//------------------------------// // Act 2: Timey Wimey Sun // Story: Metal Gear Toast 4: Guns of the Alicorns // by Tommy_Wiseau //------------------------------// --------Act 2: Saiyan Sun-------- After the car crash, Toast and Super Kami Guru walked into the forest in which they crashed, in order to get their bearings. “Wait, why the hell are we still staying in this forest?” said Toast “They are probably looking for us, we have to lay low,” explained Super Kami Guru “I am tired of your bullshit, I am leaving this hellhole, and going back to my peaceful home, you are no better than those capitalist carrotbowl merceponaries.” Toast then ran off towards the road ranting. “What a floop.” A few moments later… Super Kami Guru stopped waiting for him to come walking back, it was dark and it just so happens an Equestrian OP Harrier was flying overhead. Super yelled out to the pilot. The harrier descended and picked him up. Now, Super is off to cut off his liabilities and tie off the ends. The Pilot lifted off and started back to the islands. 18 y3r5 34r1i3r… “M0M, 1 h4t3 y0u, y0u w0n7 137 m3 b3 wh0 1 w4n7 70 b3!” said the young Kami. “I am TIRED of your fucking bullshit son, there is no such thing as hackers, and you will never be one!” screamed out Super Mommy Guru frustratingly. Kami ran upstairs crying hard enough to kill Barack Obama in the future, which would really be the present, but this is a flashback, so it kills his future self. He slams the door with forces of that of which a god could not even survive, threatening to destroy the fabric of time. In his room, he turns on the TV, aka “H4X 5c33n”. The show that was on would end up changing his life forever, Dragonball Z. “Wh47 k1nD 0f F4gG07 5h0w 15 7h15?” Said the Immature H4x0r Guru. He continued watching. All of a sudden he got a sudden urge to all of his energy from watching the show. He started chanting. “KAMI KAMI KAMIIIIIII KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” An impulse of energy went through the house killing both of his parents, and effectively fixing his voice. It seems like he is evolving… Immature H4x0r Guru has evolved into… Super Kami Guru! You have earned 2.5 EXP! Back to present day… Toast was walking down the road with nowhere to go; he stumbled across a few bodies along the way. Eventually he made it to a random gas station; he couldn’t help but have a feeling of déjà vu. He approached the doors. It felt as if somebody was going to ambush him when he opened the doors. He just stood there staring at the doors, haunted by the memories of his childhood… 18 Kawaii Desu years ago… Toast was getting ready to go to his first day of Weeaboo Highschool, before he could run out of the door, his father came up to him. “I reckon ya goin to Capitalist school like a good boy?” asked the Father “Kawaii desu, NO father-sun , I will never be like you, you are a capitalist scoundrel, very unhonorable.” Toast screamed. “Aw Hell no, Toast, that is it, ur getting the smackdown.” As Toast’s dad said, getting in stance for the smackdown. Toast’s Dad gave Toast the smackdown. Toast was on the ground bleeding, the blood looked Hyper-Realistic, the amount of realism in the blood caused his father to puke beer. Then, Toast used his puking as a distraction to get away, He ran to the nearest building other than his own house, which turned out to be a gas station. He threw open the greasy doors and walked in. “Oh no, why do you non Kawaii people have to be in here again, you are all faggot-suns.” Said Toast “Give us our lunch money now, or else.” There were 4 black children standing in front of him with plastic knuckles and Plastic Baseball Bats. “Haven’t you faggot-sons learned the first time?” Toast-Sun said as he unholstered his Super Desu Kawaiitana. Before they could respond Toast slashed all of their weapons in half. His victory did not last long, as the black children had called for their parents. “What the fuck you think your doin to mah Keedz, I will kill u ass.” Said one of the fathers. He got out his pistol, held it sideways, and started shooting Toast. When of the bullets hit Toast in the lung. He was immediately evacuated to the hospital. The doctors said if he does not stop with this weeaboo talking bullshit, his lung would collapse, so he stopped talking in Desu. He has never trusted a single black man, or teenager since. Back to present day… What Toast saw put him to peace, it was the four black children from his childhood, dead. “Oh Hai.” Said a mysterious voice. “Who’s there?” said Toast “It is me Tommy Wiseau, creator of the Tommy WiShow.” Said Wiseau “Oh hai, Tommy.” Said Toast