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// Prologue: Moving On 
// Story: But Not Forgotten 
// by SilverDawn97 
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Prologue: Moving On

Now that I have finally found the light at the end of this long, dark tunnel, I have only one regret when I look back at the choices I've made. I regret that when I said goodbye, I never meant it as such. I meant for that last goodbye to change her heart, not to cut off mine. If there is even one more thing I wish to do in the years that remain to me, I wish to see her one last time. Not to beg she change her mind, not to question her decision, not even to tell her all the pain I've felt because of her. No, I want to see her again so that I can apologize for everything I put her through, and apologize for not listening to her sooner. For in the end, she was right all along. We were simply never meant to be together, no matter how much my heart told me otherwise at the time. I was never meant to love her, only to befriend her.		
Looking back, it was my friendship with her, however short it was, that opened my eyes to the world around me, and showed me that the path I had been treading would end only in pain and misery. In the end, it was her friendship that saved me from a fate worse than death. When I told her I loved her, she said that she just wanted to be friends. She was right when she told me we were simply not meant to be, and yet I still ignored her, still tried to win her heart even after she told me it belonged to another. I know now that it hurt her every time I told her how I felt, and I know it broke her heart every time she said no. It didn’t break her heart because she loved me however. It broke her heart because she loved everyone. She was the single kindest and most compassionate person I have ever known, and I saw the pain in her eyes every time she was forced to tell me that my love for her was misplaced. She hurt herself trying to protect me, just as I had tried to protect her when I left. 
In the end, it was that painful decision to leave my true home behind that finally broke my heart and soul. In those last few days of packing and saying goodbyes, I just sat there silently, unable to accept that I was leaving behind everything I had ever known. Despite the comfort of my family, I felt completely alone, cast adrift in a sea of uncertainty and pain. When I finally arrived in my new “home”, the only thing that ran through my head was that I had succeeded; I would never see her again. And it was that thought that finally killed me. I was a dead man waiting to die, going through the motions of life waiting for something to put me out of my misery. When I resumed my education at school, I went back to my old ways, putting on a mask of false happiness to protect those around me from the storm raging inside my soul. I made friends who meant nothing to me at the time, other than a means to distract myself from the pain. I thought I was lost, never to be found again. But I was wrong. My friends' troubles wore away at my shell of pain, providing me with this need to help them, to try and make their lives better, even though my own life no longer meant anything to me. By helping my friends, I developed an actual bond with them, and one by one, they found their way into my heart, slowly waking me up from the nightmare I had been living. 														
It was then that darkness made its move. The crushing depression struck suddenly, and completely overwhelmed me. I very nearly died once and for all that day, pushed beyond my limits, unable to hold onto what little hope I had left. It was then, in my darkest hour, that a faint light shone through the shadows. I had known her for some time, but I had never truly recognized how I felt when I was around her. When I was with her, I felt alive again, like my burden of pain and guilt had finally been lifted. It was then, in my darkest hour, that I remembered the only other person who had ever made me feel that way. It was her; the memories of the one I loved... The one who broke my heart. She had saved my life, had been the only other person who had made me feel this way before. And so I stood up. I shook off the darkness one last time, and I walked onwards towards this new light. I’m still walking, but I now know that I have left the darkness behind, once and for all. And so, now that I have found a future to walk towards, I am left shedding my regrets of the past. 							
But there is still one more thing left for me to do. One thing left for me to say to her, before I leave her behind forever. The last thing I will say to her will be “Goodbye. Goodbye, and good luck”. Then, and only then, will I be able to move on. And yet still I wonder sometimes, “What happens if I never get to say goodbye? What happens if I pass on from this world without seeing her again? What will I do then?”