I floated through the inky blackness, blind and disoriented. My wings flapped wildly, pushing in every direction, searching for some way to tell up from down. I called out for help, but the darkness seemed to swallow my voice, and no pony answered. I couldn’t remember how long I had been here, but I knew I had always been alone. Still, I couldn’t help but cry for somepony, anypony, hoping against hope that my cry would be answered.
As I flew/swam through the dark, I began to wonder why I bothered pushing onwards at all. For all I knew , I was going in the wrong direction, falling deeper into the lonely void, but on the other hoof, who knew if there was a right direction at all?
I had no way of telling how long I pushed on- an hour, a year- but it didn’t matter. Nothing changed. Nothing ever changed. I decided that I had had enough of fighting my way from the dark. I stopped pushing, and felt myself slowing down as the blackness closed in. I felt it reaching for me, enveloping me, and I felt the cold emptiness seep into my form. It wasn’t comforting, but there was solace in giving up. At least I wouldn’t have to fight anymore...
“NO!”
I startled into moving, my legs flaying, my wings shaking, pushing the darkness away from me roughly. I didn’t know who had screamed, only that I recognized the voice from somewhere. It screamed again.
“NO! NO NO NO!”
Each syllable of refusal pumped strength into my body, and I pushed ahead, unsure of what lay before me, but unwilling to give in again. The voice compelled me, and though it did not change, the word it spoke did.
“GO! GO! GO GO GO!!”
I felt the darkness pulling away. Though I still couldn’t see anything ahead, the void around me grew lighter with each push, each flap, each resounding of the voice.
Suddenly, I broke through a barrier I couldn’t see, and swirled around wildly as gravity took hold, and I plummeted through a brilliant blue sky. I found myself spiraling through the air, falling to the ground at breakneck speed. My wings no longer seemed to be responding. I turned to see blood dripping from my left wing, as it bent at an odd angle, limp and useless. I attempted to correct my spin, but my good wing wasn’t enough to level out completely. I tried to get a view of where I was, so I at least knew where I was going to land before I was flattened on impact. I flipped my wing to spin me over, so I was corkscrewing with my face towards the rapidly approaching ground. Now I could see where I would make my last landing. I gasped as I saw a sweeping forest below me, dark and thick. The Everfree Forest.
I uselessly put my forelegs out in front of me to brace against the impact, and could only watch as the treetops loomed ever larger. I thought I saw a flash of gold and pink below me through a gap in the trees, and then I hit the canopy, and saw nothing but stars...
“Ow!” I hit the floor of the guest room hard, smacking nose first into the wooden surface. It stung terribly, and I tried to stand, but my left wing was tangled in the blankets, and I stumbled over clumsily, knocking into the side table loudly as I tumbled to the ground in a blanket-covered heap.
The room was absolutely still for a three count, and then I lifted my head, and the pillow that had fallen on top of me slid off. It was morning, and a beam of brilliant sunlight sliced through the air, landing right where my pillow, and my head, had been resting just moments before.
I began to untangle myself from the mess of blankets. “Well, this is a fine start to day two here in Ponyville, isn’t it?” I asked myself as I shook the blanket off my back legs and flank. “Good thing Applejack is already out doing chores, or she might have come in to check out the noise, and then you’d have to explain your blank flank to another-”
I froze. The door was open. When had it opened? How had I not heard it? I turned to face the doorway, and felt a chill run down my spine.
There was a filly in the room. Yellow, with bright red mane, tied up in a large bow, she stood just inside the doorway, staring at me. It was then that I remembered, to my horror, that Applejack had mentioned she had a little sister. This must have been Apple Bloom.
She was looking at me, right at my flank, her jaw open in shock.
“Uh, hi there!” She didn’t even breathe in response. “This i-isn’t what it looks like...” I started to say, but she was already running out the door like there was a fire-breathing dragon on her tail. I started to chase after her, but being tangled in a mess of blankets makes that a little difficult. I wrenched myself from the mass, and started after her, but turned around almost immediately when I remembered I was still exposed, and cursed as I searched around to find my cloak. It had fallen off the side table when I knocked into it, and I frantically shoved the table aside to retrieve it from behind. I hastily donned my covering, half-galloping as I slid my wings into their holes and tried not to fall over the blankets in the middle of the room. “W-wait!”
I slid out of the room, and bounded down the steps after Apple Bloom. She had a good head start, and I didn’t know the layout of the farm, so my chances of intercepting her were already slim, and getting smaller by the moment. I decided to head out the way I came in last night, from the kitchen. I galloped off towards the door, praying to the princess she’d gone out the same way.
Luck and Luna were on my side today. As I slid into the kitchen, I saw a bobbing red tail racing out the closing kitchen door. I also saw an old mare at the sink, whistling while she was washing something, but I had neither the time or desire to find out what, and I rushed out the door before she had time to even notice I was there.
The farm was as bright and colorful as I had suspected last night. The warm spring sun made the many-hued apples sparkle, and the trees spread out in all directions, with the town in the distance to the northeast. I barely noticed. Apple Bloom was making a break for the orchard, heading due west as fast as her little legs would carry her.
My legs weren’t so little, but I wasn’t going to need them to catch her today. I rocketed into the sky, my wings billowing out and shoving me forward as I went up. I gained on her quickly enough, and soon was directly over her head. She looked up, and screamed, pushing ahead with an extra boost of speed.
“Apple Bloom, stop!” I yelled, “I’m not going to-”
CraSH! Crunch-Thack-Thunk! I hadn’t been paying attention to the apple trees, and I ended up hitting one headfirst, barreling through some smaller branches before colliding roughly with the trunk. Apple Bloom ran on, not looking back, as I rolled and fell, knocking apples astray as I bounced from branch to branch. After far too long, I finally hit the ground, and tumbled onto my stomach. Three apples proceeded to fall onto my head in rapid succession, and the last thing I saw was Apple Bloom’s hooves disappearing into the trees...
***
“-don’t make a habit of this. Come on, now.” The voice faded in slowly over the ringing in my ears. I opened my eyes, painfully, to see Applejack staring at me, upside down. There was something cold on my head- an ice pack- which she was nursing over the large bump growing where I had run into the tree. She smiled when our eyes met. “That’s it, Sugarcube! You okay? You got a right fine knock there, chasin’ my silly filly sister into a tree.”
“Uhn...” I grunted. My head was pounding. I took the ice pack from Applejack and sat up, while she braced me with her forelegs so I didn’t fall over. I glanced at her, and started trembling.
“You know, usually I use my hooves to get the apples out of the trees, not my head.”
I only faintly heard her words. My memory had come rushing back as I sat up, and I could feel the cold sweat beading on my forehead. Apple Bloom had surely told her what she had seen. Applejack had to know now, that I was a blank-flanked freak.
“I have to apologize, Chaser.” She looked at me with frustration. “This whole mix-up is my fault.”
I tried to speak, to correct her, but shame was clogging my throat. Here it came...
“I was in such a rush to get started on chores this mornin’, I forgot to let anypony else know you was here. Apple Bloom told me you were a thief, climbin’ in the window to look for valuables. That’s why she dashed out so quick to get me. Can you believe it?” She chuckled.
I looked at her nervously, confused, waiting for the hammer to fall. Apple Bloom had seen my blank flank, hadn’t she? She would have told Applejack, I was sure of it. I backed up a half step, bracing myself...
“I explained everythin’ to her, of course. She’s inside, now, havin’ breakfast. C’mon, I’ll help you inside, and you can join us. I could use a little break anyhow.”
“What?” I choked. Those weren’t at all the words I was expecting. “B-but... She didn’t... You aren’t... I’m not...?” Wasn’t she going to say anything?
“Not what?” She looked at me slyly. “Hungry? Horsefeathers. I saw you eatin’ those apples last night. I know what kind of appetite you got there.” She met my eyes, and I saw something in her gaze... sadness? She sighed. “We can talk more after we eat.”
“So, sh-she didn’t-?” I stammered after several seconds of staring.
“She did,” She replied nonchalantly as she turned towards the nearby path, “and I had to make her promise not to say anythin’ else until I talked to you about it. And I will, after breakfast.” She said nothing more as she walked towards the house, too casually.
“Wha- but, I don’t... Don’t you...?”
“Breakfast first, Sugarcube.”
She wouldn’t say anything else, so I gave up my sputtered objections, and followed glumly. I might as well enjoy my last meal in town, after all.
The next half-hour was a blur. Breakfast was a family affair, and I was introduced to the other members of Applejack’s household before sitting down to eat. Granny Smith was an older mare, but she had spunk I would have appreciated more had I not been staring into the eyes of the proverbial Reaper. Big Macintosh, who certainly lived up to his title, didn’t say much. He seemed the type who only used words when he needed to. In truth, I barely remembered much of the conversation. I was too busy trying to word my apology to Applejack afterwards.
Not that there was much talking, besides Granny and Applejack. I heard snippets through the haze of my dread; Applejack mentioned something about the western orchard to Big Mac, who responded with only a stoic “Eeyup.” Granny Smith asked me some questions. I think I answered them.
Apple Bloom barely said a word. She wouldn’t stop staring at me like I was some kind of creature from another world. Applejack finally had to excuse her from the table early, and she bounded out the door, yelling something about a clubhouse and disappearing before anyone had a chance to argue.
I excused myself as soon as Apple Bloom had left. I had nothing to pack upstairs, so I merely went outside and waited for Applejack to come out and give me what for. I was sure she was just giving me more time to think about my deception, and let the guilt break me. It was working.
Finally, the door from the kitchen opened, and Applejack came out, smiling almost as if nothing was about to happen. “Well, that was some good chow!” I nodded robotically; it had all tasted like ash in my mouth, and I hadn’t been able to stomach much anyway. “C’mon,” she waved me over, “I need some help in the barn. We’ll talk there.”
We walked quietly, the silence cutting with every step. I looked around at the farm as we went, and back at the town of Ponyville in the distance. It had held so much promise yesterday, and last night, in the starlight. And Fluttershy...
Applejack held the barn door open, and I marched inside, to the center of the floor, and turned around to face her. “Applejack,” I began, hoping she’d give me time to talk before asking me to go. “I can explain. You see-”
“You don’t have to explain a thing, darlin’. I understand.” She leaned a hoof against a railing, and tipped her hat to reflect the beams of sun shooting through the tiny slits between the boards of the barn wall away from her eyes. “What you said last night makes a lot more sense, now.”
“I just... I didn’t...” I felt my knees about to give under me from the weight of my burden. My eyes began to cloud, but I spoke as clearly as I could. “I didn’t want anypony to judge me before they got to know me. I just wanted a chance to be accepted. I’m sorry I hid the truth from everyone. I’ll go, now, don’t worry.” I started towards the door.
Applejack stepped in front of me and held up a hoof. “Hold up now, Chaser. Who’s askin’ you to go?”
I stopped. “What do you mean?”
“I didn’t bring you in here to ask you to go. I brought you in here to help me before we head into town to get your bag.”
“You... You don’t want me to leave?” I backed up, utterly bewildered by her response.
She sighed, and shook her head. “Chaser, you said last night that you were lookin’ for somethin’. You said you were tryin’ to find your place. That’s true enough, isn’t it?” I nodded, fighting back tears. “Well, then,” she continued, “Why would you leave when you’ve just started lookin’?”
“Wha-” I sniffed,” What do you mean? I’m a... a blank flank.”
“So’s Apple Bloom,” she said matter-of-factly, “What about it?”
“But... she’s just a filly. She doesn’t have to have found her talent yet.”
“And who made the rules sayin’ you have to? Just ‘cause you’re older doesn’t mean you’re any diff’rent than her, or any other pony.”
“But...” I didn’t know how to respond to that. I’d always known I was wrong for being a blank flank. “I’m supposed to have my cutie mark by now.”
Applejack sighed again, and walked over to me. “Sugarcube, I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told Apple Bloom when she brought it up to me the first time.” She put a sisterly leg around my neck, and I sat down without thinking, to give her a better position. “You’ll get your cutie mark. Every pony gets one eventually.” She let me go, and marched towards the back of the barn, rummaging through some tools stacked against the wall. “I’m also gonna tell you somethin’ I didn’t tell her, on account of I think you’ll get it better.” She picked up a pushbroom, and leaned on it as she turned back to face me. “Even if you don’t get it, that’s okay. A cutie mark doesn’t make a pony who they are.”
I was stunned. She was obviously mad. I had never heard anything like this from anypony. No pony had ever tried to tell me my cutie mark didn’t matter. Not even my parents.
“...”
“Chaser? Your ears hearin’ what my mouth is sayin’?”
“Uh... yeah. I’m hearin’- er, hearing, what you’re saying.” I looked away. “I’m not sure I believe it, though.”
“You got any proof says otherwise?” She smirked.
Something inside broke open and bubbled to the surface. “Yeah, I do. How about a life of rejection and exclusion?” I yelled, suddenly very angry, “How about a thousand stares and whispered comments behind my back? How about the silence that follows whenever I enter a room or building? Is that proof enough, Applejack?”
I found myself standing inches from her, breathing heavily. I took a stumbling step back. I didn’t remember moving. I hadn’t... I hadn’t realized I was so angry about it. I backed away, then turned and trotted to the other side of the barn. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I swayed uneasily, then slumped against the barn wall, dejected. “I don’t know what...” I was going to be sick. I could feel the darkness grabbing for me, as it did in the dream, but this time I didn’t have the strength to even try and fight.
I felt a hoof on my back, and turned to see Applejack behind me, a soft look on her face. “Chaser, it’s ok.” The darkness ebbed as she looked me in the eyes and said, “You had it rough all these years. Real rough. I get it. But you came here for a second chance, right? A fresh start?”
I took a long moment to respond. “... Yes.”
“Well, I’m offerin’ you that chance, right here and now, in Ponyville, and on my farm. I promise you, if there’s a place to find out who you are, and what you’re worth, it’s here. And any pony so much as looks at you funny, they’ll be answerin’ to me and my friends about it.” She took the hoof off my back, and held it out to me.
“You... You really mean it?” This was all too much, too fast. The room was spinning.
“Chaser, you’re talkin’ to the Element of Honesty. When I say somethin’, I mean it.”
I sat there, in that moment, looking at Applejack, looking into myself. There it was again, poking its head up through all the muck and mire in my heart, through all the despair and loneliness- hope. It looked at me and nodded, and for that moment, I believed. That was all it took to reach out and grab Applejack’s outstretched hoof, and stand back up.
“I... I trust you.”
Applejack smiled. “Thank you.”
I nodded. “So,” I sniffed again, “What now? W-where do I start?”
“Well... You can start by helpin’ me clean up this floor for the party Pinkie wants to throw tomorrow.” She handed me the broom she was still carrying.
“I...” I looked at the broom in my hooves. Could I really have my second chance, after all? I wouldn’t know until I tried. “Okay. Yeah. I can do that.” I smiled weakly, and Applejack responded with a nod and a grin.
“I know you can! That’s why I asked you to help.” She cantered back to grab the other broom from its home, and then back over to me. “Now, if we sweep it all into a pile on this side...”
***
We swept the barn floor in relative silence. With the two of us working together, it only took about twenty minutes. It was strangely therapeutic. Maybe it was the repetition, or the sound of the brooms, or maybe it was Applejack’s words to me, which still hung in the air like the sweet scent of the apples outside. Whatever it was, by the end of it, I felt okay again.
“There ain’t nothin’ like a job well done.” Applejack looked pleased as she wiped her brow, and replaced the brooms in their spot. “Well, Chaser, thank you kindly for helpin’ out there.”
“You’re, uh, welcome. It wasn’t anything special.”
“Any help is special. Now, it’s my turn.”
“Your turn to what?”
“Help you, of course!” She opened the barn door again, and we exited back into the bright sunlit grounds.
“Help me... how?”
“Well,” she began, “First, we’re gonna-”
“There he is!” a voice from behind some bushes whispered a bit too loudly.
“Shh!” another hissed, “They’ll hear us!”
I looked at Applejack, who made an annoyed face, and turned to the bushes. “We already have, girls! Now, c’mon out of there.”
Slowly, three fillies emerged from their hiding place. Apple Bloom lead the pack, with a tiny unicorn and pegasus in tow. They all looked like they had been caught with their hooves in the cookie jar.
Applejack waited until they had all stopped in front of her before she spoke again. “Girls, what are you doin’?” They all muttered incoherent excuses, none of which sounded very convincing. Applejack turned to her sister. “Are you three spyin’ on Chaser?”
“No!” Apple Bloom responded, “We were just... um, see, what we were doin’ is...”
“Apple Bloom! You told Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo about Chaser, didn’t you? I told you not to say anythin’ until we’d talked.”
Apple Bloom’s eyes went wide, and filled with tears, her mouth turning into a pitiful pout. “I didn’t mean to, big sis, I swear!” Her tiny, twangy voice professed, “It just slipped out on accident! I tried really hard not to!”
Applejack began to chastise her sister, but I put a hoof up and stepped forward. “It’s okay.” All eyes swiveled towards me. “I’m used to this.”
“No, it’s not okay. You came here to avoid this sorta thing, didn’t you?”
“I did. But I’d be foolish not to expect it.” I turned to the fillies in front of me. They were all wearing identical red capes, with blue shields sewn on, each containing a golden pony inside. They were actually kind of impressive, in a look-mom-we-made-them-ourselves sort of way. I bent down so I was eye level with the three of them, and tried to smile. “Hi, there.”
“Hiya!” squeaked the little unicorn, before the other two glanced at her, and she fell silent.
Apple Bloom stepped forward. “Uh, hi, again. Sorry about, you know, this mornin’.”
“It’s okay. I would have probably done the same thing.”
“How’s your head?” she asked as she kicked the dirt and tried not to look at me.
“It’s a little sore, but I’ll be fine.”
“Are you really a blank flank?” The pegasus piped up suddenly.
My face flushed. “I...Uh...” That hadn’t taken long.
“That’s none of your beeswax, girls-”
“No, it’s okay. I-” I swallowed- “I gotta... start sometime, right?” I turned to my side and, sighing heavily, did the hardest thing I’d done since I got to Ponyville.
I lifted my cloak.
The girls gasped in unison, but stopped quickly when Applejack gave them a death glare.
I explained, “I came here because I’m all alone at home, because I still don’t have my cutie mark. I thought that if I went somewhere where no pony knew me, I could have a chance at finding it, or at least not feel so bad about not having one.”
They didn’t say anything for a long while. They just kept looking at me, and back at each other, and back at me again. Applejack finally cleared her throat, loudly, and the girls jumped. “Girls,” she said, “Do you wanna say anything to mister Chaser?”
“Uh...” Apple Bloom faltered.
“Um, it’s just-” I started to say.
“We don’t have cutie marks, either!” the little unicorn proclaimed suddenly, squeaking again, “See?” She lifted her cape, and revealed her blank flank, wiggling humorously for effect.
“Oh, no?”
“Nope!” said the pegasus, buzzing her wings, “But we’re gonna find ‘em, ‘cause we’re-” she assumed a striking pose, and so did the unicorn- “The Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Apple Bloom didn’t move, or speak, when the others did. Instead, she looked down, at the ground. I’d seen this look before.
“Don’t worry,” I said, “I’m the only pony I know like me. You’ll all find your talents, and earn your cutie mark soon, I bet.”
She looked up slowly, her fearful gaze lightening. “I guess so... So, you’re the only pony like you?”
“Well, I’ve never heard of any other ponies growing up without a cutie mark. Just me.”
The little unicorn started blubbering almost immediately. “That’s so sad, mister Chaser!”
I ran my hoof through my mane, and promptly rediscovered the bump I had almost forgotten about. I winced as I replied, “Well... I guess it is, yeah. And it’s just-”
Apple Bloom suddenly leapt up, her eyes alight. “I’ve got it!” She looked at Applejack. “Hey, uh, big sis, can we talk to you for a sec?”
Applejack raised a suspicious eyebrow, but nodded slowly. “Alright.”
The girls all stepped aside, forming a half-circle around Applejack, who listened intently as they discussed something too softly for me to make out. After several minutes of intense discussion, Applejack looked over at me, nodded, and said, “Well, you’ll have to ask him how he feels about it. I’m not sure he wants ponies to know about it just yet.”
The three fillies zipped back over to me, curious smiles on their faces. Apple Bloom stepped forward, and cleared her throat. “Mister Chaser, I’d like to apologize for causin’ trouble for you this mornin’.”
“Well, um, apology accepted, Apple Bloom. But really, just call-”
“That’s not all!” she continued before I could finish. “The three of us talked it over just now, and we’d like to help you out.” She looked at the others quickly, then glanced back up at me. “Would you like... to become our first official Senior Crusader?”
I did a double-take. “I wha?”
“We’d really like it if you’d join us!” The unicorn yelped.
“Yeah, it’d be pretty cool having a grown-up to help out all the time!” The pegasus added.
“If you don’t wanna, we’d understand,” Apple bloom looked down, “But... as Cutie Mark Crusaders, it’s our responsibility to help any and all ponies find their special talents, no matter what.”
I looked over at Applejack, completely at a loss. I’d just been invited to join a filly club for blank flanks. I wasn’t sure whether to be honored or humiliated, although I was sure they meant it in the former. “I, uh, don’t know what to say...”
In unison, they beamed up at me, and chorused, “PLEEEEEASE?”
I was so confused. Only a few hours ago, I had been concealing my lack of talent, and now, I was being asked by these fillies to come along and shout it from the hills. On the other hoof, though... it was an oddly warming feeling, being offered inclusion, and they seemed sincere. “Um, well... I...”
Applejack stepped towards us, getting between myself and the girls. “Why don’t you give Chaser some time to think about it, alright? It’s a big decision, after all.”
The three of them deflated a little. “Well, okay.” They looked at each other and nodded.
“And don’t none of you go talking about this unless he says it’s alright.”
“We Pinkie Promise,” Apple Bloom said, and the three of them proceeded to do a funny dance and recite the words, “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” and then laugh at themselves.
“Thank you, girls. Really,” I choked out. I was having a bit of difficulty speaking all of a sudden. I was nearly in shock from the sudden turn of events.
Apple Bloom answered, “Uh, well... You’re welcome!” She turned to the other two, said, “C’mon, girls! We gotta get things ready for the initiation ceremony!” and motioned for them to follow her as she took off. “When you decide to join, we’ll be in our clubhouse!”
“Uh, right!” I called out after them. “Sure thing.” I couldn’t fault her confidence, at least.
We stood there watching them disappeared amongst the trees, and then Applejack turned to me and said, “So, you actually gonna do it?
“I... don’t know.” There was a lot I didn’t know, it seemed. “This is all so odd.”
“What?”
“I just... never thought it’d be like this.” I sat down, trying to recollect myself.
“You really had it rough.”
“You have no idea.”
Applejack gave me a pat on the back. “Well, Sugarcube, I think you’ll find that things work a little bit differently in Ponyville. Now,” She started off towards the path into town, “You ready to get your bag back, or do you just wanna sit there for a while first?”
I looked around, and realized how beautiful a day it was for the first time. “No, I’m ready.” I stood up.
“C’mon, then. Time’s a wastin’.”
“Um, Applejack?”
“Hmm?” She turned back to look at me, waiting.
“Could we, uh, stop by and see Fluttershy?”
For a moment, I thought I saw a smirk cross Applejack’s face, but I blinked, and it was gone. “Sure thing. I think she’d like that.”
“Okay.” And with that, we started down the path, back into town.