The Royal Treatment
Princess Celestia walked into the breakfast nook--one of the few safe-zones--still half asleep. Because of that, she sat down and was almost halfway through her meal before she noticed the giant scoreboard on the wall opposite.
It was a pretty simple affair. On one end was a picture of her own face, staring grimly out into the room. Underneath, a giant glowing zero mocked the Princess. Mirrored on the other side was a portrait of Luna, cocky grin replacing the grim line of her sister’s mouth. Underneath her was a big glowing five. Between the two pictures was the word “Days Left:” above a giant glowing twenty-eight.
“Good morning, Your Majesty,” Discord called as he entered the room, taking a seat to the left of Celestia. “Did you manage to get all of the cake out of your mane?”
“Discord, what is the meaning of this?” Celestia asked, waving a hoof at the scoreboard.
“All in good time. I shall explain when your dear sister gets here. I don’t want to repeat myself.” With that, Discord turned towards the table and tucked into his own breakfast. Knowing that she wouldn’t get anything else out of him, Celestia turned to her own plate and began to eat.
Around ten or so minutes later, Luna sauntered in, cheeky grin spread across her face. “Good morning, sister and Discord.”
“Excellent, we’re all here. Well, except for that lazy prince. Honestly, marry a princess and suddenly you’re above everything...” Discord shook his head. “Anyway, since Dear Old Tia asked, allow me to introduce you to the scoreboard!” With a flourish, he waved one arm towards the wall.
“You see, I was sitting, unable to sleep the night of the beginning of your contest,” Discord said. “I was worried it would not be an even match, and we would have to declare a random winner at the end of the month. ‘This will not do!’ I said to myself. ‘We need some sort of system!’ So, I decided to create a scoring method. Simply report your planned prank and time frame to Shining Armor and myself, and we shall observe and rate it on a score of one to five. This board will let you two know who is in the lead, and how many days there are until the game is up. At the end, whichever sister has the most points wins.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Five? How does Luna already have five. She only played one prank, and it wasn’t even that good!”
Luna’s argumentative cry was drowned out by Discord’s response. “You elected Shining Armor and me judges, you’ll have to respect our choices. And for the record, she played two.”
The blue alicorn stuck her tongue out at Celestia. “Better step up your game, Dear Sister.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Celestia responded with an mischievous grin. “I will.”
_--_--_--_--_--_
Princess Luna spent the rest of the day in her personal chambers, guards on strict orders to search everypony seeking entry thoroughly. Just two days in and she had an advantage over Celestia, and she didn’t intend on losing it. A few minutes after she finished her lunch, a knock sounded on the door to the chamber; the signal that a pony was seeking admittance, and had passed the search.
The Princess reached out with a burst of magic and pulled the ornate door open. A very colorful pegasus cautiously trotted around, head on a swivel as she tried to look at everything at once. In her fascination, she almost tripped over a hooflocker at the foot of the bed. If Luna hadn’t reached out a hoof to steady her, she would have fallen on her face.
“Oh! My apologies, Your Majesty,” the newcomer said nervously. “I-I’ve just never been in a room so...” Finding no words that fit, the mare fell silent.
“We have tried to capture the essence of the Night in Our room, yes. We are glad you like it,” Luna replied from her place on the bed. “Now, what have you come seeking?”
“We--I, I come with an, uh, an invitation!” Her speech seemed to lend strength to her words, every syllable seemed to make the mare grow in stature and demeanor. “You’ve been given an all-expenses-paid voucher for the Boni-Mare Spa!”
Luna raised a quizzical eyebrow. “The Boni-Mare Spa is a relatively new institution,” the bubbly mare continued, “that caters towards the higher-class ponies of Canterlot. We provide a wide array of treatments that are specially designed to reduce stresses commonly found in ponies in important jobs. We also try to provide an atmosphere perfect for socializing so you can relax and--”
Luna raised a blue hoof, silencing the hyperactive mare practically bouncing in front of her. “What, may We ask, is your name?”
“My name’s Shimmer!” she proudly proclaimed.
“Miss Shimmer, We mean no insult, but going to the spa has never really been one of Our past times. In fact, at the time of Our... departure... spas wouldn’t have been invented for almost another two hundred years.”
The pegasus’ jaw dropped. “So you’ve never been to a spa?”
“No, Celestia took Us to one upon Our return, but We did not find it to Our liking.”
“B-B-But you have a free voucher!” Shimmer said, fishing the slip of paper from her saddlebag. “Miss Lily said to make sure it went to you.”
An eyebrow worked its way up the Princess’ face. “Who ordered this voucher?”
“Ummmm...” The pegasus rooted around in her saddlebag for a moment before popping her muzzle back out. “No name was given, sorry.”
“Well, We must decline, then. Our apologies.”
Shimmer scuffed the floor with a hoof. “A-Alright... Um, if it isn’t too much trouble, can you direct me to Princess Celestia’s quarters? I have orders to give the voucher to her if you don’t want it.”
Though Shimmer didn’t notice, Luna’s ears perked up. “Well, in that case, We suppose We can look at it.”
“Great!” Shimmer bounced forward, precariously holding the voucher on an outstretched wing. Luna grasped it with her magic, and Shimmer moved back towards the door. “Hope to see you there!” she said before walking out the door.
I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if Tia was going to get it... Luna thought before moving towards her closet to get ready.
_--_--_--_--_--_
A dark blue unicorn slowly opened the door to the Boni-Mare Spa. A little bell above the door chimed, alerting the pegasus behind the counter that somepony was there to be serviced. “Hi, and welcome to the Boni-Mare Spa! My name is Lily, how may I help you?”
“I have this voucher for a free treatment,” the newcomer said, levitating a slip of paper from her saddlebag and placing it on the counter.
Lily looked it over before smiling and sweeping it off with a hoof. “Right this way, Miss...”
“Moonshade.”
“Miss Moonshade, please, come with me.” Lily stepped out from behind the counter and headed down a corridor. The blue unicorn followed. She was led to a somewhat small room, dominated by a single, pony-sized bed. “Go ahead and hop on, I’ll be out in a moment,” Lily said, before walking into a side room.
As soon as Moonshade had climbed onto the padded platform and got comfortable, Lily returned with a basket held in her mouth. Setting it down on a small stand near the table, she busied herself preparing her implements. “Now,” she said through a hoof file, “justh ‘old ou’ a hooth, ‘n’ A’ll start.”
She moved her head down, rubbing the edge of the file against Moonshade’s outstretched hoof. At first, the unicorn cringed away, but soon became relaxed as the gentle grate of metal on hoof filled the room. Far too soon, Lily moved on to the other forehoof, then to the back two, before switching to a soft cloth and oil, coating each hoof thoroughly before gently wiping it all down.
“There we go.” Lily stored the soaked rag in the basket over the file and bottle of oil. “All nice and clean. Now, how about you step down from there, and we can move to sauna.” Moonshade nodded, moving to get up, only to be pulled back down to the table. She frowned and pushed again, trying to get some leverage to push herself from the pad, but once again fell back onto her stomach.
“Um, is everything alright?” Lily asked.
Moonshade shook her head and chuckled nervously. “I seem to be a little, uh, stuck.”
“Oh, that’s normal for new spa goers,” Lily replied with a dismissive wave of a hoof. “You’re fine, I promise.”
“No, I don’t think so.” Moonshade pushed up, managing to get her forelegs under her to provide extra leverage, but still to no avail. “Um, could you maybe help me?”
The pegasus raised an eyebrow, but nonetheless held out a hoof, which Moonshade gripped in two of her own. Lily gave a quick tentative tug before digging in her hind hooves and pulling hard. On her first tug, she slipped, the slick oil remaining on Moonshade’s hoof causing it to slip between Lily’s. The pegasus got into a better position, jumping into the air to hover, pulling with all of her strength. At long last, Moonshade came free, knocking into the pegasus, causing both of them to tumble to the floor.
“I’m so sorry!” Lily said, pulling herself out from under the other mare. “There must have been some oil or something on the table!”
“It’s fine,” the other pony replied with a wave of her hoof. “Now, which way to the sauna?” Lily pointed with one hazel hoof, and the two set off down the passageway, side by side, until they came to a branch from the main path with doors set into either side.
“Just pick any door you like and head on inside. All of our saunas are preset to let off steam, but if there isn’t enough, feel free to put some more water on the coals, but not too much! I’ll be back in half an hour or so. Holler if you need something.” Moonshade nodded, and headed into the first room on the right.
The sauna room wasn’t small, but it wasn’t exactly large, either. It was just big enough to fit the three benches set into the floor in a ring around a bed of coals. Next to the door hung a pot of water, with a handle sticking out. The unicorn grabbed the handle, and poured a small bit of water from the ladle onto the coals, resulting in instant steam. Moonshade took a seat on the bench opposite the door and laid back, letting the hot steam wash over her.
For a few moments, everything was fine, until she felt an itch on the skin around her horn. Thinking nothing of it--stranger things had happened around unicorn horns--she reached up with a hoof and mindlessly rubbed the irritated skin. Instead of being abated, however, the itch spread to her hoof..
Moonshade opened one eye, moving her hoof down to rub it against her stomach, causing it to spread again. She itched that with the other hoof, lightly brushing against the inside of her hind leg with the tip, causing the mysterious urge to spread, in turn, to all of her hooves, the itch on her head still unquenched.
Lily returned a half hour later to see the unicorn thrashing on the ground, frantically rubbing her hooves all over her body. “Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Lily shrieked, rushing to the side of the writhing unicorn.
“I-Itchy. So, so itchy! Aargh!” Moonshade replied, showing no signs of stopping. Thinking quickly, Lily rushed over and hooked the half-empty bucket of lukewarm water with a wing before rushing back and dumping it on the ailing unicorn. Much to her relief, wherever the water flowed, the itch flowed away with it.
Moonshade rose to her unsteady hooves, allowing Lily to thoroughly scrub her with a large, fluffy towel. “I’m soooo sorry!” she said, using her wings to dry off the soaked unicorn. “What happened?”
“I have no idea! One minute, I was calm and relaxed, then I had an itch, so I scratched it, but it didn’t go away, it just spread! Next thing I know, I’m itching everywhere!”
“Well, there’s still one more treatment left on your voucher, but this has been such a terrible visit, I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to save it for later,” Lily said, opening the door so the two mares could enter the hallway.
“Might as well get it over with,” Moonshade replied in a gruff voice, noting with a small flicker of glee the slightly hurt expression shadowing Lily’s features. The pegasus led the dark unicorn into a room full of baths of a mud-like substance. Moonshade settled in, closing her eyes to accommodate the cucumber slices, and let her thoughts take her away.
A half hour later, mason ponies were called into the Boni-Mare Spa. Apparently, one of the female guests had gotten stuck in a solidified mud bath. It took them another twenty minutes to free her. As soon as she could escape, the guest bolted out the door, denouncing the new spa to all who would listen.
_--_--_--_--_--_
The next morning, Princess Celestia sauntered into the breakfast chamber, a cocky smirk plastered on her face. “Good morning, Dear Sister,” Luna called from across the room. “May We ask why thou are so happy?”
“As if you don’t know,” came Celestia’s cheeky reply as she sat down to her fruit-filled plate.
“No, We do not.” Before the Princess could voice her confusion, Discord strode into the room.
“Bad call, Celestia,” the reformed Lord of Chaos said. “The prank itself was genius, but... you hit the wrong pony.”
“Wha-- How!” The white alicorn looked from the mock-disapproving draconequus to the half-hidden grin on her sister’s face. At last, her gaze landed on the scoreboard. The clock had ticked down one, as to be expected, but nothing else made sense. Luna’s score had risen to a ten, whilst her own had dropped into negative.
“We gave the voucher to somepony else, the poor mare,” Luna replied. She burst into laughter alongside Discord when Celestia sunk down into her seat, resigned to mull over her breakfast, subdued.
Just you wait, sister, she thought while chewing a slice of kiwi. You’ll get yours...