It was no good. The facility was too destroyed to be of any use to me and those damnable fabricants had made a mess of the place. I’m still not sure if this place is supposed to be earth either, because how else was that facility supposed to have gotten here? I’m also starting to sense some hostile vibes from my former guide, Butterscotch Delight, as well. He mingled with the squadron escorting me down into the hole and disappeared behind a cave in. I sense his involvement in this, in all of this, but I am yet unaware of the extent. But I did become the Princess’ champion, thus earning her trust. She knows more than she lets on. A good night’s sleep has done wonders. Even if Celestia hadn’t invited me, I would have gone to her.
CHAPTER 5 PART 1: THE MISSING GUARD
Lars Leland, a human among ponies, entered the throne room where Celestia sat at the very end. The guards did not react in the least to him or the large sword on his back. Late morning light cast their shine through the high windows and glistened in the waters surrounding the throne. A young, purple unicorn was using her magic trying to lift several heavy stones in front of the steps. It took every bit of her concentration just to get them off ground.
Celestia looked up to see Lars enter and smiled down at the filly. “You’ve worked hard, Twilight. Why don’t you take a break?” The one named Twilight nodded and the spell was broken. The stones crashed to the ground and startled her, making her take a jump back. “Remember; don’t get distracted no matter what when performing spells. Go outside for a bit, the fresh air will help clear your mind.”
“Sure,” Twilight replied and laughed as she skipped past Lars in a hurry. He looked behind him to follow her with his eyes.
“Cute. Is she yours?”
“Goodness, no,” Celestia chuckled. “She’s my latest student and the most promising one at that. The fate of Equestria will rest on her shoulders so it’s important she’ll be prepared.”
“I don’t know, she looked a little spaced-out if you ask me.” Lars came to a rest before the throne and put a fist under his chin before extending it into the air.
“And a good morning to you, Lars Leland. Your own accomplishments are not undeserving of merit either. I’m sure you have many questions for me by now.”
“I have a few, yeah. Mind telling me what it is you’re hiding from me? And what you were doing with that battery? It fit a little too well into a machine at the bottom level of the facility.” His tone was enquiring and his hands on his side. Celestia merely observed him silently for a moment, her hair waving in an unseen wind.
“I have kept some things from you, and for that, I apologise. It was my belief you were better off not knowing, but you prove yourself again and again to be stronger than I think. I will reveal all… eventually. First there are things that must be done and preparations to do. You have found an enemy who threatens to reveal ancient evils and you are caught up in the middle of all this.”
“Yeah, I kind of figured all that myself,” he replied and shifted the weight on his feet. “Could you tell me something I don’t already know?”
“You are getting impatient with me, and I understand. Before we begin, however, I ask of you as a friend to deal with an, uh… indiscretion of mine.” Lars looked one big question mark with his head tilting to one side. Celestia blushed and hid her face behind a wing. “There are many perks to being an immortal creature of untold magic, but there are also many downsides. I knew of them all and yet I did what I did. I have no excuses but you must understand, I was weak after several days of enduring the Crimson Plague.”
“Don’t tell me you had an aff–” Lars began but Celestia spread her wings and suddenly became much larger than she ordinarily seemed, making him take a step back.
“What is done is done, Lars Leland. There is one important issue, one crucial reason that I am never allowed the comfort of another pony. Even a simple kiss can drive a mortal mind insane, to think nothing of what combining flesh will do.”
“How…” Lars began without knowing how to finish the sentence. Celestia shrank again, folding her wings close and bowing her head.
“Alicorns are beings of raw magic. In moments of weakness, we transfer some of that power to our partner. It isn’t too much of a problem when we’re younger and our magic more undeveloped, but in my age magic flows through me like my blood. I was so very tired and he only wanted to comfort me. Now he roams the streets of Canterlot, out of his mind and rambling lies and slander.” She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. Millennia of public composure had taught her how to keep her feelings at bay. “Find him and kill him. There is no more hope for him except death.”
“You can’t seriously ask me to kill him. Isn’t it you who always speaks of peaceful approaches?” he protested with arms swinging wide but Celestia looked up at him with sorrowful eyes, suddenly appearing much older than she normally looked.
“Do you think it’s easy for me? He was my most trusted guard. If I really loved him I should have pushed him away. No matter how much it would have hurt, anything would be better than the madness he now endures. Do not make me ask this of you as your Princess.”
Lars looked down at his feet, his hands finding the belt whereto was strapped the ceremonial green dagger he had received for becoming her Champion. “Anything for you… Celestia. You can count on my silence but please do make me do this again.”
A bright, warm aura surrounded her and royal pride entered her posture again as she sat up like she usually did. “Thank you, and please do not underestimate him. He was still new to his position but you don’t enter my inner circle without skill. Do not die out there, Lars Leland. Things have been set into motion and I need you to stop them.”
With no clues to go on, Lars sought out Granny Pie directly after leaving the Princess’ company. She was not to be found at her usual post by the entrance so he continued to wander outside. An elderly mare with a light purple coat and paling pink mane sat on a bench next to the stairs.
“It’s a chill, foreboding day,” Granny Pie said and drew her shawl tighter. “I wonder if something’s going to happen today.”
“I’m looking for a runaway guard, Mrs Pie. You wouldn’t have heard anything to that effect?”
“Rumours would have it that a frustrated guard walks about Celestia’s Reach, grumbling to himself and yelling at anypony who comes too close.”
Twilight rushed past him and up the stairs again. “Is the fate of Equestria really resting on her?” he asked
“The Princess is of that belief. It is certain that filly has an interesting cutie mark, almost like a mark of fate.”
A bitterly cold wind blew through Canterlot and Lars grabbed his collar and drew it up to his cheek. “Thank you. It sounds like the guard I’m looking for.”
He had walked a little, observing how some ponies braved the cold weather to do their shopping with bags flying around them, when a voice called out into his ears.
“Are you sure you wish to tangle with one of Celestia’s handpicked guards?” Greenhately asked.
“I beat Karrod, didn’t I? It can’t go completely wrong with you at my side.”
“Well, that is true. I could help you do anything you wanted, even if you wanted to do the impossible. I’m merely urging to caution. Celestia’s bodyguards are nothing like the regular ones. They’re on a completely different level.”
“Well you know a lot for someone with no interest in these ponies.” Lars smirked, which for anypony watching him would just seem like he thought of a funny joke. Greenhately scoffed.
“I have no interest in these lower creatures. It is you that I worry about. If you succeed in finding your way back… I want you to take me with you. If you promise as much then I will make you my knight.”
“Whoa, whoa, what’s that about?” he asked and stopped up suddenly. A pony walking her dog nearly bumped into him and grumbled at him as she adjusted her hat.
“If you become my knight, then you will have full access to all of my awe-inspiring abilities. You will become immortal with power beyond your comprehension.”
“But…” Lars walked again towards an arch declaring ‘Celestia’s Reach.’
“What you have tasted so far has only been a sample of what you can do. You can’t even imagine what it will be like wielding me fully.”
“I will think about it,” he said, though his voice sounded unconvinced.
Celestia’s Reach was a part of Canterlot he had already visited, a place filled with large mansions on long rows. The ponies inhabiting the place were all dressed in fine clothes or hats, had any of them been outside. Instead, the neighbourhood was quiet as the grave and drapes had been drawn for all the windows. Again a wind blew but Lars’ suit was well-insulated.
“I think we’re in the right place,” he muttered, cautiously taking the claymore into his hands. Again it felt like it had no weight at all. Without even thinking about it, Lars equipped it with only one hand as he walked down the main streets.
There was a noise off to his left, in the dark between two large houses, like someone talking himself. Lars ventured closer and saw the silhouette of a pony. A single beam of sunlight snuck into the darkness and fell on the glistening gold armour.
“Hello?” Lars called. The shape turned its head but made no other movements. “Identify yourself!”
The guard came out of the shadows slowly with a paranoid gleam to his eyes. He was unwilling to focus on Lars and instead concentrated on the sky. “She – she watches us through the sun. That’s how she knows what – what we’re thinking.”
“You’re not well, friend. Just put down your weapons and let me help you.” He had his claymore in hands but the tip pointed away.
“No. No, you’re – you’re one of them,” the guard said and found the green dagger around Lars’ waist. “She knows that I know and now – now she sends you, her champion, to silence me.”
“Would the Celestia you know do something like that?”
The question threw him off guard and he looked away again. “He’s trying to trick me. He must not know that I am a guard. After all, who would know better than me? Always plotting, always scheming. But I will not let them. I can’t let them.”
The guard drew the sword from his side and held it between his teeth. Lars raised his own weapon and pointed it at the guard. “Don’t do something we’ll both regret. Just put it down.”
A single tear trailed down the guard’s cheek, but still he jumped and Lars blocked it. The guard was like possessed and though his eyes rolled back, he managed to keep up the attacks while switching between heaving and laughing. Lars was pushed out into the middle of the street, dodging as quickly as the guard could attack but with no window to fight back. The guard jumped back and took his sword into his hooves and reared. Lars took the chance and darted forward. The two swords barely missed each other. Lars’ claymore stabbed thin air next to the guard’s head, while the guard pushed his own sword into Lars left shoulder. It went all the way through the fabric and out on the other side.
Time was like frozen. Lars peeled his eyes open in surprise. His shirt was supposed to be indestructible against anything… from his own world. The guard’s sword glowing with magic was the last he saw before it was retracted and he fell backwards. The world spun before his eyes before fading into black. He could still hear the guard leaving and a few scattered gasps from the windows.
“That’s some soup you got yourself into, and as always, you probably expect me to clean it up. Hey now, don’t be like that. Open your eyes.”
It didn’t hurt anymore. He felt as light as a feather. Opening his eyes just came naturally to him. He lay on the floor of an old factory building, where the windows up high were shattered and let light in from a grimy, poisonous-looking sky.
“If this is Heaven, then I want a refund,” Lars said and took to his head. His dirty-blonde hair was still there, as was the stubbles of an unshaven chin.
“Not Heaven. Just a place in the between.” Greenhately, going by the voice, stood next to him, a broad-shouldered man with a great tan, powerful jaw and perfect choppers. “I bet you did not expect me to be as handsome as this.”
“No, I must say you look… quite different than I imagined. Kind of like a television host,” he said and sat up.
Greenhately laughed hollowly and smoothed back his shiny, blonde hair. Everything about him glinted from his silky blue trousers and purple velvet shirt to his teeth. “This is my world. You remember that gorgeous orb at the bottom of your claymore. That’s where I live, that’s where we are now.”
Something dawned on Lars and he frantically patted his shirt around where he had been stabbed but there was nothing to be seen. “M-my wound, what happened to…”
“You’re only here in spirit, not in flesh. I’m currently healing you. Phew, I tell you,” Greenhately said and dragged Lars up on his feet. He was nearly a head taller than Lars. “A little more to the left and you’d be a goner. Even a breath-taking guy like me could not have helped you then. Well, unless…”
“Unless what?” Lars asked, uncomfortable with the big, orangey hand pressing him up against its owner’s pecs.
“Well, if you promise to take me with you away from those primitive creatures, then I will make you my knight. You are still intent on going back to the human world, yes?” Greenhately pressed a large finger against Lars’ chest and winked at him.
“I am working on it, sure. But what are you even doing here then?”
“Oh, that’s the worst part. I don’t even know,” he replied and dramatically put a hand to his forehead while moving away from Lars. “But if you have considered my offer, you will be immortal. You will never have to worry about dying! You will have strength beyond your wildest imagination.”
“And what would you get out of this?” Lars asked with arms crossed across his chest.
“Of course, I will get out of here with you,” Greenhately assured and flashed his pearly whites.
“The answer is no. I have no interest in immortality.”
“I’m not doing this for me! It’s for you,” Greenhately said and grabbed Lars’ shoulder. “You need my help to get out of here. Just look at you. Died by that guard’s hoofs.”
“I said no! Now if my body is ready again, I would like to get out of here,” Lars replied with a steely face. Greenhately observed him for a long while, before sighing deeply.
“Very well. But just say the word at any time and it will all be yours.”
The world faded away into darkness once more. An earthly feel flushed over Lars and all of his limbs tingled at once. They were unresponsive at first, but as the light entered his vision so did his mobility. There was no pain, only a warm feel where the sword had made contact with his flesh. His hand crawled up along his belly and found the chest. He could feel the naked flesh and fresh blood mixed in with frayed fibres but there was no hole.
“What have I gotten myself into,” he grumbled and sat up with ease. “I feel like a whole new man, too. What did you do to me?”
“Just a simple spell of restoration. As long as you don’t die then I can still heal you, all right?” Greenhately said in his mind.
“Right, right, I got it. But we need to do something differently. It was a little too close for comfort this time.”
He looked around him, the blood pool underneath him making him jump to his feet.
“It’s because you’re still struggling against me. I could better fight if you would just let me. Remember, I can’t give you the power without your consent.”
“I’ll be keeping that mind. God, I have blood inside the suit as well,” he said with goosebumps crawling up his arms.
The guard was nowhere to be seen so Lars had to wander around for a while. It was a large neighbourhood but most of the space was taken up by mansions. The space left was the road and a few back alleys. He found the guard again in one such alley with his mouth wrapped around the hilt of his sword.
“You’re dead. I killed you myself!” His eyes widened in terror and leapt. Lars unsheathed his sword with one swift motion and instantaneously blocked the strike.
“Do your thing,” Lars whispered, and immediately felt another presence caressing his hands. The sword moved of its own as did his legs. “The rumours of my death are greatly exaggerated,” he said aloud to which the guard gritted his teeth.
“No… my sword. Your chest. That hole. I don’t understand thing!” he howled as he hacked furiously away at Lars. Greenhately was more capable of blocking the rapid hits with his own speed. Lars smiled at seeing his arms move like he would never be able to. It only acted as a taunt towards the guard who gave it all he had. He jumped back again and took the sword into his hoofs, lifted it overhead and leapt again. The force behind it was magical. The sword glowed with the effort and spread long shadows in the alley. Lars lifted his own claymore up to protect himself and was promptly pushed back.
“Hmph. Quite powerful. But wait’ll you see this!”
“Greenhately, don’t!”
But it was too late. First, his arm pushed the guard back. Second, he exploited the guard staggering to make a side swipe. So much power went into the slash that the claymore cut through the armour and sank into the flesh and broke the bones as well. The blade had gone deep into the guard’s chest. When Lars’ foot kicked him off the blade, the guard sank into a pool of his own blood.
“This is why you get hurt, you know? You lack the resolve to kill,” Greenhately said. His presence again faded from Lars’ limbs and the tip of the claymore fell tip first into the ground.
“Perhaps so. But there might still have been a chance to save him.” Lars stepped away from the seeping blood on bare feet and crouched down next to the guard.
With what little strength he had left, the guard looked up at Lars and smiled. “T-thank you… outlander. I was… not myself. Tell the Princess… tell her not… to worry. And give her… this.” The guard took a necklace from under his armour and hoofed it on to Lars. “I am happy… that I could… make her happy. I regret… nothing.”
The guard rested his head on the ground and closed his eyes with a satisfied smile on his lips. Lars said nothing as he got up. He was quiet all the way back to the castle. Perhaps if his thoughts hadn’t been distracted, he would see that blade was clean. Blood was also missing from where it had rested. He did hear a slight burp reverberating in his mind but didn’t think anything of it.
CHAPTER 5 PART 2: THE HUMAN GUN
Lars poked his head into throne room but found it empty aside from the usual row of guards lining the walls.
“The Princess asked me to direct you to the forge.”
Granny Pie had appearing behind him and nearly scared him into falling through the doors. Instead he turned around clutching his chest. “Don’t ever sneak up on me like that again.”
She chuckled until she saw the hole in his suit and the blood. “Whatever did the Princess ask you to do? Dearie, are you all right?” She licked her hoof and started rubbing the blood off his exposed flesh but Lars grabbed the arm and gently put it down.
“I’m fine, thank you, Mrs Pie. I’m in no pain or danger at least. As for my errand, I can’t speak of it. Sorry.” He added an encouraging smile as she searched his face with her deep eyes.
“Very well then. Come along,” she said and ran off at a good trod, down the stairs and into the right wing of the castle.
“Not this again,” he muttered and hastily followed her.
The elderly mare stayed just far enough ahead for him to see her fluffy tail swish around corners as they went towards the end of the castle. A large wooden door protected a small room where a forge stood along with an anvil, a heavy table beset with iron bands and several ponies. Most prominently Celestia who seemed all the bigger in such a small room.
“This here’s the human what save Canterlot and all?” a gruff pegasus said, leaning in over his anvil. His coat was of a most royal purple colour, but his barrel shape and stunted wings gave him the perfect looks for a blacksmith. Perhaps not surprisingly, his cutie mark was of anvil with several lightning bolts flying off of it.
“This is Lars Leland. Lars Leland, Lightning Roller, the royal smith. We have an interesting proposal for you,” Celestia said and bowed her head down to the pegasus. He wiped his nose with a broad stroke of his left arm.
“How do you do?” he grumbled in a somewhat friendly tone. He got off the anvil again and what he had been hiding nearly made Lars lose his jaw.
“Where did you get these?” he asked as he approached the striking implement. Two tools looking like bulb horns lay displayed, both of them a scarlet red and one of them cracked open.
“One of them was brought back by my guards after your deal with the undead, which made me remember we had something similar in the royal vaults,” Celestia explained calmly.
“None of them worked, ya see, but with some reverse engineering and a bit of jury rigging, I managed to get the one from the vault working. Mostly.”
“Mostly?” Lars asked with a raised eyebrow. Lightning Roller nodded.
“A key component is missing. Some blue fiddly things.” He pointed to the opened gun where two deep grooves ran parallel inside the round part. “I’m guessing batteries, but the one from the vault were missing its and the one the guards brought back was almost destroyed.”
“So I have to find two replacement batteries for the Bulb Horn Gun before I can get it working. May I ask why I would need a Bulb Horn Gun in the first place?” He was looked up at Celestia but the Princess merely observed him with half-closed eyes.
“It will not be safe where you are going, Lars Leland. Only you can go and there will undoubtedly be more fabricants that you can count. I would feel a lot less guilty sending you off with a weapon you are familiar with.”
“Bah, what does she know? You and I could take on any foes,” Greenhately said.
“It will be good to have a familiar weapon in my hands again. Though why can’t I just use the same gun as the one that skeleton used? It worked fine when he shot at me,” he said and picked up the one that wasn’t cracked up. It nearly fell apart in his hands. The surface was scratched and cracked and the nozzle was severely bent.
“The magic that kept the skeleton animated, for want of a better word, also kept his equipment intact. Once the spell was broken, well, you see the result,” Celestia said and levitated the gun back.
“This all sounds very mysterious, but you trusted me with a heavy task,” he said and put a fist under his chin. “I’ll trust you on this as well. You can explain everything to me once I return. And, I have something for you.” Lars took the necklace from one of the seamless pockets in his suit and held it up. A shadow of mourning passed over Celestia’s face. She accepted the necklace without another word, and Lars quietly left.
A few minutes later, when he was back outside in the courtyard in front of the castle, Granny Pie brushed up against him to stand before him. “So, do you have any idea where to go?” she asked.
“I think I do. Karrod certainly had an interesting weapon, wouldn’t you say? Almost looked like it had been repaired with a lot of different materials over the years.”
“That weapon is the only thing he had with him when he came to Canterlot. I doubt he will just let you handle it like that.”
A grin crept over his face, but he quickly coughed it away. “Ah, well, we’ll just have to wait and see,” he said mysteriously and hastily crossed the plaza.
Granny Pie respectfully declined going into the barracks and chose to wait outside. Lars went inside alone and found Karrod through the corridors and up the stairs. Lars dragged him into a side room where several heavy sacks were stored along with wooden crates. He sat down on one of them and Karrod sat down opposite him.
“Can I have a look at your weapon for a moment?” Lars asked with both hands on his knees. “Please?”
“Ah, you are a connoisseur of weapons?” Karrod took the sickle from inside his armour and Lars gently took it into his hands. “The sickle is widely used where I come from but rarely as a weapon. It takes skill to wield it properly.”
“What have you done with the hilt?” He held the blade by the dull side so he could examine the handle. A string of thin thread had been wrapped around it to hold several sticks and rods in place.
“A little trick my pappy showed me. The hilt can get very slippery, especially when used as a weapon, so I wrap a few extra things around it to get a better grip.”
“Would you mind if I…” he began while digging one of the rods free enough for him to examine. It was of a sky blue collar and shaped like a glow stick.
“By all means. You may even have the whole weapon if you so desire. I have no right to hold back to one who defeated me in honest combat,” he said sincerely and with a big smile drawn up to his eyes.
“It’s almost weird to hear you speak. Then again, I guess I didn’t really know you too well before, either.” He loosened the plant fibre so he could wriggle the blue stick free. Without it inside, however, the whole thing came undone and a host of unknown cylinders spilled into his lap. Karrod reared his head back and laughed loudly. “You can have the sickle back and all of these things too,” he said and handed the weapon back. He began to pick up some of the wooden and metal sticks, but Karrod placed a hoof on the back of his hand.
“It’s all right, Lars. That blue thing must be important to you, so I shan’t keep you any longer.”
“You’re not interested in knowing why I want it?”
Karrod shook his head and put the sickle back inside his armour. “I am sure you will have a much greater story to tell me later. And thank you for keeping my secret. You are a good man, Lars. I hope that you do find a way back.”
The midday sun was high in the sky and Lars had to shield his eyes with the palm of his hand as he stepped outside. Granny Pie waited for him on a bench not far away, observing the birds gathering around the food crumbs spread by people. They scattered as Lars approached and flew up into the glorious blue sky.
“Is it always this good a weather?” he asked and took a seat next to her. “I’ve been here almost two weeks and I don’t think I’ve even seen a single raincloud.”
“Cloudsdale controls the weather. We’re not getting a storm unless they want one,” she chuckled. “So, did you get it?”
“Right here,” he said and held up the battery between his fingers. Granny Pie studied it for a moment and then took a pair of blue, horn-rimmed spectacles from under shawl.
“Kind of… small. This will really make that gun thing work?” she asked and adjusted her glasses.
“That’s why I need two. But I have no idea where to find a second one. It must be some kind of miracle for me to have found just this one.” He clenched it in his fist and looked at it with a melancholic smile, before putting it into a seamless pocket where it disappeared without a trace.
“Now hold on just a minute,” she said thoughtfully and paused a moment. “I know I’ve seen something like that before… yes. Yes! Come along.”
“No racing this time,” he said as he got to his feet. She gave him a teasing smile that made her seem much younger for an instant before the wrinkles creased up her face.
“Just a brisk pace, then.”
Her idea of brisk pace kept him at a half run throughout a large part of Canterlot, through a narrow alley and off down a street he had never visited before. The ponies there all minded their own businesses and kept themselves hidden under hats and hoods. The shop signs were innocuous like everywhere else but the windows were grimy and showed dimly lit interiors.
One particular shop had a sign with a mare running with a banner, spilling pots behind her. The door gave a chime as Granny Pie opened it. A few items were spread around the shelves, mostly books, but also a few curiosities. A clerk stepped out of the shadow, wearing a red scarf and brown shirt. “May I help you, outlander?” he asked and fixed the hat on top of his head. “Something drew you to my shop and I wonder what it is?”
“He’s with me, Mr Ends, and we’re looking for something in particular.”
“Madam Pie, you are always welcome here!” he replied and put a hoof up on his desk. A gilded cage stood next to him and though no bird could be seen, it still chirped. “So what interests you today? Buy or sell?”
“Buy, this time. That shield behind you in fact.”
Mr Ends looked up at the shelf and quickly found the copper shield that she pointed to. “You should know better, Madam Pie. My special selection is not for sale.”
“As a diplomat, the price will not be an issue,” Lars said and went up to the desk. “Five thousand bits? Ten?”
“I’m afraid you don’t understand me,” Mr Ends said with a sly smile, completely undisturbed by the outrageous sums. “That aegis was worn by Celestia’s third champion in battle. It is a priceless artefact completely beyond mere money.”
“How about a trade then?” Granny Pie interjected. “I’m sure we could find you something to replace that dingy old shield?”
The clerk scoffed with a derisive laughter. “Madam Pie, you should know how long it has taken me to gather these artefacts. There’s no way you can just pull out something that would make me reconsider.”
“You’re interested in items worn by champions? How about this then?” Lars took off his strap and placed the ceremonial dagger on the desk. Mr End’s eyes nearly rolled out of his head. “You do know what this is?”
“Of course I know what this is,” Mr Ends said and unsheathed it. He held the naked, green dagger up to his face. “This is a gift given to the current champion, made of the finest volcanic glass there is. Quite useless in combat as it would undoubtedly shatter if you tried, but the craftsmanship is legendary…” He coughed and gently packed the dagger away again and pushed it across the desk. “But that hardly counts as an artefact, given its young age.”
“When will you ever get an item like that in your hoofs again?” Granny Pie asked and pushed the dagger back towards him. “The dagger for the shield.”
“Out of the question. One artefact could never replace another.”
“How about two then?” Lars asked, to which Mr Ends nearly spurted with laughter.
“TWO artefacts? Where in the world would you get a second!” he retorted.
“Are you certain that we need that shield?” Lars whispered to Granny Pie. She nodded. “Then hold the fort while I run a quick errand. I’ll be right back.”
Right back quickly became thirty minutes before Lars entered the shop again. He was holding a long stick in his hands that he carefully fitted through the entrance and leant up against the desk. The shaft was made of dark wood and the metallic head was ornately carved. Mr Ends admired the weapon and lit a lantern to see it better.
“Unbelievable. The Blessed Spear, a personal gift from Celestia herself to her sixth champion and later reclaimed by her upon his death. Thought to be collecting dust in the Canterlot treasure vaults. How did you… no, I don’t even want to know. The dagger and the spear for the shield. A fair trade if I must say so myself.”
Mr Ends gave the shelves a good kick. While everything collected there swayed back and forth, only the shield plumped down on his back. He swung his haunches and the shield landed on the desk.
“Thank you very much for your generosity,” Lars said and took the shield into his hands. It was dented and had more than a few dried splatters of blood on it. More interestingly, a small rod had been jammed into the middle like a dull spike. They hadn’t even gone out of the doors before Lars began to fiddle with it. Mr Ends had gone back to a backroom; otherwise he would certainly be horrified to see the offence being committed. Lars had no use for the rest of the shield and ditched it on a table before leaving the shop.
“I hope that gun of yours will be worth two priceless artefacts, dear,” Granny Pie said and smiled up at him.
It wasn’t long after that he himself pressed the two rods into their groove. Despite a few scratches and marks of time, they required only minor pushing to get wedged in. Lightning Roller reconnected the two halves of the gun again with his dexterous wings that acted almost like hands. Lars then picked up the assembled gun and swung it around. The bulb part proved difficult to turn and the gun was unwilling to shoot anything out of it.
“That’s odd. It should be working now. Are you sure you put it together right?” Lars asked the blacksmith. Lightning Roller sniffed and wiped his nose.
“Sure as pie, sir. You want it, I can build it. It’s the batteries if you want my opinion. A thousand years of inactivity can’t have been good for them.”
“Hmm.” Lars scratched his chin and held the gun in his palm. “We used to have these charging stations at all military facilities. Finding one now could be problematic…” He looked up as an idea flashed through his mind, the enlightenment shining on his face. “But, I think I saw one down in the facility when I was hunting for explosives.”
“You’re not going down there again?” Celestia asked with some concern to her voice. “I’ve already ordered the hole sealed up again, and a replacement statue is being installed as we speak.”
“Then I’d better hurry. Don’t close the hole before I get back!” He waved behind him as he hurried out of the forge.
CHAPTER 5 PART 3: BACK INTO THE PIT
The workers with their denim shirts were being watched by a guard. Perhaps because of the statue that they were preparing to install, or perhaps because they feared retribution from the fabricants. Lars could have spared them the dread by telling them how all the teleporters had been broken, but they probably wouldn’t understand if he tried.
The plinth with the hatch had been removed as well, and left was just the hole. A couple of scruffy earth ponies were discussing what to do with it when Lars interrupted them. “Stop what you’re doing right now. I need to get into that hole.”
They looked up at him, unhappy with the intrusion. “Yeah, and who are you? This is official work going on here,” the left one said, with an orange hard hat on his head. Several of the workers grunted in agreement but the guard stepped forward and commanded silence by butting his spear into the ground.
“Foreman, this is Lars Leland on orders from the Princess,” he said with an odd wink to his eyes at Lars. “He won’t be long, just let him through.”
The foreman with the orange helmet murmured something rude before whistling to one of his workers. A young stallion galloped forward with the ladder bouncing on his back and threw it down the hole. Lars put his hand under his chin and nodded at the workers, then jumped down into the hole.
The lack of light was no problem as the pommel quickly ignited and illuminated a large area around it. Greenhately’s voice was soon to follow in his ears as he descended.
“Are you sure you want to trust these ponies? They could easily seal up the hole after you.”
“Yeah, but why would they? Stop being so negative!” There was a bounce to his steps walking back into the facility. The machines lay where they had left them yesterday, disturbed neither by hoof nor hand. Lars sprang over the lifeless husks and retraced his steps. It seemed much easier to progress, perhaps because he was alone or because he didn’t have to worry with the machines. He found the room again once he had finally gotten all the way down almost to the bottom floor.
The room was still there, still filled with the odd heaps of ashes. There was a desk at the end and some lockers around the walls but, most importantly, the machine he had come for standing in a niche. It was a hulky and ominous-looking piece of equipment, mostly just one large block of red metal with a single port where items could be inserted.
Lars placed the gun inside the hole but nothing happened. He traced a hand across the sleek surface looking for some kind of ignition button but felt only how the paint was peeling off in large strips.
“Well, that was that,” Greenhately said in feigned disappointment. “Guess we’d better go back and then you can just keep using me, how’s that? You might have to accept my powers, though. Sounds like you have a tough battle in front of you.”
“Not yet. There has to be a way to make this thing work.” There was not much room in the niche for him to wriggle it around with. All he could do was make it wobble back and forth in hopes of finding some way to activate it.
“Maybe it doesn’t have power?” Greenhately suggested.
“No, then the machine spreading the Crimson Plague wouldn’t have worked either. There has to be a way.”
“Excuse me, sir!” Lars turned around and nearly dropped to the floor out of shock. A see-through man hovered ever so slightly above an ash pile and stroked his prominent, curly beard. “I couldn’t help but notice that you wear the same clothes as us. How are you still alive?”
Lars clutched his chest where his heart pounded heavily. “I was sleeping… if that makes sense?”
A mournful gaze crossed the spirit, who looked down at his feet for just a moment. “So you’re one of them. Perhaps this is a fitting punishment; that you would survive and we would so cruelly be killed.”
“You know something about how I got here?” Lars asked hopefully but the spirit shook his head.
“No, it’s nothing. I’m guessing you wish to charge your gun, right? Then you need to fuel the machine first.”
Lars eyed the spirit suspiciously but eventually decided to play along. “All right, where do I get some fuel then?”
“Alas, this facility is rapidly crumbling. Any storage where you might have been able to find any fuel would be gone. But despair not, for I have seen beyond the walls of this facility. The tar pits may hold your answer.”
“Tar? You’re serious; I need to put tar into a delicate piece of machinery?”
The spirit nodded and started to fade away again. “Yes. It flows like oil in the natural caverns. Just fill a bottle from my desk and the machine should start again.” Its voice trailed off as it became less and less visible, leaving Lars in two minds.
“Sounds highly dubious to me. Let’s just go outside again,” Greenhately said.
“No, I think he’s right.” Lars directed his attention towards the machine again. His hands eventually found a panel on the upper part that slid open. A funnel could be seen leading into the machine. “This thing needs something to work with. Regular oil just goes right through it. A dense liquid might just be what it needs.”
“Suppose I accept that, where will you get access to the tar pits?”
“That is less of a problem than it might seem,” Lars answered and went to the desk. Sure enough, another package of explosives waited for him in one of the drawers. It was like a regular parcel with a white substance visible through the material, wound with string and equipped with a black timer. He did look nervously up at the ceiling that seemed to be bulging down from the weight of dirt on top. “I don’t think this is where this facility was originally placed. Or perhaps it was buried sometime in the past,” he muttered and also grabbed an old bottle of brandy. The liquid splashed out on the floor as he upturned it.
“So if you don’t want this place to cave in on us, where would you then go?”
“I’ll figure something out. Let’s just keep moving and see what we find.”
Lars moved through the hole he had previously blasted in a blockage and went down to the very bottom level. Before coming to the small room with fountains and paintings was a doorway filled with stone and rubble. He placed a hand on the debris and then put his head to a crack.
“I definitely feel a faint wind coming from beyond here. And I smell tar as well. This is perfect.” He wedged the explosive package into the fragile wall and set the timer. A minute later it exploded and sent shivers through the facility. A long-stretched groan ensued like the death blow of some huge beast. Dust rained down over him and it took him several moments with hands over his head before he dared go out and check the damage.
The facility was still standing, and a hole had been poked in the wall of debris. Lars wiped off some pebbles and other dirt before pushing himself through. The facility ended with the wall and what waited beyond were the wide natural caves that the spirit had told him about. The tar pits were all located at the bottom of the sloping passage and Lars resolutely went towards it.
“Well, never did I think you would come here. But I can’t allow you to go any further.” A guard stepped out of the shadows and smiled up at him. “I hope you’re not surprised to see me? This encounter has been long coming.”
Lars placed the bottle gently on the ground and went towards the guards. “Butterscotch?” he asked in half surprise, to which the pony laughed.
“Ding, ding, we have a winner!” The guard shrugged off his armour and his white coat quickly became purple. Silvery hair cascaded down his shoulder as he removed his helmet.
“How did you get your hooves on not one, but two guard amours?” Lars asked and took a step forward, but Butterscotch simply smiled calmly.
“Easy enough to make for the one whom originally designed them. Ah, but you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about, would you?”
“I do know that you’re hiding something. The guard armours were designed over a thousand years old!”
Butterscotch reared his back and laughed gently. “Then maybe I’m a thousand years old? I mean, you don’t know the first thing about me.”
“Well you’re a unicorn, so I know you’re not immortal.” Lars was closing the gap between them, but Butterscotch still stood at the bottom of the slope, smiling and scratching his chin.
“You know what my special talent is? Creating portals and going between worlds. It’s like sticking your hoof into a bag: you never know what you’ll pull out. What do you think we’ll get this time?” Yellow light shone from his horn, distending and warping the air. An inhuman growl came from within the distortion. “I would really like to stay and chat but you have ceased to amuse me any longer. It would be best for everyone if you just died here. I really only came to thank you. I would have remained asleep if it wasn’t for you, after all. Buh-bye!” The very space around him swirled to envelop him. Once it sproinged back he was gone.
“What was that about?” Lars asked and raised his claymore nervously as the space-time rift grew and the growls became warnings of murderous intent. “Has he just been playing with me this whole time?”
“I’m more interested in knowing how he is going to kill you. Such information would be vital to keep you alive,” Greenhately said.
A pair of hairy hands protruded from thin air and tugged at the rift from within. Their high placement suggested that something truly enormous waited at the other end.
“You know, there’s no shame in retreat. Do you really need that gun all that much? I’ve slain angels and demons and I was once used as a doorstop to the library of life.”
“Then you won’t have any problem helping me out here.”
“I… I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”
Two feet came out of the rift followed by their legs and soon the whole body. A gigantic ape stumbled out, his eyes red with rage. The creature was over three and half metres (twelve feet) tall and nearly reached the cavern ceiling. Its body was covered in coarse, brown hair and its fists were like boulders. It screamed with frenzied madness and made the already fragile place shake in its foundation.
“We need to take care of this thing quickly. That last explosion didn’t exactly help stabilise the place,” Greenhately said.
The ape was heaving with anger but was calm enough to survey its surroundings. It snorted at seeing Lars who couldn’t even measure up to its waist. It howled in frustration and banged its fists at the ground. Lars dodged its swipes only because his own legs reacted faster than he could think.
“Listen to me; I’m not the one who summoned you here!” Lars protested. Even if the ape could understand him, which was in itself dubious, it was too ticked off to heed his words.
“I doubt there’s any reasoning with it. Just get to the part where you use me to slice it up.” Lars resisted the voice in his head and continued to avoid the assaults.
“It’s just confused. It probably doesn’t even mean me any harm.”
“No of course not, that’s why it’s furiously trying to squash you.”
When the fists didn’t work, the ape instead resorted to its feet. The stomps were if possible even more powerful and great chunks of stone fell from the ceiling, making staying alive even harder.
“Your pacifism is irrational! It will kill the both of us if you don’t get to work soon!” Greenhately screamed into his ears. Lars was beginning to feel the exhaustion of running around the ape and between its legs. He panted slightly as he took a breather, waiting for the ape to realise he was behind it.
“It pains me to admit it, but… I guess there are no alternatives.” He raised the sword above his head, feeling the weight like a bag of feathers, and cut into the ape’s left leg. He barely made a scratch, but just enough for the ape to quickly turn around and kick Lars off his feet.
Lars tumbled along the ground and landed close to one of the tar pits. Seething bubbles erupted from the pitch black surface like a boiling brew. “It doesn’t seem like I can hurt it with just my sword. Do you think we could lure it into one of the pits?”
The ape came towards him with slobber falling from its jaw opened in rage. It stomped around the cave and seemed to have forgotten its enemy to blind rage.
“Well, I was naturally about to suggest that as well,” Greenhately said. “Get its attention first and then lead it towards a pit.”
Lars nodded and darted forward again. The ape had stopped its rampage and instead sniffed the air. It growled as Lars came nearer and swiped at him. Its brow was wrinkled in anger and its teeth bared. Lars manoeuvred out of the way of the hands and managed to cut it across the leg. It howled again and raised its fists up. They smashed into the ceiling and even the ape was surprised to hear the rumble that followed. Large cracks snaked across the ceiling and the dust clouds were bigger than ever. A deafening sound from heavy rubble falling came out of the dust, as did Lars with a cough. Once everything had settled, the big ape was then placed beneath a big pile of stones. Its tongue lolled out of its mouth and its eyes were distant.
“Well, I guess that’s one way to take care of things,” Greenhately said.
Lars watched the ape closely for a few minutes for signs of life, but it didn’t even appear to be breathing. He turned away from it and grabbed his bottle again. “You think these tar pits are hot? I don’t know, I guess I’ve always thought of them as being boiling masses of asphalt.”
“I think you think of something else. I should know, I can see your thoughts.”
Sometime later, Lars came back to the room with the machine and fed it. It took a few moments for it to spring to life with a hum. He placed the gun inside the receptacle. It tipped and revealed itself to be a chute. Churning noises came from it like a great beast crunching on his gun. The weapon had no signs of chewing marks however once Lars took it back. He held it in his hand and smiled from ear to ear.
“It really worked. There’s this tiny vibration coming from it once it’s charged. Barely noticeable, but using it for half my life, you really get to miss it. Now if I could just find some footwear my day would be perfect,” he said and flexed his toes.
“Well I guess you won’t need me anymore. The man who destroyed mountains and rebuilt them at whim discarded by a mere toy.”
“Don’t feel bad.” Lars reached back and rubbed the orb at the end of the sword. Greenhately grunted slightly in pleasure. “The biggest help you give me is the added mobility… and removing my fear of dying.”
“There’s always that, I suppose. Now let’s get back. I can’t wait to see the human world again!”
Lars went out into the hall again when the ground beneath him shook worse than ever. Deafening noises of destruction resounded between the walls like the death throes of a wounded animal, followed by an inhuman roar of pain. The great ape was still alive and forced its way through the hall. Its large size meant that it ripped the ceiling with its head and upheaved the floor with its feet. Its arms swung wildly and banged into the walls.
“It’s still alive?” Greenhately asked bemused. “My, my, that thing is almost as resilient as me.”
“This is not the place to fight, though. I doubt this facility can take much more abuse.”
As if to stress his point, the hall collapsed behind the ape and long cracks appeared on all surfaces spewing great clouds of dust. Lars turned on his heel and ran back up through the facility. The ancient facility creaked and groaned, and rubble gushed forth from adjacent hallways and doors. He sprang over any obstacle with such nimbleness that it surprised even him. The ape on the other hand simply bulldozed through it all. It was blind with rage and large streams of its blood flowed from long gashes on its head, matting its coarse black hair.
The narrow halls acted to Lars’ advantage. He would not have been able to stay in front of the ape in any other environment. Especially the constant turns and twists confused the ape, and it had to stop up several times to figure where to go.
Eventually Lars reached the enormous entrance hall. The shaking loosened the pillars and they crumbled around him. The ape was at its full potential and only the falling pillars kept it from reaching Lars. One of them fell across its shin, making it trip. It howled in anguish and anger but Lars used the distraction to climb up on top of his own pillar, towards the hole that would lead him out. The room filled with dust and he sneaked a peek as he stopped to catch his breath.
“If this facility dissolves completely, it could undermine all of Canterlot!” he mumbled and furiously scratched his stubbly chin. The tremors stopped and the dust settled. The ape had gotten to its feet and lumbered towards Lars. It pounded its fists against its chest and screamed hatefully, the added shakings making the room tremble again.
“If you don’t kill it, then it will destroy this whole city. Not that I care about these intelligent equines but it would be such a hassle.”
“I know what you’re saying, and it’s probably in a lot of pain, but it doesn’t make it any easier.” Lars sighed deeply and turned the bulb of his gun almost all the way up and aimed the nozzle at the ape. “Please forgive me,” he said and steadied his arm in the direction of the ape. He squeezed the bulb and a yellow beam sprang from the gun with unparalleled speed. Not even the second after, the creature’s chest ripped open. It howled at first before falling to the ground and whimpering. Blood pooled below it and its fingers stirred, but eventually that ended as well.
“Ugh. Yeesh, what a stench,” Greenhately said. Lars put his arms around his face and made his way back.
“Burnt hair and searing flesh tends to smell that way. At least we know it works now. Princess Celestia better have a good explanation for all this.”