Ever wanted to be somepony else? Rainbow Dash courteously invites you for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to step inside the mind of another pony. Only 25 bits to try!
A hooded figure set down the advertisement on the table and spoke to Twilight and Dash. It had only been five minutes since the leaflet had gone up.
“I found this when I was visiting town; looking for something, anything. It immediately caught my interest. I've had it rough since that fateful day. The one I wish I could erase,” the stranger muttered feebly. “Okay, now what does this leaflet even mean exactly?”
Rainbow Dash was about to speak before Twilight stopped her and spoke herself: “We can take you and put you into the body of another pony for around 10 minutes.”
“Which pony?”said the stranger, her voice cracking slightly. The emotion surging.
“The mail carrier, Derpy Hooves.”
She cried softly before chuckling in relief and taking off her hood.
“Gilda!” Dash gasped
“Look, I'm sorry for what I did. I had a lot to deal with that day and was covering up for it. I've really let myself go. Look at me!” Gilda cried pointing at her once strong physique; now riddled with flab. “I need to know what its like to be a pony. I'm not here to stay in Ponyville, I'm here to get back on track. Please, I need this.”
“Sure old-timer,” said Dash who was solely concentrated on the profit, “don't forget the 25 bits.”
“Sure, anything,” said the tearful griffon as she brought out the bag of bits. Dash snatched at it, prompting discerning looks from Twilight who was touched by Gilda's tale.
“We understand your pain Gilda and we are willing to forgive. Please, step this way, allow us take you to your new life.”
Twilight was now more eager to carry out Dash's plan. She was getting a profit and helping other ponies. Nothing wrong with that right?
Gilda let out a gleeful sound as she saw the portal, amazed by its complexity, and rushed in: eager to put her past behind her.
*****
“Oh, not again! How did you get in?” Carrot Top moaned.
“I win! I win!” Derpy yelled in delight, “almost Toppy, almost!”
“It's not a game, Derpy. You could have at least left some for me.”
“I do, I do!” said Derpy as she tapped her belly. “Want some?”
“Aw, thanks Derpy. Not sure how I'll be able to get the food out but I appreciate the thought,” said Carrot Top, hoping Derpy wouldn't reply with something gruesome.
Derpy however rushed forward and gave her a big warm hug to which she smiled in return. Carrot Top could never stay angry at her best friend for long. She had to remember that Derpy was a bit childish at times. Okay, all the time.
“Well, I have to go and get some more food now. Are you coming with me, Derpy?”
“Yay!” Derpy bellowed before following Carrot Top out of the house. The two friends and Gilda departed; the griffon beaming from inside Derpy, her eyes full of tears.
*****
“Thank you thank you thank you,” an emotional Gilda cried. “It was beautiful, funny and most importantly happy: everything I needed. I have seen how life needs to be lived. Farewell friends!”
Twilight watched, a tear in her eye, as a reformed Gilda ran out of her house, ready to start anew.
“See? That wasn't so bad.”
“I have to admit Rainbow Dash, that felt great. Not just because of the bits we gained.”
“We? Oh yeah right. Forgot you helped,” grumbled Dash, keen to hold on to the money. “Anyway, can I put the advertisement back up now?”
“Fine, but we're still only having one up; don't want too many a pony here at a time.”
*****
Unfortunately it didn't matter as Gilda had told many ponies before she rushed out of Ponyville. Soon a long queue was leading out of Twilight's house. Rainbow Dash had taken the role of welcoming the ponies in whilst Twilight, still anxious of the consequences, had taken position by the forest to question each pony after their experience. She didn't like what she saw.
“Are you all right, Twilight?” asked Fluttershy; also watching as ponies exited Derpy.
“No, I am not all right. Sorry Fluttershy, I thought things would be better, but just look at this!” Twilight gestured as Spike fell out of the sky. “Spike! What are you doing here!?”
“I thought I'd try that portal thing. It was free of charge you see, considering I live there. Couldn't pass the offer up,” replied Spike.
“Oh, I thought you'd taken my bits to pay. Well that's okay then. Are you feeling alright though?” asked Twilight, breathing a sigh of relief. Spike seemed normal enough...
“Why wouldn't I be alright? I feel great! Pretty hungry too. Now I gotta go, I had a cake I was wanting to make,” announced Spike.
“That's fine by me!” said Twilight, happy Spike was fine, “I have some gems I was saving up just for you. They're in th-”
“That's okay Twilight, I thought I might try muffins this time. Gems are getting boring ya see.”
With that Spike left for Sugarcube Corner, leaving a stunned Twilight and a confused Fluttershy behind.
“Not Spike too,” wailed Twilight, “how could he be bored of gems? He loves gems!”
Soon after, Rarity came out of the portal. Surely she couldn't have turned too?
“Rarity,” Twilight called, “how are you feeling?”
“I'm quite alright Twilight. When I heard about this portal...thing, I simply had to try it.”
“Have you experienced any life-altering feelings yet?”
“Do not fear, my heart and hoof are set firmly on designing dresses. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go get this dirt off my gown and settle down to making a nice muffin-themed dress. I believe it is quite “in” right now, don't you say?”
With that Rarity sauntered away leaving a growling unicorn.
“Fluttershy where are you going?”
“Oh, I have to try it now since everypony is. Can I bring Angel along too? If you don't mind that is.”
“No!” shouted Twilight; she did want to think of the effects it would have on a bunny.
“I'm going to Rainbow Dash right now to put an end to this!” I should have never gone along with her plan Twilight thought. How could she have been so simple-minded?
*****
Twilight approached the library only to find a swarm of ponies trying to get in.
“All right ponies, break it up; the service is closed for the day,” Twilight said with an authoritative voice; trying to speak above the chatter of the queuing ponies. It was no use: nopony gave a flying feather as to what she had to say. They were all desperate to get to the portal.
“Oh great, I have to queue to get into my own house,” Twilight said sarcastically. “Didn't you hear me? We're closed!”
“Are you kidding? Lyra laughed.“Rainbow Dash just said there's a discount on right now! Double savings!”
Twilight's anger was close to bursting. This had gone too far. Blessed by a sudden bout of knowledge she remembered that she was a unicorn and zapped herself inside her own house. She found Dash talking to Big Macintosh and also saw a huge pile of bits by the pegasus.
“I've always wanted to be a mare,” Mac admitted shyly, his voice soft and calm.“A pegasus too. Just wanna spread my wings like a beautiful butterfly and fly away.”
“Yup, we can do that for ya!” said Dash.“Right this way please!”
“Hold it right there Rainbow Dash! Can't you see what's happening? This portal is turning Ponyville upside down!”
“Oh not again. You're overreacting Twilight, this portal's great! It made Gilda all nice again.”
“That was a one-off. Gilda wanted to change her life where as these ponies just want to experience something new but being inside another pony changes their view on life thus altering their life itself!”
“That's nice Twilight. Gee, you need to calm down. I know just the thing. The portal's this way...”
“NO! Spike where are you?!” shouted Twilight.
“Right here, baking my cake. Don't hurt me please; I just want my muffin cake.”
“Take this letter to Celestia, now!”
“Whatever you say Twilight, just don't eat my cake,” whimpered Spike, embracing his cake.
*****
“She'll be on her way soon. I can finally rest in peace.”
“I'm sure she'll see reason and keep it open, it's such a wonderful thing.”
“Dash! Do you see what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is? We can't keep it open or the damage done will be irreversible!”
“No damage has been done! Everypony's fine!”
While the two ponies were arguing the newly-fitted door was smashed clean of its hinges and Derpy walked in. Big Mac chose this moment to tiptoe out, abandoning his dream of being a mare, and warned the other ponies to stay away: Derpy had cometh. Twilight and Dash cowered in the corner, their eyes filled with fear. Spike kept baking his cake.