye, bringer of justice to ponies high and low."

"Yeah that's me," I said.

"Good for you, old boy.  Some of my fellow nobles tend to get too big for their saddles," Cabochon said with a chuckle.  "My mother, and a certain Prince being prime examples.  Well, I'll leave you two alone.  We've got a busy few days ahead of us, eh, Grapes?"

"No kidding," Grapes uttered, with an eye roll.

I let out a sigh of relief as the two began walking towards the monument of bad taste. I smiled at Twilight and said, "I guess I'm not as attractive to stallions as I am to mares." 

Twilight smiled in turn and replied, "Well, you're perfectly handsome in my book." She brushed against me and nuzzled me. “That’s all that counts.”

"By the way, Miss Sparkle, you've netted yourself a fine specimen of stallionhood.  Don't let him get stolen from beneath your hooves," Cabochon called back, causing Grapes to do a double-facehoof.

I blushed bright red as Twilight giggled. Somepony was getting a nasty tickling later.
_____________________________________________________
Perspective: Sour Grapes

I looked over the horrid statuary, contrasting with the well designed gardens, and sighed gustily.  Change had come, and for the better, but that still meant a lot of work.  Time taken away from my real work, too.  Oh well, at least neither Dusty or I would have to deal with that obnoxious old biddy ever again.

"Well, Uncle, it's all yours now," I said.

"What if I don't WANT it?” he asked incredulously. "Even you can admit that Mother had horrible taste."

"It's still yours, Uncle Cabochon."

"Why don't YOU take it?"

"What in the hoary horseradished hay would I DO with it?"

"Sell the statuary, and the furniture, and turn it into a wineshop?"

"I don't know a THING about running a shop."

"It's just like running your wine sales, but with a more direct line to the customers."

"Why don't you sell it?"

"That would simply lead to some OTHER tribalist noble buying it," Uncle Cabochon observed.  "I don't want that."

"Why don't you make it into an Earth Pony and Pegasi orphanage?  That would drive Pave up the wall," I suggested gleefully. 

"Not zoned for such, unfortunately." 

"Fewmits." 

"Do you think Champagne would want it?" 

"Mom's happier in Seaside, with Dad," I replied.

"I think I WILL give it to you, after a lot of extensive remodeling," Cabochon said thoughtfully.  "You'll have a nice place to stay when you're in Canterlot, with plenty of room for all your friends, too. Also, you'd be able to lend it to your friends, so they won't have to stay in the inns, here.  Have you seen the prices they charge?"

"The Dew Drop Inn is reasonable," I told him.

"Yes, yes, and the restaurant has those delightful wheatgrass smoothies, but having your whole crew, here, during Hearths Warming would not be cheap, and I'd love to have you all visit during the holidays."

"All right, Uncle, you've twisted my foreleg," I said finally. 

"Fantastic!" he cheered, happy to have won.  Still, it was going to be a long road ahead.  And without the looming shadow of Pave Diamond, it was sure to be much more bearable.
_______________________________________________________
Perspective: Private

We arrived back at the vineyard just as Luna's moon reached it's zenith. Twilight and I stood in front of the farmhouse as Grapes came out with a large basket filled with wine bottles.

"Grapes," Twilight said, eyeing it, "what's all this?"

"We're celebrating," Grapes said, with a grin.  "I've brought out some of the finest wines from my personal collection.  Even got a bottle of Summer Sunrise."

"Well," I said with a smile, "I did say I wanted to sample some of that!" I looked up as the other Storm Riders were starting the celebration off to the side. Queenie and Dusty were dancing with each other to the music, provided by Applejack.

We soon joined in and I found myself sitting at a picnic bench across from Applejack. I explained all that had happened and she smiled and said, "Ya went and did a good thing again, Private. Maybe Ah was a little harsh the other day." 

I smiled and said, "I'll just be more careful with Luca's whereabouts from now on.”

“That don’t mean Ah’m just gonna let that mutt of yers deflower Winona anytime soon,” Applejack said, retaining her infamous stubborn nature. 

I looked up as Grapes walked to me holding a glass of wine aloft in her magic. "Here you go, Private.  Summer Sunrise, Princess Celestia's favorite wine," Grapes said.

"Thanks," I replied, taking the wine glass in my own magic. "Let me see how it compares to Potso's." I took a sip of the wine, savoring the flavor.  A slow smile came to my face and I gushed, "Wow, It's no wonder the Princess loves this stuff!" The wine tasted absolutely great. I haven't had such delicious wine since Potso’s family reunion. I knew what I would be buying from now on.

"I've had to start growing watermelon for it, but I think it turned out very well," Grapes said with a smile.  "I have some other vintages, too, like my Gala wines, and even a bottle of the most expensive wine in Equestria... It costs so much because the grapes are a bloody hassle to grow."

"That's why Ah stick tah apples thank ya" Applejack said with a smirk. "Bah the way, ya ever tried usin' crystal berries in your new wine? Ah had some back in the Crystal Empire.  Ah think it'll give a nice twist to yer broccoli wine"

I wrinkled my nose in disgust and asked, "She made broccoli wine?"

"Eeyup" Applejack said with a smirk.

"She was the one who bet me that I couldn't do it.  Only wine that absolutely has to have cheese to taste good.  It's not something I make often...  Actually I've only made two batches.  One for the initial wager, and the other was after it became a fad.  You see I sold the first batch to Princess Celestia, who gave it to Blueballs for a birthday present."

"Well so long as you don't make Pineapple wine, I'll keep coming for some." 

Applejack looked at me curiously and asked, "What ya have against Pineapples?" 

I frowned and replied, "They are plants with spikes on them. Clearly they don't want to be eaten, so why should we go against their wishes?" 

Applejack laughed and asked, "And how many times did that work on yer parents when they wanted ya to eat them?" 

"Twice," I admitted.

"Er... Already done, actually," Grapes said sheepishly.  "On the up side it makes fantastic Pina Coladas."

Applejack laughed a little and then looked at the center of the party, and then at Grapes "Uh cuz, ya did keep track of all the bottles ya gave out right?"

"Not really.  It's not like I'm going to ever run short on wine," Grapes replied.  "Why do you ask?"

"Cuz Twilight got a hold of one," she replied pointing. I looked on as Twilight climbed up on a table, a wine glass in her hoof and the bottle it came from was already half empty.

"Oh great flaming fewmits," Grapes said with dread. 

"You said it," I groaned, as I walked towards where Twilight was.

"I jush wan' to let you all know, that thish has been wonderful," Twilight was saying in a hilariously pompous tone.  "And thish stuff ish fantashtic.  I don' know how Grapsh does it..."

Oh no, Twilight was drunk. This, is not good. I facehoofed as some of the guests laughed at her slurred speech.

"She's always been a bit of a lightweight," Grapes observed.

"Oh, hey, there, hanshom!" Twilight gleefully said, spotting me. Her violet eyes a little wobbly. "Come to shay hello, or something more?"  There were hoots in the small crowd.

"Get 'er, Twilight!" Firestormer yelled laughing.

"Go Twi!" Dusty added, to Queenie's amusement.

I blushed a little and walked to Twilight, levitating away the bottle. "I think you've had enough, Twilight," I said gently.
Twilight giggled, and wrapped her forelegs around my neck.

"We could go home, an'… do things." she whispered loudly enough for all the nearby ponies to hear.

I blushed even redder as the crowd cheered at Twilight's apparent boldness. I looked over at Grapes and begged, "Uh, a little help here…"

What do you want me to do?" Grapes asked, trotting over.  "I usually just put her to bed, and let her sleep it off...  This is the first time she's had a coltfriend."

"Just uh, get her off me first of all" I said, as Twilight began nuzzling me even more.

"Okay, Twi, come on," Grapes said, trying to levitate Twilight off me.

"Nuuuuuhhh uhhhh," Twilight uttered, clinging to me.  "I don' wanna leave him!"

"She's surprisingly strong," Grapes observed, still trying to be gentle.

"Twi please," I said, looking at her as she clung to me. "You gotta get off me, you're hurting me" I said, gasping for air as Twilight's grip tightened around my neck.

"Oh!  I'm shorry!" Twi uttered, freeing me, allowing Grapes to levitate her away.

"Okay.  Time for you to go and sleep it off, Twilight," Grapes said resigned, as she moved herself and Twilight towards the farmhouse.

I smiled and turned around, suddenly I heard a crack in the air and Twilight materialized on my back. She wrapped her forelegs around my neck and nuzzled into my mane.

"How in tha?" Grapes uttered.  "Twilight, you KNOW better than to teleport when drunk off your flank!"

"Twi.." I said as Applejack laughed. 

"That's right, Twi! Ride em cowgirl!" she shouted. “Yee Haw!”

I looked back at Twilight who was starting to kiss the back of my neck in a way that made me feel very warm. Twilight, who knew she could be like this? I said to her "Twi, you really should head to bed..."

"I don' wanna.  Wanna be with you," she whined, nibbling my ear. 

"Oh boy..." Grapes muttered.  "She's never been like this, before."

Applejack chuckled and said, "That's cuz she ain't had a sweetheart like Private in her life." She walked to Twilight and said, "Listen Sugarcube, Ah'm sure yer coltfriend just wants tah take ya home. So would ya let him already?"

"Ooooh," Twilight said with a grin.  "I get it!  Okay, we can go home."

"Right," Applejack said with a big grin, and then she smacked my flank. "Ride em home, silver!" 

I glared at Applejack and said, "Excuse me?"

She just laughed and replied, "Sorry, couldn't resist."

I began the walk home with Twilight on my back. I'll admit it felt, nice that she was thinking about me this way. However, I knew she wasn't thinking straight. The wine just got to her. Much as I wanted her, I didn't want to take advantage of her in this state. I hope she'll understand...
______________________________________________________
Perspective: Sour Grapes

Well, I have to admit, drunken Twilight is hilarious.  I sat there, watching them go, as I sipped my wine.

"Grapes?" Stormy asked, sitting beside me.

"Hey," I said, nuzzling his neck.

"Are you all right?" he asked, sounding concerned.

"I'm better, now.  I don't have to worry about Pave, ever again, and I'm still a free pony," I said leaning against him.

"I meant..."

"I know.  I'm going to be taking better care of myself.  Just got a little too stressed with the bumper crop," I said, kissing his neck.  "I've had this for a while, now, you know.  This was the first flare-up."

"Yeah, but you mean a lot to me," Stormy said, causing me to smile.

"I know," I replied.  "You mean a lot to me, too. When the season's over, what say we go on a vacation to Maneland?  Just the two of us?" 

Stormy blushed, ducking his head sheepishly, and replied, "I'd like that a lot, Grapes."  So would I, to be honest.  It'd be nice to have my Stormy all to myself.

"Well, looks like they're headed home," Stormy said. As he saw Private leaving with Twilight on his back.

"Well, good.  Twilight's awfully feisty when she's drunk," I observed.  "Hope Private can handle her."  Stormy chortled.

"Glad today's over," Stormy said, nuzzling me.  "It's been wild, here, for the past few."

"I hear you," I commented.  "Glad to get things back to normal, or what passes for normal in Ponyville."

"I like normal," Stormy said with a grin, and kissed me. "Especially since you're here."  

I sighed happily, leaning against him.  My first friend became my coltfriend... and lead to me having more friends than I ever expected.  Sitting there, snuggled with Stormy, not a bad way to end a crazy couple of days.

I just hoped Private could handle Twilight when she's drunk.  I'd never seen her quite so amorous before, to be honest.  Eh, he's a big strong stallion.  Surely he could handle it.
______________________________________________________
Perspective: Private

I'm really starting to wonder if I could handle it. When we arrived at the library I came inside to find it deserted. Spike was sleeping over at Rarity's. She needed his help filling a large order with Gala season rearing it's ugly head.

I walked up to Twilight's room as Twilight began kissing the back of my neck again. "Twi, I'm gonna put you to bed now."

“Could join me, if you like," Twilight said in as sultry a tone she could muster.

Normally I would record this and use it as blackmail material for later. However, it had been a long day and night and Twilight needed to be put to bed. I walked to her bed, lifted the covers and set her gently with my magic onto it.

"Don't wanna join?" Twilight asked, as she leaned her head on one hoof. 

"No Twilight, I don't think that's such a good idea," I replied, as I turned to begin walking away. Suddenly I felt a tug at my tail and looked back to see Twilight was doing it with her magic. Her eyes looked like they were pleading with me.

"Don' have to,” she paused, “do anything. Just stay with me, please."

I couldn't leave her like this. She just wanted me with her. This was weird, I had no idea Twilight could be like this. Then again, she did get into the wine a little too much. I sighed, relenting, and laid down on the bed. "Twi, I'll stay tonight. Tailspin's probably asleep by now anyway."

Twilight smiled, wrapping me up in a hug.

I laid there with Twilight for a while. She was nuzzling me warmly and showed no signs of wanting to go to sleep. I smiled and gently nuzzled her back. But then Twilight reached a hoof and put it on my chest fur. 

Wait, when did my trench coat open?

"Brave, handsome Private," Twilight murmured.  "I should be as brave as you."

: "T-Twi," I stammered "What are you- oh Luna..."

"Could you show me?" she asked.

"Show you what?" I asked, sweating now as part of me knew what she wanted.

"How to be brave," she whispered, leaning close, and kissing my neck again.

I blushed again and gently pushed on her chest. "Twi, this isn't a good idea," I said, with regret.

"Why not?" she pleaded, her violet eyes gazing at me. 

"You aren't thinking straight," I said firmly. "I don't want to do anything rash that we'll both regret later."

"Oh, of course, who would want the bookworm," Twilight said rolling over.  "No one, that's who..."

"Twi," I said, looking at her in confusion. "Did I say something wrong? I..."

"You don't want me, and who can blame you," she said sadly.

I just stared at her, just took in what she was saying. I reached over a hoof and wrapped it around her. Then... I started tickling her belly.

Twilight’s face tried not to smile. But slowly her giggles became louder as she cried “Private! Hehehe! Stop, no, hehe!! Private, you, hehehehehe!!”

“I love you, Twilight,” I said with a smile, as my tickling relented. “I do want you, but I wanna do it when we both have clear heads. I want our first time together to be special.” I nuzzled her gently and asked, "Can you wait until then?” 

She smiled a little hazily and kissed me on the cheek, licking it a little. “Don’t keep me waiting too long…Preventus…” she said then yawned widely. “Sleepy…” 

I placed my horn on hers and used an anesthetic spell to put her the rest of the way to sleep. Her head fell on a pillow and she mumbled in her sleep. I levitated a bucket over for the morning results and set it next to the bed. I then got up and pulled the covers over her. I laid a kiss on her head and said, “Good night, Twi.” 

“Preventus,” she mumbled with a smile, “I love you so much…” 

“I love you too,” I said, as I walked out. “Never forget that.” 

I closed the door behind me and sighed. Glad that was over with, I reached into my trench coat and pulled out Pave’s magic enhancer syringe. I'd convinced Frisk and Dunnit to let me borrow it for the night. I wanted to know who was the friend who provided her with it. 

As I read the label and my eyes grew wide, this stuff was made ten years ago, and distributed three years ago, 

By none other than Glimmer….