//------------------------------//
// Past Equestria : Princess Celestia, Personal Thoughts 
// Story: Clankers 
// by ISKV 
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I... I'm so sorry Luna... You were killing, right, left, human, demon... even some of our own! Why!? WHY!? I know that you were unpopular and you wished to have the same amount of attention as I, but there is a difference between choice and force! I... I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to tell you that there were ponies who loved you for who you were...

Every time I look towards the moon, I feel a few tears in the corner of my eyes. My servants, guards, advisers, VIPs, they all see me in awe. They think of me as an immortal god, who's will and heart are finely controlled. That I can, set my mind in granite or melt my emotions into rose pedals.

They think wrong. I am a pony. A pony who lost her sister. Oh Luna, if you can hear me from my throne in Canterlot to the desolate plains of your moon, I will plead, I will beg, I will bow down to you.

I am sorry. 

A thousand times later, and I will say it a thousand times more if need be. And do not worry about wasting my life. Without you... I admit, there is little left in life without my beloved sister.

...

I have just completed the Equestrian Constitution. This will make the country self-sufficient. I have already assembled the First Session of Parliament and will step down from my throne in roughly eighteen hours. Starlight Sparkle has been elected as Prime Minister. A good choice. This country's future is in good hooves.

...

Politics are boring. I find myself drowsy, the lords and commoners melting together into a dream. And some of those dreams I find horrifying. I see, not my own ponies, but the strange, alien faces of the humans. In the short time I spent with them, I learned that they are stubborn, tenacious, and will stand back up no matter what the punishment. But I see... I see their distorted bodies melting in Nightmare Moon's firestorms, men, women, and children alike all screaming for mercy.

I can only hope for forgiveness.

Among the blurry ponies is a mare that has an uncanny resemblance to you. She is a dark, midnight blue with navy mane. More than once, I have jumped awake, thinking you have returned. But alas, I was disappointed.

Immortality is a double-edged sword, but it is a double-edged sword that cuts you both ways.

...

Not four hours after the first session, a maid has discovered my body hanging from the ceiling by a noose around my neck. I was blue in the face, and could not remember the events that took place shortly after. I regained consciousness in a first-class hospital bed, surrounded by caretakers and a tearful Cadenza. 

I had attempted to commit suicide, and the gravity of the situation has caught up with me. Cadenza is screaming at me, screaming for anything to happen. Apparently I was staring into her face and she thought that while they had managed to save my body, they had failed to recover my mind.

They all breathed in relief as I responded.

...

The new light of dawn warms my face as cold tears spill down on the smooth marble of my balcony. I finally realize what I did. 

I hope, in my subject's infinite mercy that they may forgive me for being selfish. I felt as if I had no reason to live. But I remembered a quote from my past I ran into an old, grizzled traveling merchant selling wood carvings of random objects. He was the first human I'd seen with my own eyes, and one of the few rare humans that lived in what is now Equestria. My parents had just passed, and I was wandering the path with no destination in mind. However the words he spoke through his creaky jaw and crooked teeth still resonate in my mind.

"Ya don't die when yer heart stops beatin', ya die' when yah run outta things ta live for'."

My country.

My ponies.

My Cadenza.

My Sister.

...I'm sorry...