Parade Coverage
Chapter 2
To my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle (c/o Spike the Dragon):
Is there any way I might be able to assist you in getting you and your friends over to Canterlot? There is after all that little matter of the awards ceremony for your defeat of Discord to attend, a ceremony that is now ten minutes overdue.
Your Mentor,
~Celestia, Princess of Equestria~
Dear Princess Celestia:
Spike here, in the passenger compartment of the stalled Ponyville Express. The ponies left five minutes ago. Twilight said she was going to try and teleport all of us to the Audience Room in one big jump.
Knowing her, they’re probably stuck treading water in the lily pond behind the palace.
Also, they forgot to take me with them.
Again.
Any chance you can at least send a flying chariot by so I don’t miss the after-party?
Your faithful servant,
-Spike the Dragon-
“We have plumbed the depths of the Stygian pool, and not a trace of an inert Element did We discover!” Princess Luna announced cheerily as she re-entered the Audience Room. “Shall We next scan the insides of the walls for their giblets?”
Every last pony in the room save one looked at her in a mix of shock and horror.
“’Twas a joke!” Luna quickly exclaimed, and then sighed inwardly when this had no effect in lifting the mood of the ponies. Luna had matured from the filly form she wore after the Nightmare Moon curse was lifted into her adult form quite recently, and as a result, she noticed an unfortunate shift in how she was perceived by her subjects. While before they spurned her (and, she suspected, mocked her behind her back), now they feared her (and, she suspected, schemed to destroy her behind her back). “Have our subjects lost their sense of humor, Sister?” she asked bitterly.
Celestia meanwhile had just completed her slow facehoof in response to her sister’s earlier line. For a pony that knew nothing of gallows humor when she left, she sure jumped in hooves first! she thought glumly to herself. “Perhaps it would be best if we focused on the search over jokes until the Bearers have been located,” she suggested gently. “For instance, did you check the Statue Garden to make sure that—?”
“We did,” Luna interrupted, “and We can assure you that He hasn’t moved.” She looked over Spike’s letter before asking, “Hast thine student ever attempted a jump this precipitous before?”
“No,” Celestia answered, “and she did it under time pressure, which she’s never been good at handling.”
Princess Luna sighed. “Then their location couldst be anywhere in Canterlot. Or under it. That was not meant in jest,” she added.
“There’s an idea,” said Princess Celestia. She gestured at her captain of the guards. “I need you to put together a small party to check the Catacombs. Be sure to avoid—”
“Actually,” the Captain said, his head bowed in trepidation over the fact that he had dared to interrupt his sovereign, “I think I might know where Twilight is.”
“You do?” asked Princess Celestia.
The Captain summoned one of his lieutenants. “Southern Moss here says he saw them appear for just a moment behind the second pillar, second row,” he said, pointing at the pillar in question. “And then they disappeared again.”
The Princess of the Sun responded by sharply sucking in her breath.
Luna looked back and forth between the Princess and the Captain, her lips pursed. “And this revelation hast import because...?” she prompted.
“That’s where the other portal to Earth was, before I closed it,” explained Celestia. “If she had the bad luck to land her teleportation precisely on it, there’s a chance that would have temporarily reopened the portal and sent them straight to Earth. Or Discord could have had a hoof in it,” she added with a sigh. “There’s no way of knowing what effect His temporary release might have had on the barriers between dimensions.”
“The other portal,” Luna said incredulously. “And when, pray tell, were you going to inform Us of that unexpected development?”
“I would have gotten around to it!” Celestia said defensively. “I’m still briefing you on everything that happened during your absence. That was rather low in the priority list.” The look in her eyes made it clear that this wasn’t the whole reason.
Luna put on a predatory grin. “If the human who passed through the portal held anything in common with the last, his verbal spars with you must have lifted the rafters with their audacity,” she purred.
Celestia blushed.
“Of course, Our imaginings are based on the assumption that said visitor was a ‘he’,” Luna continued. “A female human in Equestria, on the contrary, would have been most intriguing.”
“No, it was most definitely a ‘he’,” the elder sister said primly. “I’ll tell you all about it once we get our subjects back to Equestria.”
“And what of the original portal?” asked Luna. “Is there need to monitor that location for unexpected openings as well? Or have you moved that spot to the Palace?”
“No, it’s still in the same place as before,” answered Celestia. “Nine hundred and eighty strides northwest of Hoofington’s city hall. I hear they still can’t grow any crops out there.” As she was saying this, the Princess walked over to the pillar where the lieutenant had seen the six ponies briefly appear. “But before we check on that, let’s get to work retrieving the Bearers. If we’re lucky, they may have completely escaped detection by the humans.”