//------------------------------// // The Physical Challenge // Story: Innavedr // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// There was a frightening pause in the audience's bloodlusting chant. Imre knew this because her ears—as well as her entire head—hadn't been gobbled up. Breathless, she looked up with bright eyes. The two timberwolves were thrashing at the air, their chests at forty-five degree leans over Imre's form. The figure of an armored pegasus was perched above her with forelimbs outstretched. "Hnnnnngh!" Rainbow Dash hissed and buckled under the armor. Just as the unearthly canines started snapping at her instead of the unicorn, she thrusted upward with her rocket packs. The aerial shove knocked the two beasts back. Rainbow Dash cut her engines, came down, grabbed Imre, and fired the thrusters again—just in time to avoid the snapping jaws of the other four wolves. "Spark alive!" Imre gasped. "How are you so strong?!" "It's... your... armor..." Rainbow Dash stammered, breathless. "The stuff is meant to protect you, not make you a manticore's half-sibling!" "Hey!" Rainbow Dash shouted through her helmet. "I do what I've got!" She heard a feral roar behind her back, followed by several screams. Hovering to a stop, she pivoted about with Imre in her grasp. The timberwolves had given up on the pegasus and were prowling their way towards a helpless group of ill-fed stallions. "Hey..." Rainbow dropped Imre to her hooves. "Wait here!" "Oof!" Imre stumbled, then snapped out of it. "What?! You can't be serious!" "The morons here are chanting 'blood!'" Rainbow Dash rocketed towards the helpless group. "I'm not about to give them any satisfaction!" "They're all dead anyways!" Imre shouted after her from the safer end of the arena. "No metal mare would waste her time with that lot!" "Which is exactly why I gotta do the exact opposite!" Rainbow Dash howled back. She gained altitude, spun about, and allowed gravity to take her the rest of the way. "Hey! Ya mutts wanna play 'fetch the stick?!'" Confused, half of the timberwolves glanced up at the metal object plummeting towards them. Rainbow Dash spun so that her rear hooves were dropping first. "Well then, gimme some sticks!" The air exploded from the resulting concussion. Even Imre, on the other side of the arena, had to struggle for balance as a vaporous wave of thunder rolled her way. When she came to, she saw that one of the timberwolves hat completely exploded. Out from the pile of glowing branches, a body emerged. "Raaaaugh!" Rainbow Dash flew out of the monster's smoking remains. Dusting herself off, she quipped, "Hah! How's that for a trip to the vet—?" Another canine's jaws clamped over her and shoved her against the wall. "Ummmff!" She hissed as sparks danced through her helmet. "For Celestia's sake! You gotta at least let me say them all!" She brought both hooves up and slammed them repeatedly over the creature's wooden muzzle. "Nnnngh! Hnnngh! Rghhh!" A crack formed across several branches. Taking a huge breath, she angled her helmet just right and headbutted the timberwolf's cranium. His skull split down the middle. As the pressure on his jaws released, Rainbow Dash bucked her way completely out of his mouth, reducing his cranium to splinters. No sooner was she hovering free when two more wolves lunged at her at once. She backflipped, perched on the snout of one creature, and activated all thrusters at the same time. Through sheer engine power, she was able to propel it into the body of its headless comrade. Both wolves exploded in a shower of branches, filling the air with emerald magic and fury. Backflipping from the mess, Rainbow Dash slid to a stop beside the cluster of ponies. "Whoah..." A stallion wheezed, struggling to get up. "Good heavens!" another managed, gazing at her with wide eyes. "You are... astounding!" "Darn it!" Rainbow's voice cracked. "It never fails—OOF!" She shrieked as she was planted up against a wall by a massive wooden claw. "Does it ever g-get easier?" she wheezed. Her visor reflected a set of jaws flying at her. She flung her metal-laced hooves forward to hold the creature's teeth at bay. "Nnnnngh... I n-need to have a sit d-down with irony and.... nnngh... h-have a talk!" The crowd started cheering again. Rainbow Dash immediately had to find out why. She glanced over the creature's shoulders and saw—past the bodies of the other two timberwolves—the remains of their three companions slowly morphing back together again. "Ah jeez..." Rainbow Dash winced, her muscles quivering under the pressure of the large canine's jaws. "Th-they're just gonna fart themselves back together! Nnngh!" Her strength failed her, and the creature's teeth came within inches of closing around her helmet. "Gotta take them all out after dealing with Dire Winona here..." Just then, she heard a loud howl. She glanced up in time to see a leaping body blotting out the torchlight above. In carnivorous frenzy, the diamond dog from earlier leapt onto the back of the timberwolf. With a snarl, he mounted the large creature and bit through one of its glowing eyes. Wish an echoing shriek of pain, the wooden monstrosity backed off from Rainbow. Rainbow Dash immediately shot up with a burst of rocket power. She avoided the paw-swipes of the other wolves and flew in a low orbit of the mounted pack leader. "Hey!" She grinned sweatily beneath her helmet. "At least one of them's still mare's best friend!" She whistled shrilly. "Quick, Fido! Bounce off!" The diamond dog flashed her a look, then immediately leapt off. Rainbow Dash came in low, sweeping out the large monster's legs and reducing it to shredded bits. The arena roared with mixed cheers and shouts of anger as the merciless beasts' number was reduced to two. On the far end, Imre had gathered several of the stallions, anteloupes, and other equines. Minutes had passed, and the victims weren't dead, and this gave them enough energy to limp over behind the waving unicorn. "Rainbow! The rockets!" Rainbow swiveled about from where she hovered above the two remaining timber wolves. "Uh, yeah. They're wicked sick! Thanks!" She dodged a pair of snapping jaws and hissed, "What about them?" "You wanna prevent the wolves from reforming?!" Imre pointed across floor towards where the branches were starting to levitate. "Then burn those jerks to ashes! Rainbow glanced over, then looked at her rockets. She smiled. "Cool beans!" A paw slammed hard across her. "Gah!" She bounced along the floor, scraping a tiny ravine in the stone. Wincing, she got up and growled, "Fido, distract them!" The two charging timberwolves had to stop as soon as the diamond dog pounced on one of their ankles and started biting with a vengeance. One tried flicking him off and the other tried biting him in half, but he was swiftly scurrying his way around their limbs. In the meantime, Rainbow Dash had flown over into the center of the cyclonic mess of floating branches. "Come onnnnn... Gimme a good one. Gimme a good one. Throw me a friggin' bone here—Ha!" She grabbed a thick branch from the center with several twigs sticking out the end. "Ugh, what is supposed to be? A wooden kidney? Oh well..." She shoved it behind several of her rocket thrusters. "It's barbecue now!" She fired half of her thrusters, spinning in a literal circle as she took the time to roast a billowing blaze to life at the end of the branch. When she finally hovered to a stop, she weaved and wobbled dizzily in mid-air. "Whoahhh...Nnngh—Brrrbrrr..." Shaking the cobwebs out of her helmet, Rainbow held the burning bush of a bludgeon in front of her and charged the two monsters across the way. "Hot lunch! Coming right up!" The diamond dog turned to see her. With a gasp, he leapt out of the way. Stupidly, one of the timberwolves lunged forth to bite him, only to swallow the burning mess straight down its throat. Its bright eyes flickered with emerald fear, but the diamond dog had leapt back onto its skull and forced its mouth shut before it could jerk away. "Ahhhhhh yeah!" Rainbow Dash grinned devilishly as she shoved the fiery brand even deeper down the creature's gizzard. "Might cause heartburn, ya demon butt sniffer!" As the canine turned to ash from the inside out, the second unexpectedly pounced over its sibling and charged straight into Rainbow. "Whoah—!" Her armor let loose a metallic ring as upper body was swallowed entirely. She felt herself being lifted up towards the ceiling in the monster's jaws as her rear hooves dangled in the open. "Gggggghhhh..." She saw nothing but vaporous green smoke and saliva outside her helmet's visor. "Ughhh... impending horrible death or rancid breath?" She answered herself by firing all thrusters at once. "Physical challenge, crudface! Nnnnnnghhh!" The small cavity of the creature's mouth heated up around her. Its wooden teeth and gums caught aflame, and all that was keeping her from roasting in an oral oven was the armor Imre had slapped together for her. Not only was the whimpering monster's skull catching fire, but she was shoving it clear across the arena. When she finally snapped loose in a spray of ashen branches, she flung its smoldering body into the heap of coalescing branches. Everything burst into flames like a douse of napalm, and soon the enemy was nothing but a miniature forest fire adding soot to the walls of the place. Rainbow Dash hovered about in a serpentine fashion. Then, with a moan, she fell limply in the center of the arena. Imre, the diamond dog, and several of the other equines rushed over. Up above, Roarke icily pivoted her head to stare at Terra. Terra's jaw was clenching and unclenching in mixed confusion and frustration. She avoided the gaze of the metal mare who was a quarter of her size. Lady Pestiferous, however, took a deep, wheezing breath and signaled towards a guard pony to her right. The mare nodded back and spoke into a sound stone. Roarke caught it from the corner of her lensed vision. She glanced at the Lady with a look of shock. Pestiferous said nothing. Her mucousy eyes narrowed on the arena. Down below, Imre lifted Rainbow's limp body. The diamond dog hopped over, chewing on a burning branch and looking worried. "Come on... not now, ya stupid bird pony!" Imre slapped Rainbow's helmet several times. "We need you!" "I... I don't get it..." A stallion stammered. "Is she dead?" "No..." Imre sighed long and hard. "I think the idiot has fallen unconscious—" "Psyche!" Rainbow Dash shot up with a shout. "Gaah!" Imre jerked back. Frowning, she shoved her so that she fell on her left side. "You're asinine!" "Owwwww-owowowow—Snkkkt—heheheh!" Rainbow Dash trembled to get back up on all four hooves. "Still not right, but close enough." She tilted her helmeted head up towards the crowd. "Ya hear that, ya lousy, overhoof, bitball pitchers?! It'll take a lot more than a bunch of walking, growling wooden benches to take on the likes... of... me..." She and everypony around her fell dead quiet as the centermost circle of the arena slid open. The air above filled with bright violet luminescence, followed by a hideous growling. Cranking motors rumbled beneath the floor as a giant platform rotated up, and seated upon it—towering in effluent might above every equine in attendance—was a hulking beast glittering from muzzle to tail with twinkling, cosmic wrath. "Hckkk! Behold!" Pestiferous shouted above the awestruck crowd. "The ultimate tessssshht for the ultimate bloodletter! A daughter of the starsssshhh for the daughtersssssh of Ssssshearo!" Several chains snapped loose as—with thudding paws—the Ursa Major spun around. Urged on by pain and anger, it growled loudly toward the far ends of the arena and the crowd beyond. Its razor-sharp teeth perfectly reflected Rainbow's limp figure as it stared her and her group down with a crested brow furrowed. Imre's eyes were twitching. The diamond dog dropped the stick from its mouth while several stallions suddenly smelled their own urine. "Huh..." Rainbow cocked her helmeted head to the side. "So that's why Twilight didn't want us to know." Gulping, she glanced over her armored shoulder and stammered, "Does anypony know a lullaby?" Then all sound was swallowed by the Ursa's charging roar.