//------------------------------// // Discord and the Doctor—Part 1 (b) // Story: The Majestic Tale (of a Mad-Pony in a Box) // by R5h //------------------------------// We now return to Discord and the Doctor—Part 1. Running. The Doctor dashed through the streets of Ponyville, still hearing Discord's booming voice. Finally something I can do. He looked around for shelter. After being thrown, he'd decided to cut his losses and just hide. Not temporarily, until the time was right. Not out of mercy, to try to spare his enemies. The Doctor was hiding because he could think of nothing else to do, and his foe could do everything. There would be no moment of opportunity worth waiting for. He was totally unfit for dealing with this threat. Within the past hour he'd managed to die, fall into another universe, turn into a horse, and witness—possibly cause—the resurrection of a malevolent mismatched dragon with seemingly unlimited power, whose sole motivation seemed to be mass terror and destruction. Eat your hearts out, Master. And I've only got the faintest of intuitions of how he can be so powerful. There was one consolation: he'd figured out how to put one hoof in front of the other without falling down. At least I can run. But the Doctor had no sonic screwdriver, no TARDIS, and no trust. Good job, Discord. Telling the citizens of Ponyville just how friendly the two of us are. Telling them that I set you free, very clever. As he galloped, the Doctor saw panicked horses slamming their shutters. He couldn't blame them for their fear, but he wasn't expecting anybody to offer help this time. So, when the Doctor spied a set of unshuttered windows, he decided to help himself and galloped straight through the door. Inside was a smallish living room, a set of stairs to the second floor, and a mint-green unicorn with a picture of a harp on her flank, sitting on a couch. A mint-green unicorn with a picture of a harp on her flank, sitting on a couch. The Doctor stopped for a moment to process this fact and to cherish the novelty of that phrase. It's good, appreciating the small things in life. The unicorn in question didn't seem to have noticed him, and in fact she was not so much sitting as quaking. There was an old-fashioned-looking radio on a table near her couch, emitting nothing but static now that Discord's speech was done. Suddenly, Discord's voice echoed through the house. “Doc, Doc, Doc,” he heard Discord call. The unicorn jumped. “Where are you? Do me a favor and just come back. I've got more important things to do than track down a genocidal hypocrite—oops, should have kept that secret private.” The Doctor heard his chuckle—a deep chuckle, and deeply unsettling. “You want to play hide and go seek? Fine, you win, olly olly oxen free! Now get back here. I don't have all day.” To emphasize this, the sun fell out of the sky and the moon rose high. Night had fallen in a second. “But that's impossible!” exclaimed the Doctor, pushing his head out the window to look up at the moon. “It was day just a moment ago!” Then he heard a horrified squeak and turned around to see the unicorn looking straight at him. After several seconds, the Doctor decided to break the silence; one of them had to, and she did not seem willing. “Hello there! I'm the Doctor,” he said, putting on his cheeriest smile and getting another terrified squeak for his efforts. He grimaced. “Yes, that Doctor, the one Discord's been yelling about, but we are not. Friends. And I was just wondering if I could... well... hide here for a bit.” Again not a single coherent response. “Ooh, bad move, Doc.” The Doctor whipped around to face the door as Discord's voice boomed in. “Turns out I can read a Time Lord's mind as easily as a pony's, remember? I can smell your inner fears, your foibles, your anxieties... like how now you're worrying about the poor unicorn behind you. It really pulls at my heartstrings.” He giggled for a few seconds. Giggling is always a bad sign. “Leave her alone.” The Doctor strode from the house and looked into the night sky, but Discord wasn't there. “I know it's me you want!” “But of course! I am what I eat. I feed on chaos, Doc, and you are my entree. But a gourmet like me...” The Doctor turned back to the house, just in time to see Discord appear next to the unicorn. “... learns to appreciate the appetizer.” The unicorn's pupils shrank to pinholes, and she began to hyperventilate. Then, she screamed: “BON BON!” The Doctor had not noticed, but there was a door at the back of the living room. It burst open, revealing a new pony. Her hair and tail were each arranged in three plaits, which curled into balls at the end. More importantly, though, they were gray. She was gray all over. “Aww, does widdle Lywa needs me to save hew fwom big mean Discowd?” Now 'Lywa' turned to her with tears in her eyes at her former friend's cruelty. Discord magicked up a second couch and some popcorn at the side of the room, and sat down to enjoy the show. “Bon Bon? But—but—bu—bu—” “Buh buh buh buh buh buh—boo hoo,” Bon Bon spat back. “I'm tired of sticking up for you, kiddo. Try dealing with your own problems for once, and stop being such a sniveling baby.” She turned tail and walked back out, leaving Lyra to sob. “Oh Lywa, you don't need friends.” Discord laughed his way through this sentence, delighted by this turn of events. “You certainly don't need any help from the only friend who'd ever dream of sticking up for you, do you? Chin up there...” Lyra continued to sob at the floor, so Discord swooped over to her and grabbed her by the jaw. “I said, chin. Up.” He yanked her face so that it faced his own, and the Doctor saw his eyes turn from yellow into a phenomenal spectrum of colors—red, blue, green, everything in between, and more. “I'm telling you Discord, once and for all, end this now!” The Doctor stepped in front of Lyra and looked straight into Discord's eyes, expecting to suffer whatever fate would have been hers. Instead, the dragon's eyes reverted to normal, and he groaned in exasperation. “Ugh! I tell you, it's all nag nag nag with this nag here.” Discord sighed and marched ostentatiously toward the outside door. “Well, have it your way, Doc. If you're so concerned with one little pony, I'll content myself with spreading chaos across the rest of the world. Have fun trying to 'save the day'!” The sun rose right on cue, and Discord left the building—avoiding the door and instead bursting through the ceiling with an almighty crash. There's no way to know that he's not coming back. “Don't worry. You're safe now,” the Doctor lied. He turned back to Lyra, who held her head in her hooves. “It's okay,” he said, but still she sobbed. The door in back opened, and the mare from earlier poked her head back in. “Is he gone?” she asked, all traces of mockery and sarcasm missing from her voice. “Oh thank Celestia, it worked!” She rushed to Lyra and threw her forelegs around the unicorn's quivering body. “He's gone now, Lyra. He's gone.” After about half a minute of this, the Doctor felt the need to speak up. “Hello there, miss... Bon Bon, was it?” Bon Bon looked up like she'd just noticed him. “Sorry to interrupt, but weren't you acting like you were trying to break Lyra's spirit?" Bon Bon narrowed her eyes, but Lyra spoke before she could. “Exactly... acting.” She was still sniffling a little, but Lyra suddenly seemed to be doing much better, and even managed a short laugh. “She was acting!” “Pardon?” “Um, you see....” Lyra moved herself to a sitting position on the couch—a curiously humanoid sitting position, with legs hanging toward the floor and keister on the cushion. Her friend didn't seem to find anything wrong with this unnatural pose. “Well, you know how Discord does that thing where he flips ponies' brains, right? Like he did last time? The idea was that when Discord came in to our house, Bon Bon would act like she'd been flipped already, so he'd just leave since his work was done. And it worked!” She smiled, though the tears were still fresh on her face. “You're gray all over,” the Doctor protested to Bon Bon. She grinned—revealing perfectly white teeth—and wiped her foreleg on the couch's arm. When she had finished, the arm was gray and her leg was cream-colored. “Oh, body paint...” the Doctor breathed. “So your plan was actually to fool a self-described mind-reading god of chaos?” Bon Bon's grin disappeared. “What, you think you can just come in my house—our house—and criticize Lyra's plan?” She glowered at the Doctor, who went right on the defensive. “Not at all, I think it was brilliant—” “What would your plan be, Mr. Smart Guy?” “Oh, well.” The Doctor tried to disarm his assailant with a grin. “I just sort of make it up as I go along.” It didn't work. “Well, feel free to go along now. Door's over there.” She pointed at the front door. “Don't let it hit you on the way out.” “... I'm sorry?” Usually I'd be able to charm her pretty easily. She must be really abrasive, or I'm off my game. Maybe because I'm a horse now. “Ooh, excuse me, I'm sorry, that was too subtle for you.” The Doctor started as he heard his own voice, perfectly mimicked, coming from her mouth. She returned to a more normal tone and continued, “Leave. You're the one that brought Discord to our house, and you nearly got my friend brainwashed. So get out.” “Bon Bon....” Lyra poked her friend in the side, distracting her from staring the Doctor down. “He saved me from Discord. He's the reason why Discord left at all.” “But...” “Let him stay. Please.” After a long few seconds, Bon Bon gave in. “Guhhhhh, fine.” She rolled her eyes and turned away from the Doctor. “Thank you so much.” The Doctor changed his own voice to the sincerest one he could manage. “And I wasn't joking earlier.... Your plan was brilliant.” Bon Bon smiled a little, then seemed to remember that she didn't like the Doctor and clamped the corners of her mouth back down. Heheheh... still got it. “But I still don't understand how it worked!” he continued. “He can read minds! Well, he can read my rather exceptional mind, which certainly means he can read yours.” Bon Bon looked offended. “Oh come on, I'm a Time Lord. A mind like mine goes with the territory—but how did your plan work at all?” She spoke to him despite her annoyance. She's warming up nicely. “Discord is so arrogant that if he thinks you've been brainwashed, he won't even check your head to be sure. I mean, the last time he showed up, he didn't realize that all six Elements of Harmony had broken free of his control.” “Hangonaminnit, did you say Elements of Harmony?” “Waitjustasec, did you say Time Lord?” The Doctor and Lyra spoke simultaneously. Thus began an epic bout of stammering, as each insisted the other go first, until the Doctor finally persuaded her to begin. “You said you're a... Time Lord? What does that mean?” “Actually, who the hay are you?” interrupted Bon Bon, as the Doctor opened his mouth to talk. “All I've heard is that Discord called you the Doctor—what kind of name is that?” Then, she realized she was interrupting and apologized—to Lyra. “Sorry about that.” The Doctor chose to ignore this. “Being a Time Lord means,” he said, “that I'm... well, among other things I'm very smart and I've got two hearts. Actually, hold on, did both hearts make it to this body?” He lifted his hoof and pressed it to his chest, feeling around. “Hmm... oh there they are, molto bene! So this body is a sort of duplicate of the old one! Except as a horse, with,” he finished, looking at his rump, “those hourglass tattoos—a bit lacking on subtlety.” “What do you mean, 'this' body?” Bon Bon muttered. “But if you're a Time Lord, and you've got an hourglass cutie mark, then can you time travel or something?” asked Lyra. Cutie mark? That's what they call it? “Yes, if I had my TARDIS. Which I don't. I can't even reach the old girl; she's tucked away in another universe....” The Doctor got distracted, thinking of his home for the past millennium or so. “Sorry, is this going somewhere?” “Hey! Don't be rude to her!” retorted Bon Bon. “Don't be rude? Oi, do they have a phrase on this planet that goes anything like 'pot to kettle'?” “I have no idea what you're talking about.” “It means that you're no girl to be calling other people rude—and hang on, what are you doing, taking notes?” This last question was directed at Lyra. Immediately after receiving her answer from the Doctor, she'd dashed to a nearby chest of drawers, pulled out a ragged-looking piece of paper and quill, and started scribbling furiously, only pausing once to look at a nearby clock. The Doctor walked toward her. “Can I take a look at that piece of paper?” Lyra handed it to him. Or maybe she's hoofing it to me, the Doctor supposed. On it were a few cramped scrawls: 2:02 PM/July 3, 1002/The back hall downstairs/44 Hoofridge Drive/Ponyville/Equestria. “I don't understand," he said. “Um....” Lyra waved her hoof nonspecifically in the air, as if she wasn't quite sure what she was trying to convey. “Okay, so I kind of think up a lot of weird contingencies, right? Like... what if Discord came back? Which totally wasn't ever supposed to happen, but then it did... oh, and another one. What if I knew I'd have a time machine at some point in the future?” “All right,” the Doctor said with a shrug. “What would you—” vworp... He froze as he heard an impossible sound. Vworp... “I think I'd send it to myself in the past.” said Lyra, beaming at the door Bon Bon had used. The door from behind which air was rushing and the sound was coming. Vworp... The most wonderful sound. Vworp... Vworp... kdunk. The Doctor was still for a moment more. Then he dashed to the door, grabbed the doorknob in his teeth, and pulled. For the first time all day, as he looked at what stood behind the door, a joyful smile appeared on his face. Filling up the hallway in front of him was a big blue box. Bold letters on the top read “POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX”, and a white sign on the door gave directions on how to open it, which the Doctor did not bother to look at. The same old light was on the roof, the same opaque windows on the doors... it was not much to look at, but it was the most beautiful thing the Doctor had ever seen. “Hello, old girl,” he breathed. “That's your time machine? It's kind of small.” He realized that Bon Bon's snark was just a way of trying to cover up her astonishment, and his smile grew even wider as he turned to Lyra. “So the note was spatio-temporal coordinates! Lyra, if I had arms I'd hug you right now because that's absolutely brilliant!” Then, a concerned expression replaced the smile. “But hang on; I shouldn't have a TARDIS here and this is probably an ontological paradox.... Oh, WHO CARES!” He pushed the doors right open and ran in laughing. “Hello, you beauty!” He stuck his head back through the doorway and beckoned to the two mares with his hoof. “Come on in!” They followed him. “You know, it actually says 'Pull to Open' on the sign...” Bon Bon began as she and Lyra entered the box. Then the two of them were silent. As one, they ran back out and looked at it again. Clearly it still fit inside their back hall—at least the outside did. But the inside.... The Doctor watched them re-enter and try to take it all in: the huge golden hemisphere, about as big as their whole house. The otherworldly green pillar in the center bursting from the immensely complicated central control panel at its base. The constructions around the edges of the room, somewhat like pillars or golden tree roots, or gigantic growths of coral. He noted with pleasure that Bon Bon had nothing to say. “So?” He leaned with a mad grin against the central console. “Any thoughts? Any first impressions?” “It's... it's....” Words failed Bon Bon for a few seconds longer. “It's bigger on the inside!” Lyra exclaimed. “I KNOW! Isn't it just!” The Doctor turned back and gave the central pillar a little happy nuzzle before noticing a familiar note tacked to the console. “Oh look, Lyra! It's your coordinates! 2:02 PM, July 3, 1002.... Wait, there's something on the back.” He flipped it over and saw an instruction which he read aloud: “Activate Information Protocol Zero-One-Zero.” “Yes, subtle, isn't it: Information Protocol Ten.” The Doctor turned back around at the sound of his own voice. There he was as a hologram, slightly translucent and projected to be 'standing' on the floor in front of Lyra and Bon Bon. It was him in every detail except for one—he was wearing a fitted, pinstriped blue suit, which managed to both resemble his old suit and avoid looking ridiculous on a horse. The present Doctor joined his companions, relishing their wonderstruck expressions. “This is the Doctor speaking. Hello, Doctor.” “Is that a hologram?” asked Lyra. “Of course it's a hologram, Lyra!” responded the hologram, taking her aback. “Now don't talk anymore, because the past me won't remember enough for me to be able to respond directly to your questions. Now, this is a recorded message, because I've got a few things I need to say to you three. First of all, Lyra and Bon Bon....” The future Doctor looked down for a moment and sighed before looking back up. There was a strange coldness in his eyes. “Lyra, thanks again for the TARDIS. And if memory serves, you are still covered in paint, Bon Bon. The closest shower's at the end of the third corridor off of that second alcove right there....” He pointed behind himself and to his left, at the walkway which led deeper into the TARDIS. Then he reconsidered, and pointed behind himself and to his right. “No, there. You can't miss it.” “The closest shower? How big is this place?” Bon Bon muttered, trotting past the tangible Doctor and straight through the hologram. This struck the Doctor as a rather rude thing to do to a hologram. “And finally, you. Me. I'm sorry to have to say this, but you need to hear it now, because Discord is coming, and it's better if you hear it from... well, yourself.” The future Doctor paused to breathe. “Discord isn't lying. You're the reason he was able to return.” The present Doctor slumped his shoulders in resignation. He'd suspected as much, just as he'd suspected the explanation that the future Doctor rattled off. “You emerged in front of his statue because it was a local weak point in time and space; he was able to escape because the power of the Time Vortex further weakened that point, letting him slip the magical bonds tied to that spot. It should have taken two thousand years to break free from that statue/... It only took one.” And I'd been feeling so good just a moment ago. “But this is important: he's more powerful than he was last time, and that's because he's feeding off your inner turmoil. So you need to make peace with yourself, because he's coming for you, and if he can keep feeding on you, you'll never beat him.” The Doctor snorted. Of all the beings in all the universes that could land in front of that statue, it had to be the one with enough guilt and angst to power a star system... or resurrect a god. Figures that it should be me. He caught himself. It wasn't my fault. Certainly not this time, and almost none of the other times either. I couldn't control where I landed in this universe. But if I'd wasted less time before regenerating, would any of this have happened? That's not fair. That was not time wasted, and I had no way of knowing this was even possible. He was distracted from his internal argument by the hologram, who seemed to be finishing up. “Anyway, your clothes are on the coat tree by the door, though you'll have to wait a bit before putting them on. And one more thing, Doctor... trust her.” And with that, the future Doctor disappeared, leaving the present Doctor quite confused. “Trust her? Who's her?” he asked himself. “Oh my goodness, it is bigger on the inside! How delightfully impossible!” The Doctor and Lyra froze, then turned as one to see Discord's silhouette against the open doors. “Well, Doc, I knew that if you were left to your own devices, you'd come up with something good. But this?” Discord threw his arms out to either side and spun in place. “This takes the cake! An impossible time machine shaped like a police box? What a fantastic combination of laughably absurd....” He grinned darkly. “And the perfect vehicle to spread chaos to every point in pony history. And when I get bored with the timeline of this little world? Who knows, I might just visit the next planet. And the next. And the next!” With each line, he stalked a step closer to the control panel. Lyra squeaked and cowered, but the Doctor had a quite different reaction: he leaped to the control panel and grabbed a lever. “Get out of here right now, Discord.” He flexed his foreleg. “Or I pull this.” “Oh my!” Discord affected surprise. “Dearie me, whatever does that do? Oh wait—I know already, but why not explain it for the sake of your friend Lyra. Or is she your friend?” Discord swooped in and came face to face with the Doctor. “After all, friends don't imprison friends for all eternity over personal vendettas.” Lyra's head shot up in alarm, and she looked at the Doctor. “What does he mean, Doctor?” The Doctor looked down at the floor before telling her. “When I pull this lever, the TARDIS takes off and lands... inside itself. And then it shuts off forever. Nothing can ever enter or leave it again.” Lyra's eyes widened in horror. “That's right, Lyra. Take a look at your heroic, compassionate Doctor.” Discord framed the Doctor's face with his fingers. “Compassionate enough to lock you and your friend in here forever without even offering her so much as a 'sorry, so sorry'—and all on the long-shot that it would be enough to stop me. Can you really do that, Doctor?” he asked, turning back to the Doctor and looking him dead in the eye. “Could you do that?” They looked into each others' eyes for a long time. But the Doctor finally gave in and let go of the lever. Discord let out an almighty “HA!” He smacked the Doctor away from the controls with his left hand and swooped around to the other side of the console. “You never would, you coward. Now let's spread some chaos!” “Hi again, Doctor!” Again, all heads turned to see the newcomer. “Derpy?” the Doctor cried out as she crossed into the TARDIS with crossed eyes and a far too cheerful smile under the circumstances. “I told you to get away!” Discord rolled his eyes. “Oh, look who showed up—the village idiot, come to help the Doc. Get out of here, silly pony; I've got a lot of chaos to—” “You aren't going anywhere, Discord.” Derpy's smile was gone, and her eyes were narrow—and, the Doctor noticed, no longer crossed. She marched right up to the console and began purposefully pressing buttons and pushing levers. She can't possibly know what she's doing. “Derpy, don't—” he gasped. Trust her. The Doctor remembered his hologram's message and lay quietly on the ground, still reeling from Discord's blow. “Hey, that's my toy,” Discord snarled, just as Derpy pulled down hard on one last lever and stepped away from the console. “And it's my turn.” He swiped at her as he had at the Doctor, but this time, his hand went right through. “What the heck?” vworp... Vworp... Vworp... Inside the central pillar, two interlocking constructions began oscillating up and down, scraping against each other in time with the sound of the TARDIS. Vworp... Vworp... Vworp... More significantly, Discord's body was growing fainter, even transparent. Vworp... Vworp... Vworp... Finally he realized what was happening. “Oh come on, you can't be leaving without me!” He stamped on the ground in impotent anger, his body and voice becoming fainter by the moment. “You do not get to leave without the god of Cha...” And with that, he was gone. Vworp... Vworp... kdunk. After a few seconds of stunned silence, the Doctor got to his hooves and warily approached Derpy, a stunned expression on both their faces. Suddenly, he stopped being wary and hugged her. “That was amazing! Hey, look at that!” he exclaimed. “I figured out how to hug!” Derpy hugged him right back, a big grin on both their faces. “But how did you do that?” Derpy opened her eyes, and while they still weren't crossed, they didn't have the same determination he'd just seen. “I don't know.” “You just made the TARDIS dematerialize without one of its passengers, and you don't know HOW?” The Doctor was incredulous, but Derpy simply shook her head. “It just felt... right,” she tried to explain, frowning in confusion. “Like meeting you did, it felt right.... That doesn't make sense, does it. Sorry.” Her face fell. “Really, don't be,” the Doctor reassured, still smiling. “Did we just time travel?” Lyra asked, her voice still squeaking after her recent fright. She cleared her throat and continued less squeakily than before. “So where are we now? No, when are we?” The Doctor disengaged from Derpy and ran around the console to the scanner. “July second, 1002. Same time of day, same place, but we've traveled precisely one day into the past, before Discord broke free.” He felt some tension leaving his shoulders as he said the words. “We're safe now.” Lyra's eyes were still wide, but she managed a big smile. “So now we can go and stop Discord from ever having broken free!” she said. The Doctor sighed. “How? If I go near that statue again, it might be enough to break him out ahead of schedule. And you're forgetting about the problem of a paradox.” “Doctor, why would it be a problem to have two docks?” Derpy seemed to have misheard him and sounded quite confused. “Not a pair of docks,” the Doctor explained. “A paradox. If we somehow stopped Discord's appearance, then there'd be no reason for us to be here at all.” He reached to pull his glasses from his pocket then realized he still wasn't wearing anything. “Rule one of time travel: do not interfere with your own timeline.” He said while standing in the TARDIS sent to him by his future self. “I was kidding about the dock thing...” Derpy muttered. Bon Bon burst back in, panting and soaking wet. Gray paint was still streaked along her body, but bizarrely enough, the streaks were pointed upward. “The shower... started shooting water... up from the drain... and back into the showerhead.” She looked, to use a term the Doctor had once heard, thoroughly weirded out. “Sorry, that bathroom must be time-sensitive,” he replied with a small smile. “At least you didn't use the loo, did you?” She stared at him in utter bewilderment. “We just time traveled!” Derpy explained beamishly. Bon Bon rolled her eyes and snorted, her bewilderment replaced by something close to contempt as she noticed the pegasus. “Oh great, it's Derpy Hooves. And this day was going so well already.” Derpy and the Doctor gave Bon Bon a cool look. “Excuse me?” the Doctor said. “You know, Derpy Hooves.” Bon Bon considered for a moment. “Actually, I guess you don't, so here's all you need to know: she managed to single-hoofedly destroy Town Hall earlier this year, and she's the dumbest, clumsiest pony in all Equestria. What is she doing... here....” Her voice trailed off as the Doctor ambled toward her, smiling in what could have been a friendly way. But the smile didn't get anywhere near his eyes—the eyes of a patient stallion whose patience had just worn out. Assuming I'm doing it right, of course. “Bon Bon, I'm going to tell you this once, and I'm going to tell you this very nicely.” Bon Bon shrank back as the Doctor leaned over her, using a low, serious tone. “I get that it hasn't been a good day for you. But you are going to be much more personable from now on, particularly because the 'dumbest pony in Equestria' just saved your life. Is that clear?” Bon Bon backed away from him as if he'd started threatening her. “All right, sorry!” she managed. The Doctor raised an eyebrow, and she took a deep breath to try to calm down. “Sorry,” she repeated with more sincerity. The Doctor's smile stayed frozen on his face. A few seconds later, she realized what he wanted from her. “I'm sorry!” she called—not to him but to Derpy, who was looking in the opposite direction, still annoyed. “I'm sorry I said you were dumb and clumsy.” The pegasus immediately brightened up and smiled at her. “Oh, it's so okay!” Derpy said, with more than a hint of sarcasm. The Doctor hesitated for a moment, but she had technically accepted the apology, so he released Bon Bon from his stare. As he turned to face the doors, he heard her try to suppress a sigh of relief. Still got it there, too. “You'd probably better finish your shower,” he said, back to a conversational tone of voice, but without looking at her. “I promise no nasty surprises this time, and I can get dressed while you're doing that.” She trotted hastily back to the bathroom. “Um, why would you need to put on clothes?” Lyra asked. “Because I've been naked all day!” Derpy and Lyra both shot him confused, skeptical looks. “Oh right, horses. No nudity taboo.” Derpy snorted and turned her attention to the TARDIS console, treading gingerly around it and occasionally putting her ear to the side. “Actually, we're not called horses,” Lyra corrected, as the Doctor walked over to the coat tree that his future self had indicated, and pulled his suit down. “We're ponies. You weren't always a pony?” “I told you: I'm a Time Lord,” he responded, struggling with the sleeves. “The Time Lord, actually, but...” He pushed away old, sad memories; as his future self had said, now was far from the time to be mopey. “Let's not get into that, not now.” “So what does a Time Lord look like?” “Well, two arms, two legs... kind of like a human, if you have any of those around here. Gah!” The Doctor was by now thoroughly tangled. “How do you ponies work things without fingers?” “Oh, you had fingers?” Somehow this made Lyra positively joyous. “You lucky pony, I've always wanted to have fingers!” She giggled, though this might have been at his predicament. “Let me help you with that!” Her horn glowed minty green, like the color of her coat and hair, and a similar aura enveloped the Doctor's suit. A few magical yanks and tucks later, every snag was gone. He flexed his legs experimentally and smiled as the perfectly tailored suit moved with him. “Thank you, Lyra!” She smiled with him, happy that he was happy. “Was that magic?” “You bet! Did they not have magic in your world or something?” “Nah, we got along with really good tech.” The Doctor adjusted his suit and noticed several somethings within it. “Speaking of which, look at this!” He reached into his pocket and began to pull out a few items. “My sonic screwdriver!” It was a silver metal rod with a little blue light on the end, which did not at all resemble a screwdriver in any traditional sense. He pressed a button on its middle, and it made the warbling, whistling sort of noise he enjoyed so much; for a quick test, he pointed it at the TARDIS control panel and grinned as its lights turned bright blue. “I love my sonic screwdriver—most useful tool in the world—and the brainy specs!” he exulted, drawing and putting on a pair of thick-rimmed brown glasses. “I don't need them, but they do make me look clever—well, cleverer,” he explained to a bemused but still happy Lyra. “Moving on... TARDIS key! Never leave home without it,” he said, brandishing an apparently ordinary key in his hoof. “Actually,” he continued, pulling out a few more, “a bunch of TARDIS keys... well, it's always nice to have spares. Psychic paper, always useful....” He revealed and opened a beaten-up black wallet. “And what's this... 'Remember to ask Bon Bon about the Elements of Harmony',” he read. “Another message from myself, eh? Well, come on everybody, let's go ask her.” He trotted deeper into the TARDIS. “Ummmm, I think you mean everypony,” Derpy said, pulling herself off the metal grating, through which she'd been looking at the TARDIS's innards. She and Lyra followed him in, and they walked through the third corridor. “You know,” Lyra said, at what seemed to be the halfway point of the long corridor, “for a time-spaceship, this place seems almost... alive.” “The TARDIS is more than just a ship, Lyra.” The Doctor turned and touched his hoof to the wall, like a doctor feeling for a pulse. “She is alive.” He closed his eyes and smiled. “Of course!” Derpy's declaration surprised both of the other two. A moment later, she was surprised too. “Wait, how did I know that?” How could she know that? The Doctor pulled his hoof from the wall and resumed trotting, almost as confused as Derpy herself. This pony knows much more than she ought about the TARDIS... how can she even fly the ship? For that matter, how am I going to build the ship? This question troubled him. Or rather, grow her so I can send her back in the first place. When all this is said and done, I might be able to take a cutting of this TARDIS's coral and use it to grow her, but that won't do the trick alone... I'll need to do a lot of engineering work, so I'll need a lot of help... but it'll be difficult for them to grasp the concepts involved—and oh look, we're here. Lost in thought, the Doctor didn't realize that they'd reached the end of the corridor until he'd almost hit his nose on the bathroom door. “Bon Bon?” he called, knocking three times on the door. “Are you decent?” She opened the door, all paint removed. Her coat and hair were fully revealed, the latter of which was a quite conspicuous combination of blue and pink. Her flank displayed a picture of three wrapped sweets—her cutie mark, he supposed. “Absolutely, thank you very much.” The Doctor cocked his head to the side in puzzlement at her words—or more accurately, at her voice. “Hang on, was your voice different earlier?” “I'm sure you're imagining things.” No I'm not, and I'm very good with accents. Her voice had sounded generally Earth, North American English before—the sort one might hear around Vancouver. Now she was aping his own Estuary: though, rather than imitating his voice precisely, she was speaking as a mare. “Do you mind not copying my accent?” "Well shucks, would y’all rather have one of them country accents? Or maybe, like, you want me to do, like, a valley-mare impression?” She switched from accent to accent with dizzying speed. “I need you to tell me about the Elements of Harmony,” he replied, ignoring her changing voice. “Everything I've been hearing from you, Derpy, Discord—it all keeps coming back to these Elements.” “Well, uh, sure, but like, you could have asked like anypony around. I mean, duh—who doesn't know about the Elements.” “Bon Bon, you're killing me,” Lyra groaned while magically folding her ears into their holes. Bon Bon sighed and returned to her 'default' voice. “Fine, the Elements of Harmony. They're six magical artifacts that are the most powerful things in all Equestria when combined—stronger than Discord himself. They were used to imprison Discord when he came back a year ago, and before that, they defeated Nightmare Moon and freed Princess Luna.” “Where are the ponies that can use them?” The Doctor began walking back toward the control room, leaving the other three mares with little choice but to follow. “I guess... you'd probably want to check the Ponyville Library first. That's where Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic, lives.” “You said they're artifacts, not ponies—” the Doctor began. “They're also ponies.” Bon Bon sounded rather exasperated, but apparently remembered the Doctor's earlier admonishment; her next words sounded checked. “Anyway, she lives in the library. A bit of a bookworm, but she's got a lot of magical power.” “I like her already.” They reached the control room, and the Doctor dashed to the console, manipulating her controls like he'd been doing it all his life. Well, I have—for most of it, anyway. I didn't expect it to be so easy with no fingers, though. “Time to travel to Ponyville Library, July third!” “Wait, July third? Like, after Discord is freed?” Lyra sounded confused and more than a little scared. “Remember, no time paradoxes if we can avoid it!” the Doctor replied without looking up. “I can't warn the bearer of the Element of Magic—or the Element herself, whatever—ahead of time that Discord is returning. Furthermore!” he continued before nearly being knocked off his hooves as the TARDIS shook from buffeting in the Time Vortex. “She'll be more willing to help us once Discord has escaped. And finally,” he said, as the TARDIS reached its destination, “I've landed us at a time when Discord is otherwise occupied with me, so we should be fine.” He bounded out through the doors and into the library. “Oh no.” “Doctor?” Derpy called. The three mares gathered near the door of the TARDIS. “Bon Bon, could you describe Twilight Sparkle for me as exactly as possible?” He turned to face them, seeing their anxiety. Perhaps they believed he was in trouble. “She's a purple unicorn, her hair has a pink stripe in it, both her mane and her tail look like they've been cut with a straight-edge, and she's got a bunch of stars as her cutie mark. What, do you see her?” Bon Bon asked. “Yes, I'm afraid I do. Come on out.” As the other three stepped into the library, the Doctor looked back into Twilight's eyes. She was with the other five bearers of the Elements of Harmony, each one wearing their particular Element: Twilight's as a crown, the rest as necklaces in the shape of the bearer's cutie mark. They all looked poised to attack, but for one detail; they and their Elements were frozen in stone. “I'm sorry,” said the Doctor, standing still as a statue himself. “I truly am sorry.” “Are they dead?” Derpy asked, looking nervously at the six statues. “That's not how Discord works,” the Doctor replied, examining each one in turn. “Kill a pony, and that's it—he can't hurt them anymore. No fun.” Lyra's eyes widened as she realized the implications. “Then they're still alive, but—” “—unable to move or speak,” the Doctor finished, returning to Twilight's statue. “But I'd bet you they can all still think.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “Then they can't help us now.” Bon Bon, seemingly feeling that someone needed to be pragmatic, tried to pull Lyra back into the TARDIS. “And the Elements—the artifacts—got turned to stone too; they can't help us either. We should leave before Discord finds us.” “No,” the Doctor said. Bon Bon stopped pulling. “Like I said, Twilight can still think. So I'm going to talk to her.” “But how would that help, unless....” Lyra gasped. “You can read minds? I thought only unicorns were supposed to be able to do that!” “Don't be so sure.” The Doctor smiled briefly, then closed his eyes and concentrated, his forehead still on Twilight's. “Please be quiet unless it's important.” And with that, he fell into her mind. Can't breathe. The Doctor found himself in something like a howling void filled with pain and wind. At once he tensed up, seized with an overwhelming feeling of suffocation, like he'd been gagged and bound. His physical body gasped—but this wasn't his pain: it was Twilight's, shared across their psychic link. She didn't need to breathe as a statue, but the years of being a living being, born to respire, told her otherwise. Choking can't breathe help me can't breathe choking help me— It's okay. Can't breathe help me choking—Not that actual words were issuing from her mind, the Doctor realized. His brain was just interpreting her feelings of terror and suffocation. It's okay, it's okay. I'm here to help you. The Doctor quickly constructed an imaginary space—a sort of metaphor for the communication between two minds. He showed her an infinite grassy field dominated by two towering citadels: his brown, hers purple. A mental image of himself emerged from his 'mind' as represented by the citadel and stood before her own panicked psyche—her castle that was collapsing in upon itself. Imagine yourself here with me. Meet me in the space between our minds. A picture of a purple unicorn pulled herself from her mind to stand on the green, still gasping in terror. Now breathe with me. In... two... three... his mental image inhaled... out... two... three... and exhaled. And in... two... three... and out... two... three... Gradually, she joined in pretending to breathe deeply with him. She calmed down, and his body relaxed in sympathy. Her castle stood firm again. Good. Just keep imagining yourself breathing, and it won't be so hard. My name's the Doctor, and I need you to help me stop Discord. Is there anything you can tell me about Discord or the Elements of Harmony? She tried to respond with words, but they were beyond her. Frankly, he was impressed that she could form a detailed self-image at all in the dream space. Don't bother with words. You beat Discord before. Show me what you saw—show me memories. She paused, gathered her memories, then opened the castle gates and released the deluge. Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. The Doctor found himself looking at a large pony—no, an alicorn—no, not just an alicorn—Nightmare Moon, insane goddess of darkness, the corrupted Princess of the Night. From this moment forth, the night shall last forever! Ahahahahahaha! He saw Twilight with all her friends—no, not her friends, not yet—at the Summer Sun Celebration—some cowering, some ready to fight. It was under E! The scene changed, and all the not-yet-friends were in the library, looking at the book Pinkie Pie had just found. Twilight Sparkle pulled it open and began to read... There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. And then the Doctor watched as the six friends, fresh from many trials—manticores calmed, bridges restored, ghosties giggled at—found the Elements in the ancient castle of the royal princesses—but there were only five Elements there, and they were small stone orbs without the power to end the night. When the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed. As the others left to give her time to concentrate, to try to power the artifacts, Nightmare Moon appeared and took Twilight to another castle—they did battle—Nightmare Moon shattered the Elements—all hope seemed lost. But Twilight's friends returned to help her, and it all became clear—the legendary spark was the spark of friendship. It ignited—restored the Elements—revealed the sixth—the Element of Magic. Nightmare Moon was struck down—banished—Princess Luna was restored, and the sun rose again. The Doctor and Twilight paused for a moment, as the former tried to make sense of all he'd seen and the latter prepared another wave of memory. Then the Doctor nodded. Ready. He was in a hall filled with stained glass windows detailing the history of Equestria—the six Elements of Harmony were with a white alicorn—Princess Celestia, ruler of the day—they stood next to an empty chest where the artifacts should have been—an evil chuckle echoed through the room, one the Doctor recognized all too well. Did you miss me, Celestia? I missed you. Discord flew through the stained glass that filled the room. It's quite lonely being encased in stone, but you wouldn't know that, would you, because I don't turn ponies into stone! The Doctor found himself somewhat skeptical of that statement. Stop stalling, Discord! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony? Princess Celestia ignored his jab, pressing to the point. The Doctor found himself liking her quite a bit. Oh, so boring, Celestia. Really? Fine, I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you my way. To retrieve your missing elements, just make sense of this change of events: Twists and turns are my master plan.... Discord disappeared entirely. Then find the elements back where you began. Then everything disappeared, and the Doctor saw himself and Twilight Sparkle with four of her friends in a collapsing maze—but it was all wrong—the four had been turned and broken by Discord, with only Twilight left as herself—and Rainbow Dash wasn't there at all. Game's over, my little ponies. You didn't find your precious Elements. Discord gloated in his victory, producing—bizarrely enough—an inverted pink umbrella. Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos! His laugh echoed and echoed throughout the world. But hope was not yet lost. Twilight showed the Doctor more memories—herself being turned gray in her despair, only to gain fresh determination when she reread the letters she'd sent to Princess Celestia—reminding her of the times she'd shared with her friends. He watched her show these memories to them—he saw the six reunited, confronting an all-too-confident Discord, who discovered too late that their friendship was stronger than his wiles. I'll tell you what we've learned, Discord. We've learned that friendship isn't always easy. But there's no doubt it's worth fighting for! The reunited Elements of Harmony resealed Discord into his stone statue, and the world was made whole once again. The flood of memories ended, and the Doctor found himself standing again in the dream space between their minds. Thank you. I know how to beat him now, but I'll need your Element of Harmony. Is that okay? She nodded. Hold on to hope, Twilight Sparkle. He began to let himself fade, to let the psychic link break— Wait. Oh, you can do words now, very good! The Doctor stayed awhile longer, wondering what she had to say—vital information about Celestia, Discord, or the Elements? No, he doubted that. Please... help my friends like... you helped... me, she managed. I promise. Help is on its way. With that he pulled away, leaving the dream space far behind, and opened his eyes. It had taken only a few seconds of real time. “What happened?” Lyra asked, rushing over to him. “Did you talk to her?” “Yes. Don't ask me any questions just yet,” he replied, cutting off her attempt to do just that. He wondered if Bon Bon would call him rude again, but he had little time and a promise to honor. He proceeded to the statue next to Twilight's—comparing its wings and striped hair with Twilight's memories, he guessed this was Rainbow Dash—and plunged into her mind. I promise you, Fluttershy, you won't be like this much longer. Just keep breathing. With that the Doctor retreated from the mind of the Element of Kindness, the last of the six statues. He turned back to his companions—no, they couldn't be merely companions anymore. They had to be his friends. “Now can you tell us what you were doing?” asked Bon Bon. “It's harder to explain than you might think, but long story short, I talked to them and I've found a way to defeat Discord. But I need all your help.” The Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver from his pocket, clicked it a few times, then trained it on the stone pendant at Fluttershy's neck. After a few seconds of noise, the necklace fell off, transforming into a stone orb as it fell. “And what are you doing now?” Lyra asked. “Gathering the Elements of Harmony,” he replied without looking at her. Then he thought better of this curt explanation. I'm going to have to make more of an effort than that. He turned and called her and Lyra over to look. “Sonic screwdriver, setting 229.6—resonates and cracks stone. I did say it was a useful little gadget. Can you two hold these?” he asked, indicating the Elements of Kindness and Loyalty, the latter of which he quickly liberated from Rainbow Dash. “I suppose so,” Bon Bon grumbled, picking up the two dormant Elements and balancing them on her back. Derpy grabbed Honesty and placed it in her saddlebag, and Lyra levitated Generosity and Laughter. Last of all, the Doctor came to the Element of Magic. It separated easily from Twilight's head, but instead of falling to the floor, it vanished into thin air. “Whoa!” Lyra jumped back a bit, almost dropping her two Elements. “Where'd it go?” “If it's gone, how are we supposed to beat Discord with only five Elements?” asked Bon Bon—not mockingly, but with real worry. He appreciated the fact that she was making an effort. “Trust me, we won't need it for the plan.” “The plan? What, the one you're making up as you go along?” “Oh yes!” The Doctor grinned fiercely. “And I can promise you it's going to be brilliant.” And they all believed him, or at least all got swept up in his fervor. “Now come on, into the TARDIS. We've got a few more things to take care of, and I don't want Discord to find us here. And Derpy? You're the designated flier!” Derpy beamed and jumped through the open doorway. And in... two... three... Twilight ‘took’ a deep breath, ‘walking’ through the green field the Doctor had made for her. It was flat and regular as far as she could 'see', but that was fine. She wasn’t looking for distractions. And out... two... three... She heard a sound from the real world. “And Derpy? You’re the designated flier!” Somehow she knew what he meant, just as she somehow knew what a TARDIS was. In... two... three... Then, she realized what she knew—what she’d seen—and was so startled that she almost lost her focus. The dreamspace shuddered. No—out. Two... three... In... two... three... She could contemplate the few memories of his that she’d glimpsed, but not now: they were just too much. She had to focus on herself now and keep breathing. Vworp... vworp... vworp... She knew that sound as well. The TARDIS was leaving, which meant that she’d be alone again for a long time—at least from one perspective. In... two... three... But she knew better. Her friends were there with her, and though she could neither see nor hear them, she knew they felt the same way. Even as Discord’s spell kept them apart, they were together. And out... two... three... And even as that same spell kept her from stopping Discord, she was not powerless. She hadn't failed Equestria; she’d given the Doctor what he needed to save them and the whole world. And she trusted him to do just that. Why? She stopped ‘walking’, but managed to keep breathing despite her puzzlement. Why do I trust him? She racked her brain—and the little she’d seen of his—and came up with a few reasons: because he’d helped her before asking her for anything. Because he’d promised to help her friends. Because he’d told her he could save the world. And because... I don’t know, she admitted. But that’s still so much better than nothing. And so she held on to hope, and she breathed. Stay tuned for the ending to Discord and the Doctor—Part 1.