//------------------------------// // Don't Panic // Story: The Unwilling Command // by KGBCowgirl //------------------------------// As an avid reader, I had a bad habit of referring to novels, history books, and other written media whenever trying to make a joke, prove a point, or cope. Not necessarily in that respective order, though. I mention this because when I have stress overloads, I have this bad habit of passing out. This is why I have to repeatedly remind myself of the words printed on Douglas Adam's book within a book: "Don't Panic." Those two simple words can do wonders for one's sanity whenever they are faced with anything from a simple test to something as bad as watching their perception of reality fall apart in the course of a single night. In less than twenty-four hours, I had quit a contract, got my old boss arrested, got a new job at the first and only club I'd ever performed at, killed my old boss, nearly got raped by a woman who I thought was a drunk cosplayer, tried to deny the existence of magic, and finally been told that I was face to face with a fictional deity. Panic? No. I didn't panic, I haven't ever truly panicked since basic training. I just went into safety mode... YEAH! That's it, safety mode... Who am I kidding, I was due for a panic attack of colossal proportions any day now. I awoke on one of the club's long couches to the sight of all three women standing over me, all wearing worried expressions. I knew I wasn't dead, since my head was throbbing. "I need another drink." I moaned tiredly I'm an idiot. My face was met with the suffocating valley known simply as Vinyl's cleavage as she glomped me and started screaming a variety of things related to how worried she was for me. I figured that she had no idea what she was doing, but I was having trouble breathing and ready to pass out again from oxygen deprivation. I put a hand against her stomach and tried to push her away, but she wouldn't let go. Let it be known that no matter how cool she acts, any girl will flip out if she thinks one of her male friends is hurt. I started tapping on her side, which got her attention. "Can't breathe!" I tried to say, but it sounded more like "Cmmmf bfffff!" I was finally released, and with Vinyl's chest no longer blocking my airflow, I took several deep breaths. I looked around wildly, trying to regain my bearings, and spotted Celestia sitting with Octavia on the other end of the couch they'd placed me on after I'd passed out. "I am sorry for the suddenness of my appearance, Maximus." Celestia said apologetically, an embarrassed smile on her face. "You were rather direct with your questions, though." She pointed to a glass on the table next to me, which contained more of the Blue Storm. I reached for the glass before I noticed something different about it. There appeared to be some sort of pill in the bottom. It didn't look like anything I'd ever seen before, so I refrained from grabbing the glass. Instead, I opted to sit up and rub my eyes. I was beginning to become tired of my fainting spells, since I used to be capable of experiencing several instances of severe shock, with the only side effects being extreme exhaustion. "Are you going to drink?" She asked, and I could tell that she was expecting me to simply toss back the drink like I had with the one I'd mixed. I eyed her suspiciously, thinking that the pill in the bottom of the glass was something that I didn't want in my system. "I prefer to mix my own drinks," I said cautiously. I figured that I wouldn't let her know I'd noticed the pill. I stood, watching the Princess, Octavia, and Vinyl for any signs of aggression. I walked over to the bar and mixed my own Blue Storm. During the process, I thought I heard a faint "plop" sound, but wrote it off as the splashing of the alcohol mixing. I raised the glass, slammed it on the counter, and knocked it back quickly. Then I noticed the sensation of something solid going down my throat. 'Oh, fuck me...' I thought as I tried to keep whatever it was from going down my throat. I felt the alcohol and the object hit my stomach. I glanced nervously at Celestia, who had walked over to sit at the bar. "What did I just swallow?" I asked quietly, not wanting to move around in case it was some kind of poison. "Do not be afraid, Maximus." Celestia said kindly. "If my theory about you is wrong, the tablet will do nothing but pass through your body harmlessly. If I am correct, though..." Her eyes indicated some sort of excitement. I could tell that I was not going to like what was about to happen. I swallowed nervously, unsure of how to proceed. I poured another drink and walked around to sit next to Celestia. I felt Vinyl sit on the opposite side of me, but my attention was focused on the Princess with prismatic hair and an apparent penchant for not giving people details about their situation. "While we wait for... whatever you gave me, to kick in, how about you tell me your end of this little clusterfuck?" I said sharply. I needed answers, and I needed them NOW. Celestia looked at me, then Vinyl, before sighing. "I admit that I haven't been very forthcoming with you, and I'm sorry for that. You must understand, however, that Equestria is on the border of collapse. Not just our government, but the world itself. Harmony has been lost, and we needed to retreat to a safer location." She used her magic to pour herself a glass of what I guessed was the club's strongest whiskey. I raised my eyebrow at this, considering I wouldn't imagine royalty drinking something considered low-brow. She noticed my look and sipped from the glass before saying, "It's sweeter than cider. Now, I suppose you should probably grab a couple more bottles, this is a long story..." Equestria is known as a land of peace and harmony. A place where even the greatest problems can be solved through the powers of friendship. I swear, Maximus Cross, if you laugh at our culture one more time, I will hurt you. Now, as I said before, our land was one of nearly perfect existence. We had our own problems, and were just as susceptible to the venom of jealousy, greed, mistrust, all of which had plagued our land more than once. You are already aware of our most recent battles against Nightmare Moon, the Changelings, Discord, and King Sombra. What I'm sure you are not aware of is the second uprising of the Changelings. They have infiltrated our kingdom once more, and I had to send many of my subjects all over this world. This was meant only as a temporary solution, as I thought that the uprising would be quelled in a single day, same as the first... "Sister! We cannot hold back the army for much longer! We must retreat to the other world, lest we be felled by these abominations!" Luna yelled over the raging sounds of battle. She looked on as her older sister, Celestia, stared in horror at the mass slaughter in the streets. Based on the reports, the only place in Equestria that had not been overrun by the advancing forces was Ponyville. However, the small hamlet was still in a state of mass panic. Celestia could only stare in horror as she watched her loyal soldiers be mercilessly cut down by the army of Queen Chrysalis. She was shaken out of her shock as a massive explosion resounded from the far end of the castle. Canterlot was in anarchy, and the Princesses would need to evacuate their ponies to somewhere, anywhere that the Changelings could not follow. Finally, after she began to regain her senses, Celestia looked to Luna somberly, invoking an order that she had prayed to the Creator would have never needed to be carried out. "Our home is in flames, and Chrysalis fast approaches. Gather any survivors and bring them to Ponyville, We must go to the land of the humans." Luna stared at her sister for several moments, apparently hoping she had misheard her sister. The human world was a land of strife, intolerance, and hate. As such it was a place where the ponies of Equestria would never be able to retain their innocence. The Lunar Princess nodded. "Yes, sister. I am loathe to say such, but you are right. I shall gather the few survivors from Canterlot and meet you in Twilight Sparkle's library posthaste." She placed a hoof on her sister's shoulder in a comforting gesture before disappearing in a flash of azure magic. Celestia sighed as she considered the severity of the order she had just given. Hope was lost to this world, but she would return with reinforcements when she was able. Doubt's seeds were still in her mind, however, forcing her to ponder whether her homeland would ever be liberated from the ensuing tyranny of Chrysalis. The Princess of the Sun stole one last look at the remains of her capital city before tears formed in her eyes. "Canterlot, you will be free again. Perhaps the race of man shall hold the secrets to your liberation. May the Creator preserve you." And with those final words, Celestia performed the teleportation spell, leaving the burning remains of the fallen city behind. Celestia reappeared outside the library of Ponyville. The sight that met her eyes tore her apart, reminding her of exactly what she was attempting to save. The cries of despair from the hundreds of ponies that had escaped from Canterlot and Cloudsdale bespoke the sorrow and despair that plagued her few remaining subjects. Her own teary visage matched those of the Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth ponies who had lost their homes and families to the Changelings. The first pony to approach her, trotting in a halfhearted fashion, was her faithful student, a unicorn by the name of Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of the Element of Magic. The young mare looked as if she had all but lost the will to live, having been a firsthand witness to the horrors that the Changelings had inflicted upon Equestria. Tears ran down Twilight's face as she faced her teacher. In between the heart-wrenching sobs, Twilight related to Celestia how she had been in Canterlot visiting her parents. Celestia was aware of this, but the next piece of information only deepened her sorrow. Twilight, who had been enjoying a quiet dinner with her family, was forced to watch as several Changelings blasted through the door to her parents' home and viciously slaughtered her mother and father before her eyes. As Twilight continued to cry, Celestia could see the small marks of dried blood on her face, signifying that she had not only watched her parents die, but had been exposed to her very first sight of bloodshed. Celestia reached out with one foreleg and gave her student a comforting hug. Twilight continued to cry, her tears seeping into Celestia's coat, but the Princess did not care. She stayed there, giving her student words of comfort until she spotted Luna, who was equally comforting both Applejack: the Element of Honesty, and Rarity: the Element of Generosity. Both were inconsolable, because they had lost family as well. As Celestia looked around, she could see big Macintosh, Applejack's older brother, giving comfort to the trio known as the Cutie Mark Crusaders. A number of other ponies could be seen crying and, in some cases, simply staring off into space due to shock. A number of other fairly well known ponies from Canterlot could be seen: Fleur de Lis and her husband, Fancy Pants, the oddly friendly musical duo of Octavia Philharmonica and Vinyl Scratch, and a number of other survivors from the annihilation of the Equestrian capital. Hundreds of pegasi had been removed from their homes in light of the impending invasion on the city in the sky. Celestia was slightly relieved to see that two of the Wonderbolts, Spitfire and Soarin', had been able to escape with their kin from Cloudsdale. The normally flamboyant and outspoken Element of Loyalty, Rainbow Dash, was unusually quiet, stoically holding her best friend and the Element of Kindness, Fluttershy, as the latter cried her eyes out. The last of the Elements, Pinkie Pie, was even more out of sorts. Her normally puffed out hair hung flat as a look of depression marred her normally joyous and cheery demeanor. She seemed to have shut down from the world around her, so as to try to detach herself from the living nightmare that had taken hold of Equestria. The Elements of Harmony were all wearing their respective artifacts, apparently thinking they were to go to battle. This was apparently before they'd received the news that their friends and family were either dead or evacuating in the panic. Nopony was expecting such a massacre to strike their home, and it showed just how sheltered the ponies of Equestria were in terms of war. Celestia wished she could tell everypony that things would be alright, but even she couldn't convince herself of such false hope. She finally resolved to choke down her overwhelming emotions and reveal her emergency plan. "Everypont, if I could have your attention." She called out in a slightly louder variant of her usual voice. Seeing that only a few ponies could even hear her, she resolved to use the Royal Canterlot Voice. "WOULD EVERYPONY PLEASE BE QUIET. I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT." This silenced the large crowd rather quickly. "Citizens of Equestria, as you all know, a great tragedy has stricken our home. The armies of Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings even now advance on this, the last free town of our country. I am sorry to say, but we cannot hope to counter this foe. Millions of ponies have already lost their lives at the hooves of these merciless invaders. Hope is lost for our home." This elicited many whispers of fear and dissent. "Not all is lost, though." Celestia continued. "Another world exists, beyond the senses of any of you, and may even be regarded as nothing more than a foal's fantasies. It is a world where the only sapient species is a bipedal distant relative of that world's apes. This species is know as the humans." Even more whispers began, more than a few questioning the sanity of their Princess. "I will not lie to you, my little ponies. Humans are a cruel race. They are not as inclined as you or I to the merits of harmony. Instead, they choose war and strife as their way of living. They bicker with each other over the smallest of things and attempt to push responsibility to others. Despite this, they have developed a stubbornness and will that allows them to survive, even through the harshest of conflicts." Luna stepped in at this point, allowing her sister to rest her voice, which she knew was already abused from the use of the Royal Canterlot Voice. Luna cleared her throat before continuing at a normal volume. "It is because of their merits that the humans have been seen as potential saviors for our world. Though they are disharmonious by their very nature, a sense of justice is deeply ingrained into even the youngest foals of their kind. Whether they keep this value is completely up to the individual, and it is typically forfeited in favor of their greatest flaws, greed and hatred being the most destructive. Our proposal, nay our plan of action, is to send every one of you to the human world. We do this so that you may find those few humans that put their well-being before others, those that would sacrifice their own safety to protect complete strangers. In essence, we need to find humans that can hold to the very same values we ponies hold so close to our hearts." Luna looked to Celestia, who was ready to speak again. The Solar Princess moved to stand next to her younger sister and looked out to the ponies gathered in the middle of Ponyville. Their subjects were silent at this point, enraptured by the plan that their Princesses had laid before them. "Know this, my little ponies. The human world is not familiar with magic. In fact, they have become so detached from it that many of their kind are all but numb to even the slightest whisper of magic. This had led to a common belief that magic does not even exist in their world. They favor the use of advanced machines in place of the powers of nature. They have abused their world to the point that it is almost on the point of collapse itself. Many of those who you meet will regard even your most advanced feats as nothing more than parlor tricks. Your abilities must instead be carried out with the use of their technology. You will find the physiology of humans to be strange at first, but do not fret. We will transport anything you need to the cities of the humans that you will meet. You will know who your partner is from the very first moment that you lay eyes on them, and you must ensure that they unlock their own talents, as the humans do not have cutie marks. They are a species of many varying talents, but almost never find their true calling. They may even be performing tasks completely in contrast with their true talent, but they will find the same joy in their calling that you all have come to know. They merely require a small push." Celestia finished her half of the speech and began preparing the massive spell necessary to transport the hundreds of ponies gathered before them. Luna began her final part of the speech, using the Royal Canterlot Voice to ensure that she was heard throughout the town. "When you arrive, my sister and I will be there to guide you in the basics of co-existing with the humans. In addition, your own bodies will need to be forfeited for the duration of your stay in their world. We cannot emphasize the importance that you do not reveal yourselves as ponies, as our world is regarded as nothing more than a fictitious form of entertainment for children. It will not be easy, nor will the humans be kind to you, but it is for the greater good of Equestria that you must all succeed. If you do not, we may be left without a home to return to." Celestia had finished preparing the spell and was waiting for Luna to assist in the execution. Luna spoke on last time to the gathered ponies, who were, at this point, all shifting nervously, anticipating and slightly fearing what was to come. "May the Creator be with you all, and we wish you the best of luck." With this, Luna touched her horn to Celestia's, and in a massive flash of powerful magic, everypony in Ponyville disappeared.