Slayers F

by Fizzy Orange

MAGIC: When it goes wrong, it goes REALLY wrong

Lina Inverse didn’t want to open her eyes just yet. Whatever her head was laying on it was very comfortable, like a bouncy pillow or something. She fought against wakefulness but the memories of how she landed where she was in the first place just couldn’t be prevented from reasserting themselves.

Fact was, she didn’t remember going to sleep. She did remember that fight against undead ghouls in that temple…and then an explosion and nothing. Finally she decided to give up and open her eyes. She found that her head was actually resting on the generous bust of…

“NAGA?!” she shouted.

“Five more minutes papa…” mumbled Lina’s self-proclaimed rival, as she grabbed Lina in a ridiculously tight hug and then rolled on the side, clutching the diminutive sorceress like a plush toy.

“Can’t…breath…Naga...” came the muffled cries of Lina inverse from between Naga’s chest pillows.

Raindrops was tending to the cloud cover over Carrot Top’s farm, making sure the carrots were going to get enough rain, when she heard an explosion, seemingly coming from Whitetail Woods.

“What the…”

“Lina! Why are you so mean to me,” complained the Naga from her position on the ground, tears streaking down her soot-covered face.

“You deserve twice that for the stunt you pulled back there,” replied Lina, standing with her back to Naga on the other side of the clearing.

The two, once properly awakened, had found themselves to be in the middle of a small clearing in some sort of forest they didn’t recognize. Lina could swear the last forest they had been in had been more coniferous.

“How could have I known that old mirror was a magical artifact?” asked the dark haired sorceress, siting up and crossing her arms.

“We were in a place called Temple of the Magic Mirror!” shouted Lina, turning back to glare at her unwanted travel companion. “Why did you have to go and hit the darn thing with a Freeze Arrow?!”

Naga turned her head away, pouting, “I was trying to hit that icky undead thing! Why do we always end up in stinky dungeon with slimy monsters anyway?”

“I do it for the treasure, who knows why you follow me.”

“I follow you because I’m your rival off course! If you can do something then I must do it too!” said Naga, dramatically pointing a finger at the redheaded sorceress. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it though.”

Lina put a hand to her forehead in frustration. “Whatever… maybe now you can tell where you’ve dragged us. I don’t remember what happened after the mirror blew up.”

“I didn’t drag us anywhere, I don’t remember anything either.”

"That's just great," said Lina, sarcasm almost visibly dripping from her voice."That mirror must have been some sort of teleportation artifact. Who knows where we ended up because of you!"

"It's not my fault those ancient folks can't properly label their magical doodads. Don't blame me for the shortcomings of our forefathers Lina, that's terribly unfair," replied Naga as she stood up.

"You're the one who blasted it and got us lost who knows where!"

"What is done is done," replied the scantly clad sorceress, before a grumble from her stomach interrupted her. "Why don't we find a place to eat instead of standing around assigning blames to each other?"

"You mean blame you?" Replied her petite companion, glaring at her, before her own stomach protested. "You got a point on the food thing. Let's ray wing out of here."

Naga agreed with a nod, but before the two could cast anything, they heard a piercing female cry reverbating through the woods.

Lina gasped."Someone's in trouble!"

Naga shrugged. "It's not our problem, besides I'm hungry."

"Maybe she's being attacked by bandits, and bandits mean treasure!" Said Lina with a greedy glint in her eyes.

"And maybe food!" Said the other, rubbing her exposed stomach.

"And even possibly a reward!"

"Let's go!" They both said, dashing in the direction of the cries.

They weaves between the trees, scattering birds and confused bunnies in their wake.

"Stay back, leave me alone," they heard the same voice as before say.

"We go when you pay," replied a gruff, and rather stupid sounding, voice.

Lina smirked. "Sounds like bandits alright."

They could see the trees thinning and three figures with red vests standing in the middle of what they assume was a road in the woods.

"Hold it right there, bandits!" Shouted Lina as her and Naga leapt onto the road behind the three figures.

Her heroic entrance was marred by the fact that she immediately froze at the scene she discovered. Three of the ugliest beastmen she had ever seen, all of different height and wearing identical red vests, where standing menacingly around a horse. Or rather a pony, seeing as it was rather short. The pony had a cream coloured coat and a two-tone mane in blue and pink, and it wore a pair of saddle bags. Of the woman they had heard through the trees there was no sign. Three bulldog faced beastmen, and even the pony, just stared at the two sorceress, seemingly just as confused by the situation as the two humans.

A gust of wind pushed a bunch of leaves across the road before anything moved. Finally it was the second tallest of the bulldog faced guys who talked first.

"What are they?" He asked.

"I think tall one female Minotaur, look at her udder," said the tallest one, pointing at Naga.

Said sorceress let out an indignant gasp while Lina chuckled at the description of Naga's assets.

"You idiot," called the short one, jumping to smack the back of his partner's vest. "Minotaurs have horns on their head, not their shoulders, they obviously monkeys!"

"Allright you jokers, enough with the name calling! Where's the girl you were threatening?" Called Lina.

"I'm...I'm right here," spoke the pony, timidly raising one of her front hoof.

Lina put a hand to her face, "Off course..." She said softly.

Naga decided to take this lull in the action would be a perfect time to introduce herself and began wit her trademark laugh. The three dog-faced crooks and the pony put their paws, or hooves, up to their ears as one.

"Prepare yourself bandits! For you face the beautiful Naga the Serpent and her sidekick, Lina Inverse!" She declared.

"I'm not your sidekick!" Complained Lina. "You know what, let's just finish this quickly!"

Raindrops was flying over Whitetail Woods, trying to find any traces of that explosion she had heard when she witnessed something that was both impressive and rather confusing.

Not far from her position there was a sudden explosion and a pillar of dirt, rock and smoke burst from the ground! It was as if something had exploded underground. She saw three Diamond Dogs, fur blackened and signature vest shredded by the explosion, flying off into the distance and disappearing over the horizon.

She wondered if the Diamond Dogs had some sort of mining accident and if they had been doing illegal mining near Ponyville again. That explosion looked like it had come from the road in the woods, so Raindrops decided to go and make sure nopony, or dog, hadn’t gotten hurt by that explosion.

When she flew over to the site she found a smoking crater, a frightened looking Bon Bon backing away from it and two lanky figure in sinister looking capes advancing toward her. She had no idea what those things were but they looked really frightening.

Raindrops did the first thing that came to her and she dived toward the two creatures.

“Get away from her!” she shouted loudly as she approached the two figures.

“Ah! Nagaprotectme!” quickly said the smaller of the two as it grabbed the other one and threw it in Raindrops path.

Raindrops ran hoof firt into the creature, sending it flying over the head of the smaller one and hitting the tree. It slid to the ground, twitching and groaning in pain with two horseshoe shaped mark on its face.

“Liiiinaaaa…” it whined.

“Hey what’s the big idea you crazy flying donkey?” asked the obviously outraged redheaded creature.

Raindrops landed and got into a charging stance “Donkey? I’ll show who’s a donkey you hairless ape!”

Bon Bon suddenly stood between her and the creature. “It’s allright Raindrops, they saved me from those Diamond Dogs!”

The redheaded creature nodded. “See? Not bad guys!”

“Now calm down, we need to track down Trixie so she can turn them back into ponies!” added Bon Bon, much to Raindrops surprise.

“Say what?” she and the mysterious creature said at the exact same time.