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// I don't like apples, Tia! 
// Story: Little loony Luna and crazy caffeinated Celestia's life in Canterlot 
// by Vidhwansak 
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I don't like apples, Tia!




Luna stared at the monstrosity that was in front of her; this was worse than Tirek, worse then Discord, to heck with it all, this was even worse than her sister's morning breath, and that was really, really bad. Said monstrosity was on her plate, and her sister was looking across from her, patiently waiting for her to eat it, of all things. Torture had never looked so innocent, and it made Luna sick to her stomach merely by looking at it; she couldn't think of what would happen to her if she actually ate it. Her sister spoke up quietly, with a slight frown on her face.

"They aren't going to eat themselves, Lulu."

"We...I wish they were able to, Tia, for I will not eat them!" 

"Do you still harbor feelings of resentment towards ap-"

"SAY NOT THE NAME, SAY NOT THE NAME, BY FAUST'S HOLY-"

"...ples." Her sister gasped mid rant, and glared at her sister with the intensity and coldness of a thousand moons, which was to say, quite an icy glare. Celestia nervously chuckled, and wondered just how much time she had left in this world before Luna banished her to the sun; at least it was warmer than the stare Luna was giving her now.

"Now now, Luna, it's the only thing you haven't eaten..."

"And I will not eat them, to tartarus they should go!"

"...But the chefs prepared this dish with great care, and it was made especially for you!"

"Especially?  Especially? Are you trying to hire chefs with the goal in mind to poison us...me?!"

"Luna, for Faust's sake, just look at them and tell me that there's something wrong with them, because I can't!"

"There's plenty enough wrong with them, your eyes are simply betraying you!"

"There is nothing wrong with sliced, crisp apples! Look at the plate again and tell me what's wrong with it!"

Grumbling, Luna stuck her tongue out at her sister before looking down at the abomination that she swore that she would never eat again as long as she lived; they were sliced perfectly, had a slight glean due to the light from a chandelier from up above lighting up its surface, and if one had a good enough eye, could see the little sprinkles of cinnamon that graced upon its surface, as well as a caramel dipping sauce that complimented the whole dish, if one could call it that. It might have looked very appealing to any other pony, but to Luna, it was an unclean substance that must be purged in a complicated ritual, thrown off a mountain, purged again in another ritual, and then sent to the sun to burn, after which any remains would be thrown into a black hole to rot for an eternity, in which she would then destroy said black hole..

"...They are...Nnngh...App-les, Tia." It took much effort on her part to say the dreaded word, and she hoped that Celestia would buy her explanation, but unfortunately, all Celestia did was facehoof in despair.

"Yes, Lulu, they are apples; they look quite delicious, as well."

"Only because you and every other pony are sadistic enough to enjoy inflicting pain on yourselves with such a disgusting 'food' item! By Faust, how could you even look at these things, never mind eating them?!" 

"Well, they're sweet..."

"A ruse, a concealment, deceiving you to their true nature!" 

"...Crunchy..."

"That is not what a fruit should be like!"

"...It comes in all shapes and sizes?"

"There are too many of these abominations and I intend to eradicate them all!"

Celestia sighed, and stood up from her chair; Luna followed suit, and both sisters stared at each other first, each daring each other to make the first move. As it was, Celestia made her move first, a faint smirk on her lips.

"We shall have a guest here shortly; I knew you would have this problem, even after all these years, so I called in an expert to help you get over your fear of apples."

"Oh, please, I do not fear apples, I merely hate them, and sister, I doubt as if anypony could convince me to eat those things you call food. I am like an iron wall, unwilling to break!"

"You'd be surprised, the expert I called in was more than willing to show you just how good apples can be, and she can be very forceful when she needs to be; she's also one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony."

"Is that so? Well, who is this so called 'expert' that you think can convince me to eat these?"

"Her name is Applejack."

"A-Ap...App..." Luna couldn't form a word after hearing what the pony's name was; ponies named themselves after the spawn of Discord?! This was an outrage and a truly terrible thing to befall on anypony! She would not wish such a curse upon anypony! Celestia's smirk only grew wider, into a very big grin that Luna only knew all too well, and she was afraid at what she was going to say next.

"The best part is? Most of her family is named after apples as well."

THUNK. The sound of Luna fainting and hitting the floor caused Celestia to giggle softly before ringing a bell three times. As soon as the third ring was heard, the room was full of servants, and most of their eyes were trained on Celestia; a few of the younger servants stared at Luna's body before snapping their gaze up to Celestia, who spoke with barely contained mirth in her voice.

"Revive Luna; I believe that the smell of apples does the trick; be sure to use lots of it!"

Afterwards, Luna formed an anti-apple group that wanted to destroy all the apples in Equestria, only to meet heavy opposition from Celestia and apple farmers across Equestria; later, the group would be locked in a struggle against Celestia's own group that wished to inflict harm upon the banana plantations, and they are still fighting to this day.