//------------------------------// // Brilliance at its Best // Story: Being Derpy Hooves // by Xenos //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash approached the house, noticing that the door was missing. She found it when she entered; in pieces over the floor. That had been pretty inconsiderate of her. She rushed down to the basement to find Twilight standing by the portal, trying to attach wires to it but no success so far. “Rainbow Dash you're back! What took you so long, I thought you would've been able to fly back quicker than this,” said a bemused Twilight. “You'll never guess where I've been!” “Err, where have you been exactly?” “Wait for it...” tantalised Dash. “I'm waiting patiently,” said Twilight calmly. “Okay, I was...inside Derpy Hooves.” Dash waited for the shock reaction. It didn't come. “Umm, that's a bit frightening to know, Dash. Might I ask how exactly? Is she okay?” inquired the now unsettled Twilight. “Not literally! Well maybe, but I was inside her mind I'm sure; the portal took me there!” “Are you feeling all right Dash?” asked Twilight, the second pony to do so that day. A restless Rainbow Dash then told Twilight everything that had happened since she went through the portal. “I see. Well this was highly unexpected,” Twilight said sceptically. “You don't believe me? Come on, even after what happened when I was on my way back here? You can try the portal if you'd like,” tempted Dash. “Of course I believe you, I'm just wondering how this is even scientifically possible. And no Dash, I do not want to venture there. I'm certain it won't have a positive impact on one's mind,” said Twilight. “Speaking of which, do you want to go back there?” she asked, now with a hint of suspicion in her tone. “Umm,” Dash muttered; she couldn't lie, she really had to try it again. “Yeah, but only quickly I swear. Just want to do it once more. Research and stuff.” Twilight was still doubtful and knew that Rainbow Dash definetly didn't have research on her mind. Still, once more couldn't be too harmful, could it? She was wary of the psychological impact it would have but she had to get more information on this thing. The wires clearly weren't sufficient. “Okay, once more, then you stop.” “Sure whatever Twilight. I just feel like this thing completes me, you know? Shows me where my heart really lies.” Twilight didn't like the sound of that at all but the decision had been made. Rainbow Dash prepared herself again before entering the portal as quickly as her wings would allow; leaving a very worried unicorn behind. ***** “That's right Derpy, you like those muffins. You do Derpy, you REALLY do.” Dash was chilling in Derpy's mind again while she gorged on muffins at home. It was a good feeling; only wanting to eat muffins and having somepony else do all the work for you. Derpy quickly finished her meal but her desire for food was insatiable. She entered the kitchen and there it was: the fridge. Derpy's smile widened as she slipped into stealth mode and inched across the floor to the fridge, taking time to hide behind the chairs. Dash distinctly remembered that Carrot Top had just left the house. Therefore there was no need for stealth but she was loving her new lifestyle and played along. Derpy made the simplest things fun and interesting. They reached the fridge and Dash saw with disappointment that the fridge had some kind of lock on it. Derpy however was unfazed and proceeded to fiddle with the lock. As she had access to Derpy's thought process she realised that, according to Derpy, that this was a game she played with her friend. That Carrot Top would put new things on the fridge to keep her out, but it was only for fun. Despite figuring that it might not be Carrot Top's intentions to have Derpy raid the fridge, Dash didn't care. Derpy saw it this way and therefore so did she. Derpy rotated the combination lock at lightning speed and very quickly it opened. Amazed at Derpy's prowess Dash relaxed whilst letting Derpy gobble the food. It was at this time where she was again sucked out of Derpy and deposited near the Everfree forest. Annoyed that she couldn't stay for longer Dash again made her way back to Twilight. ***** “So, what did you learn whilst in there, Dash?” “Muffins. Without muffins life would be meaningless,” she said in a daze. “Stop messing around! You're not going in there again. Can't you've seen what it has done to you?” Twilight shouted. “I knew I shouldn't have let you go back.” “I don't need to go back. Derpy has taught me everything I needed to know. She has helped me realise my true meaning in this world: to travel all over Equestria being a renown Muffin-Taster!” “Nonsense! What about being a Wonderbolt? That was your dream, Dash!” said Twilight in disbelief. “Muffins have always been my dream. Derpy helped me realise this,” persisted the pegasus. Twilight groaned. She expected this would happen. You can't just hop into another pony's mind and come out unscathed. The mind is a special thing and very influential. Especially this mind that contrasts so much to the norm. Dash seemed very different to the Rainbow Dash she once knew. “Don't worry. I'm not leaving yet on my journey. I have to first spread the word of Derpy Hooves. Gonna need some bits to get me going too...” “What do you mean by that?” asked Twilight, expecting the worst. “Okay, I've got it all worked out; 25 bits a go?” suggested Dash. “What? No! We're not charging entry for it!” shrieked Twilight. “It's not even our portal!” “Come on, I'll just put an advertisement outside and we'll see what happens. No harm done.” Twilight sighed, she was a little on the low side too and needed the bits. She was sure nopony would even want to try the silly thing anyway. Even if they did surely it wouldn't affect everypony as much as it did Dash? There wasn't too much to lose; nothing Celestia couldn't fix if things went wrong. If they did however, she would obviously deny everything. “Okay, but one advertisement. If nopony turns up then that's that and we wait for Celestia to fix this. I'm only doing this to benefit my research.” “Yes! I'll go put it up right now. I'm only trying to help everypony, Twilight.”