The Affection of Princess Nightmare Moon
Part 4: Figs, Bandaid!
Celestia had made a rare visit to her sister’s room, only to find the black alicorn sulking. The sun Princess could tell her sister was sulking, because she was staring listlessly into her fireplace and didn’t turn her head when she came in. Nightmare was nothing if not busy, busy, busy with one thing or another at all times. She couldn’t stand to sit idle. Frowning with concern, Celestia closed the door behind her and approached. “Nightie…?” she asked softly.
“My attempts to a stallion’s heart were not as fluid as I’d hoped.” Nightmare blurted before her sister even asked, hanging her head. Celestia clambered onto the giant sitting pillow with her. When they were side by side it was easier to see how deeply troubled Nightmare was. Celestia opened a white wing, putting it over her shoulder. Turning her head, the white alicorn summoned a brush from the nearby vanity to soothe her sister. Leaning and lighting it with solar magic, she ran it through Nightmare’s whispy locks.
“Want to talk about it?” Celestia said gently.
“No.” she said poutily. There was a long silence of brushing and staring at the fire. “Yes.” She finally admitted. “But only with thee. Promise not to divulge?” she said, turning her head.
“Of course.” Celestia said, smiling in amusement. They sidled closer together so that nopony could hear them.
“I sought to court my former nurse, Bandaid.” Nightmare told her, lowering her voice a bit. “I offered him my heart and a black flower, and he fainted. Then, we attended the theatre, and I wept over the play. I am cursed.” At Celestia’s blank look, she went into greater detail and told her all about what had been happening lately.
“I never thought I would see you wanting a relationship, Nightie.” Celestia murmured, sounding impressed. Nightmare gave her a look, and the white mare chuckled. “You used to only take lovers, not companions.” She ran the brush over and over through Nightmare’s mane as she spoke. “This is a big change for you.”
“I’d offer him all the stars in the sky if I thought it would please him, but somehow I think he would merely faint again.” Nightmare said crossly. Celestia fought a smirk. “Stallions should not be so complex, sister! The male mind is not a complicated thing. As long as they are being petted, kissed and provided for, should they not be happy?” she looked at her sister over her shoulder.
Celestia chuckled a little. “W-well, it’s a bit more complex than that, Nightie.” It was going to be an ordeal to describe love to a goddess of lust, fertility, and wine. She understood the physical bits, sure, but the companionship and other parts escaped her. It was all new territory. “There’s a bit more to it than a flick of the tail and a charming giggle now.”
“Oh yes, you once had a companion! While I was away!” Nightmare said, smiling with all her fangs. “Thy descendant Blueblood is proof of this.” She stroked her chin a bit, thoughtful. Then her face lit up. “You must tell me how that all came about, perhaps I will learn to better make myself appealing to Bandaid.”
There was a long silence while Celestia considered. It was an old memory, though carefully recorded in history books to those that went looking. The white alicorn hadn’t had a romantic interest in quite some time, but then again she’d not met a stallion like her last since then. Celestia smiled, her eyes seeing the past. “It was quite a long time ago, I had a husband. He was a mortal pony, so of course his lifespan was over in mere decades… ohh, but I loved him.” She slowed her brushing, cheeks pinkening.
“And the two of you had a daughter, if I read the histories correctly? A Pegasus mare?” Nightmare asked, smiling. “I cannot imagine a pregnant Tia cantering about the palace!” she giggled scandalously, raising a hoof to her mouth. Celestia opened her mouth to scold her embarrassedly, but Nightmare quickly went on. “But yes, tell us of his courtship.” She settled to be quiet for a time, eager to learn from the sun Princess.
Celestia was quiet, trying to sort her thoughts before speaking. Nightmare looked at her eagerly. “Well, we met at the Grand Galloping Gala one year. He spilled an entire foodtray down my front on accident. It got all over my fur and in my mane.” She smirked a little. “The guards thought it was an assassination attempt, and tackled him to the ground. I had to go fetch him from prison after I’d cleaned up, hahaha!” her cheeks colored at the memory.
“You did not imprison him for such an embarrassment?” Nightmare Moon asked in earnest.
“Oh no! No, it was an honest mistake.” Celestia chuckled, shaking her head. “I went and released him from the dungeons under the palace, clearing his name. He was so grateful, and so very nervous too. He’d of course been fired from his position as a servant at the palace.”
“You bedded a SERVANT?!” Nightmare gaped in awe. “The scandal must’ve been extraordinary!” She frowned a moment, suddenly remembering. “Then again, Bandaid was my private nurse, so my hypocrisy doth runneth over…” she frowned herself into silence so Celestia could go on.
The sun Princess’ eyes were still seeing the past as she spoke. “Anyway. He asked if there was anything he could ever do to make it all up to me, so I told him I never got to dance at the gala. You should have seen his face, ahah!” she snickered a bit, shaking her head. “Nopony ever asks us Princesses to dance, as you well remember, so it was always so boring. So, we went to the royal gardens that night in the middle of the night—”
“And he mounted you like a vicious, virile beast?” Nightmare said, grinning like a hyena.
“No!” Celestia swatted her sister’s head with the brush, blushing dark. “Hush! My story, Nightie!” she giggle-snorted a little, holding her face with a hoof. “We danced together by a water fountain, under the stars…” she trailed off dreamily, the brush pausing for a time. Nightmare’s face softened at the wispy expression her sister had. Was that the look she had when she fawned over Bandaid? Surely not. Maybe she would practice it later, though. “He was so much shorter than I, haha, it was all we could do but to lean into one another and shift our weights back and forth. But it was the thought that counted.” She smiled, seeing her stallion’s face in her mind’s eye. “He said we should dance again sometime.”
“A bold one!” Nightmare whispered, smiling a bit.
“Yes. So, when the next large social event came that I attended, I made sure he was there and… well, we danced together.” Celestia said.
“The political scandal must’ve been a firestorm! A princess and a servant!”
“You said Bandaid was your nurse?” Celestia said, looking at her sideways.
“Yes, but I care not what anypony thinks of me. Thou does.” Nightmare said with concern. “What happened to him?” she flicked her ear so it wouldn’t catch in the bristles of the brush while Celestia worked on it.
“W-well, after that first dance we did in public, many assumed he was my royal consort.” Celestia said. “We were just friends at the time, but we thought it was funny, so we played along. Then, as the months went by, it became true.” The white mare blushed a little. “We made love one afternoon in a corner of the royal garden’s hedge maze… and… well…” Celestia went silent after a time, suddenly losing all her courage to speak of such things.
Nightmare lowered her voice. “Thou became pregnant?” she whispered with interest. She leaned until they were almost nose to nose.
“Oh no no, that didn’t come until much later. I can control my fertility as much as you can, sister.” Celestia smiled a little. They were gods, they could certainly do that. “We were married before our foal came along.”
Nightmare sat in quiet contemplation for a time. “It sounds like the pair of thee were fast friends, and then later lovers.” She said evenly. She stared into the hearth. “Perhaps I have been going about this all wrong…” she stroked her chin, looking at the ceiling thoughtfully.
Celestia smiled gingerly when Nightmare turned and took the brush from her. Setting it aside, she gestured for one of her sister’s wings. When the white span was laid out in front of her, she leaned and nibbled around for broken feathers. She found one, pulling sharply and spitting it into the fire. Celestia flinched, but soon felt better when the sting turned into a nice warmth. “You know Nightie, I know you like to be in charge and such,” the white mare said, “But did you think perhaps of letting your stallion choose an activity or two for you? If you’d like to court him, maybe find out what he likes and participate in that?”
“Hrm.” Nightmare Moon nodded a little, ruffling her sister’s feather’s back and forth. Finding a trio of feathers out of alignment, she gave them a mild lick and made them lay flat like they were supposed to. “Well, he likes Ponies and Castles. I know that much. Tis a game full of numbers and statistics. Some sort of play-pretend with ink and paper.” The black goddess murmured.
“Isn’t he a bit old for that?” Celestia said, concerned.
“Aren’t thou a bit old for mortal stallions?” Nightmare snapped defensively.
Celestia chuckled a little, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean it like that, haha. I suppose everypony has a hobby.” She extended her wing to help the wet feathers lay down while Nightmare spat a third into the fire.
Nightmare shrugged a bit. “He has books of it, perhaps we will play together sometime. We played once, while I was hiding from Chrysalis in his apartment.”
Celestia suddenly winced, her eyes widening a bit. She’d forgotten why she was visiting her sister in the first place. “Speaking of,” the white alicorn said with a rather guilty smile. “I wanted to talk to you about our estranged sister.”
“Will you finally allow me to lead an army into the badlands and smite her head from her shoulders?” Nightmare said playfully. She snorted at the look her sun sister gave her. “Pfft, do not giveth me that glare. I spent a thousand years on the moon because of her treachery, I have every right to pull her head off if opportunity provides.”
“Mother wouldn’t allow it, and you know that.” Celestia was suddenly stern.
“Mother has not spoken to us for millennia, and she allowed me to be sealed unjustly in the moon!” Nightmare squawked angrily, biting one of Celestia’s wing joints sharply. The sun Princess yelped, then wapped her with the offended wing. “I do not care what she thinks anymore.” Nightmare turned her head away with a grump, frowning angrily.
Celestia sighed. Nightmare and their mother had never gotten along especially well. Even amongst her own family and siblings, the sun goddess sometimes had to play diplomat. The five children of Faust rarely saw their mother, she was running all of existence after all. “I still think she would disapprove of killing your own sister.” Celestia soothed, stroking Nightmare’s long back. When the ebony alicorn relaxed a bit, she spoke again. “But, getting back to what I was about to tell you,” she lifted her other wing and got a scroll from the dainty bag hidden underneath. “Chrysalis wrote to me a few days ago.” She gestured to the letter. “It seems she’s finally strong enough to travel again, and she wants to visit.”
Nightmare’s mouth went happily agape. “The perfect chance to tear her in two!” she said joyously.
“Nightmare!” Celestia scolded.
“She sucked the love from me, allowed me to be sealed in the moon, returned to take my nurse’s place, and then tried to murder me!” Nightmare Moon cried in disbelief. “And you would allow her to visit us in our own home?! You invite nothing but chaos into our country!” she gestured harshly.
“Nightie if you would just—!”
“No! No no no a thousand times no!” Nightmare stood, stamping a hoof angrily. “She may not come here! If she does, I will mount her head on my wall for all the damage she’s caused me!” She lifted a leg, stamping it harder. The marble floor cracked, making Celestia flinch.
“I’ll keep her out of your sight.” Celestia soothed. “She said she wants to visit me, anyway, not you. She’s not stupid.” The white mare smirked just a little. “She wants to make reparations, rather than let the fresh wound fester. It’s been a long time since all five of us have been on earth at the same time.”
“I’ll fester her FACE! With my hoof! And a battle axe!” Nightmare swore.
Celestia grabbed her sister by her cheekbones and kissed her to shut her up. Nightmare swooned openly, falling onto her belly. She’d not been expecting that. Celestia NEVER engaged like that, it was always Nightmare who went first. The black mare quieted, panting, more than a little placated. “You’re going to be busy figuring out how to court your stallion, yes?” she waited for Nightmare to nod. “Then I’ll keep Chrysalis by my side and watch her closely.” Celestia said comfortingly. “If she sticks a hoof, or a fang, where it should not be— I’ll skin her alive a second time.” The sun princess offered a dainty smile that made her sister giggle. It only happened once every eon or so, but Nightmare’s sister could say some truly vicious things when she wanted to. Brr! But she was right, it was time to do some research.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Nightmare poked her head into the ‘Dice and Dragons’, a game store on a corner in Canterlot. Her two guards entered with her, eyeing the jingling bell above the glass door. Being almost time and a half the height of a normal pony, she stuck out like a sore thumb. The teenaged colt behind the counter’s mouth went agape and he bowed. “P-Princess Nightmare Moon!” he stuttered. “D-d-do you have the right store? This is Dice and Dragons, we sell trading cards and board games!”
“Verily, shopkeeper. But tell nopony of my attendance here.” Nightmare gazed around slowly with a frown. All the brightly-colored boxes and action figures and memorabilia assaulted her eyes. The two guards stationed themselves at the door, as not to impede their Princess. “Where to begin?” she murmured, moving from display to display. The black alicorn leaned, frowning over the rows and rows of things.
There were Yugimon: The Gathering cards, Journey to the Center of Equestria, Hi Ho Cherry-O, Liar’s Dice, and countless other board games and spectacles. There was a magic bucket that spat plastic balls that would only stop if you got all five of one color into it. Murder mystery games that expected you to dress up using the props that came in its big box. She paused at ‘Battle of the Sexes’, but that was just a boring card game of questions and answers. A tall shelf had a wide variety of paintable little pewter figurines (out of reach of foals, of course). Posters lined the walls on every inch of available space. There were even a few model planes hanging from the ceiling. Games with interesting names like Sorry!, Trouble, and Crossfire were stacked neatly next to each other. A hoofball that hadn’t moved in decades sat, lonely and deflated, in a corner of a low shelf. Each demanded her attention as she scanned her eyes over them.
“What a strange subculture you are a part of, dearest Bandaid…” Nightmare muttered, arching her eyebrow. “But if this is where one goes to find Ponies and Castles…” She reared up a bit, a rare thing for her, to peer at the top shelf in one aisle. There was a little train set there that moved when you pushed the button. She delighted over it for a few moments, but then remembered her mission. Then, finally, she saw it. There was a cardboard display in one of the aisles with the Ponies and Castles logo on it. Cantering forward, she read the advertisement. ‘Maw of Madness, Journey to the Bottom of Castle Crowtower’s Dungeons! New Campaign Book!’ The artwork was of a short-tailed unicorn mare, levitating a sword and torch as she peered down a series of crumbling stairs. She was oddly shaped, and Nightmare Moon stared at her trying to figure out why. “This was not very well made.” She tsked with disapproval. “No mare’s haunches are shaped that way.” She eyed the artwork. Perhaps it was meant to be a sexualized fantasy of some sort? Pffft. Showing stallions something they couldn’t have to sell a game, how sad. Her eyes flicked down. ‘On Store Shelves February 12th, 20XX!’ The Princess frowned, that was almost two weeks away. Drat.
Tink-a-link. The door to the shop came open. “Hey Deck Cut, how’s it going?” Nightmare froze, eyes widening. She knew that voice. Peering between some shelves, she gave an audible little squeak. Bandaid! Bandaid had come into the store! If he caught her here he would chastise her for spying on his interests! Looking around in a panic, she suddenly remembered her guards. Where had they gone? She spotted them a few aisles over, pretending to be customers. Good. Smart. Very smart of them, to blend in however they could… even if they were wearing their armor. Seizing two large board game boxes, the Princess slammed them together on the shelf so she could see but not be seen. “Have you got any of the new fig sets yet? I really want one of those new Silver Streak the Slayers.” Figs? Was he shopping for food here? Nightmare had not seen any.
“I do, but you ain’t gonna like it.” The shopkeeper said, wincing. Nightmare sidled by in the background, using a cardboard display as cover. Her massive black wings stuck out, but she thought she was hidden enough since Bandaid had not turned to see her. She moved carefully, trying to get a bit closer to listen. “Silver Streak got moved from uncommon up to the mythic rare list at the last second.”
“Really?!” Bandaid groaned, sagging. He leaned, pressing his nose to the glass of the display case. “Why?! That’s stupid!” he complained.
“I know, but I just sell ‘em, I don’t make ‘em.” Deck Cut smiled sympathetically. “Here, I’ll even let you hold her. Might be worth the fifty bits?” he leaned and opened the display case. Nightmare Moon’s ears perked. Was he buying a little toy for his Ponies and Castles games? He’d had some plastic figurines (ah! FIG! Figurine!) when they’d played with the twins at his apartment… oh wait, that was Chrysalis in disguise, using his knowledge of the game to throw them off. That bitch. She couldn’t believe her sister was letting her visit...
“Fifty bits, ugghhhh…” Bandaid moaned, holding something so small Nightmare couldn’t see it from across the room. “Why are my hobbies so expensive?” she could see him considering for a time, then sigh and put whatever it was back on the counter. “I can’t do it, Cut, sorry.”
“Ahhh, well. She’ll be here if you decide you want her that bad.” Deck Cut said, putting something back in the display case. “Not every game shop’s got one of her, you know.”
“Yeah, yeah I know.” Bandaid smirked, staring longingly into the glass display case. “But hey, gotta be the grown-up now and then, right? I can’t blow all my money on this like I did when I was in school.” Nightmare craned her neck, trying to see exactly what he’d been pining to buy. She quickly hid behind a stack of board games when he cast his gaze about the room. Bandaid conversed with the shopkeeper for a time while Nightmare spied, then he bought a pack of Yugimon: The Gathering cards and left.
As soon as the brown stallion was out of sight, the black alicorn EXPLODED from the aisle, sending a shower of games flying in all directions. “Whatever that was that he almost bought, we demand it!” she squawked dramatically, eyes bright and starry. “What was it?! Show us!”
“Yeep!?” Deck Cut sank behind the counter, nearly having a heart attack. Having seen his friend he’d almost forgotten the alicorn skulking about his store like she had been for the past half an hour. “Y-you mean this?” he opened the glass case and gingerly reached for something.
Nightmare leaned eagerly until he placed a plastic figurine on the case between them. It was a zebra, with a silver stripe over her nose and a curved sword in her teeth. She was covered in ceremonial garb, and spattered with blood from battle. She was poised on her back hooves, and looked pretty darn vicious for being just two inches tall. The alicorn lifted it to her face with magic, turning it over and over. There was lettering on the bottom of its base. Silver Streak the Slayer. There was a little star next to it, denoting its rarity. “Hrm. Bandaid wants thee…?” the Princess murmured. She didn’t understand the object of her affection’s obsession with tiny plastic mares, but if that was what he liked… “We’ll take it.” She said, nodding firmly. Reaching for her purse, she paid him the full fifty bits. Deck Cut looked positively blown away. A Princess, buying things in his store?! The guys would never believe him. “Guards, come!” she said over her shoulder as she turned to leave, little treasure in tow. Who needed giant theatres, magical black roses and divine sex appeal? She'd been trying wayyyy too hard at this. She had Ponies and Castles to woo dear Bandaid’s heart with!
End of Part 4