//------------------------------//
// The Voice Inside 
// Story: Why I Hate Loving a Rainbow 
// by FailWhale 
//------------------------------//

	Hi everypony! This is Pinkie Pie again. Well, of course it's Pinkie! Who else would it be? So, I really really liked being able to talk to you last time, and...something bad happened yesterday, so I really need somepony to talk to. So, time to be somepony else again...

Okay, here we go. So, yesterday, I held a party for Carrot Top. It went great. But the thing is, I also tried to tell Rainbow Dash how I felt about her. It didn't go so well. Whenever I try to tell her, it's like ice starts pouring itself into my body. I get a sinking feeling inside of me. And...the voice starts speaking. Now, I don't want you to think I'm crazy. Well, maybe I AM crazy, seeing as I think I have a chance with Rainbow Dash...but that's not important. The voice inside starts speaking. Whenever she does, she doesn't say things that are too encouraging. She always tells me how things can go wrong. How it isn't going to work. How I'm going to fail. It gets infuriating sometimes. And...the bad thing is, it usually works. Like yesterday.

I was THIS close to telling her. Then, I got cold and felt like I was sinking, like every other time. Then, she started telling me that it wouldn't work. I won't have a chance with Rainbow Dash. She doesn't even know why I'm trying. All that talk...it gets to you after a while, you know? After hearing it so many times, I start to believe it. She started saying of all that while I was standing there trying to find a way to tell her. And...I got scared.

I started thinking things like, 'What if she thinks I'm disgusting for liking mares?' I mean, I know some ponies who are okay with that, but I also knew some ponies a while ago who think that..."fillyfoolers" are sick and wrong. I don't know what Rainbow Dash thinks about mares like that. And, in the off chance that she doesn't mind, what if she doesn't share my feelings? Will our friendship be the same, or will it be too awkward to be in the same room as each other? Ugh, this is frustrating! I wish I didn't start thinking about this. Now I see more chances of bad than good.

I know that I should tell her. I know that I should be brave. I know that I need to do it for my own sake. But...I'm just scared. That's my only excuse. It's not a good one, but it's true. I'm scared of what could happen. But, there's also the chance that she'll say that she loves me too. I think I'll be happier than I'll ever be in my LIFE if that happens. I'll throw the biggest party in the history of forever if she does. I just need to build up my courage.

I really enjoy talking to you. I feel like I can just pour my heart out into you. Oh no, I'm starting to sound like one of those really bad romance books that I'm pretty sure Twilight keeps and reads in her library. I know that Rarity does. I honestly have no clue what she sees in them. Maybe she likes to lose herself in them and let go of all of her problems when she reads them. I should try that sometime. Oh, getting off topic.

I'm going to try again. I'm going to try and tell Rainbow Dash that I love her. Again. And, hopefully, I'll be able to at least ask her to meet me somewhere. Then, I'll have more time to build up my courage. And if not...here's to hoping that she'll accept me. And this time, I'll try to shut out that voice inside. She doesn't really help my motivation to continue.

So, time to be Pinkie again. Things are so much simpler when I'm Pinkie. Well, that's a lie. I'm still the same Pinkie when I get like this. I can just talk more easily. Like, I wouldn't normally be able to tell you all of this. Oh well....Okie dokie lokie! Thanks so much for listening, like always. I don't really know why I'm talking to a diary like it's a person or a group of people, but it's fun! Next thing I know, I'll be throwing a party for you! Maybe tomorrow? Oh, wait, no, that's silly. Who throws a party for a diary? Or is it a journal...? Anyway, today's a new day, so time to try and forget yesterday and try for a new, better day!  And, hopefully, throw a PARTY!

See you later, everypony!





Sorry if this one seems kinda rushed or cliche or stupid, but I've been holding off for too long. There are a million directions I can take this, and I'm still trying to decide. Where am I going with this? Not too sure myself. I also have trouble writing the third chapter of anything. Which is weird. Anyway, thanks, and I hope you enjoyed reading this.