All of the candles that had been lit extinguished, the sunlight from outside my windows dimmed, and I was overtaken by convulsions. The muscles in my chest twitched as my legs began to spasm uncontrollably. My eyes rolled up into my head and I could no longer see the world around me.
I felt myself lifted higher, my forelegs drawn out to my sides, my hind legs stretched towards the floor. My chest was pushed forward as my head and wings were pulled back. I began to find it hard to breath. It felt as though an invisible hoof were held over my mouth and nose to prevent my respiration. My body seized repeatedly in an attempt to inhale precious oxygen.
I felt lightheaded, my chest burned agony. The twitching began to subside into an uneasy calm. My muscles ached and nausea overwhelmed me. I felt on the verge of passing out. It was in that moment that the invisible hoof relented. I gasped, inhaling breath after wonderful breath. My eyes corrected, and a blackness that had engulfed my vision had begun to recede.
But to my horror I realized I was no longer in the Ponyville library. Instead, I was in that accursed wasteland, surrounded by screams of terror and lamentation. My head was released, and it lolled to my chest, muscles too weak to hold itself up. Beneath me still glowed the glyphs I had drawn out that morning, but instead of being illuminated by the purple essence of my magic, it glowed an ominous red.
They somehow seemed so much more treacherous now than they had upon the pages of the book of ancient magics.
***
I remember ascending the stairs of the palace with great trepidation on that first day, so long ago. My parents had to push me forward more than once, for on occasion my nervousness would render me paralyzed. As we reached the crest of the stairs, Princess Celestia greeted us warmly. My parents hugged me tightly and wished me their goodbyes - as Shining Armor had done at our home earlier - for they wouldn't see me again until the summer months.
That day I was to be given a taste of what my time at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns would entail. Normally, students and parents were granted a tour of the school and were allowed to meet with the teachers before prospective students took the entrance exams. My parents had not bothered, both had graduated from that prestigious school valedictorian years before Shining and I were conceived.
I, on the other hand, knew not what was in store for me. Cadence, a student of the school herself, was tasked with giving me a private tour and providing me with introductions to the teachers. This was all while my parents went to discuss my past education and future curriculum with the princess privately.
I knew that my parents would want to discuss their concerns about my recent behavior. They had been aghast at my sudden refusal to spend time with ponies my own age, at how engrossed I had become in my studies. My father even had to institute a 'study curfew' and would force me to do other things, like play.
Even during these compulsory play times I insisted on puzzles, mind teasers, or playing the 'magic games' that Cadence had taught me. Anything that could train my mind, anything that would give me an edge over the creature from the void.
My parents began to cancel their trips, hoping that more time with the family would push me out of my shell, but nothing seemed to pull me from my self-imposed solitary confinement of mental training.
And nothing stopped me from seeing the demon's influence around every corner.
I hung on every word that Cadence uttered on that tour, I wanted to commit everything to memory - and I must say that by then I had become quite accomplished at memorization. Everything from the names of the teachers and their curriculum to a map of the school. Anything that could possibly have given me the advantage.
My concentration and composure were finally broken as we entered the Royal Canterlot Library, admission of which was only allowed to the students and faculty of Celestia's school. Everypony else was only allowed entrance after rigorous bureaucratic procedure.
This building was to become my safe haven during my time under Celestia's direct tutelage.
It was over an hour before Cadence could convinced me to leave. I was in awe. My parents had an extensive collection of books regarding magical subjects, true. My mother even had a second edition collection of Princess Platinum's Magic Every Proper Mare Should Know, the first edition being held at a private museum where only ponies with white gloves and muzzle-masks could touch it.
But this library had amassed almost every book published in Equestria. With a wink, Cadence even mentioned that it held some volumes from the Griffin Kingdoms and the Zebra lands.
As we headed towards the exit I noticed a small hall towards the back, leading off to two doors adjacent to one another. Not only were the rooms barred by wrought-iron gates fastened shut with daunting padlocks, they were also obscured by shielding and see-me-not spells. I could only attribute my ability to perceive these rooms to my innate magical abilities, it would have been too horrifying to believe that powers beyond my comprehension were guiding me towards certain aspects of my destiny.
Cadence, what are in those doors?
What doo... those doors? You can see those? I nodded.
Well, those rooms lead to wings of the library that are withheld from the general population of students. Only faculty and those with express permission from Celestia can go in there.
Why?
Cadence had huffed a little in frustration, but answered me after a moment. Well, I suppose there is no harm in telling you. You see the door on the right? That door leads to the Draconian Archives. Every ounce of knowledge pony kind has discovered about dragons is held in that wing.
She leaned down with an impish grin on her face, They say they even have a few scrolls of Draconian Magic.
I gasped, wide-eyed. I had never known that dragons had magic, which led to a fresh stream of questions. Cadence admitted to not knowing much, having never stepped hoof in that wing. By the time we reached the next stage of the tour, I had wrung from her mind every ounce of knowledge she knew about dragons.
She had also successfully distracted me from what lay behind that second door.
***
Cadence dropped me off at the room that was going to be my home during my time at the school. My parents had grudgingly approved this. Being Celestia's private student would differentiate my schedule from any other colt or filly, and there might be times when I needed a private area to practice unseen from the other students. My parents thought it would have been more healthy for me to spend more time around students my age, but even they couldn't deny the necessity of expediency.
As I explored my room I found that it was actually a suite made up of four rooms: the living quarters, sleeping quarters, bathroom, and... nursery. I was astonished at the need for the private quarters of a five-year-old filly needing a nursery, but as I approached the crib I saw inside the familiar purple scales of the baby dragon I had helped hatch during my entrance exams. In the crib made of granite the little creature was awake and rolling around emitting soft, squeaking chirps as it played with what I hoped was a fire-resistant doll.
I couldn't help but smile a little as the creature did an odd little wiggle-crawl around the bottom of the crib, as it was not strong enough to push itself up on all fours. The thing then rolled over on its back to play with the mobile hanging above it when it took notice of me. It stared at me intently, wide eyed and open mouthed. At first this left me somewhat uncomfortable, not knowing one iota how to do anything with a foal, let alone this freshly-hatched reptile. It wasn't long, however, before I started making faces and tickling it, much to its delight. It's laughter rang clearly throughout the nursery. It wasn't long after that giggles of my own echoed through the room.
I reached out to tickle the baby dragon once more, but before I could begin it reached out a tiny claw and grasped my hoof firmly. I stared in shock at the little claw - so small and delicate yet somehow strong. It didn't just grasp my hoof... at the same time, the fragile creature somehow reached out and touched my heart. It melted through layers of ice that had formed over my heart through the preceding months.
I gasped and pulled my hoof away. No... No I couldn't let it happen. I couldn't let myself grow fond of the innocent creature lying in that crib. I couldn't let it be at the mercy of that... that thing from my nightmares.
The little dragon began to wail as I retreated to a corner of the room, shaking violently. Mere minutes later Princess Celestia entered the nursery, seeing the dragon bawling and me sitting in the corner, curled in upon myself, rocking back and forth whispering Nonononononono…
She took in the situation with such calm I had wondered if she realized anything was amiss. Before she approached me, she first sidled up next to the dragon's crib, lifted him up with her magic and rocked him gently. She sang to it in a dialect that I did not understand, but could venture a guess that it was Draconian in nature.
It's absurd, how so brash and brutal a society such as the dragons could have such a beautiful language.
Even though I did not understand the words, I felt myself relaxing. The tears that had been flowing down my cheeks began to subside, my quivering abated, and I stopped my incessant mumblings to listen.
By the time the final words crossed Celestia's lips the baby dragon had quieted and sunk into sleep. She carefully lowered it back into its crib, gently pulled the sheets to its chin, and turned to me.
I... I didn't mean to make him cry! I stammered He just startled me! And I startled him and I just didn't know what to do…
She smiled at me sweetly, Hush, little Sparkle, I understand.
She reached me after a few short strides of her long and graceful legs, and lay down next to me. She reached out with one of her wings and wrapped it around me It's alright, little Sparkle, you are safe here. There is no need to be afraid.
It was hard for me to stay afraid with such a powerful mare so near to me, promising to protect me, but every time I started to relax images of that terrible countenance flashed before my mind's eye.
***
Classes began shortly after that day. I must say that magic kindergarten was absolutely horrid. I dreaded those classes, I would often attempt to feign sickness to keep from going. Cadence (who had been relegated with the task of taking me to my morning classes) could always see past my pretenses, and pushed me to go anyways.
The other students had heard that Celestia had taken me on as her private pupil, that I had shown extremely powerful magic at my entrance exams. Whether the resulting ridicule was out of jealousy or something else, I would never know. But after the first day I moved from the front row of the class to the back to avoid the onslaught of spit wads and refused to raise my hoof to avoid the torment the other students would dole out during breaks.
But all of it was made worth it when Celestia picked me from class and would walk me back to my room. That first year, throughout the entirety of magic kindergarten, Celestia refused to teach me magic. Instead, my private lessons consisted of learning how to take care of the baby dragon, Spike.
My entering the first grade was contingent upon my ability to take care of him by myself. Celestia warned that if I could not accomplish this, she would hold me back.
Even without nightmares I was constantly exhausted, between my studies and taking care of the baby dragon who would cry at any hour of the night. I began to feel the urge to concede defeat. Nothing was working out the way I had planned. I was no closer to learning a way to rid myself of the vile monster from my nightmares than the day I had summoned it.
One day, when Celestia had chastised me for not preparing enough food for the young dragon I burst into tears, overcome.
Why is it so important that I learn to take care of Spike all by myself? I'm only five years old! Why is he so important? What about ME?! I had screamed
Celestia gaped at me for a moment, then chuckled Oh Twilight, I sometimes forget how young and impatient you are. Come, dry your tears and I will explain everything.
It was an appealing notion to stay angry, to tantrum like the filly I was and demand an explanation right then, but her tranquility got the better of me. It as if it emanated from her very being, infecting those around her. I involuntarily calmed, and took my place by her side. She wrapped that warm, soft wing around me as she so often had since I arrived when I felt scared or lonely.
You see, Twilight, this young, seemingly inconsequential dragon's destiny is irrevocably intertwined with yours. Ever since that day you hatched him from his egg I could somehow sense that the two of you would bring about some great change to pony and dragon-kind alike. You two are going to need each other, just as you need your family and your family needs you. It may not make much sense now, but it will someday. And I promise you, Twilight, that if you can learn to love and care for this dragon, you will be able to master your magic in such a way you never thought possible.
I looked up at the Princess, unable to fully comprehend what she said, but understanding that it was important, somehow.
But, Mom, I…
My eyes widened in shock. I was mortified. In that one moment I had mistakenly called my teacher my mother, and revealed to myself what she meant to me. She really had become like a second mother to me, even in such a short span of time.
I flew out from under her wings Nonononono! This can't be happening, I can't…
Twilight, it's okay, calm…
DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN. I CAN'T CARE ABOUT YOU! I CAN'T CARE ABOUT SPIKE! I'LL PUT ALL OF YOU IN DANGER.
I began to panic, my breathing coming in short, solid bursts, I began to shake and ramble continuously. I felt as if the creature stood behind me, ready to pounce on the Princess or Spike. I could almost feel his breath on my back, the stench of bile and rotting flesh surrounding me.
I felt his cloven hooves on my shoulders, somehow feeding my paranoia. I was terrified, not just from the paranoia, but by how good it felt. I saw a reflection of myself in the mirror behind Celestia, my eyes were glowing with a mix of green and red, it was great and terrifying all at once.
I screamed at Celestia in a voice that wasn't quite my own EVERYTHING YOU LOVE WILL DIE, WITCH!
It was then I realized that Celestia stood in front of me, I hadn't seen her move. She took my hooves in hers and an orb of golden light glowed around us. The awareness of the creature faded and I began to feel myself again. Tears began to flow again... what was happening to me?
Shhhhhh... Twilight. I know of the creature that haunts you. Tell me, now, how did you become entangled with such a creature?
I hadn't told anypony about what happened that night in the study. Not my parents, not Cadence, not even Shining Armor. But in that moment I was broken, and it came out in a rush. Everything. The book, the creature, the nightmares, even my inability to recall for sure what actually happened that night.
Celestia listened calmly, without interruption. She didn't laugh and say that it was imagined or all a dream, as I worried. Nor did she condescend me for dabbling in such dark magics, and banish me from the school, as I had feared. Instead she hugged me close and taught me my first spell.
It was the same shield spell she had used to banish the essence of the monster. I had it mastered within the hour. She then resumed teaching me how to take care of Spike, as though nothing had happened, except for the fact that was much more lenient and understanding.
That night, as I lay in my bed, I found it hard to sleep. The nightlight cast eerie shadows upon the wall, and the moon gave the tree outside my window an ominous silhouette. Feeling that dark taint in my heart... digging through those dark memories made everything seem touched by evil.
I heard Spike begin to make muffled sobs from the nursery. I sighed, thankful that I hadn't fallen asleep yet, and slowly marched to the door of the nursery. As I pushed the door the rest of the way open, time suddenly slowed. No, it stood still. I was suddenly glued in place, horrified at what I saw.
The moon cast light upon cloven hooves, and in the darkness I could barely see the outline of two horns. He was standing with his forelegs on the crib, watching the baby dragon intently.
Yesssssss, yes he will make a fine addition. I've never had a dragon before. You have excellent taste, Twilight Sparkle.
My previously incapacitated legs suddenly began to work again. Compelled into action, for the first time in my life I ran towards the creature instead of away.
NO! You cannot have him!
I jumped into the crib, crouched over Spike protectively, as I pushed the protective spell from my heart to my horn, from my horn to around the crib, the room, the suite.
As the creature was pushed out I heard him whisper in my head You can't keep me away forever, little pony... I am inside you.
I pushed the words away, choosing now to ignore them. Rather than go back to my own bed, I curled up next to my little baby dragon, kissed him on the forehead, and went to sleep, protective shield hovering as a nightlight around us.
***
Past that night, things seemed to get better... for a time. After facing my inner demons, attending magic kindergarten didn't seem like such an unbearable experience. I moved back to the front of the class, using my shield spell to intercept the impending spitballs. I started raising my hooves and asking questions, deaf to the taunts from the other students.
After that night I no longer questioned why it was necessary for me to take care of and protect Spike, it simply was. As he started to grow older and capable he would try to help me, and even when he was a hindrance more than help I couldn't help but be touched by his sincerity. He quickly became my number one assistant.
As I grew older the memories of my foalhood began to fade. My nightmares relegated to childhood fears and insecurities. I forgot about that night in the nursery as it was, and thought I was protecting him from the boogeymares as my parents had protected me.
The habits, however, remained. I would read on a daily basis, and study anything I could get my hooves on. I would practice my magic and it grew readily in strength and confidence. I still refused to make any friends - it seemed so... useless - though I did have a few good acquaintances.
Every once and a while I thought I caught the stench of something foul as I would complete a particularly complicated and involved casting of magic, but I always explained it away as a blocked drain, the sewers, some poor pony's flatulence.
Neither did Celestia bring up that creature again. In some ways I wondered if she wanted me to forget that demonic presence for a time. Why? I have always remained unsure. Her motives have always remained concealed from me, even as her most faithful student. But you know how it goes with a disease that you do not fully flush from your system. It will lay dormant in your very cells, waiting until a moment of weakness to flare up even more powerfully than before.
***
I wandered around the Canterlot library, looking for a bit of light reading for during my break. By this time I had read most of the books that the library contained, but always hoped to uncover something new, something different.
A foul odor originating from I know not where surrounded me. I attempted to hold my breath as I fled that section from the library, but no matter how far I went the smell seemed to follow.
Upon entering the fictional section of the library the smell slowly receded. I took a deep breath that doubled as a sigh of relief. I shook myself for a moment, hoping the foul stench hadn't been absorbed by my coat.
Thunk!
I jumped at the noise and listened to the whistle of pages turning. I peeked my head around the shelf of books closest to me and saw a book lying on the floor, knocked from the shelf by some unseen perpetrator then blown open by an unfelt wind. I shivered a little bit, telling myself that it must have been the same breeze that turned the pages and not the peculiarity of the situation.
Hello? I called out, but received no response.
I reprimanded myself for being so foalish and approached the book, feeling a sudden sense of deja vu.
This left me somewhat apprehensive as I read the title of the short story to which the book had opened. Nightmare Moon and the Elements of Harmony.
I grabbed the book and threw it in my pack, no longer feeling comfortable in the confines of the library, and took it outside to read. As I lay under the shade of the trees by the pond I couldn't help but feel as though a familiar presence was looking at the pages over my shoulder.