Of Vinyl and Belle’s
By
Dj Discharge
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Me and Damian sat there watching the news with our mouths gaping. Apparently we were not the only ones to turn into ponies. “This morning Tara Strong, voice actress for the show ‘My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic’ woke up as none other than the character she voiced for, Twilight Sparkle. We have gotten reports that there are others who have woke up as ponies even a few in the brony community” The news woman said “Tara had this to say when interviewed by reporters ‘I hope that nobody thinks differently of me. Just because I have been turned into a pony does not mean I am different than anybody else other than my appearance’. Tara Strong is currently staying in her home being guarded from the bronies who want to get pictures of her like this and harass her and they are saying that any humans who have been turned into ponies should go to Nashville Tennessee”
I decided now would be a good time to turn the tv off since we had a lot to discuss. I turned to Damian “Well what now? I’ve been turned into Vinyl Scratch and you into Sweetie Belle”
“Well I don’t know I mean we could go to Nashville like they said and see what happens” Damian said shrugging
I thought about it for a moment “How we gonna get there though? We can’t exactly drive car like this”
“Well John we have one of two choices we can either walk all the way there or we can try and hitch hike and hope that we don’t get in the car with a crazy person” Damian said in a tone of utmost seriousness
“Not much of a choice there” I say as I roll my eyes. I start to make a list of what we should take with us. “We will need money, food and water for the trip...maybe some sort of camping gear for shelter at night. Anything else?”
“Umm I think I have an old tent in my closet and money we need money but wouldn’t it be easy just to stay in a hotel at night?”
“Dude do you realise how much it would cost us to stay at a hotel EVERY night?” I answer.
“Do you realise I HAVE a credit card AND some extra cash from my job along with a bit from my college fund so I think we can do it” Damian said with a grin
“Fine I guess I have some cash i can throw in too but we should keep about one hundred in cash on each of us in case of emergencies only” I said and Damian raised his hoof up “What is it?”
“Do hookers count as emergencies?” Damian asked
“No dude...just no” I say as I glare at him but once again the phone rang and my bitch radar started to go off. “Three guesses who that is dude”
“I’m scared to answer it” Damian said “Can you answer?”
“No way it’s your turn this time!” I say as I head into the kitchen to make some breakfast
“But I can’t you are older now so you do it”
“Well unless you want food you're gonna have to answer it” I tell him as I open the fridge
Damian grinned “I’m not hungry”
I look out the kitchen doorway at Damian with a sceptical look on my face “You're not hungry? Has hell frozen over?” Damian shook his head as the phone kept ringing.“Well I guess you don’t want these waffles then” I say with a triumphant grin
Damian shook his head “I can’t reach the phone so just suck it up and answer it.”
“Have I ever told you I hate you?” I grumble as I walk over to the phone.
“Plenty of times.” Damian said
I pick up the phone to a very pissed off lady. “IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU ANSWERED THE PHONE!” I think she broke my bitch radar. I looked next to the phone where I kept the bitch radar and indeed it was shattered.
“You know you're gonna destroy your voice and my eardrums if you keep yelling like that right?” I say.
“I don’t care you hussy! Just put my damn son on the phone! I am getting tired of seeing all those damn horses on the news! now get him on the phone or so help me I will come down there and slap you so hard that your kids will feel it!”
I wince at the reference to kids seeing as I’m no longer male. I cover the mouthpiece with a hoof and look at Damian “got any suggestions? Because no matter what we do I think she is gonna end up at our door”.Damian was holding back his laughter and shrugged “Sorry but he left for Vegas after he went to the convenience store and he won’t be back for a few days”
“You better get him on the pho-” and with that I hung up on her because she was really getting on my last nerve. I turn to Damian with a serious expression
“I’d say we have about half an hour before she breaks down our door”
“So pack our shit and get out?” Damian asked I nodded “Now SCATTER AND GRAB MY WALLET A MESSENGER BAG AND THE KEYS!” Damian shouted
“Fine you grab the water Cellphones and a laptop!” I yelled back “And the clean laptop! you know what I will just grab that you just sit down”
“What you don’t trust me?” Damian asked
“Not one bit” I said running around packing all the necessities. After I had gathered everything I grabbed the keys in my mouth and they tasted horrid. I saw Damian waiting at the door. Since I figured we did not have time left before his mother got here, I threw him on my back and took off out the door.
After running out of the apartment complex and down the street ways I saw Damian’s mother’s black buick or as I call it the bitch mobile, pass us on the way to the apartment only for it to stop and back up. I have a feeling this will escalate quickly. “You damn horses leave this world!” She said as she threw water on Damian and I.
“What the hell! watch it! You already broke my bitch radar!” I said. I’m starting to wonder if she gives personal lessons to the devil on how to be evil.
“You're the one who I spoke with on the phone! What did you do with my son?!” She asked
“I am your son mom so fuck you!” Damian said as I took off running again. I didn’t want to look back so I yelled at Damian.
“Is she chasing us?!”
Damian shook his head “No she is just sitting there not moving”
♪♫♪♫♪
After about an hour of walking we are passing a Wendy’s when Damian’s stomach growls like a chainsaw on steroids. I look over my shoulder at Damian with wide eyes “What the fuck was that?”
“I didn’t eat this morning sorry I’m hungry!” Damian mumbled, his face pink from embarrassment.
“We are near a Wendy’s now so lets just step in there to eat. Besides I could go for a burger right now” I say. “Not to mention the time to get off my hooves...this body is NOT made for physical activity and carrying you the whole way isn’t easy”
“You have only yourself to blame for that one” Damian said laughing “And you can’t eat meat we are ponies now so you are kinda screwed there .”
“Equine’s are perfectly able to digest meat” I say as I roll my eyes.
“Well not really because if you bothered to check you do not have you canine teeth anymore so it would be nearly impossible to eat meat”
“It’s not that hard but if it bothers you that much I can give up eating meat and give the way of the veggie eater a try”
Damian sighed “Just lets get in there and eat some food I am starving”
I walk up to the door and quickly realize a problem. The restaurant doors are usually pull to open from the outside and I don't have hands anymore. “Shit...” I said punching the door causing it to open a little “Uh that is convenient”. I push the door the rest of the way open and walk into the restaurant before I begin to feel a familiar pressure build. “ I’m gonna use the bathroom dude” I tell Damian as I set him down.
“..Why did you need to tell me that?” Asks Damian
“Because your coming with me since you're just a little filly and as the adult I can’t leave you unattended” I tell him with a smirk.
I saw his eyes widen “No leave me here outside of the bathroom! I am not going on there with you! that is just creepy”
I just roll my eyes “You have a dirty mind do you know that?” I ask and Damian just nods.
♪♫♪♫♪
We had finished our food I ended up eating one of those veggie burgers. It tasted pretty good...if by good you meant it tasted like someone put cardboard on a bun with condiments. Damian had a simple salad and about twenty two sodas and before we headed out the door I asked him again “Are you sure you don’t have to use the bathroom? I am not sure when we will pass a rest stop or another restaurant with people this nice” I asked and once again Damian shook his head “I don’t want to hear you whining about needing to use the bathroom while we are walking then”
“Like I said I’ll be fine” Damian said “Now am I walking or are you going to end up carrying me again?”
“You can walk for a bit. If I have to carry you all the time along with our gear I’ll be crippled by the time we get anywhere near Nashville” I said as we started making our long trek to our destination.
As we continue down the street we passed a few kiosk selling different things one selling ties and all of that stuff even saw a few that sold dresses. As we passing one in particular I saw something that made me stop and stare. A pair of shades that looked like an exact copy of the ones Vinyl wears on the show. The old man behind the kiosk spies at what I am staring at “What? Are you interested in those? Take them. They’ve been sitting there for a year and no one has shown interest in buying them. Too big and gaudy for most people.”
I look at the guy “Really? I can have them?”
The old guy shrugs “Sure why not?” he grabs them and hands them to me. “here you go miss”
“I bet” Damian stopped to let out a small yawn “You feel like the luckiest mare in the world right now”
I put on the shades and look at Damian “how do I look?”
“Like a pony with sunglasses that’s how” Damian said as he let out yet another yawn I glares at him through my new shades that I personally liked.
“I meant do i look like Vinyl Scratch” I asked Damian rolled his eyes but agreed. We continued to walk towards the edge of the city when I started to slow down before turning to look at Damian “hey dude?”.
“Yeah what is it?” Damian asked looking up at me
“Well...Should we keep calling each other by our current names or should we come up with new ones since...you know...”I ask.
“Personally I like my name but if you think we should come up with new ones or use the names from the show it is up to you” Damian said with yet another yawn
“I like my name too but when others look at me all they are gonna think is “Hey isn't that Vinyl Scratch?””
“Well lets” He yawned again “Go by those names I guess I can stick with being called Sweetie Belle for a while”
I sigh as I look at Damian no Sweetie Belle “I just hope no one asks me to start playing dubstep on some complicated sound system”
“Could be funny though” another yawn “But lets get going from the looks of it we have a LOT of walking to do”
“Alright” I say as we start walking before glancing at Sweetie Belle and groaning before lifting her on my back.
“Woah what are you doing?” Sweetie asked
“You're practically asleep on your hooves...” I say as I continue walking.
Sweetie yawned again “I guess I could...close...my..eye” she said before drifting off
“This is gonna be a long trip” I say out loud as I pull out my Iphone and put on my headset that I had managed to grab before we left the apartment. I was bobbing my head to the music as I walked down the street.Trying to ignore Sweetie’s snoring.
♪♫♪♫♪
I kept trotting through the path hoping to make it to Hollywood so that way we could at least find a better means of transportation only to hear a high pitched yawn in my ears. “Well it’s about time you woke up dude”
Sweetie just rubbed her eyes “Where are we?” she asked yawning again “And what time is it?”
“On a random path on our way to Hollywood!” I say and then look at my phone “Oh and it’s about 4:15 pm.”
“I’ve been out THAT long?!” Sweetie shouted in my ears “Crap sorry sorry! and your levitating your phone!”
I flatten my ears against my head “Damn it dude between you and your mother I’m gonna be deaf before we ev-” It then registers with me what she said. I stop suddenly and proceed to stare at my phone floating there in a blue aura not even noticing Sweetie squirming on my back
“Ready to walk on your own?”I ask her after I decide not to question how I’m using magic.
“Uh yeah sure I just have one problem” Sweetie said gritting her teeth a little.
“What?”
“I kinda have to” Sweetie began only to start mumbling
“Huh?”
“I kinda have to pee...”Sweetie said her face pink again as she looked down.
I quickly levitate her off my back and point at a nearby bush “well the only place to go is in that bush over there”
“Wh-what?! no way! that is undignified!” Sweetie said.
I shrug “Guess your gonna be holding it in then”
“But I have to go!” Sweetie whined doing what is commonly known with little kids as the potty dance
“Do you see an outhouse anywhere?”
“No but where is the next rest stop?” Sweetie asked.
“Judging by how you're dancing I’d say too far away” I say to her.
“I can hold it until then now lets just keep going” Sweetie said “Can you carry me until then?”
“I’m not carrying you on my back but I guess I can try to levitate you the rest of the way” I tell her as I start to do just that.
“That would only make it worse just put me on your back I like it there” Sweetie said using or attempting the puppy dog eyes
“Nice attempt but no way in hell am I carrying you on my back while you are ready to piss yourself” I deadpan as I continue to walk down the path at brisk pace while levitating her behind me.
As I hurried along the path I could feel a headache beginning to form. Obviously a side effect of levitating the filly behind me. I started to think we might actually make it when I heard a squeal followed by the sound water splashing on dirt. I slow to a stop before slowly turning around to look at Sweetie as she finished.
“Um...hehe...guess I couldn’t hold it” she said with a sheepish grin on her face.I look around a bit before spotting something that could help with the situation.
“Well I guess we will have to clean you off” I said grinning as I levitated her over a shallow pond.
“NO! Don’t you dare!” Sweetie shouted as she squirmed in my magic.
“You wouldn’t be in this position if had just used the bush dude” I said just before I let go of her.
Sweetie shrieked as she fell into the pond with a splash. I was chuckling as i watched her crawl and soon clutching my sides laughing like a maniac as soon as i noticed the lily pad stuck on her horn. As such i was too busy to notice said lily pad headed towards my face before it was too late. I stopped laughing just after it hit me and remained expressionless as it slid down my face and landed on the dirt path. Sweetie of course was laughing hysterically.
I waited till she started to calm down before saying to her with a bit of a grin “are you done?”
“I-I think so...l-lets get going” she replies while trying to catch her breath.
After traveling for about 5 minutes we reach the end of the path and see a small shopping centre across the road. I sigh and think to myself ‘So close and yet so far...’. After a few seconds to check if there were any cars coming we proceeded to cross the road and quickly head for the small restaurant after our stomachs decided to remind us it had been awhile since we last ate.
As we walk into the restaurant I walk up to the cashier’s desk with a bored looking waitress behind it “Hey can we get a table for two?”.
The waitress behind the cash register jumps at the sound of my voice before looking around and frowning before thinking to lean over the counter to look down. I wait as she takes a second process what she is seeing before asking the smartest question she can think up at the time.
“Uh...what?”
My hoof promptly meets my face at the question. “I said can we get a table so we can order some food” I reply as remove my hoof from my now sore face. Facehoof’s hurt...It takes the waitress a second to register the fact that we were customers but she got back to doing her job.
“Oh uh right this way please!” she then lead us to a booth beside the front window and i can’t help but notice a few things along the way. First of all there is a lot more customers here than i originally thought. Second, a small crowd was gathering outside the window. And the third and most important thing...a lot of them were staring at us.
Oh and most of them had some sort of pony paraphernalia in plain view ...that might be a good thing to mention too.
“I’ll be right back to take your orders” the waitress told us as we took our seats.I was hoping we could just get our meals and not have to deal any awkward situations. Too bad the universe didn’t get the memo.
“Your Sweetie Belle and DJ P0N-3!” I wince as i turn to look at the group standing beside our table knowing full well this was gonna go downhill fast. “It’s Vinyl, DJ P0N-3 is a stage name for the pony in the TV show who I share my looks with” I say with a smile thats more of a grimace hoping they would get the message.
“Everyone knows Vinyl Scratch and DJ P0N-3 are the same pony! Nice try though!” says the guy with the bass cannon T-shirt. I just covered my face with my hooves and groaned at his lack of brain cells before being startled by Sweetie yelling.
“Ahhhh! What are you-” the rest of what Sweetie was going to say was cut off as she was having the life squeezed out of her as the culprit squealed.
“She is SO cute!” said the teenaged girl wearing a CMC shirt currently suffocating my friend.I decide we need to bail and made a quick and brilliant escape plan.
“Hey isn’t that Rainbow Dash?!” I shout while pointing out the side window of the restaurant with a hoof. I quickly grab our things, slide out of the booth,and use my magic to yank Sweetie out of the girl’s grasp while they are distracted. The group starts shouting just as i reach front door with Sweetie on my back.
“HEY!”
“Wait!”
“Stop!”
“Bu-” the last shout being cut off as I galloped out the door and past crowd outside the window only now turning to give chase.
I was galloping as fast as I could down the street and was tiring fast since I hadn’t had anything to eat and only short rest stops since wendy’s.
“Run faster Vinyl they’re fucking gaining on us!” yelled Sweetie looking back at the people following us.
“Damn it dude I’m running on fumes here!” I shout back already starting to slow down.
It wasn’t looking good for us when a white sedan pulled up beside us. “Get in!” shouted the man in the driver’s seat as the back door opened. Not having much choice I jump in tossing Sweetie onto the seat next to me as I use my magic to close the door. After a few second’s of me gasping for breath as the car pulls away I turn to the driver “Thanks dude... I thought we were gonners for a moment there”
“Don’t thank me...thank my wife” he said as he continued to watch the road. Just after he said that his wife looked into the back from the passenger seat.I’m pretty sure Sweetie and mine’s jaws were on the floor when we saw her.
“That was a pretty close call huh?” said the lavender unicorn with a dark indigo mane and tail with a pink streak running through them.
I look at Sweetie and say “Dude... I think we just got our asses pulled out of the fire by Tara Strong!”