//------------------------------// // Good Times // Story: How my Little Brother Became an Alicorn // by WiseFireCracker //------------------------------// The maid had been thanked, we had excused ourselves for being so inept with directions, she had assured us it was no problem, mostly to Tom, so I could go on at ease. On that part, I didn’t have to keep up my guard as high as I did before. Heck, I had been relaxed enough to get a few good jabs against Tom, and vice versa. Just that had been like a breath of fresh air, to pierce my head through the surface of a lake after being submerged for so long. Like any reasonable person, I gulped the sensation greedily, demanding more of it… That, however, changed spectacularly when the doors opened themselves, onto an extravagant ballroom, the middle of which was occupied by a long wooden table. I barely had the time to swallow my anxiety. And underwater we dive! Stick the mask to your face. Wouldn’t want them to have doubts… Act like you’re nobility… what a joke. Why’d I default to that again? A: Because I’m a moron. B: Because I want to make things so much harder for myself. There was a tug against my leg, which made me blink and glance down at Tom. “Yes?” “C’mon! I’m hungry!” The little colt urged me, skitty and eager to take his place at that table. Oh, I so wasn’t looking forward to sitting down with the rest of those tuxedo wearing sharks. I already knew what was going to happen. They’d make thinly veiled comment, I’d have no choice but to lie to cover up for it and then… The memories… I shuddered. “Alright, let’s find a place and then we can ask a cook for some food, okay?” He jumped in place, ready to agree loudly, but I cut him off. “And don’t run, yell, be rude, talk back, mock ponies and all that stuff that makes Mom swear we’ll never go to a restaurant again.” Off put, Tom settled down a little. “’Kay… Can we get food now?” I struggled not to chuckle. “Sure. Follow me, we’ll find ourselves some good seats.” Calmly, making my way to the table, with a foal in my tow, I scanned the room for reactions. Few if not any had decided to ignore us in favor of their breakfast. Frankly, I might have been offended if some had. Great, now I’m getting an ego. What’s the next step? Talking the monster to death with my pure heart alone? The insolent thoughts brought images of me in a woman’s sailor outfit with me. Luckily, my brain shut down at the atrocity before it burned itself into my mind. Anyway! Amongst the nobles, none had expressions of approval or disapproval while we made our way from one side of the room to the other. Mostly, they seemed intrigued, or confused. Was there even an etiquette for where you have to sit down? Who am I kidding? Of course there is… I guess we’re supposed to sit at the end? I eyed the few free seats, looking for a pair of adjacent places. There were only two… A white stallion was intently redirecting his gaze every few seconds, as to avoid giving the impression he was staring. That… was not working well… Besides, I would have been hoping to find another place at any given chance, but there simply wasn’t any two free places except at that spot. If we were expected to dine here, then that had to be… I repressed a sigh and motioned for Tom to take a seat. Quickly, my little brother went to sit on the right of an old stallion, whose coat was gray as my grandpa’s hair. The wrinkle on that face were rather reminiscent of him too… With Tom seated, that left me with no choice than to take my place, next to… Prince Blueblood… My inner Rarity fan screamed at me to buck him in the face. The rest of my being was telling it to SHUT THE HELL UP, because apparently the idea of being incoherent and badly written was a big enough fear to rein myself in. With a very faint sigh, I let my legs give out and plumped down into the cushion. I barely had time to look up from that that a pony came out of nowhere, holding a plate. “Hay bread pastries, Sir?” The loaf of bread was letting out an aroma that made my mouth water. My eyes almost got glassy just from me imagining how that had to taste like. “Yes, please.” I nodded, smiling faintly. From the corner of my eyes, I could see Tom shaking with excitement, nodding enthusiastically at the cook’s suggestion. Both of us got served in record times, as the ponies responsible for breakfast had prepared a few of those in advance. Even then though, the loaf radiated warmth and freshness. Just taking in the smell of it was a delight. I had to restrain myself not to dig in right away. I felt too many eyes on me. Moving my eyes upward, I got sight of a dozen ponies glancing at me, continuously. Those that didn’t were aiming their interest toward Tom. Speaking of which, said little guy had already started munching on his bread, without much care for protocol and etiquette. Silently, some whispered indignant words under their breath. At this point though, I could hardly do a thing. I simply had to hope that Tom’s age would be a good enough justification. Realistically, it would be. But that only made other ponies look at me more intensively, as if to see if Tom’s manners were the results of my influence. They totally are. I shouldn’t have engaged him in so many chicken wings eating contests… Why had the waiter laid down four different forks? That was just one loaf of bread… Oh man, I was totally staring at silverware like I had no idea what to do… Was it a surprise that a boorish voice came from my right? “You seem confused, my good sir,” the prince said with an amused tone. “Surely you know basic table manners.” Hahaha… buck you, Blueblood. We both know I don’t. And we both keep those rigid little fake smiles on our faces to pretend otherwise. “Ah, I must admit to the customs of your court eluding me,” I replied with a kind smile. “Table manners seem to have greatly evolved since the last time I had been given the opportunity to learn them.” “Then, please, allow me to show you the proper way.” Oh freak… that sounded so condescending. Is that blood I taste at the idea of considering his offer? “If you would?” I gave a nod of acknowledgement, biting my cheeks to stop myself from screaming. “Of course.” He nodded, but… Wow, even when trying to be helpful, he gave the aura of an utterly self-centered idiot. Urgh… this is a mistake. “Simply use the hay fork.” … There are four pieces of silverware in front of me, each more glittery than the next, each more detailed than the next, with carvings that could tell a tale all by itself. Shame there isn’t one with ‘Hay’ written all over it? “Surely…” That grating voice came again, with a note of disbelief. “You know which one I’m talking about?” My cheeks started to heat up. Long and thin? Small and large? Four spikes or just two? I had no idea… Somepony coughed, but not in a natural way. It was that kind of cough I pretended to have whenever I had let out a snort or a chuckle. A quick glance told me an increasing number of ponies were staring at me, with Blueblood’s question gathering attention. In his eyes, I saw a desire to gloat. “Is this my destiny? To look at you and never more?” A voice echoed in my mind. It was… weird… I had no idea where it came from. “Huh? There’s a fork just for hay?” I heard Tom ask his neighbor. Salvation! “Yes, young colt.” The older stallion replied patiently, apparently used to dealing with kids. “One must use the right silverware for the right dish.” “Oh.” He seemed stumped. “That’s cool. I was just wondering, ‘cause I never ate hay before.” YES! I love you, Tom! A stunned silence followed his declaration. Somepony even dropped their drinks, eyes wide. That particular noble was quick to insult the servants for not cleaning up his cup better and for not cleaning up his mess faster. Cold contempt, rising. “You have ne-” The older stallion started, intrigued. “No. He hasn’t.” I jumped in the opportunity of a lifetime. I already knew where to take this. Still, I affected a humble façade and waited for the million dollar question. Quite a few ponies seemed ready to do just that, including a middle-aged mare munching on a piece of straw, but none had the guts to step forward and ask. “How is that possible?” Blueblood? …Is that just me or is he slightly more daring than the average stuffy noble? I had to take a second to digest that information. My voice came out uncertain, almost ashamed. It made my ego soar with pride. “No astral alicorn ever eats hay…” “But… why?” Another asked, emboldened by their prince’s question. I looked thoroughly embarrassed. “In our world, it is considered inedible and below us. No member of my family ever got to know its taste before today…” “But what do you eat then?” “All our food is thoroughly transformed and refined.” With plenty of growth hormones, preservatives and whatnot… and why is my brain still intact? Is it because I’m telling the truth? “It is the first time I see hay bread. Back home, my people would not dream of serving that.” Okay, laying it thick. Maybe I should n- “Oh no, your Majesty!” A panicked maid ran to my side, having heard the whole thing. “We are so sorry! We wouldn’t have dreamed of serving such low quality food had we known. We will make something more appropriate to your standings right away.” The poor girl scrambled to reach for the bread, her muscles shaking with fear at the horrified realization. A high pitched panicked squeak escaped her mouth when she felt my hoof against her shoulder. “It is perfectly fine, miss.” I gently pushed her away, smiling kindly. “As your guests, we would not dream on refusing food you have worked hard on to bake. Besides, as you can clearly see, my brother seemed to have appreciated.” Her eyes moved on to Tom, who was munching on the last quarter of his loaf. He was staring at us, crumbs all around his mouth. “Yeah, I like it. Can I get another one?” “I… I…” The maid stuttered, jaw hanging from shock. The tip of my wing pressed against her back, tying her down in place. “Please, there is no need for you to fret so much. If there is no bread left, that is no matter for concern. He shall have something else and it will also be fine.” …She looked about to roll over and faint. She had the biggest expression of incomprehension ever. “I… I will go see the chefs!” She ran. Gee… “As for you, little brother.” I frowned, picking up a napkin with a spell. “Show a little bit more restraint. There are crumbs of bread all over your face.” “Saaaam, you sound like Mom.” The colt squirmed, batted it away with a hit from a hoof and turned his face away from the piece of tissue. “Stop that. I can clean myself.” “Then, do it,” I ordered, waving the napkin in his face. Now grumbling, Tom wiped his face clean. I tried returning to my own meal now, but I stopped when I saw the faces of the ponies around me. A few had been whispering, the tone of which reminded me of old gossiping hens. “That was… unusual, Prince Ventus.” Blueblood frowned. “Oh, but my father always said that a pony’s character is measured in how he treats his inf- Wait, what did you call me?” You did NOT... “I called you Prince Ventus. The title is appropriate, considering your bloodline,” he said through gritted teeth. Pronouncing those words seemed to be the equivalent of ripping his heart from his chest for the guy. “After all, you ARE closely related to the princesses.” Fffffff-! Now we’re off the charts in terms of sueness! How did I not see that coming?! Long lost relative was one thing, that was rather hard to avoid, but suddenly being made princes! We’re doomed! …Screw it, we finish breakfast and then, we cast the spell to go back home. That was already the plan, but now it’s even more imperative we do. “Hey, does that mean I’m a prince too?” I rolled my eyes. Leave it to him to catch only that part. “Technically, yes.” “Sweet! Bro, we’re princes! That’s awesome!” We’re going to die. We’ll be retconned. It’s over, I thought grimly. There was nothing else to do than hope this had not aired yet so we’d have enough time to work on that ritual. Disheartened, I picked up a fork, the right one according to Blueblood, and put a piece of hay bread in my mouth. Heaven. That bread was like heaven. It tasted so good. Even cooled off, the thing was miles away from its closest competitor in terms of quality. It took all my willpower not to start gushing over it, especially in the face of my previous explanation in terms of food… Working against my stomach, I ate slowly, making a show of appreciating it, but not overly so. Hopefully, that would work. “You are drinking from the wrong side,” Blueblood remarked as I sipped a few drops of herbal tea. He was shooting a few glances around, the recipients of which had strangely dismayed expression. “I beg you pardon?” Come on, that can’t possibly be right! Who can be that stuck-up? Oh, right! “Your cup,” the unicorn helpfully pointed out. “The crest on it must be facing the opposite way, as to show your allegiance to the ponies in front of you.” After that, it was apparently my posture, my wings not being folded enough. So I had to clasp them against my sides, making it all the more hotter in the room for me. At least nopony was nagging on Tom, judging it to be my job, I supposed. That was good, even if the little squirt’s eyes sparkles whenever I was told to correct myself on something. It went on. And on. All breakfast long. I was getting progressively less patient, more likely to snap. My voice had long since gone dry, wits, razor sharp and my body language, tense. Heck, I was in a conversation with Blueblood, as the stallion had gotten progressively bolder with each mistake he had corrected. “Now, now, Prince Ventus. A royal figure cannot simply hand over their plates once they are done. It would be unsightly to do so.” Great, now I was imagining creating a tornado up his ass just to see how full of shit he was. That condescending… ARGH! “How peculiar. I have never heard of that before.” At this point, the mask had all but slipped away from my face. I was scowling. The bastard raised his nose a little, looking as smug as they come. “Is there no such concept of royalty amongst your midst, Prince Ventus?” The ‘how appropriate’ went unsaid. Haha, just go die in a hole, Blueblood. The happy thought gave me the strength to show an incredibly fake smile. “No, we indeed do not function in accord to a system of nobility. We find it to be an oppressive and primitive way to govern.” At the end of the table, a young stallion, at most my age, had spat out his coffee in a spray. It made it very hard for me not to start laughing when somepony had done a spit take. Tom, of course, found that to be uproariously funny. To the point he started to roll over on the floor, tears rolling down his cheeks. Chill out, buddy. Props had to be given to Blueblood though. Even though I had just insulted his way of living and that of his country – Crap, that was really moronic of me… –, the only hint of his mortally offended pride was a slight twitch of his ears. His voice was so cold it almost gave me shivers. “Oh, then please forgive us for not being as enlightened as you, Prince Ventus.” That sounded like ‘Buck you’… That actually sounded like a big fat ‘Buck you, you ignorant sin against ponykind’… To an alicorn. Wow, I might actually start to develop some respect for the pompous bastard. Heck, he’s the only one calling me out amongst the rest, even if all of them seem just as insulted. “If you wished it so, I might consider teaching you. That way you may come to be – how did you put it? – enlightened.” Oh, it was so hard to fight a grin at using his own condescending ways against him. I was surprised Blueblood could speak with his teeth grinding so hard against one another. “Oh, I am rather satisfied with my lifestyle, even if not as intellectually perfect as yours seem to be.” A sledgehammer hit the sides of my head. It almost knocked me over. Images flashed before my eyes. A pony that chokes on a promise he can’t make. A burning desire that leads to a greatly ingenious invention. Wings you can strap on, powered by a little unicorn magic… It hurt so much… My tone was not really friendly when I got control of my body again. “No doubt. The idle life of a useless thing like you must be nice. Not a damn effort ever made for the food or roof you get, with all the privilege of bossing ponies around as you like.” In response, somepony started choking. Oh, I have to keep scores on how many ponies lose their drink by spitting it all over. That’s like three so far. Two for me, one for Blueblood. “Useless?! How dare you?!” He turned red. “What would a stranger like you know about our hardship?” “Well, tell me, ‘Prince’ Blueblood. What do you have to your name other than a pretty seal on your birth certificate?” I felt the temperature drop. I might or might not be responsible for it. “I have my duties and I perform them, as I have been trained since birth to do so.” He huffed his chest, as if proud. “So you were groomed into the position?” I wanted to sneer. “What makes you so much greater than another pony that would have followed the same path, growing up?” “Any pony who would have followed the path that I have taken would have been of noble blood!” He responded with passion, as if he had stated the cold unchanging truth. It only made me roll my eyes. “And you fail to see how self-serving that logic is?” While a few seemed to ponder my words, Blueblood himself thoroughly refused to. “It is a fact! Nobility is the only defense Equestria has against anarchy!” If possible, he looked more arrogant than ever. Now that is just bullcrap. “Oh, what about the guards? Are they all nobles too?” “They come from families with great histories in the military, but they are no nobles! We are an elite! Somepony like you wouldn’t understand.” “Funny, I was under the impression ponies thought my brother and I are nobles, if only because we are alicorns related to Celestia.” “YOU’RE NOT A NOBLE!” Blueblood stood up, stomping a hoof against the table and shaking it in an outburst of rage. Three to four, I guess your friends aren’t used to seeing you forego protocol. “Yet, we are one generation away from Celestia herself. We are cousins. That’s what? One generation? Compared to your fifty generations, I know we must be intimidating but frankly, you need not bother. I cannot register you as anything but a pain in the neck, nothing more, nothing less.” Sputtering, the stallion struggled to stay coherent. “Our blood is pure. We have kept it that way for generations!” “So you’re inbred?” I deadpanned, smirking when I heard the sound of coughing around the table. Six to four, advantage: mine. “This is an outrage!” “Or simple logic, my ‘Prince’. Princess Platinum had a single child before her death.” Another flash. An alicorn teaching me about Equestria’s history. “For your blood to be so pure, there aren’t that many ways.” “Why, I never heard su-” “There is very little evidence that a bloodline as old as yours kept any of the qualities that made your ancestors so great, Blueblood. They were pioneers, grand inventor, servants of the Solar Crown. You barely qualify as one of the three.” “I am much more than that!” “Then tell me, what is your biggest dream?” “T-that is none of your bu-” “No, don’t bother. You’re right. It is irrelevant. It is quite unlikely that you will ever succeed in achieving it, whatever it might be.” Flashes. Images. Words. W-what? Not this again! I got a better look at the pony. He had a white coat. A blond mane… No… that’s a joke, right? It was him, albeit younger by a few years. Blueblood was the pony from those fake memories! H-he had wanted to fly away! To leave the life of a prince behind and soar through the sky, to see the world and explore. It was his voice I had heard in prayers. He had given up on all that. Anger. I was burning with so much… anger… The edge of my vision seemed to blur with barely concealed fury. The atmosphere had dropped from its previous liveliness. The sky, although clear of any clouds just like it was earlier, had grown hostile. One would not dare open their wings at this moment. My voice darkened the very air between us. “I believe it is time somepony drill the truth into your head. You will grow old, sick if you’re unlucky, but that is a simple fact, Blueblood. That time, you will have to look back on your life and see what you have accomplished. What great things did you do? What good things did you do? The bitter truth is as simple as they come, Prince, you will grow old and die. All that will be left of you will be a name!” He closed his mouth, swallowing a little saliva with some difficulties. I did not pause. “Someday… Someday, ponies will read your name in a book and wonder what you did in your life that got you into their history, because that much is a certainty.” He had the gall to look smug, the glorious idiot. “Yes, even if it is as a little footnote on the bottom of a page, you will at least be mentioned and remembered. You like the idea, don’t you? Have you ever stopped to think what will ponies hear about?” The hall was so silent. No movement, no words. Nothing but me and my hatred. I had nothing else, but a growing cold, a hole in my chest that could not be filled. Emptiness. “That day, the day your name will be in a book, will they read all about how you had the luck of being born to the right parents? Will that be the sole reason for Leon Polaris Blueblood’s inclusion in the world’s history? It is all I can possibly imagine you would be written about for! You are nothing more than a spoiled brat!” I pressed on, almost bumping into the stallion, locking my gaze into his so he would see and hear me out. He recoiled at the touch, looking at me with iris shrunken by fear. “But you’re not dead yet! You can still change! Maybe they will they read about a pony that treated everypony as equal? That went on and did more with his life than just the role he had been given when he was five? That tried to better himself his whole life without being a condescending flankhole about it? That brought some of the greatest changes in the history of Equestria? That went on and drew a map of the whole world?!” He could not look at me, not anymore. His eyes had fallen to the ground. Heart still beating with anger, I pushed my hoof against his chest, forcing him to back away from me. “Which one will they read about, ‘Prince’ Blueblood?! TELL ME! WHAT WILL THEY REMEMBER YOU FOR?!” Complete silence followed my angry rant. The stallion’s head hung low, ears drooped down and no boorish speech to grate the ears. He had gone silent. I must have dreamt the hitch of his shoulders or the sharp intake of breath that followed. Just vanish, you useless waste of a life… just jump out of a window… do us all the favor. “Perhaps one day I will read that book and see for myself. Right now, I already know which Blueblood I would read about.” I stood up, ready to leave. Tom was looking at me with wide eyes. “And really, that's kind of sad.” I started walking away. And Tom followed me outside, speechless. The nobles I left gaping in my wake would not recover completely for the better part of the morning. I had no idea how long it would take for Blueblood to just brush me off completely and go on with his life of being a royal pain to every pony he meets. We trotted past a servant carrying a tray of food. The pony in question stopped right in his track. “Sirs? Are you done with your meal?” I’m feeling a bit nauseous to tell the truth. A weird pressure had built up at the back of my eyes, pulsing through my eyesight. It made everything a little blurry. I wanted it to end. I wanted more clarity, cold precision would be good at this point. “Hay no! I’m still hungry! What d’you have?” Poor guy, Tom’s manners completely screwed his composure over. Were all nobles that much rigid with etiquette? Surely there had to be exceptions? “How does a bowl of fresh fruits with Prench cream and chocolate fondue sound, young sir?” I had to hide a grin. That sounded good to me. So, with him… “HAY YEAH!” He jumped in excitement, just before grabbing the tray with his magic. “Thank you very much, Sir.” I gave a bow of my head as acknowledgment, which seem more than those guys were receiving these days. He left us quickly, thinking to himself. We were left alone, in the middle of a hallway, with a tray full of food. Obvious solution is obvious. I laughed, taking the tray away from Tom, who loudly protested, until I sat down against the wall and placed the tray on the ground. Getting the hint, he dashed toward me, settling down as well. We shared the moment, it was lighthearted… Just spending a few more minutes enjoying simple things before we’d get to work about going back. My head was feeling light when I got hit by a ridiculous thought. Aw bucking hay… I totally did a redemption speech to an antagonist. Great, now I’m getting traits of a Mary Sue classic too. That’s disturbing… “Hey, Sam?” My little brother asked, between two bites. “Yes?” “Are we doing something special today?” Buck yes, we are. Going home. Special enough for you, Tom-tom? “Yeah, why?” “I’m just saying, can it wait just a little? ‘Cause I want to go see that hissy guy’s room.” That shocked me beyond words. Tom, of all people, wanted to talk to a pompous fool like Blueblood, after I had made it abundantly clear how much I loathed him? “H-hu-huuuh… w-why?” His grin was anything but nice. “I teleported a cake over his door. I wanna see his face when it happens.” And the winner is Calx Iugum, aka Blade Darkblaze, aka Tom, my favorite little brother, ever!